How Bad Are the Lions on Draft Day?

Lions fans and non-Lions fans alike perpetually joke about the woeful draft history of the Matt Millen era, but today over lunch (two crunchy chicken tacos, one soft corn tortilla steak, side of Mexican rice, some chips and uber mediocre salsa), I poured through the draft analysis in the recent Sporting News and saw this woefulness quantified.

The Sporting News issue puts forth a solid team-by-team needs analysis, but what I really love about their draft issue is that there is a team-by-team grade for the last 5 years of draft performance with legit stats to back it up. The issue lists the total number of draft picks over the past 5 years, the number of studs (loose term, but we can all pretty much agree on who is a stud and who isn't, so I trust 'em), number of starters, number of backups, number of players on other teams, and number of players no longer in the NFL.

Guess who received the worst grade? Yup, the Lions earned themselves a D-. Of the 36 picks the Lions selected in the past five drafts, they landed zero studs and only five starters. What really seals the awesomeness of this team's level of failure though, is the number of players no longer in the league.

11 of the 36 picks are not even in the NFL.

Remember, that's just a five year history. Maybe if this was at least a ten year history, that would make a little sense, but come on, that means over half those guys were drafted in the past three seasons. They aren't even 25 yet! That is 31% of all picks that are not even in the damn league.

Well, we can only continue to hope that the new administration will have a better track record. This is a key weekend coming for Detroit football as the Lions have one of the most stacked draft days they have ever seen and may ever see again. It's not often you get the first pick in the whole draft, another first round pick, and an extra 3rd and 5th rounder. The Roy Williams trade to Dallas was in my mind the best personnel move the Lions have probably ever made in my long time as a fan. I'm not exaggerating for once; I mean that. Now let's hope they take the opportunity to make this team a powerhouse on the defensive side of the ball.

For the record, my opinion on the consensus Matt Stafford pick in the first spot is "ignore the roar." I'm with the contrarians who say trade down (if anybody actually wants to trade up in this crap class of top picks) or let the clock run out. Either way, I'd take Aaron Curry (and Laurinaitis later). Risking another dud quarterback is just not a safe risk to take. The team needs to fill way too many holes with safe picks that will provide some return to risk yet another default.

As per usual, the optimism is a flowing with a little over a week to go and we're crossing our fingers for a big weekend. If there's one thing I always say that's great about being a Lion's fan, it's that the off-season is always a lot of fun. Hopefully, we'll have some reason to celebrate.

Have We Not Suffered Enough?

Really, Greg Paulus? While we're at it, let's see what Bobby Hurley is doing. Maybe he'd like me to wash his car? Is there nothing sacred?

Cabrera Homers Twice, Owns Blue Jays

In light of the Tiger's unfathomably disappointing 2008 season, Miguel Cabrera obviously provided one of the lone bright spots. Amidst the heaping steamy pile of losses, Cabrera stashed away a .292 batting average, 37 home runs, and 127 RBIs in what was not quite a MVP caliber season, but it wasn't that far off either.

Well, thus far in the 2009 season, Cabrera looks like he wants a full scale run at it. Through three games, Cabrera notched 3 multi-hit outings and currently wields a modest .700 average. Last night, he tallied two dingers and 4 RBIs to give the Tigers their first win of the season, and more importantly, avoid the 0-7 start that we were all thinking of in the back of our minds.

Sure, it's early and this could be a flash in the pan, but once Ordonez and Granderson start hitting, the top of this order should be one of the best in baseball. And hey, we're already better than the Yankees.

A Zoom Zoom in a Zoom Zoom

With two new stadiums in my neck of the woods in the new Mets and Yankees digs, I'm hoping to make a solid effort to pay a little attention to baseball this year. I say it every year and it usually lasts about two weeks before the reality sets in that fantasy baseball sucks dong and watching games is only fun at the ballpark.

Still, this year, I will stick it out. Hell, I made it out to the first ever baseball game played at Citi field, even if it was a St. John's game. Nice place though, Citi Field. The food is not all its cracked up to be, but there are lots of good spots to hang out besides the actual seat, Caesars Palace and up by the scoreboard being the best.

Anyway, the problem is the Tigers look like crap again. Off to an 0-2 start against the Jays, things are looking a little grim. The starting rotation looks fine as does the offense, so it's clear that the success or failure of the entire season rests in the hands (or Sega Thumb) of one man, Joel Zumaya. Without Zumaya, we have no hope. Maybe that's hyperbole, but with the likes of Rincon, Rodney, Lyon and Robertson in the bullpen, I honestly think with Zumaya there's playoff potential, without, there's 90 loss potential.

Zumaya is allegedly about a week away from resuming activity in the minors and hopes to be back in two weeks. Thus in about two months Zumaya should be back and playing Tiger baseball. Are the Ghosts the least bit optimistic? No, but the thought of his return would certainly increase the odds of an interesting season for a Tigers fan. After last season's disappointment, we could sure use a little zoom zoom in our zoom zoom.

Memory Lane: Mateen's "One Shining Moment"

Yes, you're sure to hear this story at least once this weekend. Shit, you've probably already read it and this is simply beating the dead horse. However, we can all agree the signature moment of the NCAA tournament comes just after the nets are cut and drum roll...it's one shining moment. The thrills, chills, spills, agony and glory are delicately cut and spliced into a magical little montage.

Well, who doesn't love that moment? Some more than others. And on the eve of the Final Four and yet, another Tom Izzo team entering the final weekend, this only seemed fitting. Izzo has forged the Michigan State basketball program into something beyond special. The win over Louisville was signature Izzo, heart and soul. And that heart and soul was forged from a warrior by the name of Mateen Cleaves.

Along with Izzo, Cleaves helped to shape a new culture for Spartans basketball. For many, Magic Johnson will always remain the face of Spartans Hoops, but notching 1A on that list has to be Mateen. Everything you see from the Spartans of today was forged through Mateen's dream. Izzo preached this dream in his pre-game speech prior to the Spartans simply dismantling Louisville. And we certainly won't hear the end of Mateen's dream story this weekend, that's for certain.

Shit, we'll probably even see Mateen sitting at Ford Field in one of his vintage sweaters. Regardless, I can't help, but sift down memory lane in appreciation. The Spartans went to three Final Fours and won a Championship in my time at Michigan State. The first Final Four trip incited riots when we lost to Duke. Nowadays, the Final Four just seems logical every single season for Sparty. A lot to do with Izzo, but also a lot to do with Mateen Cleaves.

So, check out some nostalgia with this good link and back story from Mateen and Izzo, but also for all Spartan fans...relive the glory and hope for another "One Shining Moment" come Monday. Lord knows Mateen deserves to see another dream fulfilled. Sparty On!

Ask An Expert: Jack Bauer

Yowza, we nearly let March Madness slip by without inviting even but one of our favorite minds to talk some hoops and lay down their perspective on the tournament. This year, we're gonna try to catch up with Jack Bauer on his cell phone. We all know he has some pretty busy days, so hopefully we can catch him. Let's get him on the horn...

Me: Jack, it's Entwistle. Got a second?

Jack Bauer (whispering): Go ahead.

Me: So it's down to the Final Four, what do make of the Road to Detroit thus far?

Jack Bauer (whispering): The Road to Detoit? One second. Chloe, it's Jack. Get me the schematics on Detroit International Airport. There should be an access road leading us to Gradenko.

Me: Not an access road, you know the NCAA tournament? This season it is in Detroit, do you think that provides Michigan State with an inside advantage?

Jack Bauer (whispering): There's a breach inside the FBI? I don't know how they got through the firewall, but our infrastructure is exposed. Somebody must have gotten a hold of the CIT device? This never would have happened at CTU.

Me: I bet it was Goran Suton. He seems like a terrorist.

Jack Bauer (whispering): Chloe, I need you to run a cross reference on a Goran Suton with Victor Brazen and Andre Drazen. We may have a mole on the inside.

Me: What do you make of UConn's chances to take over and win this thing? Hasheem Thabeet seems like the real deal?

Jack Bauer (whispering): We have reason to believe that Hasheem Thabeet is working with Dubaku and the Sengalis. I need to call Tony Almeida.

Me: You know what you should do? Go back to 1985 when you were awesome. Speaking of 1985, how annoying is all this talk about Villanova's 1985 season? Do you have idea how long ago that was?

Jack Bauer (whispering): I'm only like 7 days old.

Me: What ever happened to your daughter? She was the only reason I watched the show and now it sucks, but I still watch it, because I feel obligated or something?

Jack Bauer (whispering): She moved in with the original kidnapper from season 2, you know the guy who looked like Johnny Drama.

Me: How come CTU is supposedly closed, but everybody works in the exact same building and does the exact same stuff?

Jack Bauer (whispering): Things aren't always as they seem. Harris Barnes is actually Habib Marwan.

Me: Did you ever notice that if you do a google image search for Roy Williams, all the entries are of the wide receiver and none of the basketball coach. Do you think he has a CIT device or something?

Jack Bauer (whispering): Shut up before I snap your arm in half...

Me: Fine.