Fast Cars and Loose Ends

Sorry for the weak ass effort this week folks. If there is one thing I hate about recessions, it's that it invariably means we have to work a lot harder. I guess it beats getting canned though, so we ain't complaining. Nevertheless, we'll try to devote more time the Ghosts of Dwayne Wayne next week.

For starters, we'll get your weekend started right with an old hit that I recently added to my iPod and immediately remembered why this was my anthem at age 16. You could have found me and my Gs rolling in the metallic gold Mazda 626 with a terrible exhaust problem, yet bumping the bass of this song at least 4 hours per day - typically with at least member of the vehicle with a whippet in his or her mouth (Ok, that's a lie, it was always a "his"). I'm pretty sure it was called "Ghetto Bastard" back thn though. I also decided based upon listening to this song, I plan to work the words "smooth it out" into conversation far more regularly.



In terms of the sports agenda for the weekend, the Suck Bowl II between the Wolverines and Irish blows everything else out of the water. I don't care if both teams blow, it sets the tone for the whole Big Ten football season. How long till Clausen gets benched in favor of Dayne Crist?

Obviously, the Ohio State versus Trojans game is number two. There are few things better than an excellent college football game that occurs on a Friday or Saturday night and this is one of them. It's amazing that TV programmers are still naive to the fact that despite the obvious facts that football fans like drinking and drinking is better on days when you don't have to work the following day, that this happens so infrequently. Didn't you learn the transitive property of equality. (i.e., God is light, light is good, hence God is good).

Speaking of God, how much you wanna bet the Lions come back and screw with everyone with a big time win this week? Oh wait, actually I forgot my wallet at home and the Lions are terrible. I am not buying the Kevin Smith stock yet and the defense just reeked up the place last week. I think I might not pay attention this year.

In other news, I'm going to the Jets versus Pats game on Sunday. This is my first time at the Meadowlands, despite living in the Crapple for about 5 years, so I'm pretty pumped with or without Tom Brady.

In stupid fantasy football news, I'm going against my better judgement and starting Anthony Piesano Fasano over Chris Cooley. Fasano looked pretty damn reliable and got a ton of looks last week and Cooley is nursing a pulled quad, so what the hell. For the record, I'm 0-3 so far this year, so don't listen to anything I say until further notice.

Alright, it's about time for me to hit the road, but before we go, there's... bad gambling advice.

Hammer East Carolina tonight. Hammer.

Love the Falcons +7 over Tampa

Brian Griese's Titans to the house +1 over Bungals

Colts +2 over Vikings - Too easy

Eagles +7 over Dallas

Jets -1 over Pats (go Cotchery!)