As you may have seen on this very space about a year ago; we ran our own little bracket challenge of "Hot Chicks." Yes, I know...real fucking original and quick to the punchline. Yet, still we felt no blog would be official without an attempt to come up with a witty riff on the Field of 64. And if you know us well enough or read us on a regular basis, we never tend to do things the conventional way. Long story short, we got ahead of ourselves and tried to chart out a field of 64 and actually vote on it.
Disaster averted, we're opted to move on to a much briefer - and hopefully better - version of whoring out of T&A this year. I'm not sure how late we are with this year's bracket of sexiness, but who cares? Besides, this isn't your run of the mill...usual suspects. Nope, you'll certainly be surprised by our bracket of 1980's film vixens...I hope. Anyhow, just hang with me on this one. As always we urge all opinions and hatred to be expressed collectively amongst our readers as well. Therefore, your feedback is once again greatly encouraged in the comments section below.
Without any further foreplay; the Ladies of the 80's...
#1 - Linda Barrett (better known as Phoebe Cates) - Fast Times At Ridgemont High: Is there really any reason to look further into the brackets? The scene needs little refresher, as I feel for you if it's not embedded in your brain. Who could fault Brad Hamilton? We've all had "Hamilton" like thoughts...or, um activities when it comes to that scene. And that's why it'd be damn impossible for Phoebes to not enter this bracket as the clear cut favorite. See exhibit A, to your left as further evidence.
Vs.
#16 Bill's mom (a.k.a Missy Preston) - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure: You do know a #16 has never toppled a top seed, right? I say fuck that shit. Bill's mom flies so far under the radar she's almost moth-like. Lookout though Phoebe, she has it goin' on, so don't look past the first round. Just because Bill's mom was a peripheral character with minimal camera time, doesn't mean she is not a threat to go all the way.
# 8 - Andy Carmichael - Goonies: You were born without a penis if you weren't captivated by adorable Andy back in the day. She had all the makings of the good natured, down-to-earth and highly attainable girl. Least, you remember her role in "Lucas"? A remarkable sweetheart of the 80's. Although, her one drawback was her attraction to midgets; Sean Austin and Corey Haim. Oh, well.
Vs.
#9 - Betty Childs - Revenge of the Nerds: Who says the committee doesn't look for "intriguing" match-ups. Ms. Childs may have fell in love with a nerd, but let's get things straight...she was a bitch. She dated fucking Stan Gable and probably slept with half the Alpha Betas. Let's not forget her sabotaging Gilbert and Lewis into getting shit hazed by Gable and his cronies. This is your typical good girl vs. bad girl match-up...in a battle to the death.
#4 - Ali Mills - Karate Kid: Another one of those All-American girls, innocent, nice and sweet. I know; I sound like pervert, but you have to understand the relevance these ladies played in my life. Am I wrong? Who didn't dream of learning Karate and ending up with the super-hot chick that our enemy wanted just as bad. OK, I dreamt to much as a kid. You may also remember this fine lady from the hit "Adventures in Babysitting." Or I could've just said Elizabeth Shue. Either way.
Vs.
#13 - Pam House - Summer School: ***Sleeper Alert*** This beauty is by far the "under the radar" cutie who took part in several 80's flicks and later moved onto to be a regular star on what we'd call scripted TV shows. Yet, I'm pointing out her role in "Summer School" for purposes of this here bracket. She might not have the flash, but she's still got the talent. Hence, the mid-major nod.
#12 Dottie - Pee Wee's Big Adventure: Look, I was like 8 years old when a lot of these movies came out; weird tastes. At first, I expected this #5 vs. #12 to be a total blowout in favor of Mancini, but Dottie has actually aged quite well in a bloated collagen, bang some bikers kinda way.
#6 Lisa (a.k.a Kelly LeBrock) Weird Science - Um, if I were to create the "perfect" woman it would be Kelly LeBrock circa 1985. WOW! Gary and Wyatt created something special. Everyone wanted a piece and she's gotta have a chip on her shoulder for being seeded so low. It was tough for me to slide Kelly so low in the bracket. I mean afterall the first "bush" I ever saw was her's in "Woman in Red." 'Twas then I discovered masturbation.
Vs.
#11 -The Girl in the Ferrari (a.k.a Christie Brinkley) - Vacation: Oh! Christie, you were my first love. Those flowing white robe dresses or whatever those were, made me crazy. To this day, every time I see a 1980 Red Ferarri on the freeway while listening to my favorite song, Little Boy Sweet... I think of you. So, needless to say; I haven't thought of you in a while and when I finally see that Red Ferarri...I'm let down when I glance over and it's Steve Sanders behind the wheel.
#3 - Lacey Underall - Caddyshack: Writing a clip here could do her very little justice. "Madonna with Meatballs." Enough said. You know her very well, I hope. This is her "chance" to shine in the brackets. Ever since she seduced Ty Webb, it's been a slippery slope. It's a shame she didn't take over like many predicted after hoggin' the love in Caddyshack. Well, at least she's got the Ghosts"re-wind" to restore some pride.Vs.
#14 - Sloan Peterson - Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Another one of those dark horses in the bracket. She really doesn't bring a "lot" to the table and considering her competition...it could be a "one-and-done" scenario. However, never underestimate the craftiness of Sloan. Consider how she was able to play off the possible family death and sneak it by Ed Rooney, simply to enjoy the day of her life with Ferris? She's crafty. ******************************************** 
#7 - Claire Standish - Breakfast Club: Yup, it would've been easy toss around any Molly Ringwald character, but I chose the esteemed Claire. She was a touch of a prude, but still a tad more likeable than Sam in "Sixteen Candles" and a shade more mysterious than Andie in "Pretty in Pink." Quite honestly, it would've been a damn shame if there was an 80's ladies bracket without some form of Molly.
Vs.
#10 - Beth - Better Off Dead: "Gee, Layne I happened to notice you weren't dating Beth anymore and I was wondering...yada, yada, yada." If everybody in Greendale wanted her, figure it out. She holds the dear privilege of making this bracket not only for her esteemed role in "Better Off Dead", but for all her contributions to 80's films. Need I remind you she is the first person EVER to be OFFICIALLY murdered by Freddy Kreuger in a dream sequence. Not bad, not bad at all. Where was I? Oh yeah, seriously...how could she choose Stalin?
#2 - Star (a.k.a Jamie Gertz) - Lost Boys: When it comes to being mysteriously sexy, Star takes the cake. I mean seriously, what the hell was Michael thinking when he went after the mysterious chick who happened to hang out with Vampires? Oh well, Star is going to give anybody a run in this tournament, based on her sexiness alone and not because of who she hangs out with.Vs.
#15 Gail Stanwyk - Fletch: In the #15 seed, Gail Stanwyk is probably not the prettiest girl at the dance or the most well-endowed, but she is one of the characters that grows on you. Perhaps it's the thought of sneaking around with her in that secret little cabana at the club eating steak sandwiches together. She definitely has a mature allure that roped many in at an early age and continues to seduce us all on TNT on a near-weekly basis. While, she will have a tough time getting out of the first round, Stanwyk is certainly a veritable force from the mid-majors.Round 2 and round 3 are both up and running. You can check 'em out by clicking right here or right here, respectively.
30 comments:
Nice, Gail Stanwyck is positioning for a #15 upset.
How on EARTH you missed Rebecca DeMornay in Risky Business, who is at worst a #3 seed, is beyond me!
We had to nix a bunch of good ones actually. The initial list included all these, but it gets really unwieldy with all the polls and shit when you start adding a lot (see hot blogger bracket). You're right though, DeMornay is a big oversight.
Pam from Teen Wolf
Chris Parker- Adventures in Babysitting
The chick in bloodsport
The sprightly ballet dancer in breakin 2: electric bugaloo
Rebecca Demornay - the hooker in Risky Bunsinmess
Susan Sarandon - Bull Durham
Jennifer Connelley - Career Opportunities ( possible #1 seed)
Mercedes Lane - License to Drive (Heather Graham)
Shannon Tweed - Hot Dog... the movie
Buttercup - princess bride
Laurie Laughlin - rad
Tough work here, but I think you need to start by replacing Beth from Better Off Dead with Mercedes from License to Drive, and replacing Cindy Mancini from Can't Buy Me Love with Stacy Hamilton (another Fast Times contender). Here's to Lacey winning it all!
Don't forget that Gail also had a nice body in the tennis outfit as well as a towel scene.
Is everyone crazy?
There is no way possible Star loses...what is wrong with all of you. I can't believe this.
Talk about a powerhouse match-up (Brinkley circa 1980 vs. LeBrock circa 1985).
well done fellas...great post
Do you discriminate against cartoons?
Here is a post with 7 of the best if you need to think it out.
http://cuzoogle.com/2007/08/13/the-seven-hottest-women-of-80s-movies/
Buttercup from Princess Bride!
How about the girl in "Dream a Little Dream"???
How anyone can leave anything that Kelly Preston did off of this list is a travesty. Mischief??? Secret Admirer????
You can't have this list without Kelly Preston from Secret Admirer and What's her face (with the great breasts) from Just One of the Guys.
Not that it matters. Phoebe Cates wins going away no matter what.
TM
What about Lori Singer from Footloose fame? Those long legs would kick some butt!
Give me Chris Parker any day of the week. I put anything with Elisabeth Shue on my Netflix just because of that movie. I wished everyday for a babysitter like her. Still do...
This list is incomplete.
How can you forget Meredith Salenger from the movie" Dream a Little Dream"?
The #3 seed must take it all. Lacey Underall (even the name is sexy) is by far the hottest on the list.
Holy shit! I can't believe Dottie was on here! When I read the description before I clicked on the link I thought, Dottie should be on there, almost like a joke, as I knew she couldn't possibly be on the list, no matter how I thought she deserved it. And then, pow... 12th seed. I just wanted to give the makers of this list big-time props for digging deep and preaching it like it is.
Elizabeth Shue wins hands down, though. Where does Daniel get the balls to play hard to get in that movie? He was so outclassed, it was sad for Ali. Every time I see it, I find myself verbalizing aloud, "Nail her, goddammit, and nail her now before she comes to her senses and gets busy with one of the Cobras."
What about Eloise Broady who played Tawny in Weekend at Bernies? I mean, come on, the name Tawny is the quintisential hot slutty 80's chick name.
2 things:
1) Pity poor Dottie, because EG Daly (a very good musician actually) ended up married for a while to Rick Solomon, the weasel who put out the tape of himself screwing Paris Hilton and the same weasel who married and is in the process of being divorced by Pam Anderson.
2) HOW could you leave out Deborah Foreman, who rates inclusion either through Valley Girl or Real Genius????
Lacey Underall is going to win it all. "bullfights on acid"
Demi Moore, About Last Night...
How could Linda Fiorentino be left off this list. She played Carla in the movie Vision Quest. She was very hot in that movie.
Wheres the chick from teen wolf..
Where's Mrs. Gretzky? Matt Dillon's dream girl from Pink Flamingo's. Also, The Sure Thing with a young perky Nicollette Sheridan in a hot white bikini.
Dude you are ALL forgetting the day i learned to masturbate: Princess Leia in Jedi. Holy shit was she hot. Hot + bondage gets you out of the 1st round for sure. And Jennifer Jason Leigh from Fast Times is a no-brainer. My super sleeper would be Colleen Camp as Yvette from Clue(1985).
Oh yeah, and what about Jessica Rabbit? Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
As far as those left off, yes there were some VERY heavy hitters left out. However, none of them can (IMHO) come anywhere near Caroline Mulford from Sixteen Candles. That being said, Linda Barrett absolutely RULES this catagory and should win the whole thing in a landslide. I would take her against the ENTIRE field (including those that have been left out) any day of the week.
Not bad but that chick from Youngblood deserved an at large bid...if only for her ass
Post a Comment