Rumor Has It...They're BAAAAAAAAACK!!!

Aside from an email that says "NSFW" or "RE:Fantasy"...nothing compares to getting an email that says "They're BACK!" And by they, I mean Phish. Yup, you've probably heard the internet buzz floating around that Phish will indeed be back in March of 2009. Well, I'll one up that rumor and predict the announcement will come in the middle of the night. Yup, Phish is BACK and consider me fucking ecstatic.

I know, I know - I'm much too old to get overly excited about these things. I should focus on furthering my career or laying stake in buying a home. However, it's the simple things that get me through the day. And the news or -- impending news -- that Phish will play three nights at the Hampton Coliseum on March 6th-9th in '09 - I'm downright geeked. Sorry...my apologies, but in case you didn't notice Rupes and I have been pining for this moment for quite sometime.

Um, and so in honor today - I figured I'd just get lazy and toss around some of the better "youtubes" from Hampton's past. Ah yes, the fond memories of Hampton. In '99 a buddy and I skipped our final exams to catch the two night stand. In '03 the memories from the Holiday Inn. We've all got our own fond memories of Hampton, so please do share your stories in the comments section. Lastly, I couldn't find the "Halley's Comet" from '97, but I swear by this version...find it.

Dog Log '99


Contact '03


The First Re-Union Montage '02


Gettin' Jiggy Wit It - '98


Boogie On - '03

Hope, Prediction and Tears

Ah yes, it’s nearly October which can mean only one thing; Baseball Playoffs. That sentence alone will probably be enough for many to click the pass through key to another link. However, if you’ve got a heart and soul, you’ll stick around for a one man's careless predictions and a rundown of just what it would mean for the Cubs to win the World Series. Gulp. Well, that attitude sure beats the “there is NO God mentality.”

For every Cubs fan this post-season is high, high anxiety. On the one hand, there is this belief that this team is filled with no flaws. This is arguably one of the best Cubs teams ever. They have it all from pitching, middle relief, big spot hitters, grinders, etc. Last season the Cubs were a team with flaws. The starting pitching wasn’t as reliable, nor was the bullpen, their hitters weren’t patient and they hardly ever manufactured runs. So, when last season exploded in everyone’s face in the post-season…the sting wasn’t too bad. Maybe.

Even if you think about the 2003 team, they too had several noticeable flaws like an unreliable bullpen, no real set-up man or middle relief and relying on the long ball as a main source to supply runs. 1998, same thing – the team just wasn’t that great. However, that’s what’s different this year – this team is in fact great. And that’s why not winning it this year will be more devastating than any other season of failure in the past.

Yes, more damning than Durham’s error in ’84 and even the Bartman game, which played shotgun to the bigger collapse of 2003. And that’s what makes Cubs fans so leery, so damn skeptical. We know just how capable and great this team really is and should continue to be. However, there’s that fear, that worrisome, that pessimism, that oh shit! – Zambrano hasn’t looked like Zambrano, Harden has lost velocity, what if they can’t hit, Manny scares the shit out of me – mentality.

For the Cubs winning, it seems right now like it would be more of a sense of relief. Yet, I ask why? Hasn’t this season been all about being “loose” and having fun? Why now change the mentality and let the pressure wear us down? More so than ever now is the time to relax and just enjoy this Cubs team and what should be a magical ride in the post-season.

And just what would this mean? Well, really do you expect me to comprehend what it would mean if the Cubs win the World Series? Honestly, there are a million or more stories yet to be told that can better explain what this would mean. Words would only diminish the significance. And tears would take over.

I went into this season knowing the Cubs had a decent team. I never imagined a team this likeable and this solid in every phase of the game. I opened this Baseball season with my own prediction that the Cleveland Indians in a twist of irony would end the Cubs dreams in the World Series. However, I now must obviously change that tune.

And that’s why I’m on the ledge and today I’m predicting that the Cubs…

OK, no predictions. Let’s just hope and enjoy, let the tears come later.

You Step To Anquan, You Steppin' To Death Row

Just wanted to post the video of the final minute lick that Jet's DB Eric Smith put on Anquan Boldin in the endzone. While it's silly to pick on Smith for playing hard until the whistle, this is disgusting. In fact, it's one of the most horrifying football plays I have ever witnessed. Fortunately, Boldin is reported to be OK, but he's lucky to be alive.

The fact that Reverend Warner was on hand and got both teams together to start praying really made the fans think Boldin's condition was dire. Thankfully, he was just knocked out cold and should be fine. His arms and legs still work and hopefully do do his fantasy stats. Believe it or not, I just traded for him on Saturday, so this hurts doubly. But mainly just because Boldin is the man and this is not football; this is violence. Enjoy your suspension and fine Mr. Smith and thanks your lucky stars you are not living with a world of guilt, because you got away with one.

Now We Can Die In Peace Too

Earlier today, Stan shot me a text asking, "What's the deal with that 'Letter to Tom Brady' song we made last year? I keep getting emails from Youtube saying it's getting all these new comments."

To make a long story short, in the early days of GoWF, we made a spoofy video of Bill Simmons - who undoubtedly influenced our decision to join the proliferating ranks of sports blogs - singing a love letter to Tom Brady. It's pretty much the best song in the world. So much so, that Ray from Flyer's Fieldhouse described my baritone (by the way, I am the baritone and the alto, so screw you) as an autistic Barry White. And that's being generous.

Well, the Sports Guy mentioned it in the column today in his Patriots graf.

Anyway, we're pretty psyched about it. I'm trying to think of a way to put All Blogs Go To Heaven in context, but it's not happening. Anyway, thanks Bill. You're free to punch us in the stomach one day for that.

Here's a redux of the video if you've never seen it. It's actually horrible. Does anyone wanna join the band as the lead singer?

The Chris Cooper List

Having perked up at the sight of the preview for Chris Cooper's new flick, Hurricane Mary, simply because Chris Cooper played a role, it dawned on me that I would see any movie where he makes an appearance. Chris Cooper is the man.

Hence, I'm deeming the list of actors who kick enough ass to warrant seeing anything they do, the Chris Cooper List (the ladies will get their own post, probablt named for Rachel Weisz). Anyway, here are mine, but it's tough to think of everyone, so share your's if you like...

In no particular order, here are the actors I would go see in any movies they make.

Don Cheadle - Smooth like soft serve. "Go ahead move with it if you need to, it helps me."

Check out his recent flick, "Talk to Me" for a stylish look at Cheadle in his element as a wise as DJ. "Hotel Rwanda" kicked ass too if you still haven't seen that on account of you being super lazy.

Johnny Depp - With the exception of musicals, Johnny Depp is as solid as they come. His apartment smells of rich Mahogany.

I'm sure he's fine in musicals too, but I truly hate musicals (not to be confused with Rock Operas).

Leonardo DiCaprio - Yeah yeah, say what you will about Titanic. I've been down with Leo since mutha fuckin' day one. The Basketball Diaries and Jm Carroll represent and I don't even mind Titanic that much anyway.

Chris Cooper - Obviously. Cooper's breakout was his redeck tour de force in Adaptation, but that American Beauty thing was decent as well.

Edward Norton - So many knockout roles, but the real breakout for me came in Rounders.

Freddie Highmore - I'm a big fan of kid actors who aren't terrible. My all-time favorite was River Phoenix, but since he's dead, Freddie Highmore is the new fave. Granted, he has done a few rocky movies lately, but I really dug Finding Neverland and followed him since. He also seems like a real down to Earth kid.

Seann William Scott - The Stiff man is hilarious and I think he should be in infinity movies. Why he fell off the map there momentarily is simply a product of dumb idiots thinking he was typecast. Them is dumb. SWS is one of the funniest guys out there.



Will Farrell - While he is hanging on to the last spot on this list by a fraying thread, Stepbrothers should provide a little reinforcement. I heard it's pretty awesome. By the way, you know what was not awesome? Tropic Thnder. Why did everyone tell me to see that movie. It was terrible with the exception of a few kinda funny parts.

Who is on your list?

Sony Is Better Than Mac

Just thought you should know... I finally got a new computer after months of swearing at this lousy blog and all things Internet. It's a Sony VAIO that was on sale at Best Buy. It's got some chill ass keys, a nice chassis, and most importantly, it doesn't feel like I'm dragging a pile of clay through a small mouse hole.

My wife has a Mac and it blows. You are all suckas to the marketing man. Macs are for wankers. I'll run a multi-variate regression on my fast-as-shit MS Excel program to prove it; so bring it on designers.

Have the Clouds Been Lifted from Detroit?

It hasn't exactly been the most glorious of times in Detroit as of late. The economy is in the tank, jobless rates are increasing, the auto-industry is struggling, jobs are being outsourced, the mayor is embedded in controversy and oh yeah, the Lions stink once again. For a blue collar town like Detroit...sports is a safe haven.

This summer was supposed to be a summer of sheer dominance for the Tigers. However, despite having the second highest payroll in all of baseball they are now battling with the fucking Kansas City Royals for last place in the AL Central. Yes, last place. Yes, the Royals. Aside from that, Gary Sheffield has completely lost his mind and is now vowing revenge on anyone and everyone. Um, maybe that's just the steroids talking.

Factor in another disappointing end to the Pistons season and the Michigan Wolverines walking disaster of a football program and you can see the impending sports depression brewing in Detroit. Well, let's not sound like a bunch of ungrateful jack asses...the Red Wings did win the cup and they do open training camp this week. So, there is light at the end of the tunnel. And who could forget about the resurgence of Michigan State football? (Yes, the last part was a joke...maybe).

Moving on, you get my drift hopefully by now that all is not well on the Detroit sports scene. And a lot of that comes from expectations. However, a good chunk of that comes from hope and the hope that one day, just one day the Detroit Lions would turn the ship around. Say what you will about popularity in Sports towns. I know the common consensus is that Detroit is a Red Wings town. However, I beg the notion that if the Lions could ever even sniff success the city would turn on it's axis.

Well, today the Lions made the first step in the right direction by bidding farewell to Matt Millen. It took long enough and the nightmare lasted about 8 years too long. However, consider today one giant step forward and a glimpse of light on the horizon.

The notion of mocking Millen had gotten so worn, as to not even bother by last season. This season most of us were flat out numb to the mockery. What was left to do? You'd shrug your shoulders in an almost defeated stance. Well, ding-dong the witch is dead...or the beast is dead. I have no clue what this means for the Lions or where they go from here.

They're probably still looking at flirting with an 0-16 mark. However, one thing I do know is there is sweet relief in Detroit today. You always know it's gonna be one of those days when text messages and emails are bouncing in left and right. There's a buzz about Lions fans today and now it's time to move forward. Thank god it's finally over, thank god...it's finally over.

Just check out the Freep.com to discover all the blunders and the official Millen farewell tour...good stuff.

"Look Jimmy the storm's gone!"

Ring Up the Heisman?

There are several reasons why Javon Ringer is and should continue to be considered in the early Heisman discussion. However, the sad reality is that Javon Ringer will undoubtedly be overlooked when the final vote comes around. Now, I'd be whining if I bitched and moaned about the east coast bias or the popularity contest the Heisman itself has become. Although, that stuff is fun to mention...right?

OK, right no bitching. Rather, today I figured it best to just give you the reasons why Ringer should win the Heisman. And why, if you or I had a vote or a voice of reason...we'd make sure he wins that friggin' award.

1. He's going to set records: Now, I'm hardly up-to-speed on my College statistics. Yet, I'm fairly certain he's going to set a record for carries in one game. I'm thinking he could easily land around the 60 carry mark in one game. Am I exaggerating...yes, but only for effect. Seriously though, he is on pace to rush for 33 TD's this season. And is that possible...probably not, but 25 is totally doable.

2. He is Michigan State: And I mean that, both figuratively and literally. This team has absolutely nothing else. Nothing. Sure, Mark Dell is promising, but Hoyer stinks. The defense is an ongoing disaster and really there is only option, Ringer. When he's not toting the rock on average of 36 times per game, he's also returning kick-offs. He does it all and he's the only one on the Spartans that is really capable of doing anything.

3. Appreciate the Blue Collar: The Heisman award has become all about finesse and popularity. Isn't it time we award a "work horse" who simply wills his way in everyone game. I mean don't we love an underdog? Ringer is a little guy with a huge heart that just keeps pounding the rock. He ain't afraid to get dirty and grind out a game. I mean after all, isn't that the Big 10 strategy - run two HB dives and then go play action? Well, Ringer is fine going HB dive-HB dive, HB-draw. It's just his nature.

Yeah, I know pretty lame reasons to vote for a guy with an outside chance after only four games. However, rest assured if Ringer stays healthy...he'll reach the masses. Unfortunately, he plays for Michigan State and that will most likely be the nail in his coffin. Well, at least all us Spartan fans can dream...for now.

Ten Possible Career Moves for Stan

I bet you thought we would go all conventional and bang out "Ten Possible Career Moves for Matt Millen." Come on, give us some credit. Matt Millen is a bonafide celebrity and already has booth experience under his belt. Thus, he'll be fine if - God willing - the Detroit Lions finally end his tenure as President. The real concern is what will be Stan's bread and butter column if we lose Millen. I'm sure we can keep riding Millen's next moves, but just in case here are some new ideas to bang around. Any preferences?

1) Al Gore and the Powerpoint Presentation

2) Chad Johnson and the Extensive Media Coverage of Crappy Players

3) Bob Delaney and the Referee Mafia

4) Jon Kitna and the Fish

5) Mike Shanahan and the Secret Fantasy Team

6) David Silver and the West Beverly Lunchtime Playlist

7) Kim Bauer and the Predictable Kidnapping

8) Michigan State and the Ghetto Wide Receiver

9) The Athlete and the Blogger Who Doesn't Care if He Drinks Sometimes

10) Alan Mulally and the Intern (Matt Millen)

Is This The One Where Michigan Screws Someone?

Ask a Wisconsin Badger fan how they feel going into this Saturday's game against Rich Rodriguez's Wolverines and you'll always get the same answer. "Well, we should win, but it's the Big Ten, so we'll probably blow it." It's the same exact answer a Michigan fan will give heading into a Michigan State or Minnesota game being heavily favored.

There is voodoo element to Big Ten football, where no matter how good a particular team may be in a given year; there are certain matchups where the bets are off. The Vegas lines mean nothing, because the minute the ball leaves that kickoff tee, the great equalizer that is tradition comes into play.

In particular, Wisconsin has hangups against the Wolverines, which is natural considering the 48-12-1 history of the matchup. Wisconsin to Michigan is like one of those high school teams that always wants to beat the best team in the conference and plays their whole season building up to that big game, yet the rivalry is one sided. Michigan worries about Michigan State and Ohio State; Wisconsin worries about Michigan. OK fine, now I'm just baiting.

Still, Michigan has genuinely improved each week on offense and the offensive line should get back two key linemen in tackle Mark Ortmann and guard Mark Huyge. If these two play, the offensive line will be better off than what we saw against Notre Dame.

The real key to the game for Michigan offensively is some semblance of a competent game manager at quarterback. Steven Threet looks pretty capable, but Nick Sheridan keeps making his way into the game. I do not understand this approach as clearly one of these guys needs to get as much experience as possible. I think a firm starter would do a lot for this offense.

To win this game, I'd expect Michigan to try to work a lot of quick passes like the play that sprung super frosh Sam McGuffie against Notre Dame. The Wisconsin defense is probably going to own the Michigan offensive line, so Rodriguez's spread sets and quick strikes are gonna come in handy.

Obviously, the defense is shaky for the Wolverines. Only a fool would expect Michigan's defensive line - who couldn't stop an average-at-best Notre Dame attack - is not stopping P.J. Hill. Hill will likely to average at least 5 yards per carry against Michigan's loose box even despite the back and leg bruise he suffered against Fresno State.

But keep in mind a couple intangibles: Michigan has a 22 game Big Ten home opener win streak and they are coming off a bye week. Wisconsin comes off a bye as well, but obviously the inexperienced Michigan team needed one most. Most importantly, both teams are 0-0 in the league and that's what matters. I'm calling for the upset.

Oh and by the way Michigan haters, win or lose for the Wolverines, enjoy this down season while it lasts, because we might already have our man at quarterback.

Meatloaf Is Perhaps Best Pitcher Ever

I stumbled upon an interesting story by Wall Street Journal writer, Beth DeCarbo, while trying to dig up a story from last week about the absurdities of those new stadium ticket seat licenses. We'll get to that in one second, but first, check out this piece about Meatloaf's impressive collection of sports knick-knacks, including a game soiled Cal Ripken Jr. jersey and a signed DiMaggio ball that says Meatloaf is one of the best pitchers he ever faced. Apparently, Meatloaf doesn't throw meatballs... cha-ching.

And finally, here is that must read story about the seat licenses. I'm sure you have heard a thing or two about these by now, but it's just outrageous. I used to believe StubHub provided a valuable service to both the buyer and seller of a ticket, but it is becoming clear that the service is provided to the seller of the tickets and more so, the greedy owners behind the scenes. Stubhub (now part of Ebay) basically validated this gouging in sports ticketing by providing the research via their auctions (aka, legalized scalping) to show the absolute top dollar fans will pay. And now of course, that's how much we will pay. We can now expect it to spread to all other sports and live entertainment. Good luck to the New York Hedge Funds Lawyers Jets.

Millen and the PR Team: "Matt's Mailbag"

(Editors Note: So, here's the scoop and another day in the life and times of thee Matt Millen. It all started with Millen and his intern plotting ways to improve the Lions while eating Wendy's catch-up packets. However, after years of lacking the fundamentals of effective communications skills, Matt's publicist stepped in to beef up the PR campaign and for keep sake of Matt's name and status.)

That brings us to the present tense. And here stands a man many would see as defeated, but that's just not the case. In this innovative and fast paced world of blogs and instant sports news via the web, ole Matt felt he needed to reach out more to the fans. Shit, if Mark Cuban can run and maintain a highly trafficked blog, why can't Matt Millen...right? On the advice of his agent and PR team, Matt is opening up the fan mail and answering away in candid fashion. So, let's poke right into "Matt's Mailbag"...shall we?

Q: Just wanted to let you know you’re a jackass.

-Mike, San Francisco, CA.

MM: Jack-Fuck.

Q: Did you steal my Jesus fish?

-Jon, Detroit

MM: Yes, yes I did. Sell your soul to the Devil you Nazi looking fuck. It’s for the good of the team. God will judge you on your NFL Career and trust me; the way things are shaping up right now…you and I will be toasting each other in hell with a Pina Colada in hand.

Q: Quit.

-Voice of Reason, USA

MM: Balls. Lick.

Q: It’s always sunny in Philadelphia.

-Marty (ASSISTANT HEAD COACH), Philadelphia Eagles.

MM: I fucked your wife.

Q: Matt, I can’t tell you how great things are for me these days. I have less ulcers, sleep better at night, still rub elbows with Brett Favre and my famous NFL friends. Life couldn’t be better. Really, let’s bury the hatchet…I didn’t mean to slash your tires and threaten to stab you after you let me go. Let’s let bygones be bygones. You belong back on the other side, in front of the cameras. I can probably pull some strings and get you on as a PA for the NFL Network. Who knows after a few years of getting my coffee and fluffing my balls, maybe you can catch a break – ASS!

-Steve, Iron Mountain, MI.

MM: I fucked your wife, too.

Q: First Rudi Johnson, now I hear whispers of Shaun Alexander or maybe even Cedric Benson. What the hell are you doing, trying to recreate the most dynamic Fantasy backfield, circa 2006?

-Brandon F., Sunnyvale, CA

MM: Funny you should bring up this proposition. Well, for years as you may know I would lust over WR’s with checkered pasts, but buttloads of ability. Then it dawned on me this past off-season that the Lions just haven’t been the same since Barry Sanders left. So, if I can add a slew of great or once great RB’s…surely, I’ll eventually get it right.

Q: I plan on ripping your pathetic secondary a new asshole on Sunday. And oh yeah, Mike wanted me to let you know you’re an ASS.

-J.T, San Francisco, CA

MM: You fucking Bob Saget looking piece of shit. You are the worst QB to ever wear the Honolulu Blue and Silver. And that’s saying a lot…ever heard of Scott Mitchell?

Q: Who’s the fag now? I’ll whoop your ass if you want a piece.

-J. Morton, Torrance, CA

MM: You skinny pencil dick jack-fuck. I’m watching the “youtube” of you get knocked the fuck-out on repeat as we speak.

Q: Ass.

-Mike M., San Francisco, CA

MM: Prick.

Q: ATTENTION LION FANS!!! Fire Millen rally before the home game against Chicago on October 5^th. We are going to burn a life size Millen figurine made of cookie dough.

-City of Detroit, MI.

MM: I will find and I will fuck your afternoon up, you b-rate blogger.

Q: What is your long term plan?

-Lions Fans.

MM: I don’t fucking have one. Where have you been for the last 8 years?

Q: I’m available.

-C. Rogers, Saginaw, MI.

MM: Ping me your agents #. Let’s talk next week.

Q: Isn’t it fun be the butt end of everybody’s jokes? Or haven’t you realized they are all laughing at you, not with you?

-W. Fontes, Somewhere in Suburban Detroit.

MM: No thanks, I don’t need any of your cocaine sir.

The Fastest Video Game Guys in History

Speed. It is the great equalizer. Be you small or large, black or white, rich or poor, football or futbol; if you’re fast (and a video game athlete), we love you. Thus, this one goes out to all those terrific speedsters throughout the years who led the league in seven categories, played both ways, and ran up scores on a daily basis: the fastest players in video game history.

Theoren Fleury, NHL ’94 - While I’m sure Steve Yzerman, Jeremy Roenick, and Don Sweeney would have something to say about this, Fleury was at times the smallest player in the league, yet he destroyed everybody. Nobody really knows why he had this amazing checking ability in the game, but he was bad as hell and in this not really humble opinion, the best player in the game.

Check out Theo scrapping in USSR versus Canada juniors in an absolute gang fight. Honestly, if you have never seen this, it is a must see.



Vince Coleman, RBI Baseball – The number six on the all time stolen base list is by far the number one on the video game list. Coleman was lethal for the two-player game, because you could taunt your opponent with unfair contests of pickle and hit homers off a bunt.

Skinny Guys, Nintendo Hockey – While they couldn’t fight worth a damn and their shot was the speed of a glass of wine spilling in a carpet commercial, the little guys could skate.

The QB in John Elway’s Quarterback – I forget if this came from a secret code or the Game Genie, but you could make these guys flat out fly. We’re talking about “when you use somebody else’s mouse who keeps it on ludicrous speed and then you try to highlight a few rows in Excel” fast. While John Elway’s football otherwise sucked, when you turned up the juice, this was one of the best video games of the early Nintendo days.

Michael Vick, Madden ‘07 – Check this out. There is a site called Madden Tips with a section called “How do you stop Michael Vick?” Good lord that conversation is intense. You mean you don’t just run Monster Blitz every down anymore? Anyway, Vick is damn near unstoppable as he is faster than Chinese delivery and throws lasers on the run.



Demarcus Beasley, FIFA ’08 - I confess, I used Google for this one, but the intentions were good. I wanted a nice diverse list for all sports fans to enjoy. I really did used to play FIFA all the time and it ruled, but all I really remember is Argentina was damn fast, but no particular players. So, instead you get Beasley. According to the video game forums, he is fast as hell as long as you don’t hit up the updates (then he’s injured).

Bo Jackson, Tecmo Bowl or Bill Walsh College Football’93 – From team obvious, we could not leave Bo Jackson off the list. Everybody knows about Bo’s Tecmo skills, but he’s underrated in Walsh.



Barry Sanders, Super Tecmo Bowl – Could we get a moment of silence for the career that got cut short? There should have been so much more, but at least we’ll always have Super Tecmo.

One last YouTube, because this guy has some nice moves.



So who else should be one here?

Author’s Note: Is it not a little weird how much time people spend videotaping themselves play video games?

Chuck Klosterman Book Reading, Quite Fun

Thanks to a dirty habit of reading the AM New York on the subway in the morning (which is promptly followed by reading USA Today on the train), I noticed Chuck Klosterman was slotted to read at the Union Square Barnes & Noble this evening.

Generally speaking, book readings are sort of weird - the primary reason being because they often take place in a bookstore... with a podium. Ever hear of a bar? Nevertheless, I popped in at 7 pm prompt and despite being amongst what I would estimate at 150 people, I got a seat up front.

Chuck came out, made a crack about the decision to walk up the stairs or the ramp to the podium, rattled off a funny anecdote about iPhone's being equipped with crappy versions of every phone application known to man/woman, and peeled open the cover of his new book, "Downtown Owl." Unbeknownst to me, the book is actually Klosterman's first attempt at a full length work of fiction, which is great news. Not wanting to reveal too much about the characters or confuse the fact that it is really based on three primary characters, he chose to read one chapter about a peripheral character, a gym teacher whose vice is impregnating high school girls.

The writing felt much like his personal writing, but obviously sans the herba buena induced internal dialogue which is replaced with fictional character dialogue. The charm is the same and the reading piqued the interest level for sure. I did space out for a while wondering about when I read this book, how weird it will be to get to the chapter a) I already heard read aloud and b) if I will visualize the exact surroundings of Barnes & Noble (primarily the instructions on getting an autographed copy of the book that are neatly adhered to the back of every single seat).

But, the best part of seeing a book reading or the like is hearing the bonkers questions people come up with at the Q&A.

Of course, some dude asked about Buzz Bissinger, Will Leitch, the Internet, and all that. Klosterman basically said what we all know. Blogs suck because there are too many and most aren't very good. So it goes.

Another guy asked come January, "Who will be the Super Bowl champ and who will be president?" Chuck first responded confidently, "Obama will win, but it's gonna be really close" and then decided on the spot, "Philadelphia will be Super Bowl champs." Good choice, but nobody will be Super Bowl champs in January. The game is actually in February.

One person asked the most impossible question of all time. I actually got nervous thinking that I was at an interview. "If you could go back in time and ask one person a single question, who and what would it be?" The answer: "Jesus. How did you let this all happen?" or something to that effect. It was pretty hilarious. Then he went on a funny tangent describing a game he and his buddies play where they ask random questions and once asked, "If you could call your 15 year old self for 20 seconds, what would you say?" This led to a mockery of his friends who said "Buy Google stock." I suppose I would tell myself to go see the Dead before Jerry kicks the can. Actually, I'd say to buy Google.

Finally, I almost forgot, someone asked him "If you had to give up either sports or music for the rest of your life, which would it be." Shockingly, he said he would nix music citing that he enjoys just sitting there and watching and listening to sports more as well as the fact that he liked sports first by a margin of 8 years old to 11. I think that might be a bad call actually.

Anyway, I always really liked Chuck Klosterman, but I like him more now. He genuinely wanted to stand up there and keep answering questions even after the B&N host gave him the "2 more questions" cue on separate occasions and he genuinely thanked everyone for coming. It always seems like you know a writerto some extent or a musician when you connect with their work, but it's definitely cool when you can kinda confirm it, which is what this reading did today.

Study: Gunshots Do Not Have Calming Effect

This is actually no laughing matter as innoent lives were lost in this tragic, bizarre sporting kerfuffle. In a futbol match in Congo, 13 soccer fans, mostly between the ages of 11 to 16 were crushed when paranoia over a soccer player using witchcraft induced utter mayhem. As reactions over the player grew more intesnse, police fired gun shots in the air to calm the crowd. Oddly, that seemed to only fuel the panic, ultimately leading to the suffocation of 13 fans.

While this story is almost to nuts for words, there is a long history of violence here, so presumably things were getting more heated than simply over the witchcraft mumbo jumbo.

[Regional governor] Mpaluku said the government was investigating.

He made no mention of witchcraft, but confirmed that soldiers had fired into the air to calm angry crowds. The shooting prompted panic instead, which became fatal "when the crowds all tried to leave at the same time."

"Most of the dead were children, only two or three were adults," Mpaluku said.

North Kivu has been the epicenter of violence between Congo's army and rebels over the last year which has displaced hundreds of thousands of people.

Stranger than fiction indeed. While we never like to see soccer violence, on a positive note at least this brings a little attention to yet another region of Africa undergoing extreme turmoil that rarely makes the headlines in the U.S.

Big Weekend in the GoWF Invitational Fantasy League

On September 14th and 15th of 2008, two powerhouses would collide. The Wayne Fontes Experience and their "Big Al' would attempt to enter the house of Ghost in Fontes Bowl II. That's right, in the Battle of the Fontes, the Wayne Fontes Experience faced off against the Ghosts of Wayne Fontes in a fantasy football showdown.

While the Yahoo! predictor foreshadowed a close battle with a spread of just 3 points, the first meeting of the 2008 season would be all Ghosts by a score of 109.83 to 74.68. Despite Vernon Davis laying a big round turd, the Ghosts (aka, Funston's Widows Peak) would rally behind the strong play of the Seattle defense (despite loosing to the woeful 49ers) and Adrian Peterson. Big Al saw noble efforts by Larry Fitz and Earnest Graham come up short thanks to a pool crapping by the Chargers' defense, Carson Palmer, and Marvin Harrison.

Will the Ghosts go on to win their proprietary league and induce cheating skepticism? Will newcomers Lord Charles make a run? Will Jon Pyle's List defend the throne? Or will Nature Boy, Text Kwame for Diack, Bad Choice Milk, Max Power, or Empty the Bench come up with the crown? Stay tuned. Anything is possible...

Favre Most Untriumphant in Meadowlands Debut

It felt like it was meant to be, a symbolic changing of the guard in AFC if you will. The Meadowlands was unbelievably adorned with Brett Favre jerseys (green ones, blue one, green and yellow ones, and even makeshift spray painted ones), considering the fact that he had not played a single game in New Jersey as a Jet yet. The terrible cliches were out in force, including but not limited to excessive use of Braodway Brett and Jett Favre. And of course, Tom Brady wasn't playing.

When the first drive commenced, Brett Favre looked exactly like the Brett Favre who picked apart my Lions last Thanksgiving with 20 straight completions. That first drive reminded why this guy is so popular. When he is on, he's the best quarterback in the world. The Jets made quick work of the Pats defense, marching right down the field. Then, in classic Jets form, they sputtered in the red zone, settling for a field goal from the 11. Which they missed. And That was the end of the game.

From that moment on, the Jets looked bad. The line which was so dominant just a drive before, couldn't keep the pressure off. The running game, despite a much improved O-Line, couldn't get it going. Brett's best completion came on a tremendous grab by Jericho Cotchery on a towering one-on-one fly pattern only to be called back by a crappy offensive pass interference call. Favre's only TD pass came on a red zone crossing pattern, which was a blatant pick one the defender that they got away with, so I guess it's only fair.

Most reports will say that Cassel outplayed Favre, but that's a stretch. Cassel did little to nothing outside of his first nice drive as well. After that it was the a wholly uninspired game. Favre did throw a disastrous pick though, which was just a terrible throw.

Overall, this was a poorly played game by two teams, but the Pats made less dumb mistakes. Also, Ben Graham's punting was a major contributor as the Pats started most drives inside the 50. I think the big Aussie drank a lot of bloody mary's Sunday morning in hopes of curbing his hangover, because he practically missed the ball on every punt. One actually flew about 25 yards out of bounds.

As for notes about my first trip to the Meadowlands, the dude with the Fireman's hat who does the J-E-T-S chant was amusing, not because he does anything enjoyable, but more so because the kid I sat next to for most of the game was terrified of him. Everytime he came on the Jumbo he would excitedly tell us, "He's on again, look, look." So, finally I asked, "Do you actually like him?" and he matter-of-factly responded, "Not at all, I'm scared of him."

Also, Jenn Sterger seems to have found a new role as Sprint's random in-game, on-field personality, whereby she introduces the cheerleaders before they bust into a routine. It's pretty random and she actually has a pretty bad on-air presence. I think she is actually a decent writer, so not sure why she keeps going this route. She also asks trivia questions to fans and that type of thing. Remember that sweet interview we did with her? Man are we cool or what?


A lot of people give the Meadowlands a bad rap for transportation to and from the stadium. I was actually totally impressed with the NJ Transit system. The train from Penn Station took 10 minutes and then we promptly took the bus for a net travel time of about 45 minutes. After the game, the wait for that bus was slightly on the brutal side, but nothing like what I expected. I'm sure the complaints come more from people who attempt to drive to the game.

In terms of crazy fan stories, I don't have any good ones today, because I was doing the work thing, so we didn't get to tailgate, but it looked like a great parking lot scene out there. Jets fans definitely know how to do it up.

All in all, just a poorly played game, but a grand old time at the soon to be defunct Meadowlands. It always fun to check out a new venue for the first time, unfortunately, I really hoped for a different outcome. Next time, the Jets win this game.

Fast Cars and Loose Ends

Sorry for the weak ass effort this week folks. If there is one thing I hate about recessions, it's that it invariably means we have to work a lot harder. I guess it beats getting canned though, so we ain't complaining. Nevertheless, we'll try to devote more time the Ghosts of Dwayne Wayne next week.

For starters, we'll get your weekend started right with an old hit that I recently added to my iPod and immediately remembered why this was my anthem at age 16. You could have found me and my Gs rolling in the metallic gold Mazda 626 with a terrible exhaust problem, yet bumping the bass of this song at least 4 hours per day - typically with at least member of the vehicle with a whippet in his or her mouth (Ok, that's a lie, it was always a "his"). I'm pretty sure it was called "Ghetto Bastard" back thn though. I also decided based upon listening to this song, I plan to work the words "smooth it out" into conversation far more regularly.



In terms of the sports agenda for the weekend, the Suck Bowl II between the Wolverines and Irish blows everything else out of the water. I don't care if both teams blow, it sets the tone for the whole Big Ten football season. How long till Clausen gets benched in favor of Dayne Crist?

Obviously, the Ohio State versus Trojans game is number two. There are few things better than an excellent college football game that occurs on a Friday or Saturday night and this is one of them. It's amazing that TV programmers are still naive to the fact that despite the obvious facts that football fans like drinking and drinking is better on days when you don't have to work the following day, that this happens so infrequently. Didn't you learn the transitive property of equality. (i.e., God is light, light is good, hence God is good).

Speaking of God, how much you wanna bet the Lions come back and screw with everyone with a big time win this week? Oh wait, actually I forgot my wallet at home and the Lions are terrible. I am not buying the Kevin Smith stock yet and the defense just reeked up the place last week. I think I might not pay attention this year.

In other news, I'm going to the Jets versus Pats game on Sunday. This is my first time at the Meadowlands, despite living in the Crapple for about 5 years, so I'm pretty pumped with or without Tom Brady.

In stupid fantasy football news, I'm going against my better judgement and starting Anthony Piesano Fasano over Chris Cooley. Fasano looked pretty damn reliable and got a ton of looks last week and Cooley is nursing a pulled quad, so what the hell. For the record, I'm 0-3 so far this year, so don't listen to anything I say until further notice.

Alright, it's about time for me to hit the road, but before we go, there's... bad gambling advice.

Hammer East Carolina tonight. Hammer.

Love the Falcons +7 over Tampa

Brian Griese's Titans to the house +1 over Bungals

Colts +2 over Vikings - Too easy

Eagles +7 over Dallas

Jets -1 over Pats (go Cotchery!)

Lowest Expectations Ever

Sorry, that is disgusting I know, but it's official. The Detroit Lions have succeeded in sucking all life as a fan out of my body. After giving up 220 yards to the poor man's Lamont Jordan, I don't even know where to throw myself.

Let's put this in perspective here folks, the Falcons suck. Before I even begin this balls out tirade, please focus your attention on this link of the 2008 ESPN Power Rankings. Keep scrolling... Yep, there they are way down there at the bottom. The Falcons are #32, which - if you're keeping track - is the worst fucking team in the NFL. You know what's the scariest part of the equation? The Atlanta offensive line is by most accounts, one of the absolute worst in the league. Sports Illustrated ranked this offensive line a D grade and Lindy's gave it a 5.5 score out of 10 (which is the worst score they issued).

We knew the Lions had issues on the defensive line, but this is bloody horrifying. It's a good thing they are so confident in that secondary, because they are going to need to make a shitload of tackles if this keeps up. Unfortunately, they couldn't even attempt to stop the run against a fucking rookie quarterback debut. Jesus H, think they might try to run the ball? Anger.

Oh by the way, besides Michael Turner's 220, the Falcons managed another 101 on the ground for a total of 321 rushing yards with an 8.2 yards per carry average. That's even hard to do in Bill Walsh College Football with Tony Rice running the Notre Dame triple option.

Coach Rod Marinelli had this killer insight to say about it in a postgame interview.

"It's tackling. Anybody can see that," Lions coach Rod Marinelli said. "The fits were OK, but we've got to wrap up. And we've got to get more hats on the ball."

That sounds like a cliche high school coach. Hit. Wrap. Lift. Drive. Simple as that. Let's go boys.

What happens when you go up against a good offensive line with some semblance of a passing game? Then do you blame it on "just not having it today?" How about admitting this team is the laughing stock of not just the NFL, but of all sports and of all time.

Well, if there is one good thing to come out of this embarrassing week 1 blowout and another crap year, it's that we won't get out hopes up this time, which I guess is better than last year. At least know we know what to expect. Nothing.

Feel Good Story of the Week

Don't worry, I am not gonna yammer on about Phish reuniting to play three songs at a wedding in New York City, which is totally freaking awesome news. On the contrary, this story occurred in the second half of the Vanderbilt - South Carolina battle of SEC middleweights on Thursday night.

Coming off the strong buzz of the NFL season opener, I wanted more football, so tuned in to see what Spurrier and his crew looked like. In actuality, this should really be the time for the Gamecocks to start busting out as a powerhouse, since Spurrier has now been around long enough to bring in his own recruits.

In the midst of a fourth quarter drive for the Commodores, seldom-used wide receiver, Chris Reinert (pictured, although he looks more like Lattimer now), came into the game and hurt his leg in an undecipherable cloud of dust. The coverage of the incident was fairly non-existent, but it was evident that Reinert hurt his leg badly. Reinert was down and being tended to seriously before ESPN went to commercial. When coverage returned, we saw Reinert getting carted off the field.

Just as the commentating team was discussing the severity of the injury, Reinert summoned up his inner Mike Utley and threw a solid "We're number one" up in the air, which was met with to uproarious crowd cheering. Then, eating it up, you could see a rush of energy far overpowering that of any pain as he started waving his arms up in down - the universal signal for, "let's make some fuckin' noise." The crowd went bananas. I won't lie, it was a full mist up moment. One of those great moments in a sporting event in which I held absolutely no personal vested interest whatsoever, yet suddenly found myself immersed. In fact, one of the commentators went as far as to say something to the effect of, "Wow, that's scary, because he must be in shock. That leg was messed up pretty badly."

Within seconds, I was converted momentarily into a die hard Commodore fan. They immediately scored on that drive and provided a momentum burst. Still, the Gamecocks chipped away at the lead, cutting the lead to within seven and getting a final 2 minute-drill shot at the tie/win, but the Commodores held on.

In the box score, you cannot find Chris Reinert's name, because he didn't record a single catch. He probably only played in 3 plays for the whole game. But he deserves the MVP. Hell, he deserves a plaque, because moments like that are what makes being a sports fan fun; the gay moments where we get all emotional about games that shouldn't otherwise matter. Good times.

Republicans Host Fantasy Draft, Houshmandzadeh Drops to the Ninth Round

As part of the festivities this week in Minneapolis-Saint Paul, a group of high profile politicians hosted a friends and family fantasy football draft at the Republican National Convention. We caught up with one lucky guest who was invited to participate, that lone random cheering black guy, Lance Beekman to discuss the results.

"I really enjoy playing in the Republican friends and family league. They have some really interesting strategies," said Beekman.

"For example, Sarah Palin kept selecting guys like Warren Moon and Haywood Jeffires. Then she got all up my face and started thrusting her pelvis and yelling 'yeah, suck it bitch.'"

"John McCain did this weird thing where he wouldn't draft anybody whose name contained certain letter combinations, such as 'eed,' 'ah,' 'sh,' or 'ad.'" T.J. Houshmandzadeh was still available in the ninth and Ahman Green went all the way to the fifteenth. I think that might be how they make that terrorist watch list actually."

As for the Commander in Chief's team, it appears that George W. Bush employed some weird tactics as well. "G.W. traded me Reggie Bush and Larry Johnson for Steven Gostkowski and Eli Manning. I think he didn't know they were black when he picked 'em," Beekman winked.

Looking at the overall results, the only other decent team besides Beekman's was Rush Limbaugh's, but that was but a fluke according to Beekman. "Yeah, Limbaugh's team's aight. But that's just because we set his draft to autopick, because he kept noddin' out. I got this thing in the bag."

I'm Still Gambling...Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

Well, isn't that not a "gay" title for a post? Yup, but I'm just about giddy for Kick-Off tonight. I've digested enough Fantasy Football to last me a life time and now I'm simply ready for the real thing. Hopefully, you could make the assumption by the title, that yes indeed I am still gambling. One of these days I'm sure I'll look myself in the mirror and snap out of this gambling hobby. Yet, for now I'm just going to soak in the glory for starting right now it's a clean slate for everyone.

You guessed it, new season and we are all 0-0. So, let's go out there and get some fucking money...right? Don't jump out of your seat, keep glaring at the computer screen. Better advice would be just to follow along, as I piss away my money and eventually wallow in misery. Oh well, getting there is half the fun...right?

Very well, let's roll into who I'ma likin' this'a week.

N.Y GIANTS (-4.5) over Washington

Since the NFL rolled out this Thursday Night Kick-Off special the defending Super Bowl Champ is 4-0 against the spread. Expect a relaxed Eli, an inspired effort from the defense and a roaring home crowd to help carry the cover.

MIAMI (+3) over N.Y Jets

Sticky Ricky is 'bout to get icky on the Jets. Really, Brett Favre makes the Jets that much better than last season? Really? Well, I'm not buying it.

TENNESSEE (+3) over Jacksonville

What coach has his team more ready to play on Sunday than Jack Del Rio? Oh, that's right...Jeff Fischer. In a league of flux, Jeff Fischer is the one constant. For the life of me I can't quite cope with going against the Titans as a "homedog." What the hell kind of spread is that? Look, I know the Jags are great and all, but the Titans aren't exactly garbage. Am I reading too much into this? Is there something I don't know?

Seattle (PK) over BUFFALO

I don't know why I love you like I do. All this trouble that you put me through. Take my money, my cigarettes...

Oh, that's just how my past relationships in betting on the Hawks have gone. Oh, well.

PHILADELPHIA (-7) over St. Louis

Route alert. The Rams are headed for another lousy season and the Iggles, I believe are headed in the opposite direction. Last season I swore by the McNabb "F.U" campaign. Well, it's gonna happen this year and that starts on Sunday.

Dallas (-5) over CLEVELAND

Bold prediction: The Brady Quinn era happens around Week 8 when the Browns are 3-5. Ouch.

SAN FRANCISCO (+2.5) over Arizona

Fuck it. Go Money line. The 49ers are growing on me. Here is my "SLEEPER."

That's all folks...good luck.

Drill Baby Drill

We gotta blow up that arena.

One Timers

It's been a while since we dusted off the old one timers column. In other words, it's been a while since I didn't have anything in particular to write about, but got sick of doing my job, so started rambling. Anyway, I can't freaking wait until tomorrow to kick off the fantasy football season yet again. In case you forgot, I am now two time reigning champ of my money league. Happy football eve folks.

Have you ever noticed when you watch Eight Men Out how all the players bash Charlie Comiskey, constantly calling him "commie" and making repeated mention of being an insufferably cheap bastard? He even jipped the guys out of their bonus upon winning the pennant and gave them a case of shitty flat champagne. The question is, why does the guy have a stadium named after him still today if he was such a bastard that he drove his players to throw a freaking World Series. You'd have to be pretty desperate for cash to throw a series, right?

Thoughts on the Big Ten so far? Well, I have a feeling Juice Williams at Illinois is gonna steal the show from Terrell Pryor, the injured Chris Wells, and the best offensive line in college football (all Ohio State) and bring a Big Ten championship to Champaign-Urbana.

As for the Wolverines, have you wondered why we haven't really weighed in yet? It's because we simply have no idea what is going on and am just gonna watch for a while. I will say, I'm enjoying having the expectations lowered again with attainable goals as opposed to perfection-or-bust, which is a terrible way to go. Last year was the worst college football season I can remember and it's all because of stupid expectations.

Something pointless and irrelevant to my life that I disagree with: why would the Jets name Alan Faneca and Brett Favre their captains? Neither of them have even played a game as a Jet. A team captain should be a team leader who has earned the respect of his troops like Paul Blake and the Armadillos.

I'm playing in three fantasy leagues this season and here are the best names so far: Yer Cousin's on COPS (that one is mine. I stole it from a Reverend Peyton song), Heath Ledger's Vicodin, Bursa Saccing (nice dorky sports fan name), Brandon Funston's Widow's Peak (also mine), Isaac Hayes Treadmill, the Real Dirt Nasty, and Mung!

There are a surprising number of team names this season that I don't understand.

So, I'm just starting to plow through Heroes: Season 2 and I gotta say, it's awful so far. Who are all these people? Why is Tekezo Kenzei an employee from PricewaterhouseCoopers? Why did Claire cut her toe off right in front of a flying spy? I hate tv.

Cheers to the Falcons for slashing ticket prices in order to prevent a blackout for the opener this weekend. When I was in college in Ann Arbor, nothing used to eat my friends and I up like ordering our personal $5.99 large one topping and sitting down for a hungover Lions' game only to get blacked out. Balckouts are cruel.

Finally, want to hear a song with some pretty incredible lyrics about kicking the bucket?

The Ghosts On Iron Ref

Rupert "Sakai" Entwistle entered Kitcsch-en Stadium today to compete for the prestigious title of "Iron Ref" today over at Hugging Harold Reynolds. I'd rather win the title of "Iron Sheik," but I'll take what I can get. Istanbul wasn't built in a day.

The secret ingredient was "Fan Favorite" and my esteemed opponents were Sean Leahy from Going Five Hole and Spencer Kyte from I Blog Because I Can among other things.

More importantly, check out this sweet mustache in my bio.

Click HERE to see all of our creations and vote for whoever deserves to win.

Odd NFL Previews: The Average Fans Guide to the AFC South

Last, but certainly not least...it's the AFC South, which just happens to be the deepest division in the AFC. Well, nobody said it was the most interesting division, but oh well. Despite having three legit playoff teams and an up-n-coming team, it still just seems bland. Peyton Manning remains the resident kingpin and the Colts rule the land. The Jags look to build upon the foundation they've started and possibly overthrow the Colts. However, as always, just when you think you've got Petyon Manning and the Colts figured out...he/they prove you wrong.

So, how's it gonna shake down? Let's take a look...

1. Indianapolis Colts – “Cause, I gotta peaceful easy feeling.”

It’s been a long day and I do hate the fucking Eagles. However, it just seems like a typical theme for any Peyton Manning led team that is still just too damn good to be challenged in the AFC South. The Colts are entering a season of uncertainty to say the least. Manning himself is coming off a knee surgery and Marvin Harrison the same. Center Jeff Saturday is slated to miss anothe 4-6 weeks. Reggie Wayne is being touted to have another "bust-out" season, but really he's been a star for a while now. Hmm.

The Colts still have a calm about the organization that is surprising with all the question marks in their corner. Perhaps, that comes from the ever peaceful leader in Tony Dungy. Still though, one would have to wonder if the Colts have slipped slightly past their window of opportunity. There's still a boatload of talent to go around, but they are a year older and the Jags continue to gain ground. Logic says the Colts can only hold them off for so much longer. All won't be so peaceful in Indy if that happens, now will it?


2. Jacksonville Jags - "Many rivers to cross, but I can't seem to find my way over."

If last season was about respect for the Jags, then this season is all about the "next step." Are they truly ready to dethrone the Colts? It's not far from reason to think it's quite possible. The Jags went into to Pittsburgh last January and pulled out a win, impressive. The following week they hung around with the Patriots as best they could. Perhaps, last season was the ultimate measuring stick for this franchise. They are most likely playing for a Wild Card this season, but are amongst the elite of the AFC. Don't be fooled.

The defense is nasty as ever and the Jags are confident they've got a budding star and like able winner in David Garrard. The running game is one of the league's best, but it's the WR core that could very well hamper this team's chances or at least that's the knock. The Jags are resting their hopes with the old cliche "a year older, a year wiser." They feel they danced on the same stage with both the Colts and Patriots in the past, but are ready to steal the spotlight. Will the experience pay off? In the post-season...maybe, but in Weeks 1 through 16...NO.

3. Tennessee Titans – “Nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide.”

While it’s great to have a “winner” in Vince Young, the Titans need to wake up and realize he desperately needs somewhere to throw the damn ball. Ooooh, I almost forgot, they picked up Alge Crumpler in the off season. Maybe they can recreate that magic 2005 Atlanta Falcons offense that won the… er, never mind. The defense is underrated, but the Colts and Jags are both better teams, so don’t expect much from music city.

LenDale White has nowhere to run, but Taco Bell...cha-ching, cha-ching. Drum roll, thanks. Seriously though, the Titans are coming off a playoff run last season in which they at least kept things interesting with the Chargers. When you are looking up at the Colts and Jags, it's easy to become the forgotten man. However, don't, don't even think about falling completely asleep on the Titans. They are a well run machine, even if Vince Young can't throw down field to save his life.

4. Houston Texans - "You've gotta run like an antelope outta control."

No matter which way you slice it, Ahman Green, Chris Brown, Demetrius Walker, Steve Slaton, or Chris Taylor, this backfield looks like the inside of a bung canal. (Update: Walker and Brown - Done). One of these guys needs to step up and take this starting job and run with it. Were Ron Dayne and Samkon unavailable? Hmm, the thought here is that Gary Kubiak's offense should eventually produce a productive running back. However, thus far in Houston that hasn't been the case. It's time to bid farewell to Ahman Green and maybe drop Chris Brown to the third string. The safe money should be on Steve Slaton and/or Chris Taylor to emerge as "the" guy in this offense.

However, what that means for the overall fortunes of this team? Absolutely nothing...the division is just way too stacked for them to make up any ground.