Post Halloween Sale: Get Your Top Quality Detroit Lions Hallloween Costumes

If there is one benefit of the fanhood of a miserable sports franchise, it would have to be Halloween. When a team sucks to the colossal level that the Detroit Lions suck, the possibilities are endless. Not only do the legendary costume party appearances by Jon Kitna and Roy Williams provide some great laughs, but there are dozens more - many of which are very easy. So, here's a sampling of ideas, just in time for um, next year?

The Jason Hanson Rap Group - This is a group costume which involves the standard wigger gear of saggy pants, a cockeyed Lion baseball cap, preferably with the tag on it and some blue and silver animal stripes, and of course Jason Hanson jerseys. As a group, the team of Hanson's perform their hit single, "We Been Kickin' It For Years."

The Herman Moore Touchdown Catch - In an effort to teach Jim Colletto how to call plays for Calvin Johnson, this costume involves a complete Herman Moore uniform and his receiver gloves. The trick is you have to hold the football over your head all night just like Moore's trademark loft catches in the corner for the six.

Dorky Thanksgiving Fans - Sure the Lions on Thanksgiving is a November rite of passage for Lions fans (and knowing our luck, will be the one random miraculous win this year against the ridiculously good Titans that jips us of the first pick), but does getting on TV for a second really merit wearing a fucking turkey on your head. Have some self-respect folks.

The Daunte Culpepper - Just get some crutches and a ridiculously furry coat. Painting your face black is optional if you aren't already black, but as we learned in Soul Man, this is a risky proposition.

The Rod Marinelli - Pass out resumes for trick or treaters and say stuff like "Pound the Rock" and "Football is a show me game" repeatedly like you have Tourettes Syndrome.

The Millen Hater - Here's another easy one to stash away in the memory bank if you ever need a last minute costume. Just cut some eye holes in a bag and write "Fire Millen" on it with a Sharpie... Gone but never forgetten.

The Megatron - While I don't really support this dumb nickname for the Lion's best player Calvin Johnson, from a costume standpoint you could do worse. I presume this costume would involve a bunch of aluminum foil, a big cannon made from the tube of a roll of paper, and a number 81.

The Wooked-Out Joey Harrington - While a more conventional Harrington could be achieved by sawing off your bangs into a rigid straight line, I prefer the Harrington that looks like he was ready to throw in the towel on the Lions in favor of selling kynd veggie burritos on Phish tour.

The Wayne Fontes - We saved the best for last. This one is easy too. All you need are some Mickey Mouse ears and a Detroit Lions shirt.