Quiz: Are You Simmons, Klosterman, Smith, or Reilly?

A life question if there ever was one, the following quiz will provide you an answer to the age-old head-scratcher, "Am I more like Bill Simmons, Chuck Klosterman, Stephen A. Smith, or Rick Reilly?"

1) What is your drug of choice?

A) Cocaine
B) Marijuana
B) Rogaine
D) Airtime

2) What would likely be your steed on a cross-country road trip?

A) An Escalade
B) A Taurus
C) A BMW
B) A Pony

3) Which of the following is your favorite snack?

A) Dunkin' Donuts
B) Olive Garden Breadsticks
C) C-Doods
D) Dripping Melted Cheese

4) Who would you most prefer to interview?

A) A gay one-legged single mother who follows the Toledo Mudhens very closely
B) I'd rather be interviewed
C) Rajon Rondo
D) Jeff Tweedy

5) Which of the following albums gets the most iPod mileage?

A) Exile on Main Street - the Rolling Stones
B) Ten - Pearl Jam
C) This Is How We Do It - Montel Jordan
D) Making Love - The Very Best of Air Supply

6) Obscure reference of choice?

A) Jorge Lugo
B) Queensryche
C) Ray Pruitt
D) Steve Harvey

7) Which of the following sects would you would most prefer to think highly of you?

A) Your Negroes
B) Hipster/Indie Crossover Sportsfans
C) Frat guys, Former Frat Guys, and Future Frat Guys - all of whom think sports are extremely important
D) Sensitive Moms

8) Which of the following do you find the least annoying?

A) Ironic use of a word you previously ridiculed (i.e., trenchant)
B) Abbreviations of phrases you previously ridiculed (i.e. TUP for tremendous upside potential)
C) Food Metaphors (hold on one second, hahahahahhhahahaha. K, sorry)
D) Using the third person in reference to oneself

9) Who do you like (or in some instances, think you would have liked) the most of the following athletes?

A) Larry Bird
B) Roger Staubach
C) Allen Iverson
D) Lance Armstong

10) What is your favorite song about rain (Yes, I am running on fumes here, but I like an even 10 questions)?

A) Thunderstruck - AC/DC
B) I Wish It Would Rain - Bryan McKnight
C) I Love a Rainy Night - Eddie Rabbit
D) Blame It on the Rain - Milli Vanilli

Scoring:

1) A: 1, B: 3, C: 9, D: 6
2) A: 6, B: 3, C: 1, D: 9
3) A: 1, B: 3, C: 6, D: 9
4) A: 9, B: 6, C: 1, D: 3
5) A: 3, B: 1, C: 6, D: 9
6) A: 9, B: 3, C: 1, D: 6
7) A: 6, B: 3, C: 1, D: 9
8) A: 3, B: 1, C: 9, D: 6
9) A: 1, B: 3, C: 6, D: 9
10) A: 1, B: 6, C: 3, D: 9

Tallying the Results:

Add up your total score:

1-19: You are Bill Simmons
20-42: You are Chuck Klosterman
43-59: You are Stephen A. Smith
60+: You are Rick Reilly

If for some reason you are curious, I score a solid Klosterman, but I suppose that is by design since I made up the questions. Bye.