Disclaimer: Brandon Hansen is a Seahawks fan, which means he still wakes up in a cold sweat some nights after horrible nightmares of Super Bowl XL. Sometimes his friends find him huddled up in a corner poking pins in his Big Ben voodoo doll chanting "Stuffed at the goaline, Ben". Doctors have diagnosed this as "Seahawkfanscantletthingsdietis" and it's afflicting roughly 80 percent of football fans in the Pacific Northwest.
Most NFL fans are likable, high-cholesterol people who just shelled out 80 dollars for a nosebleed seat and have some normal command of proper human hygiene and social skills.
But not Pittsburgh Steeler fans.
The league is facing a problem of unimaginable proportions, as Steeler fans pop up everywhere from Florida to Quebec, Canada (the French do love their football, as long as they can Lattegate before the game), bringing their terrible towels to every game that Pittsburgh plays.
Forget Yankee fans, if there's ever a band-wagoning fanbase in sports, its the Pittburgh Steelers. It's got to be real tough for fans to struggle through those five Super Bowl championships and what could be the most dominant team for an entire decade in professional football (The 1970s Steelers). Long-suffering, let me tell you, you've got to be a real trooper to stick with this team.
And when you're not from Pittsburgh and decided to start supporting the team at the ripe age of 32, well... you can go to hell.
NFL ticket offices must know when the Steeler are coming to town when they start seeing an influx of moustached, burly looking men (and women) with mullets that would make McGyver proud. It's a sort of traveling home field advantage, not because the people of Pittsburgh are airplane savvy (they'd probably have to buy two seats a piece) but for the simple fact that the most annoying people all over our country want to be Steeler fans.
You can see the real sad ones, the ones that just dropped down $400 for the window screen of the Pittsburgh logo on the back of their 82' Ford Fiesta.
And when they're not down at the local sports bar downing a couple pitchers of Milwaukee's Best or writing poems about the greatness of Roethlisberger, they're annoying the hell out of all the other fans in the NFL.
Do you know any Cleveland Browns fanatics that say they've been fans all their life and it the same sentence say they love the team because it has a "cute" helmet?
(Although the Browns might be a bad example because, their helmet looks like poop. But they usually play like crap, so it's fitting.)
While there are some knowledgeable (read: old) Steeler fans that know the history of their team, most people around the country jumping on the Pittsburgh bandwagon couldn't tell you who Terry Bradshaw or Franco Harris is. But, by god, they have their terrible towel.
Now ever since Super Bowl XL, Seahawk fans and Pittsburgh fans have not gotten along. Now the hatred is mostly coming from the Seattle side of things, because we're obsessive (and stoned) like that.
But I mean, look who we have to listen to gloat about their Super Bowl victory... seriously.
When a guy - who doesn't really even follow sports picks the Steelers to support for no other reason than he didn't want to be called a pussy by his friends - starts jawing with Seahawk fans, he's got some serious problems. We're going to boot him quicker than Kordell Stewart on an Arena Football practice squad.
Unlike most Steeler fans, who usually decide to become Steeler fans because they like the team colors, watched a Pittsburgh game at an airport, or have a mustache (roughly 98 percent of Steeler fans have mustaches), Seahawk fans were brewed from an early age as parents forced their kids to watch some really atrocious Seattle teams in the early 90s. It was torture, seriously, I have scars from beating the remote control on my head.
So this sort of Pittsburgh band-wagoning really gets under our skin.
When you have (a) no geographical ties, (b) didn't follow the team from a young age, and (c) know minimal knowledge amount about the team that you're rooting for, you're not a fan, you're a douche bag.
And I think I just described most of Steeler nation outside of Pittsburgh.
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13 comments:
What's wrong Brendan, did someone spit in your Starbucks Latte this morning. Go back to tree hugging and quit trying to talk football, clown. Don't you have Sierra Club meeting scheduled for tonight?
You just described Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox Nation.
Similar diseases such as "JackieSmithshouldhavecaughtthe ball", "Renfrowasinbounds", and "Damnthesteelersaregood" generally cleared up after several weeks of heavy drinking and the sun eventually coming up. The fact that we still see the symptoms of "Seahawkfanscantletthingsdietis" after two years is distressing.
Have you already forgotten how obnoxious the Broncos bandwagoners were? Are you old enough to remember how utterly annoying the 49ers bandwagoners were? And let's not forget Raiders fans.
While in Oakland, I had a roommate all-out assault some punk on a street corner decked out in Raiders gear. The kid couldn't name the starting QB. Didn't know who John Madden was.
And whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, the Seattle bandwagoners (yes, there were a few) weren't any better - and in fact were more pretentious than most fans.
Every team, when they experience some success, will have the bandwagoners. This is definitely not specific to Pittsburgh or the Steelers.
You're probably not used to it, coming from a town cursed by the pro sports gods. I mean, I lived there for ten years and remember Peyton/Kemp breaking our hearts; and A-Rod and the Big Unit coming oh-so-close-but-just-not-close-enough; and I was routinely my boss' cheap date on Sundays to the Kingdome since nobody else wanted to watch guys like Krieg or Mirer.
Quite honestly, the Seattle Seahawks and their fans have a whole lot more important issues to worry about than the Steelers. And scream at the refs for poor officiating, not the other team or their fans. Puhleeze.
Actually, dumbass, you see Steelers fans everywhere because when the mills closed and everyone left town a few decades back, they took their team with them. Since then, their children and grandchildren have inherited their Steeler fandom. It's these younger fans that typically start to let it show once the team is on a run. They may have been fans all along, but they didn't wear the jersey, wave the towel, etc.
As far as the "98% have moustaches" comment- that's just laughable. Sure, Pittsburgh was a Steel town years ago (hence the name), but it's now a bio-tech and white collar Mecca. In the 25-34age group, in fact, Pittsburgh has the 4th highest % of Master's degrees in the U.S., behind just DC, SF, and Boston...no Seattle to be found.
you think you have it bad? i live in stiller nation and it sucks.
the jersey thing...it's like high school when the jocks would wear theirs in school on friday before the game.only these dopes are fat and stupid.wal-mart bitches that don't know a td from a rbi.
"oh i wear my TROY jersey" b.f.deal!does he supply you with part of his contract? worst of all,the day before,day of and day after,all you see on the local news is steelers,steelers,steelers.there could be 3 murders,a bombing and snowstorm in pittsburgh,but first let's get to that steelers coverage. it's exploitation of the mentally ill. get a life yinzers!
slit your fucking wrist and stop bitching about my steelers. ive been a steelers fan for twenty years. ALL MY LIFE! I am from Texas, My father is from Pittsburgh, so it was a spread fanbase. so get on your cock sucking knees and suck my steeler dick you bitch!
I'm a Steelers fan and I can admit that Steelers fans are sooooo fucking bandwagon it's sickening, half the people that watch the Steelers dont know a thing and just think Hines Ward is cute and they want to be a part of the crowd, give me a god damn break. I just wanna punch people in the face when they say, "did you see the game yesterday against the Browns?" Willie Parker is the best running back ive seen in a while. Jesus fuck, terry schiavo could run against the browns, he does NOTHING against the top half defenses, can't block, is dumb as a brick, has zero balance or strength as he gets arm tackled allll the time..seriously people invest your mind into the game if you want to be a fan, just dont say "the steelers are soo good, ya" like a fuckin retard..
Poor Sea Chicken fan your 12th man (horrible rip-off from Texas A&M, but you knew that... didn't you?) Steeler fans are everywhere, we take over stadiums win or lose, we are truly STEELER NATION! deal with it, or don't, keep rooting for the smoke blue and neon green! Oh, and hope that you don't get relegated to the CFL, you've already been deemed un-AFC worthy!
My favorite is how angry they get (see Steelers posts above), Oh, and another thing, fans that call the team "The Stillers" annoy the shit outta me.
Anytime you insult a Steeler fan, they instantly come back with an insult about your team, never rebutting your comment,
eg: Me: "Roethlesberger shouldn't be in there, when he's in they don't play like a team at all, its the QB show, not the whole team. "
Steelers fan: "Shut up, you like the effing Bills, they suck.
Me: "Did you know he had the most sacks this season?"
Steelers fan: "Did you know that Bills lost 4 Super Bowls?"
lol, anyways, I LOVE the post. Sorry to hear about your Seahawks.
I love how we get reamed for "not letting it go" and yet, when we bring it up, Stealer fans seriously come out of the woodwork crying and screaming "Crybabies!"
A little defensive. I know when I'm clearly in the right, I tend to ignore people who keep the same talking point for years.
A little unsure of Big Ben's ability to not suck? At least you have Jeff Reed coming in at 5th QB.
Go Steelers!
If you have ever been to Pittsburgh you would understand, it's not a bandwagon its passed down generation to generation. My girl is from Seattle and even she is amazed by the love the fans have for their team, this is something she has never seen when growing up in Seahawk territory.
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