The Holiday Season is now upon us and for those of you engulfed with the “holiday spirit”, I say cheers to keeping it to yourselves. Deck the halls with balls of folly, fa-la-la-la---FUCK!!! Thankfully, I don’t work in a large office where every “who” in "Whoville" is bopping around to the Christmas spirit and playing “Jingle Bell Rock” on a loop. However, I was in “Golfsmith” the other night picking up my “5” iron that I wrapped around a telephone pole (completely other story) and it was just gay and merry with Christmas cheer pumping out of the sound system.
Thankfully, I don’t work in retail or I’d be forced to pull a Private Pile in the bathroom on my 15-minute morning break. Look, I’m no “Scrooge” I just think there is a time and place to get giddy about Christmas and that’s for about a two-to-three day window…tops. Christmas Carols in November…just ain’t right. And so, hopefully my little rant knocked your “spirit” down just a peg.
Moving on, let’s tie up some “loose ends” before we depart for a happy hour drink or ten. I’ll be venturing out to the desert for a weekend of golf with cold booze and warm friends. The capper to the weekend will be the Browns/Cardinals game in Glendale on Sunday afternoon. Note: I’m traveling with rabid Browns fans, so things could get interesting. Oh wait, do they even care about Sports in Phoenix? Go figure, it hasn’t rained in almost 5 months out there and this weekend the forecast is calling for a storm. Fuck me sideways.
What else is really newsworthy these days? The Red Sox and Yankees are battling it out in a “cock-off” to obtain the rights to pay Johan Santana $25 Million for the next 6 years. And people wonder what’s wrong with Baseball? The infamous Mark Prior is on the trading block and so far the best offer is a carton of Marlboro Mediums and a $25 Walgreens gift card.
And I have to mention the Sean Taylor story, real quick. This is a really sad story that is getting somewhat skewered by “some” media outlets. Let the man rest in peace, who gives two shits about his past. Proper link nod to MBSR for a good piece on Taylor this week. Moment of silence for Sean Taylor.
(Long Pause)
Moving right along, it’s been a while, but put on your learning cap, because we’re going to talk Strategic Gambling 101. If there’s one thing I am ALWAYS giddy about…it’s gambling. I know it sounds like a problem, but it’s really not. For me, gambling is lot like a slice of Pizza at 3 AM. Do I really need that slice of Pizza? Am I really that hungry? No and no, but it sure tastes fucking good. And for me that’s gambling in a nutshell, I do it for the taste.
You see logging into Sportsbook.com (that’s a plug) is a lot like going to “Best Buy.” It’s vital to have a game plan for either event. At Best Buy I’ve got to have my thoughts aligned with my needs…or it’s trouble. I’ll end up browsing the entire store, playing a 12-year-old kid in a game of Madden and eventually walking out of the store with a $5.99 double DVD Pauley Shore feature package of “Son-n-Law” and “Encino Man.”
It’s an impulse buy much less than a need. And that’s what tends to happen when I’m Sportsbook.com (I don’t get anything for the plug). If I don’t have a game plan, forget about it…I’m logging off with $50 on a 15-team parlay (I have no chance to win) that pays $50k and “will Tom Brady throw 8 TD’s” at +1000. This usually leads to a Sunday night anxiety attack, coupled with a headache.
No matter how perfectly you plan around it, the perfect “parlay” in the NFL is hard to come by. Maybe your luck is better than mine, but I’ve been down this road many-a-time. The only thing I can imagine to be more humbling and sobering than a beautiful parlay going up in flames would be Joey Greco from “Cheaters” holding up a tiny video monitor showing your girlfriend getting into some dudes “Chevy Cavalier” and saying “I think you can tell where it’s going from here.”
So what does that all mean? I guess it means have a plan, stick to that plan and be patient. There really isn’t some formulaic method to gambling, you are going to eventually lose or vice versa, you'll win. If you stick to logical, patient wagering you can save yourself from having ulcers, panic attacks and/or resembling Vincent Gallo in “Buffalo 66.” And that was hardly an endorsing PSA to promote gambling awareness and that’s enough of dragging out the inevitable. Here are the tickets to Gambling stardom, use wisely.
WASHINGTON (-6) over Buffalo
I’ll make this one simple, EMOTIONAL GAME for the Redskins. Figure the rest out.
MINNESOTA (-3) over Detroit
The return of Purple Divinity (I like that name better than Purple Jesus) and a slumping Lions team should equate to a Vikings “W.” Say, aren’t the Vikings one Donovan McNabb and a veteran WR away from being contenders? I say…YES.
Jacksonville (+7) over INDIANAPOLIS
The Jags are need of a franchise or an era defining win. Are they ready to piss with the big boys? I think so.
MIAMI (-1) over N.Y Jets
Get out the hammer.
San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY
Get out the hammer and nails.
PHILADELPHIA (-3) over Seattle
An A.J Feely win means another gallon of gas has been pumped into the “Ride McNabb out of Philly” bandwagon. Yeah, good luck with that Iggles fans. I hope you enjoy a 3-13 campaign next year, while McNabb is leading Minnesota or Chicago to the Super Bowl.
ARIZONA (PK) over Cleveland
I think the Browns are WAAAAAY better than this, but it just feels like a trap game. And I know this will piss off my Cleveland pals, who may be reading.
Denver (-3.5) over OAKLAND
Get out the hammer, nails and wood.
CHICAGO (-2) over N.Y Giants
Eli vs. Rex, a Fantasy Footballers wet dream.
Cincinnati (+7.5) over PITTSBURGH
Trust me.
BALTIMORE (+20) over New England
Nobody is deserving of being a 20 point dog at home…NOBODY. Kiss my ass and give me the points…prick.
Make it a GREEAT weekend.
Friday, November 30, 2007
The Holiday Loose Ends and Wagering Edition
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Basketball Bullets: The ACC Owns 'Yo Ass
The annual "Big 10/ACC" Challenge came to a screeching halt on Wednesday night. In total the ACC, yet again mopped the court with the Big 10 winning the Challenge in a convincing fashion. The final win by Penn State was tacked on long after the damage was done. However, lost in the shuffle it should be mentioned that Michigan State and Indiana (if anything), separated themselves from the rest of the Big 10 as the teams to beat. And as usual, Duke and North Carolina each staked their claim as the front runners in the ACC.
So, what did we really learn from the whole affair? That the 5th place team in the ACC is better than the 5th or 6th place team in the Big 10? Hmmm, that's quite possibly it, isn't it? No, what we learned is that from top to bottom, the Big 10 just simply can't stack up against the ACC. However, had we seen Michigan State vs. Duke or Indiana vs. North Carolina? Now, we'd be talking about a ballgame.
For the record, North Carolina practically toyed with Ohio State a bit too long tonight. However, was the game ever really in doubt? I'd have to say not. Playing without their PG (which basically is the core of a college hoops team), Carolina hammered out a win on the road. Of course, you'll probably hear Ohio State fans barking that they "just didn't shoot well." Um, sure...whatever. North Carolina cranked up the defense in the 2nd half. And had they been able to convert free throws or hit a bucket during a specific stretch themselves...the Buckeyes get dumped at home by 20.
Moving on, what remains to be seen is the direction this Challenge goes. Does it really matter all that much in November? Sure, the Big 10 gets pooped on, but the top teams in the Big 10 always seem to surface in March. Well, that's all I got on a lackluster showing, but here's to wishing we could've seen the big dogs go head up.
#26 - The Beatles "The White Album"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
The Beatles- The White Album
"When I hold you in my arms. And I feel my finger on your trigger, I know nobody can do me no harm. Because happiness is a warm gun. Happiness is a warm gun-Yes it is."
Overview- The White Album helped to smooth the dramatic transformation The Beatles were undergoing during the mid-60s. Released following the critically acclaimed Sgt. Pepper album, The White Album displays a raw spiritual energy that many still try endlessly to emulate. The majority of this album was written while The Beatles explored their inner light in India under the direction of a later-debunked spiritual guru. What came out of the month long retreat was some of the rawest, sincerest and most sober of any Beatles album. During their hiatus from Western society, The Beatles all remained substance free for perhaps one of the only stints during their decade long rein at the top of the charts.
Key Musical Highlight- The Beatles were always pushing the envelope under the direction of John Lennon, and the song "Dear Prudence" represents some of the first attempts to use guitar plucking as the guitar riff in a rock song. The crescendo in this song is fabulous. "While My Guitar Gently Weeps," also features then-friend Eric Clapton on guitar solo, bringing the guitar to tears during several breaks. "Blackbird" remains one of the most sincere acoustic songs to date, and was penned for the African-American victims of the violent civil rights riots making world headlines at the time. Also "Good Night" features Ringo's best vocals, and and an amazing score written by producer-whiz Sir George Martin.
When & Where to Listen- In your apartment alone at night. This album can be played front to back and then again. It is a timeless piece that continues to gain artistic merit as more and more music artist attempt to mimic its low-key creative genius. This album unofficially created later "Unplugged" sessions, just take one listen to "Revolution" on this album and you will understand.
Why Should You Own This Album- This album represents a first in so many areas that it must be studied to understand its brilliance. It was the first major studio double-album which, at the time, was a record-label no-no. However, owning their own recording company Apple, The Beatles were allowed to defy conventional wisdom. The simple album design, clad in white, with no discernible title other than "The Beatles", also set the stage for many future artist to copy.
Lasting Impressions- While many of us may not be fortunate enough to leave behind tangible effects of our work-product, this album shines of creative genius still to this day. It was made near the apex of their fame, and yet is a low key album. You can hear The Beatles each start to split away from each other on their own tracks. Lennon was writing heavier, introspective songs, while McCartney stayed fast to his singular love songs. Yet, the album could not be made without each of them there to help, encourage and critique each other till the end. The White Album continues to make an indelible impression on generation after generation of song writers.
Overall- Listen to this album to find inspiration and direction.
One Timers: November 28, 2007
Editor's Note: One Timers is a GoWF feature where we rap about the random odds and ends on our minds. Feel free to stick around and chat with us in the comments if you feel like hangin out.
First and foremost, I'd like to thank Mother Nature and the Miami Dolphins for bailing me out this week in a hard fought fantasy victory this past. I had an 18 point lead that I needed to solidify my playoff berth going up against Roethlisberger and Fast Willie. I owe you one Ma, because now I can sit back and wait for the cash to roll in as I coast on to another championship.
Next up, do you remember what the Patriots sacrificed to get Randy Moss and his 16 touchdown receptions this season? Well, let me just remind all the other absolutely god damn brain dead idiot front offices in the NFL. Yep, that's right. They traded a fourth round draft pick. In other words, the Patriots got Randy Moss for University of Cincinnati cornerback John Bowie. Good thing the Raiders nabbed Mike Williams on the cheap though to pave the way for the Moss deal, because otherwise they wouldn’t have any future Hall of Fame receivers to carry that potent offense. So it goes.
Well, the talk of the utter worthlessness of the BCS is back in full effect. Surprisingly, an article in USA Today this morning is citing potential issues with interest levels of the possible match-up between West Virginia and Missouri due to the lack of star power and known talents on either team. Alright, I’ll give you the fact that Chase Daniel is a newer member to the Heisman race and not a lot of average fans have heard of him, but who the hell doesn’t know that West Virginia has two of the most explosive (arguably three if you count young Noel Devine) players in college football in Pat White and Steve Slaton. Most people had them pegged as dual Heisman hopefuls since the preseason as well as national championship contenders. What they meant to say in that article is that the national championship matchup doesn’t include a media darling team like Florida, Michigan, Ohio State, USC, Texas, etc. So it goes.
Who do I want to win the NCAA title? Take a deep breath. I’ll take Ohio State all day. I do not necessarily think they are one of the best two teams in the country, but should they make it to the dance, I will pull for the Big Ten. It’s plain annoying having the Big Ten become an embarrassment in both football and basketball. A lot of fans subscribe to the theory that you should never, under any circumstances, root for your rivals to win in any game. Not me. If a Big Ten team has a title shot, you better believe I will root for them over the SEC, ACC, PAC 10, or whoever else is the conference du jour.
With February approaching, things are getting nervy around here as the writer’s strike could potentially affect season 4 of Lost. Reportedly, there are 6 episodes recorded and one more full script ready to go, but beyond that, it’s up in there air. Quite frankly, I am all for the writer’s holding out until they get what they deserve, which doesn’t seem like a huge sacrifice to the studios, but I don’t know what I’ll do if this season gets delayed a long time. The thing about Lost resuming in February is it fills a huge depression filled abyss that is the end of football season. Lost keeps me going through the winter these days. Without it, I might die. So it goes.
The last topic today is a corporate nemesis to us all, Wal-Mart. Surely, Wal-Mart is overdue for its own post in the form of one of our rants called “We Question Your Motivation,” but I haven’t gotten around to it. Anyway, surely you have all heard how they screw their employees with benefits and low wages and completely obliterate the mom and pop small retail business, but today I have a more specific grievance to air. They drove Vlassic Pickles to bankruptcy by refusing to sell the products at a profitable price. I happen to like eating pickles you bastards. This happened a while ago, but it just came up in conversation and it was on my mind. We get the point Wal-Mart, you want to have low prices so no other stores can compete with you. Does that mean you need to drive your suppliers into bankruptcy and force them to charge unprofitably low margins? No. Plus, they drove Toy R Us to the brink causing them to sell to KKR, a private equity powerhouse. Toys R Us happened to be the greatest place in the world for a good part of our lives. You’re messing with the bull. You kill the suppliers. You kill local small business. You kill the experience of shopping. I think I’ll just pay 50 cents more somewhere else.
OK, last one I swear. I just read this article by Vince Gennaro about valuing the worth of A-Rod and star players' value in general and it's quite fascinating, but I probably do enjoy a good net present value calculation more than the average sports fan.
#57 - Curtis Mayfield "There's No Place Like America Today"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
Curtis Mayfield - There's No Place Like America Today
“Too bad about him. Too sad about him.”
Overview – An album to live and learn by? Well, Curtis Mayfield always seemed to transcend in his ways about the world through his music. This album picks up where the funky shit left off from “Superfly”, but also embarks on a soulful journey that only Curtis Mayfield could navigate. The album isn’t one that reaches right out and grabs you. It’s the subtle nuances and delicacy of Mayfield’s voice and the music that drive the album.
Key Musical Highlight: “So in Love” or “Billy Jack.” Go ahead, flip a coin and you can’t go wrong. For this piece, I’m going with “Billy Jack” just for the wholesome funk that Curtis is so sound at delivering.
When and where to Listen: It’s the essence of chill, maybe for that special moment? No, seriously Curtis Mayfield is a soundtrack for any occasion. An album like this might not captivate the audience in every situation, but it lends curiosity to the listener willing to give it a chance. That said, I’d say it is what is and that’s a chill yourself out effort that’s most comforting with a nice Pinot Noir, while you mellow out and smoke a big fat ---
Why you should own this album? That question seems so subjective. As mentioned, it’s a phenomenal piece of work. However, if the relaxing soul/early R&B sound isn’t something of your desire or fancy, you’ll probably find the album dry. Again, it’s just a difference of understandable opinion. Then again, if what I just said in the previous few sentences need not apply to you…then why would you not own this album?
Lasting Impression: The lyrics. There’s never a clear-cut choice in Curtis Mayfield records. He’s a brilliant musician, but something about the lyrics to this album just seems to spark the vibe.
Overall: Is this record going to change your life? Probably not, but should you engage it at least at some point? I’d say yes. Then again, why are seeking my opinion? Anyhow, this album makes the cut, because I say it does. It’s a great listen from a heavily underrated musician and it takes you on a soulful journey. I may be running short on words, but that right there is why this record makes the cut on the Ghosts Top 101.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
We Proudly Announce the Ghosts of John Fontes
Just kidding, but I knew something was fishy just a couple months ago when I took a trip back to Ann Arbor and saw Wayne Fontes on regional cable. He was at the tryouts for the Team Michigan tryouts for the new AAFL football team.
All-American Profile: O.J Mayo
Name: O.J Mayo
Vitals: My Cock is bigger than yours
Goals: NBA Championship and League MVP
School: USC
Nickname: Original Gangster???
Favorite Food: Pussy
Favorite Beverage: Hennessy
Favorite Animal: Alligator
Favorite Song: “Me against the World” Tupac
NBA Player your game most resembles: A raw combination of Jason Kidd, Kobe, LeBron, Chris Paul, Magic, Bird, MJ, KG, Wade and T-Mac.
What motivates you: Dominating
Famous person you’d like to meet: I’m already famous
Best part about playing College Basketball: Marketing myself for endorsements and the league.
Two words that sum you up: Guns and Knives
Other Profiles:
Roy Hibbert
Kevin Love
Chris Lofton
Tyler Hansbrough
Drew Neitzel
Chris Douglas-Roberts
#62 - Jurassic 5 "Quality Control"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.“Pass me the rock, I know just what to do with it. It's real vivid, I pivot, through the lane. Three hundred and sixty behind my back. I take your monkey ass to the rack like Jerry Stack.”
Overview: I aim not to gush all over this Top 101 project, but this is yet another album that deserves a little more slobber. Quality Control is packed full of up tempo energy that's sure to put a little swagger in your step. There's brilliant lyrical interplay backed by far more musically than just the ordinary backbeat. Also, it's loaded with humor in the form of talking shit to one another, little skits, and clever sampling. For J5's first full length L.P., this is a monumental achievement. It definitely evokes energy and a lot of it. Finally, not to be undersold by the great production, sampling, beats, and so on is the fact that these guys have very distinct, complementary, and generally good voices. It's cool how they mesh, weave, and bounce em around. Overall, it's a dynamic effort that is not only worth a listen, but gets regular, heavy rotation in my collection.
Where and when to Listen: There's a bunch of places where this comes in handy. It's a great album if you are one to actually do exercise. It's good to get riled up to jazzercise away those holiday love handles. Another good time for this one is loud and in your car on the way home from work. It's a good album to listen to really loud, particularly if you are pissed off or excited to go drink some 40s.
Overall: This is excellent hip hop for hip hop fans who loves the rhymes, but need a little more eccentric music in the mix. There's great jazz and breakbeat drumlines, deep funky basslines, and catchy grooves scattered throughout. Not to mention, the lyrics are incredible from start to finish. I would never call myself anything even remotely close to an expert on hip hop, but it doesn't take one to realize that this recording is no run of the mill L.P.
Monday, November 26, 2007
All-American Profile: Roy Hibbert
Name: Roy Hibbert
Vitals: Shimmy Shake Drop
Goal: Obe-Kaybe
School: Georgetown
Position: Center
Nickname: Fat Albert ?
Favorite Food: Macaroni and Cheese
Favorite Cereal: Lucky Charms
Favorite Beverage: Miller High Life
Favorite Candy: Life Savers
People say you look like: I’m stoned
Favorite Movie: “I’m gonna get you sucka”
Favorite shirt: Flannel
What motivates you: Getting back to the Final Four
Somebody you look you up to: Patrick Ewing
Famous person you’d like to meet: The Undertaker
Two words that sum you up: Man Boobs
Other profiles:
Kevin Love
Chris Lofton
Tyler Hansbrough
Drew Neitzel
Chris Douglas-Roberts
So Close, and Yet...
Allow me, if you will, to write about a game that was more important to me than most football fans: Oh, that was close. So very, very close. Let me just say, first and foremost, that I am proud of the Eagles. They put up one hell of a fight and even, on a select few occasions, looked like the better team. They weren't the better team, and they sure aren't the better team, but to a casual observer, they may have appeared that way at times.
There are a few things that need to be said about this game. For only the second time this season, the Patriots looked mortal. Someone may not beat this team, but shit, someone can. They don't run that well. The defense isn't that good. (It's easy to seem that good when the offense keeps you off the field for 40 minutes a game.) And Tom Brady, well, okay, he's really fucking good. He may have only had one TD, but he didn't really make a bad throw all game. Maybe one or two, but not when it mattered. Did anyone really think the Eagles were going into halftime with a lead when Brady was driving at the end of the first half, down by 4? I sure didn't. No one runs a two minute drill better than he does. That fucking asshole.
What also needs to be said is this: A.J. FEELEY IS NOT A BETTER QUARTERBACK THAN DONOVAN McNABB. He never has been, and he never will be. So seriously, all of you idiots here in Philly that think he's the answer, please, shut up. How soon we forget that this is a young man that couldn't hold down a starting job for the soon-to-be 0-11 Miami Dolphins. He's a good back up QB, but that's just it - he's still a back up. A.J. played admirably against the Patriots, but he wasn't "amazing" or "incredible", which were both words I heard someone use to describe his performance tonight. McNabb probably wouldn't have thrown that first interception and he definitely wouldn't have thrown the second one.
One could argue that he may not have made the plays in between those two passes that kept the Eagles in the game, and to that I offer this: if the Eagles coaches called the exact same gameplan for McNabb that they do for any of his back ups, (Feeley, Garica - anyone), then he would be more effective than any of those guys. He is a better QB than any of those guys and would therefore be more effective than any of them if the coaches would use the same gameplan, which is: throw when you have to, but win with Westbrook. The Eagles had to throw a lot tonight because the Patriots keyed in on Westbrook, and trust me people, a healthy Donovan McNabb throws the ball better than a healthy A.J. Feeley every fucking time. It isn't McNabb's fault that Andy still thinks he's the best player on the Eagles. This game was as close as it was because Jim Johnson is a genius and because the playcalling was simple and effective, not because A.J. Feeley is Joe Montana. If McNabb is healthy - and I will concede the possibility that he may not be for quite some time - he should start for this football team. End of discussion.
As for the rest of the game, well, you gotta hand it to both sides. The Eagles deserve credit for shoving what was obviously, in retrospect, one of the most ridiculous spreads of all time down the throats of anyone who bet against them. And the Patriots deserve credit because, well, they did win. And that is, unfortunately, the bottom line. They won. They are still undefeated and will remain that way for at least 7 more days. But there is hope. Someone can beat this team, and God willing, someone will. I can't live in a world where Philadelphia fans rightfully think of Boston fans as obnoxious blowhards. If you think they're bad now - and they are - just wait until the Pats go 19-0. Trust me, we ain't seen nothin' yet. Here's hopin' we never will.
Highlights from the Thanksgiving Day Game
Like most fat bastard football fans, Thanksgiving ranks as one of the top days of the year around here. The opportunity to sit on my ass, watch the annual rite of passage for Lions fans, the Thanksgiving day game, and stuff my face until I can’t move takes a close second to but a few things - a Lost season finale, a Phish reunion, or Michigan going to the Alamo Bowl. Well, this year was different. My brother and I headed to Ford Field for the big game.
Despite being big Lions fans, never have I graced the Thanksgiving Day game or even Ford Field for that matter. Neither Stan or I live in Michigan anymore and we actually grew up about 2.5 hours away, so it’s a rare treat to get to catch a game live and in person. Despite the ass whooping laid on the Lions by Packers and falling short of a monumental comeback, it was indeed a day to remember. Here are some of the highlights…
Great Jerseys of the Day – Believe it or not, I saw a Scott Mitchell jersey. I saw the guy from my car, so I didn’t have a chance to figure out if he actually liked Scott Mitchell, but I hope it was more of a joke. Nobody liked Scott Mitchell. He was the worst quarterback in the history of the world. Other notables included a Eric Hipple throwback, Herman Moore (my former favorite player), and Billy Sims.
Worst Song of All Time – Thank whichever God you like that he or she doesn’t regularly allow the Lions fight song, Gridiron Heroes, to be aired on television. It is like Snakes on a Plane kind of thing where it is so damn bad, you aren’t sure if it is great or actually just really bad. Honestly, check out the lyrics to this song. By the way, if this was written by someone with brain damage, sorry, nice going on the song.
Forward down the field, A charging team that will not yield. And when the Blue and Silver wave, Stand and cheer the brave. Rah, Rah, Rah. Go hard, win the game. With honor you will keep your fame. Down the field and gain, A Lion victory!
What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing - Brett Favre was incredible. He kept reminding me of Joe Montana executing Walsh’s offense with quick strikes to Rice. Whether or not the Lions got pressure on him didn’t even matter, because the offense was so quick. Save for a few blitz packages, he looked unstoppable. I feel a little proud already to get to say I saw Brett Favre play in person in this season. I know a lot of people are sick of hearing about Favre and wish he would retire, but I think he is a freaking awesome QB and it was amazing to see him play - 20 straight completions. Wow.
Crowdometer – I’d put this somewhere in between AC/DC and the Who. The crowd at Ford Field really roars (dumb pun intended). The thing that I really loved about the fans in Detroit was the place went bananas every time the defense came out on first down. Compared to a lot of football games where the fans can barely fake it when the defense comes on the field, the Detroit fans seem to genuinely like watching the defense play. There was a good deal of quitters who bailed as things looked ugly around the end of the third quarter, but overall the place was rocking until the last play of the game.
Most Annoying Fan – Obviously, this is the guy directly next to me. I had the perpetual pessimist who insisted on turning to me after every single play and saying, “Pffft, here we go again. We all know how this is gonna end. Every time, they throw just throw it away.” To which, my brother and I responded, “Hey buddy, how about we tie this stupid Lion tail they gave us at the gate around your balls and swing you around over our heads.” Of course, he took off early and missed the semi-comeback in the fourth quarter. Sure, we all get a little frustrated buddy, but nobody wants to listen to you whine. Worse yet, he had no clue what he was talking about. Down 21-9 in the third quarter, this guy expected them to go deep on every down and complained every time they ran the ball.
Detroit Player of the Game – Aveion Cason, hands down. Cason caught 4 key passes for 58 yards and gained 188 yards on returns. Most people had never heard of him, but he made clutch plays and is an excellent return man. I hope to see much more of him down the stretch.
Turkey Leg Prognosis – Yep, people definitely do eat the big turkey legs and man did they look nasty. I never saw where they came from, but there were tons of remnants and bones lying all around and the meat was nasty and hot pink. I was looking forward to plowing down a Madden mutant leg, but no way was I going near those things.
Best Performance by a Drunk Guy – There were a few nominees here. At first, we thought for sure it would be the 75 year old man out in the smoking section who attracted a crowd as everyone awaited as he drooled, spit, swayed, a dry heaved in what appeared to be a inevitable giant vomit, but much to our dismay it never came. The winner went to the dude across the aisle from us who kept looking over to us and explaining that the girl he was with is “really not bad, despite being a spastic Packers fan.” At first we couldn’t really understand the situation, but as things heated up towards the end of the game, he came over and whispered, “Look sorry about this Packer fan. I just picked her up today, she’s really drunk, and it’s been a long time. I need this.”
What’s Next? – The Green Bay defensive line was the unsung hero of this game. Kitna didn’t really play that bad, he just didn’t have any time. The Lions should have altered the game plan to much quicker passing plays, but nevertheless, it’s not doom and gloom time despite three straight losses. They definitely need better pass protection, but the Green Bay D-line is top notch. The running game looked legit, special teams were very solid, and the secondary, um OK, let’s not get carried away. Anyway, a wildcard berth is more than feasible and I am by no means dejected on the outlook for the rest of the season. Plus, that was an inspired comeback despite falling short. Brett Favre played a game for the ages and Detroit hung in there. I don’t ever get my hopes up when the Lions are involved, but I’m not throwing in the towel quite yet.
Friday, November 23, 2007
#31 - Allman Brothers "Eat a Peach"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
Allman Brothers - Eat a Peach
“You’re my blue sky, you’re my sunny day. Lord ya’ know it makes me high, when ya’ turn ya’ love my way.”
Overview: All that really needs to be said about this landmark classic or southern rock album (pending on your preference) is that it was Duane Allman’s final recorded material with the band. He died in a motorcycle accident, while the band was still working on the album. However, that need not be why you seek out this record, if by some great misfortune you don’t own it already. The music is special in it’s own regards, as this album carved the Allman Bros innovative reputation in Rock n’ Roll. And I’m well aware that sounded robotic and transcribed like it was stolen from VH1 dialogue. Yet, how else do you say…this album is fucking brilliant?
Key Musical Highlights: Where does it start and stop? Certainly, “Blue Sky” is the most recognizable and commercially friendly track from the album. “Mountain Jam” certainly paves the road for the spaced out jam session. And “Ain’t Wastin’ Time No More” ropes people in as the opening track. However, the ballad “Melissa” showed a different side to the Allman Bros and carries that softer acoustic, harmonic work that just drives the album. And that’s by no means, saying that track stands above any of the others.
Where and when to Listen: For me, the Allman’s always have a shelf life. The album never seems to fade from relevance in my rotation. Sure, it might sit on the back burner for a while, but it’s a lock to find it’s way into airplay during a summer night or BBQ. It’s hardly a generational album that should stay buried for too long. In fact, it’s locked and loaded on my iPod as we speak.
Who you’re likely to meet wearing this t-shirt?
Hippies. Stinky patchouli wearing hippies. No, I’m kidding…maybe. Anyhow, the artwork of the album is timeless and is some of the most memorable cover art to accompany a record. And therefore, the shirt isn’t all that outdated. In fact, I may and I do have an “Eat a Peach for peace” t-shirt buried somewhere in my collection.
Lasting Impression: It’s been speculated that the album’s title is based upon an anti-war quote from Duane Allman just before he was killed. “There ain’t no revolution, it’s evolution, but every time I’m in Georgia I eat a peach for peace; two-legged Georgia variety.”
Overall: You’re really missing out if you haven’t “Eaten a Peach for Peace.” There are only so many adjectives and only so much praise that we can bestow on a record. However, the choice is up to the listener on what they feel is good or bad. However, for us…there aren’t a lot of “jamband” albums that could possibly top this Allman Bros masterpiece. And that’s why this here makes the cut on the Ghosts Top 101.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Ask an Expert: The NFL According to Swayze
As an old and rare tradition here at GoWF, from time to time we like to do this little thing called "Ask and Expert." Well, it just so happens our good buddy and LEGENDARY actor Patrick Swayze is the resident expert around these parts. He's weighed in on many a topic or debate in the past. And so, on the eve of this holiday weekend we had a quick chance to catch up with Swayze once again and discuss some NFL knowledge (well -- fictionally speaking, of course).
Ghosts: Thanks for dropping by buddy, long time…no speak. It’s been quite the NFL season thus far, lots of interesting twists and turns, records on the line, etc, etc, etc. Knowing you as such a big NFL fan, what’s your quick take on the season thus far?
Swayze: It's kind of strange, isn't it? How the mountains pay us no attention at all. You laugh or you cry...the wind just keeps on blowing.
Ghosts: Um, yes I guess it is. Anyhow, one of the top stories this season aside from the Patriots has been the play of Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers. Many see Favre as committing to change in the off-season and playing fearless and more importantly flawless football. Your thoughts?
Swayze: Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.
Ghosts: Interesting. Your thoughts on Adrian Peterson’s remarkable season and what it means in historical terms prior to hurting his knee?
Swayze: If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.
Ghosts: Um, he just partially tore the LCL, he should be back in a few weeks.
Swayze: Pain don't hurt.
Ghosts: Ok, you’re thoughts on the dominance and swagger that is the New England Patriots? And just how does somebody go about trying to knock them off this season?
Swayze: It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt.
Ghosts: No offense, but that’s much easier said then done…now isn’t it? Don’t you ever think what Belicheck is doing (basically running up the score) is essentially bad for the game?
Swayze: Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places...
Ghosts: Pat, I’m afraid I’m not following you on that one. I was only asking your opinion on the subject.
Swayze: I know Johnny. I know you want me so bad it's like acid in your mouth. But, not this time.
Ghosts: My name isn’t Johnny? WTF?
Swayze: Just put your pickle on everybody's plate college boy and leave the hard stuff to me.
Ghosts: What? Pat – come back to me. Remember we are talking about the New England Patriots – remember?
Swayze: They're going to kill you, Carl. You and Willie! You're going to be fertilizer. They're gonna bury you right next to Jimmy Hoffa.
Ghosts: OK, I’m catching your drift loud and clear Pat, but I really don’t know why you keep dancing around the topic.
Swayze: Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. That is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.
Ghosts: Huh?
Swayze: Listen, Soda. You and Ponyboy, if the fuzz show, you beat it out of there. Hey, we'll get jailed, but you two will get the boys home, you know what I'm sayin'?
Ghosts: No, actually I have no fucking clue what you’re saying.
Swayze: All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.
Ghosts: OK, that’s a wrap Pat – once again we simply can’t have a constructive conversation, because you always go off on a tangent. Thanks anyway.
Swayze: Ditto, Molly.
Ghosts: Yeah, whatever.
Swayze: I'm proud of you, Oda Mae!
#14 - N.W.A "Straight Outta Compton"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton
“Cause I’m the type (bleep) that’s built to last. If you fuck with me, I’ll put a foot up yo’ ass. I don’t give a fuck, cause I keep bailin’. Yo! Dre…what the fuck are they yelling?”
Overview: I must’ve owned this cassette tape at least 3 or 4 times. After my parents confiscated it a few times, I got wise and decided to tape over something else and or hide a copy of the tape as best I could. I’d carry the damn thing on me at all times, because I didn’t want to loose my street bible. And I was a white kid growing up in the Burbs…hmm. Either way, no matter how many times they deemed the album as “banned” in their house, it just kept coming back like Freddy Krueger and they soon realized they couldn’t stop it. However, they did put their foot down to me getting a Raiders “Starter” jacket.
That aside, this album introduced many like me into gangsta rap. Who knew at the time that we were listening to something so raw and groundbreaking? Take whatever stance you will on rap, but this is the point rap turned a corner and I’m talking about a good corner. Was and is the message “wholesome” still today? Probably not, but was it honest and real? Yes, it absolutely was and still is today. Just think about all the talent that N.W.A was comprised of?
Key Musical Highlights: “Fuck the Police.” Hands. Down. The entire album is a testament to the life of a gangster, but “Fuck the Police” was a wake-up slap to the face anthem that still reigns in honor today. No offense, to each additional track, but FTP is the track that made and still makes you say “god damn they ruthless.”
When and where to Listen: Anywhere you please. This is N.W.A, who cares what other people think? True story, I was at a party that had one of those Karaoke machines where you could play your own CD’s and I ‘raoked “Gangsta, Gangsta” to the initial shock and ensuing delight of the crowd on hand. Case and point #2, in College I pumped “Fuck the Police” from my front porch during the RIOTS in East Lansing following MSU’s loss to Duke in the Final Four. So, needless to say, I’m not ashamed to spread N.W.A anytime or place. You may feel the opposite, but that’s your prerogative.
Who you’re likely to meet wearing this t-shirt?
I’m not sure, but they must be some cool ass mother fuckers.
Lasting Impression: The Revolution of Rap. N.W.A raised the stakes and forever changed the landscape of Rap. Violence and profanity was at a new premium on this record and it spawned the labeling of music as “Explicit Lyrics” and “Parental Discretion Advised.” As many realize, this forever changed music, as we know it.
Overall: What else really needs to be said that hasn’t already been said? N.W.A was a collection of All-Stars whom have each gone their separate ways and attained immense levels of success. The group released a few more studio efforts post “Straight Outta Compton.” However, none of them came even close to breaking down the walls that this record from Dre, Cube, Eazy-E, Ren, Yella and Arabain Prince did. And that folks is why this one just had to register on the Ghost Top 101.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
All-American Profile: Chris Douglas-Roberts
Name: Chris Douglas-Roberts
Vitals: Junior Guard, Memphis Tigers
Hometown: The “D”
Nickname: CDR
Goal: Cut down the nets
Favorite Animal: Tiger
Favorite Sneaker: Air Jordan III
Favorite Cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
One thing you can’t live without: My iPod
If you weren’t a basketball player you’d be: Marine Biologist
Favorite TV Show: Tyler Perry
Fill in the blank. John Calipari is (blank): A father figure and a genius
Motivation Factor: Losing to Ohio State on a sprained ankle in the Elite Eight last season.
Best part about playing College Basketball: One Shining Moment
Life after Basketball: Retire
Two words that sum you up: Popcorn and soda
Other profiles:
Kevin Love
Chris Lofton
Tyler Hansbrough
Drew Neitzel
If Only We Were Blogging In: 1983
This is a semi-regular feature here at GoWF where we take a look back to yesteryear and envision what it would be like if we had a blog back in various points of our youth. Today, we're headed back to a time when we basically had no idea what what going on the first time around. The year was 1983; therefore, we were 6. Don't worry though, we were pretty ahead of the game for a couple first graders. Here is some of the stuff that may have graced these pages if we could take GoWF back in time.
The sports world saw great moments in 1983, but arguably none more exciting than the 76er's 65 win regular season and NBA Championship led by none other than Dr. J. This was a legendary team that included Moses Malone and Maurice Cheeks. The Sixers cruised through the playoffs, losing just one game on their way to a title. Don't worry, I know the rules; never mention Dr. J without posting a Youtube video. It's right up there with don't put your elbows on the dinner table and look both ways before you cross.
In college hoops, we witnessed another legendary championship run. North Carolina State led by none other than Jim Valvano led his "Cardiac Pack" to a NCAA Championship. The final game is the game with the famous footage of Jimmy V running around the court going bananas that you see 65 times every year March Madness rolls around. Despite losing the championship game, a pretty good center by the name of Hakeem Olajuwon was named the the tourney's Most Outstanding Player.
In the NHL, the New York Islanders (yes, that is how it's supposed to read), led by Mike Bossy, won the Cup for the fourth consecutive year, ousting the Edmonton Oilers. Of course, Wayne Gretzky won the Hart trophy. He was only able to record a paltry 87 goals and 118 assists though, not his best work. Another interesting factoid is the 1982-1983 season saw the Colorado Rockies (yep, you read that right too) move to New Jersey to become the New Jersey Devils.
The year in MLB saw the end of some of the best that ever played, Johnny Bench, Carl Yastrzemski, and Gaylord Perry. Nevertheless, there were some big highlights of the 1983 season. Boggs hit .361 and won the batting crown in his first full season. The Phillies made it all the way to the World Series and became known as the "Wheeze Kids," because the team centered around a group of veterans all at least 38 years of age, including Pete Rose, Steve Carlton, Tug McGraw, Joe Morgan, and Tony Perez. Despite the great effort by the geezers, it wasn't enough to win the series as the Orioles, led by whippersnapper Cal Ripken and veteran Eddie Murray, were too much.
This is probably the highlight of this feature. Wouldn’t it be super to go back in time and play fantasy football with some of the greats of yesteryear?
Well, Stan and I simulated the first round of a theoretical 1983 fantasy draft.
1) Eric Dickerson, RB. St. Louis
2) John Riggins, RB, Washington
3) Joe Montana, QB, 49ers
4) Curt Warner, RB, Seattle
5) Mike Quick, WR, Philadelphia
6) Earl Campbell, RB, Houston
7) Joe Theismann, QB, Washington
8) Walter Payton, RB, Chicago
9) James Lofton, WR, Green Bay
10) Tony Dorsett, RB, Dallas
11) Ozzie Newsome, TE, Cleveland
12) Todd Christensen, WR, Los Angeles Raiders
Sleepers:
Lynn Dickey, QB, Green Bay
Willie Gault, WR, Chicago
Roy Green, WR, St. Louis
Danny White, QB, Dallas
Chris Collinsworth, WR, Cincinatti
William Andrews, RB, Atlanta
What mattered at the movies back in '83? Well, a couple of old wall street tycoons by the name of Randolph and Mortimer were up to no good as they messed with the lives of a Wall Street yuppie and trouble maker from the streets in Trading Places. The big hit that made waves at my household was Mr. Mom. The highlight of this movie is obviously when Michael Keaton competes in the company picnic obstacle course. Finally, rounding out a monumental year at the box office, 1983 introduced the world to Clark W. Griswold, Aunt Edna, and Cousin Eddie in Vacation. "If you're thinking of taking the tribe cross country, this is your automobile."
What was playing on the ghetto blaster? Beat It from Thriller was definitely getting serious airplay as the vehicle of choice to practice the worm and the moon walk. Motley Crue released the epic album, Shout at the Devil. Genesis's Invisible Touch was a little more my speed at age 6. I think it took me a few years to catch on to the harder stuff though. Bon Jovi, the Flaming Lips, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers formed, R.E.M. released their first L.P., and Metallica released Kill 'Em All.
When it came to the style of the day, anyone who was anyone was wearing parachute pants and leather jackets with covered with zippers.
Important television events in '83 included the long awaited introduction of the "really small black kid moves in with random ex-football player" classic, Webster. Also, Fraggle Rock debuted as Nickelodeon was just a baby. The Fall Guy, Gimme A Break, Silver Spoons, Cheers, Knight Rider, and Family Ties were all just hitting their stride. This is undoubtedly one of the great golden ages in TV's short history.
In video games, the industry was just starting to get heated. For the most part, video games still existed at the arcade. Spy Hunter and the game I cold never understand, Dragon Lair, were released in 1983. Commodore 64 was still a powerhouse of the home game industry, but Nintendo and Sega were gearing up as they released their first home computers in Japan. Coleco, Atari, and Intellivision were going strong, but their reigns would soon fall.
Finally, if we were blogging back in 1983, collectibles would have been of pinnacle importance. There were a few must have baseball cards from 1983 as there was a really strong crop of rookies, including Ryne Sandberg, Julio Franco, Wade Boggs, and my personal favorite, Tony Gwynn.
Monday, November 19, 2007
After Two Games: It's Halftime Adjustments 2, Ghosts 0
Well, we're men of our words around here (ok, well not entirely) and since Ohio State embarassed Michigan 14-3 on Saturday, we have another guest post from our buddy at Haltime Adjustments - a great OSU and general sports blog. They already smoked us in our first bet as Stan and wagered on the outcome of the Michigan State-OSU game, where the winner was allowed a guest post on the other's website. Well, we upped the ante this time and the winner got a free guest post and the loser had to post their picture dressed in the opposing team's colors. So, here is the guest post from Halftime Adjustments followed by a picture of me dressed in OSU gear.
There is the amazing disappointment of the big three, all of whom passed on mega-dollars to return for one more shot at Ohio State and let’s be honest- they thought a national title. Obviously, injuries have put a question mark on where Henne and Hart will be drafted now. And Long? Well, he was flat out beaten a few times in that game. I wonder if that might hurt his draft stock a little. But again, I’m sure there have been many things written in the past couple days about that topic, or will be when the NFL draft is closer.
Will the Buckeye fan make fun of Lloyd Carr? Mock his 1-6 record against Jim Tressel? Well, I might have a few years ago. To be honest it was somewhat surprising to see the graphic detailing Carr’s career record against OSU. When he was dominating the match-ups against Cooper we never thought Carr would leave the game with a losing record against us. Didn’t seem possible. I suppose Michigan fans knew this all too well. One win in seven years is a mighty tough pill to swallow. I remember that feeling. But with Carr’s retirement there is certainly room for hope.
No, today I would like to say something to a certain select group of Michigan fans. Those of you that are alumni of the school, or are currently attending, this message is not for you. I can understand your enthusiasm and behavior and can say I eagerly await the next contest in Columbus. Those of you who are Michigan fans because you grew up in Michigan, and though you never went to the University, you feel they are your ‘home team’, you are excused from criticism as well. Full disclosure - I did not go to the Ohio State University. I went to a small private college in Cincinnati. I was born and raised in the Buckeye tradition, and I believe like a lot of Ohioans the football team at OSU is the University’s gift to the state.
No, today my seething remarks are for those Michigan fans who live in Ohio. You know who you are. You have no actual connection to the Wolverines. Your parents didn’t go there. You probably never lived in Michigan, or even visited for that matter. You root for them mostly to rub it in when they win. You like to wear your butt-ugly blue and yellow coat to the mall all winter after a Michigan win. You’re probably wearing a Yankee hat with it. If you’re old enough you probably remember wearing your Michigan Starter jacket over your Michael Jordan jersey. You make me sick. You are the ones that used to say things like, “I don’t even think Ohio State is a rival anymore.” Chew on that 6th loss for a while, and tell me there is no rivalry. Of course, we haven’t seen that coat in some time have we?
Michigan fans take heart, your team will rise again. You know this. It may take time, but these things run in cycles. Maybe the next guy will have Tressel’s number. Maybe not. But eventually things will even out again. But I hope not!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Juvenile De"link"uents
There it is folks. The best "link" reference you will hear all week. To kick off the holiday season of massive slacking off at your jobs, we've scoured the sites of some friends and fellow wordsmiths to provide you with a personalized time bandit. In terms of work, this period starting the week before Thanksgiving through New Years is really one of the best times of year. Everyone is in good spirits and the expectations of productivity are remarkably low, the whole world is burning away the work day on the Internet, and in a great time for sports. It's a most wonderful time of the year, which should translate into a mini renaissance in the blogosophere.
So without further ado, let's take a look at some of the hits from the past week or so. As always, if you'd like to be included in the links (we post one roughly once a week), have an idea you'd like to share with the Ghosts, or just want to shoot the shit, feel free to email us waynefontesghost@gmail.com.
Matt from Detroit Bad Boys addressed an issue that has been eating me up, "Is Ben Wallace done?"
The Sports Hernia takes a look of the new trend in the NBA as a result of Phil Jackson's Brokeback Mountain joke.
This is old as hell, but new to me. Check out which politician is a Deadhead. OK, more like check out which politician is a total dork, but thinks shes a Deadhead. C-C-C-Custy.
According to our bud, Matt Mosley, Dre Bly finally gets to play on Monday night, but the rest of Detroit is still singing Crosseyed and Painless... still waiting.
Suck at Sports gets excited, in turn making me excited, that Kenny Rogers canned Boras.
Ray from Flyers Fieldhouse (@ Epic) gives us a look inside the couch fort with A-Rod and the Steinbrenners. Borases are not allowed.
Bill Williamson at the Denver Post questions what to do with Brady Quinn (Via SBB)?
The Big Lead reports (as reported by the Wall Street Journal) that Warren Buffett's advice played a role in A-Rod's decision to fire Scott Boras.
Finally, one of my new favorite bands, Tea Leaf Green, underwent a surprise shakeup. Bass player, Ben "Milky" Chambers decided to pack it up for good, citing that the lifestyle on the road is no longer for him. This is a big bummer as he brought a great bottom end to the band, particularly in the funkier stuff. As for the good news, Tea Leaf Green pretty much decided to go out and sign A-Rod. Reed Mathis from Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey has signed on with TLG for the unforeseeable future. Reed is a tremendous bassist with a heavy jazz background, so it will be interesting to see the direction this takes TLG.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
In Defense of Barry Bonds
Look, let me say this immediately - I don't like Barry Bonds. He's a dick. Always has been, always will be. These recent developments, however, are a tad over the top. He's being indicted for perjury? Really? Are you going to indite Rafael Palmeiro too? What about Mark "I'm not here to talk about the past" McGwire? (I always loved how he was allowed to get away with saying that WHEN HE WAS APPEARING IN FRONT OF CONGRESS TO DISCUSS HIS PAST!) Good grief. What about Sammy "I suddenly don't speak English" Sosa?
You're going to punish Bonds - because he just happened to be a better baseball player than those guys - and not them? You're going to punish him for not being friendly to the media? Yo, fuck that.
You want to take away his record (if that's even possible)? Fine. No one who actually cares about baseball considers him the "Home Run King". (A couple days ago the headline in the paper read "Home Run King Indicted" and my immediate reaction was "Hank Aaron was indicted?") You want to essentially force him into retirement? Done.
You want to render all of his accomplishments on the baseball diamond worthless? Beyond done. But you want to put him in jail? Come on now. That isn't fair.
If you ask me, this whole thing just REEKS of Monica Lewinsky. No, it doesn't smell like cheeseburgers and dick. I didn't mean it literally. I mean it sounds just like the whole scandal that wasted God only knows how much of our time and money. Did the president get freaky with a fat intern? Yup. Was it any of our fucking business? HELL. FUCKING. NO. That's my problem with perjury: if you have no business asking the question, I don't have to answer it truthfully.
Now, with Bonds it is a little different. We do have a right, as baseball fans, to know if he used performance enhancing drugs. However, at the time of use, he wasn't violating the rules of baseball. Just like Clinton wasn't breaking any laws by letting a fatty schlob his knob. Both Bonds and Clinton were being asked questions they should not have had to answer. Baseball had Barry's test results. He didn't need to go on the stand. And he certainly shouldn't be sent to jail for trying to save his image. Do you really think anyone in the world is more upset about this than Bonds? Not a chance. This is especially upsetting for him (and sad for baseball fans) because he would have been a shoo in for the Hall based on his natural ability alone.
Now? That's all gone. He might get into the Hall of Fame someday, but it will be a pretty vacant honor. The one thing Bonds always had going for him was the respect of true baseball fans, love him or hate him. That's gone now too. And it's never coming back. Do we really need to waste a prison cell (and plenty of taxpayer dollars) on this guy? No. We don't.
Now, if you want to lock Bud Selig up for a while, hey, I'm all for it.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Loose Ends and Picks: Ghosts Go Networking Edition
The Ghosts have ventured into a new realm. Yup, we are now joining the millions upon millions of those who have found the joy and love from this thing you call...my space. For us, we aren't so sure what this strange technology is that you speak of. When the air conditioning goes on in our apartment we get scared. Anyhow, it seemed about time to venture out to meet some new friends and continuously keep our true identities "un-exposed" while we socially surf the bowels of the internet. Does that all make sense? No, just fucking be-friend us already...click here!
Now, for the "loose ends" and relevant issues surfacing that we should share with you. Um, I think there is some "game" this weekend that Rupes would love to talk about or we have been talking about for the past few days. Anyhow, I'll pass the mic his way to shed a bit more light on what we can expect to happen in A-squared this weekend.
What? Silence is all I hear? He claims he will talk only after the game, so that's it for the ends and now it's onto the gambling...
Rupes recently said to me, "I just think I suck at gambling." To which I must reply, "cheer up buck-a-roo, Greendale is a bodaciously small town. I can't even get real drugs here." Whoops, sorry -- it goes more like this: there are no such thing as "bad" gamblers, rather unlucky gamblers. It takes strong intenstinal fortitude for a gambler to just ride out the bad luck and wait for the good luck to return. Check out this week's roster filled with GOOD luck. Happy wagering...
JACKSONVILLE (-3) over San Diego
See Phil Rivers. San Diego is a mediocre team in denial. Their flaws are continually exposed week in and week out. It’s always going to Norv Turner’s problem and somewhere in the world Marty is laughing.
INDIANAPOLIS (-14.5) over Kansas City
Fork in the road game for the Colts. This will dictate which direction their season is going after two straight losses.
Cleveland (-3) over BALTIMORE
That line is a slap in the face to the legitimacy that is the Browns. The Ravens suck, as mentioned here before.
CINCINNATI (-3) over Arizona
Hey Chad, we’re not waiting for you to talk anymore…we’re waiting for you to score a fucking TD.
New England (-15.5) over BUFFALO
No Marshawn Lynch for the Bills, the Pats are 7-1 ATS and coming off a bye week. What else are you looking for?
DALLAS (-11) over Washington
Fair or not, the Joe Gibbs hot seat is heating up…just a tad.
GREEN BAY (-10) over Carolina
I’ll never doubt the Favre of Destiny again this season.
DETROIT (+2.5) over N.Y Giants
And the other team of Destiny is ELECTRIC at home. Reverend Kitna preaches a win.
St. Louis (-3) over SAN FRANCISCO
The Rams were 0-8 just a week ago, but now they are a three-point road favorite. Something stinks and it’s Alex Smith.
SEATTLE (-5.5) over Chicago
Fuck it, we are going to throw the ball 50 times a game, because we can. And Shaun Alexander has a vagina.
This Game Really Doesn't Mean Shit
I hate to gloat – wait, scratch that, I LOVE to gloat. And so gloat, I shall. I saw this coming. Yup, while most of you Michigan and Ohio State fans were too busy getting fat and happy about the respective success of each team, I saw this coming a mile away. The “Biggest Rivalry in College Football” means jack shit tomorrow. Yet, that’s not any indication that I’m not going to watch. I mean who doesn’t stare out of curiosity at the scene of an accident on the side of the freeway.
And that brings me back to my gloating stance. Wait, what do you mean you saw this coming? Well, it all started before the season even began when I spoke candidly and on the record in this very space about my disdain and displeasure for Michigan. I correctly predicted the usual choke job to a non-conference team; followed by the inevitable win streak that would propel Michigan fans into thinking they somehow deserved a shot at the National Championship picture. A few months and several death threats later, look who’s right?
Much thanks go out to Appalachian State and Oregon for making me look somewhat Nostradamic. Of course, the 8 game win streak rose from the ashes and then I heard something that nearly forced me to soil my own pants. “Michigan is only a blocked FG away from being a Top 3 team.” OK, but the field goal did get blocked and they lost to Appalachian “fucking” State. Are we gonna spilt heirs here?
Thankfully, the win streak came to a halt last week in Wisconsin. And now, just about everything I predicted looks to be about right. I still think Michigan will beat Ohio State on Saturday. They will get their fans all hyped only to get crushed by USC or another PAC-10 team, yet again. Yes, these are all obvious things that are going to happen. And as a side bar to all of this is that Lloyd Carr is probably jumping or being forced to jump ship (more on that in just a second).
So, when it comes to Ohio State I might not have been quite dead on in my predictions. However, I did suggest it wouldn't exactly be an easy season for the Buckeye's. Oh wait, that didn't quite turn out accordingly either. Regardless, I've done my best all season long to point out the fact that they would lose at least two games this season. Mission accomplished, maybe. Anyhow, Michigan and Ohio State fans just remind of those fucking pricks that attach cell phones to their bet buckles. Maybe it's just me, but that shit just irks the shit out of me. Well, enough about me, here are some of the obvious items of note going into the "showdown."
Neither team is as good as we thought.
Pre-season it was Michigan or bust. Then came the gag job and our attention was diverted to Ohio State. Overrated in every sense of the word. Yet, somebody has to volunteer to get their ass whipped in Rose Bowl...right?
The Big 10 Stinks.
In case you've been living in another dimension, the Big 10 is garbage. Not really any other way to spell it out other than the fact that the players are a step slower and it's just not the DOMINANT conference most people would like to believe it is.
Lloyd Carr is upstaging the game.
He IS going to retire. Enough with the fucking shenanigans already Lloyd. Nobody really cares. Do you know why? Because you took a prominent program and made them vulnerable again. You went into every single season with expectations of the National Championship. Yet, somehow your season's have played out like a broken fucking record. Douche and move on Ann Arbor.
Brent Musberger is ejaculating to this game.
Alone in some hotel room in Ann Arbor Brent Musberger just ejaculated all over his TV. And it wasn't because the wind caught Erin Andrews hair at the Arizona game. Nope. It's solely for the fact that he gets to call Ohio State/Michigan and add the final level of hype.
Hopefully, it's regional coverage.
Because, let's be honest -- I'd much rather watch Michigan State.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
All-American Profile: Kevin Love
Name: Kevin Love
Vitals: Freshmen F/C, UCLA Bruins
Goal: NBA
Favorite Food: Grease
Favorite Snack: Double-Double from In-n-Out
One thing you can’t live without: A Basketball
Favorite shirt: A wife beater.
Somebody you look up to: Bill Walton
NBA player your game resembles: Jack Sikma
If you weren’t a basketball player you’d be: A Golfer
Favorite TV Show: The Simpsons
Favorite Band: Dave Matthews Band
Favorite Movie: Fever Pitch
Where to find you on a Friday night: The Gym, always working on my game.
Best part about playing College Basketball: The Chicks.
Life after Basketball: Basketball is life.
Two words that sum you up: Wolf Tits
Other profiles:
Chris Lofton
Tyler Hansbrough
Drew Neitzel
We Want a Montage: It's Ohio State Weekend
In typical dramatic fashion, the Michigan-Ohio State game still somehow means everything for fans after one of the most depressing seasons in recent memory. Both fans of the Maize & Blue and Scarlett & Gray saw their national championship dreams go down the drain at the most unfortunate times - Michigan in week 1 and Ohio State just a single week before the Michigan game. The Lloyd Carr rumors of resignation have surfaced, the Roses are totally up for grabs, and to top if off we have a totally awesome bet going with our good buddy over at Halftime Adjustments (yeah, we're not all dicks). That's right, we have upped the ante for this game.
*** Whoever loses this one has to submit a picture dressed in the other team's apparel. So, I am fully prepared to dress up in the Scarlett and Gray - probably with a sweater vest - and then suffocate myself with the shopping bag from the tequila store. ***
As if we needed any more excitement surrounding this weeks big game, it's time for a little montage (well, maybe more of a series of 6 or 7 photographs, but you get the idea). Here are some of the finest moments in the history of the rivalry. I intended to be semi-unbiased here, but fuck it; this is Ohio State.
The hours approaching, to give it your best
You've got to reach your prime.
That’s when you need to put yourself to the test
And show us a passage of time
Were going to need a montage (montage)
Ooh it takes a montage (montage)
The two men who took this thing to a whole new level had a mutual hatred and a mutual respect.
Heisman!
Did Somebody Say Heisman?
Speaking of Heismans, did you know I won two in row once?
Is 313 enough to derail those title hopes? Yep, that should do it.
Yo coach, where my steroids at?
Joe Germaine gracefully takes a sack.
"I'm here today to whole-heartedly dispute the allegations I am in fact an employee of the University of Michigan."
This year there shall be no shame hunch. GO BLUE!
The Era Begins: Welcome to Michigan, John Beilein
Tonight represents the first test and the beginning of the John Beilein era in Ann Arbor. Looking at the University of Michigan roster, the logical analyst would be silly to predict much more than a 7th or 8th place finish in the Big Ten and yet another trip to the NIT. Maybe that will be the case, but John Beilein's changes are already stirring up optimism as there is a lot too like about handing the reigns to Beilein to rejuvenate this once elite - now attrocius - program.
For starters, Beilein seems to have a motivational quality that is working amongst the players. Dating back to the Steve Fisher and Fab Five days, this has long been a problem in Ann Arbor. The program has garnered a reputation for allowing a less disciplined and refined style of play, affording players a little more flexibility. Amaker certainly tried to change that, and made some gameplan but never really motivated or developed a chemistry as a team. With Beilein, he is starting with essentially a blank slate and developing a VERY young team with the new mindset. It seems to be working.
Beilein has instilled a brutal conditioning regimen whereby all member of the team are expected to run a 5:30 mile (bigs get 5:45). Also, Beilein has the young players working hard to really understand the offense. Beilein places heavy emphasis on watching films and closely evaluating the play of the team. This has struck a chord with the younger players as several of the freshman have taken dvds home of the offense home to study the offense together.
The youth of this team is providing an excitement level that maybe there is more than meets the eye on this Michigan team. Sophmore DeShawn Sims is averaging 20 points per game in 2 games (2-0) and earned Big Ten Player of the Week honors. Also, three freshman are logging heavy minutes, prized recruit Manny Harris (17.5 ppg/4 apg), Kelvin Grady (10.5 ppg), and Anthony Wright (6.5 ppg/5.5 rpg). Importantly, the shooting has been remarkable going 19-47 from behind the arc, which is a keystone of the Beilein offense
Lastly, Michigan received a letter of intent from 7' 0", 250 pound center, Ben Cronin, yesterday as well. Check out this stat line - 12/12/8/5. He also got a letter on intent from Stu Douglass, a SG with NBA range from behind the arc. Douglass should provide a spark in Beilein's offense. The Wolverines' recruiting program looks to receive a serious upgrade with the additoon of Beilein.
I'd say we have a lot to be excited about when football season ends in Ann Arbor for once. Whether than can pull out a win against a 500-pound gorilla in #5 Georgetown, that might be asking too much, but on a grander scale, Beilein seems to be executing according to plan for a monumental rebuilding of the once mighty Wolverines. Welcome to Ann Arbor, John. What'ya say we get the Ohio State weekend off and rolling with a big upset of the Hoyas?
Some Heads are Still Going to Roll in San Diego
If you’re of the impression that what took place in San Diego on Sunday night is exactly the kind of revitalizing and momentum building win that will allow the Chargers to snap out of their season long battle with mediocrity, you’re insane. Bottom line. Sure, the dust has settled and it's been a few days, but something still just doesn't feel right. It's the same dirty feeling you get every time you get back at six in the morning after a trip to Tijuana.
This simply is NOT the Chargers team that you and I engaged and watched with unbound excitement last season. Why? Well, as has been said before there are several reasons to the Chargers demise. However, the most obvious scapegoat Norv Turner is only half the problem.
If you’re missing where I am going with this, my apologies. The Chargers Achilles heel was staring right in front of everyone on Sunday night and clear as day. It was quite disturbing to watch, more so than even seeing the craters on Norv Turner’s face in HD. That problem is the douchebaggery and overall suckness that is Philip Rivers. For all practical purposes, I won’t call him Philip in this piece, rather just Phil, because I like that ring a little better. And I think wording it as "Phil" personifies just a bit better the magnitude of an ass Phil Rivers really is.
Phil Rivers has gone leaps and bounds in the wrong direction this season. To think, this was supposed to be the “break-out” season for him as a QB. And least we not forget under the careful tutelage of the QB guru himself, Norv Turner, Rivers positive growth and development was only to be expected. However, not even Norv Turner can resolve or mask the lingering deficiencies that Phil possesses. From his awkward mechanics and side arm delivery to his whiny on field persona and on down to his inability to deliver in the clutch, it’s time to raise the flag and admit you made a mistake San Diego.
And right here is where I toss a hat tip and include a quote from Big Daddy Drew, who painted the perfect potrait in regards to Phil last week on Deadspin. Technically speaking, he fucking nailed it.
I watched the Chargers play last week, and I think there's a highly underreported story going on in the NFL this year. And that is that Philip Rivers is a douchebag. Big douchebag. HUGE douchebag. He's the kind of fuckhead that wears Nantucket reds to a cocktail party and then pinches your sister's tits. He's the kind of shit-eating cockgobbler that throws Bacardi Silver peepee parties with JJ Redick. He's the kind of guy who ends up working at an investment bank and spending his weekends beating his girlfriend as she tries to put herself through graduate school. I know the type. I live in Washington, okay? There are loads of these douches here, overcrowding the bars, rocking visors and running the Federal government.
-----------------------------------------------
For me, Rivers is nothing more than a right-handed version of Scott Mitchell. He talks a big game, but he certainly can’t back it up. He’ll tease and entice you into believing he’s something special with those occasional “misleading” stat line games. Those are the games where L.T and Michael Turner pound the opposing defense setting up the ideal play action scenarios and protection Rivers sorely needs to be remotely effective. As for his insurance policy, Antonio Gates, he’s bailed Rivers out far too many times.
Phil Rivers is a jackass, plain and simple. He exhibits all the qualities you’d beg for your leader not to possess. He talks smack at the opposing teams, bitches to the refs, blames everyone, but himself and basically sucks. While, most people are breathing a sigh of relief in San Diego after the luck handed to them on Sunday night, they really should be sensing the impending doom. However, I live in San Diego and it’s much too laid back to ever let the sense of urgency or panic surface for too long.
In most any other NFL city, Rivers would be tossed in the frying pan and roasted on Sports talk radio. However, as team is gagging along in the bowels of mediocrity, they somehow still hold a slight divisional lead. And besides everyone is much too eager to blame Norv Turner and his withered face for the Chargers short comings. So, Phil Rivers continues to get a free pass. He’s lucky Adam Vinateri saved his pathetic ass, because maybe losing on Sunday would’ve been the spark needed for people to intensify the crusade on Rivers and his inability to be a leader.
Maybe or maybe not. Either way, the local San Diego commercial spot with Phil, sums it up best. For those who haven’t seen it, Rivers is at a trade show with a booth set-up to sign autographs next to some ordinary Joe. Well, everyone that comes to the booth wants the random dudes autograph. And to be honest, I can’t blame them I wouldn’t want Phil Rivers fucking autograph either. Dude is a fucking douche bag.
And he sucks.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
That Was Kind of Scary
The North Carolina Tar Heels nearly stumbled over their own feet on Wednesday night and lost to Davidson. However, when the final horn sounded, the world had turned back on it's axis and everything was at peace. Translation -- North Carolina squeaked out the win, thanks to a huge effort from Wayne Ellington. However, was it omen? Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing? Jesus, does it even matter? A win is a win right? The chance to go un-defeated still exists right?
So many questions to ask and simply not enough answers in the hopper to answer. If it's any consolation this loss would NOT have been the end of the world. Why? Well, for one it's November and not March. Also, worthy of note the 2005 National Champions lost to un-ranked Santa Clara in their season opener. Of course, point guard Raymond Felton didn't play in that game. And as many recall, Felton was the catalyst that made that team roll. His significant foul trouble against Villanova in the Sweet 16 that same year, nearly cost the Heels.
And essentially the same thing can be said of the 2007 Tar Heels. The most noteworthy item observed in watching this game was that this team will go only as far as Ty Lawson carries them. Yes, it's Lawson and not Hansbrough or Ellington that is going to get this team over the hump. This is College Basketball, it's all about the Point Guard play. Lawson suffered through foul trouble, failed to record an assist and was basically a ghost on the court. Hence, the Tar Heels struggled to put the kibosh on poor little Davidson.
So, take from it what you will, but this season is all about Lawson. I hope you got some big shoulders...kid.
It's the Little Things: Why We Pay to Go the Games
While the $8 beer may be reason enough for many sports fans to prefer the comforts of Keystone Light and the couch, it's important to remember some of the great little things that make going to the stadium or ballpark so much fun. Many a sports writer have written about the sounds, sights, and spectators that make paying $75 bucks for game and a decent buzz worthwhile, but we aren't exactly talking about the crack of the bat today. Nope. Today, we're looking at the details of the seedy underbelly of live sports that make the live game experience extra special.
Snot Man - We've all sat by this fellow at least once. Often times it's gets cold and windy in there, especially toward the end of football season. When this happens,there is always the one really nice guy who chats it up for the duration of the game, not once noticing the drip of runny snot dangling from the end of his nostril. It's unfathomable how he doesn't feel it, but it's there the entire game.
"Sit Down And We'll All See" Guy - This guy is a "huge fan" who likes to take notes and addresses everyone on the field on first name basis. For some reason though, he refuses to stand up and will gladly yell at anybody who stands in his way.
The Pee Wall - Forget the trough, I like the whole wall with the sprinkler system trickling down (i.e., Michigan Stadium). You pretty much just walk in the door and fire at will - no aim necessary. With the exception of the middle of the floor, anywhere in the room is fair game.
The Wall Street Journal Couple - Why these two come to the game is way beyond me, but they just sit there and read the Journal the whole day. They make for endless amusement though in the form of pointing, laughing, and dropping some wicked sub-prime mortgage jokes.
"What a Dick" Kid - Nothing sucks more than this as a kid. You rush over to the quick forming crowd around a potential autograph, wait there shaking your stupid picture or card around for ten minutes, and then get dissed with the, "Sorry guys, gotta go warm up" line. Well, just because these are kids, do not be surprised if one of them curses out the player because he is pissed about the snub and calls him a dick.
Fruity Costumes - Grown men dressed as pro wrestlers, aluminum foil body armor, and my personal favorite, the fan eye-black.
White Trash Costumes - Starter Jackets, Zubaz, and the entire line of "That Fitted Is Hot, Son" hats. The best part of the white trash costume folks is they are also frequenters of emphatic, outdated jive, like "Adrian Peterson is nots to be fucked with. Nots to be fucked with." (hits fist to fist with friend).
Gameday Entrepreneurs - Where else can selling cliche' t-shirts (i.e., Hart Attack, InVinceAble, and Marburst), freestyling reggae, allowing boob grabs, grilling ribs, selling Jager shots, and parking cars on the sidewalk all provide a large profit to local entrepreneurs? I guess most bars would work, but you get the point.
Morning Drinking - 'Nuff said.
All-American Profile: Chris Lofton
Name: Chris Lofton
Vitals: Point Guard of the Tennessee Vols.
Goal: National. Championship.
Favorite Food: Pudding
Favorite Animal: Prairie Dog
Favorite Sneaker: Air Force 1’s
High School: Mason County Royals
NBA player your game resembles: Chauncey Billups
What motivates you: Not being recruited by Kentucky or Louisville makes me want to fuck them up anytime they are on my schedule.
Famous person you’d like to meet: Nobody
If you weren’t a basketball player you’d be: I am a Basketball player by nature, I know nothing else.
Favorite TV Show: I don’t watch TV.
Favorite Snack: Fruit Roll-Ups.
Favorite Hobby: Bowling
Fill in the blank. Bruce Pearl is (blank): A crazy ass white dude.
Best part about playing College Basketball: The fans, the cheerleaders, March Madness, Dickie V, it’s all good.
Life after Basketball: A coach.
Two words that sum you up: Heart and Fire.
Other profiles:
Tyler Hansbrough
Drew Neitzel
#9 - Lou Reed "New York"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn't be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.Lou Reed - New York
"It's like my painter friend Donald said, 'stick a fork in their ass and turn 'em over, they're done.'"
Overview: If Bob Dylan is the great poet of our generation, then Lou Reed is the storyteller. Lou Reed's New York is a bit of a departure for this list. While the music is great with Lou Reed's sort of minimalist-somber-catchy sound, it's the lyrics that earned this album its spot on the top ten. This is the sort of album that inspires incredible zoning out and daydreaming. Lou Reed tells such a vivid story in these songs that it tends to cause you to visualize the whole story rather than just listen to the music while you go about reading the paper.
Where and When to Listen: The recommended time and place to listen to New York is definitely driving alone (or walking alone if you got no ride) at night. It's undoubtedly nighttime music and you need to be able to complete zone out in your head. The music itself is pretty good for background or social environments, but it's way more fun to really pay close attention. Most likely, you'll forget what you were doing before.
GoWF Connection: I have an embarrassing anecdote related to this album. As I mentioned, New York is a great album for daydreaming. Well, one day I listened to "Xmas in February" and dreamed up what I thought was some elaborate lyrics that compared the gang street violence of the late '90s to the Vietnam War. Well, clearly I thought it was cool, because I actually entered it in one of those John Lennon songwriting contests that are always advertised in Rolling Stone and the like. I'm sure it was painful and tried way to hard to be all poetic, but you get the idea. Listening to the lyrics of Lou Reed's New York is somehow inspiring.
Key Musical Highlights: “Dirty Boulevard” is the most rockingest song on the album and provides a lasting reference, "He's goin' out... on the Dirty Boulevard." It basically serves as a metaphor for anyone who's got their shit all out of whack and is going to end up on their ass. Last Great American Whale is a great commentary on the state of the environment (ahead of its time) as it talks about a guy who will "shit in river and dump battery acid in a stream." The really musical highlight is just Lou Reed's voice. It's on this album where he fully embraces just talking in harmony with the music that sounds really good. Since he is really just talking, any subtle increases in the vocal energy really translate into exciting uplifting choruses.
Who you’re likely to meet if you're wearing this t-shirt?
It's a toss up really. I could see some random tourist form Italy coming up to say "great album" or perhaps a kinda strung out lady with crazy hair and damaged circuitry. I'm willing to bet, whoever it is would be interesting to sit down with for a beer as they will definitely have a story to tell.
Overall: Overall, this is a concept album that succeeds in its ode/criticism of New York City. Lou Reed is a NYC institution, thus his "love letter" as some call it, serves as his crowning achievement in my mind. Further, while Lou Reed pays tribute to his beloved city here, he also bashes Americans and their mishandling of the environment, poverty, international affairs, and their treatment of their neighbors. All told, love him or hate him, Lou Reed gives you a lot to think about with New York and that is why we are proud to include it not only in the GoWF Top 101, but in the Top 10.
Great Quotes in Coaching History
I suspect you are probably expecting some moving citations from the one and only Vince Lombardi given the title of this post. Well, we will see where this baby goes, but the inspiration for this is my JV High School football coach.
The man known to all as "Dooner" was a legend in my town. I guess it was primarily because he was massively inappropriate, racist, and really really old, but everybody still liked playing for him. It dawned on me the other day that kids these days probably never get to experience a true crazy loon as a coach like this anymore. There is no way parents would allow this type of stuff to go on anymore without raising a PTA meeting to demand an old dirty codger's job - it's a bit of a shame too. So, as a tribute of sorts, here are a few of the more memorable of these inappropriate quotes that have provided me with endless material for the past 15 years and counting.
When someone would miss a block in practice and a D Lineman would make a tackle in the backfield.
"God Damnit Beline, he went through you like shit through a tin horn."
When our defensive tackle,who was born in South Korea, jumped off sides on a two count and slaps his hands on his helmet for making a mistake.
"God Damnit Saurek, would you please just go back on the boat you came on?"
When he blasts a fart in front of the whole team.
Looks up to the sky like he is looking for something and says, "Did anyone see the duck?"
Hmmmm. It's funny when he says it. Oh well.
Unfortunately, while his words of wisdom and coaching style were truly inspirational and moving, they couldn't compete with the temptation of the downtown brown, Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle, and NHL '94 for Sega Genesis. My prowess on the football field would end after JV year. The words weren't enough and the Wolverines were saddened to hear that Tom Brady and Drew Henson would have to find a new target for their senior seasons, but in the long run it worked out best for everyone.
Anyway, as long as we're here, we might as well keep it going with some other amusing coaches' quotes. After all, what would a GoWF post be without a list.
"The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided." - Casey Stengel
"Potential means you ain't done it yet." - Darrell Royal
"Just give me 25 guys on the last year of their contracts; I'll win a pennant every year." - Sparky Anderson
"The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen." - Bob Lemon
"If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball." - Phil Jackson
"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things." - Bob Knight
"On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job." - Lou Holtz
"I am a leader who happens to coach basketball. When they get out into the workplace, they're armed with not just a jump shot or a dribble. I want you armed for life. I want you to develop as a player. I want you to develop as a student, and I want you to develop as a human being. My life isn't about playing games. That's why my card is American Express." - Coach K
"Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble." - John Madden
Sources
Coaching Quotes
MSNBC
John Madden Quotes
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
All-American Profile: Drew Neitzel
The College Basketball season has started. Where have you been? Dick Vitale is still thawing from his cryogenic freeze, so all is quiet for right now. Well, yesterday we introduced our bit for the week where we meet and greet with some of the potential All-Americans around the College Hoops landscape (fictionally, of course). And so today, we bring a very special guest to the table with another installment of player profiles. If you will, give a warm welcome and tip your glasses for Drew Neitzel. Now, let's get the pulse of what's happening with Drew and what this dude is all about.
Name: Drew Neitzel
Vitals: Senior. Combo Guard. 6’0” 180 LBS with a whole lot of heart, will and determination.
Who he is: A “leader” with assassin like shooting reflexes, a predator on the Basketball court. Clutch.
School: Michigan State Spartans.
Nicknames: D-Nice, D-Nizzle, Nites Out, Honkey, Nitro, Drew Nizzy, D-Nasty, Big Daddy Drew(oops!)
Hometown: G-mutha fuckin’ Rap, lower eastside called Wyoming Park.
Favorite Food: Taco Bell
Favorite Beverage: Mad Dog 20/20
Favorite Cereal: Frosted Flakes
The Best part about playing College Baskeball: Erin Andrews. That ass, those tits, umm, umm.
If you weren’t a Basketball Player you’d be: A Gangster. Gang Bangin’ in the streets, but I’d still play street ball and run them courts in G-Raps.
Favorite Movie: New Jack City
Favorite Car: 6-4 Impala
Favorite Song: All Eyez on Me - Tupac
Favorite Animal: Pit Bull or a Cheetah
People say you look like: Dr. Evil
Playstation 3 or Xbox 360: PS3
Favorite Quote: "I hit it and I quit it. Black man doin' his thing baby."
Two Words that sum you up: Dog. Balls.
Monday, November 12, 2007
He Has Fallen, He Will Rise Again
The Purple Reign has come to a screeching halt...for now. It didn't look good, shit it looked scary. I lost two things this weekend. I watched a flat screen TV die before my very eyes and I saw my hopes and Fantasy Football dreams go down in the third quarter of what was shaping up to be just a mediocre game against the Green Bay Packers. And to be honest, I'm not sure which loss hurt worse. In hindsight, the injury to the man we all know as "Purple Jesus" or "All Day"...or any such name you may have in terms of relevant greatness, wasn't all that bad. Thankfully! Well, you can't break records every week.
In fact, despite losing Adrian Peterson for at least one game, it's simply not the end of the world. Peterson could and probably will be on the shelf for at least 2 weeks, but if you haven't already done so in your Fantasy Football league -- you should pick up Chester Taylor -- now!!! Will he walk on water or break bread like AP was doing? Probably not, but Chester wasn't all that bad of a Fantasy starter just one short year ago. And once you factor in the gluttony of close to 25 carries per game behind that dominant offensive line...the sky isn't exactly falling in on you anymore.
Sure, I'm with you...I felt the pain. I got the taunting text messages and voicemail's from a handful of people in my "Friends and Enemies" league, but what could I do? There was that initial wave of panic, but then I re-grouped and snagged Taylor. If anything he'll be a perfect filler until the savior returns. Maybe by the time "All-Day" gets back somebody will have closed to within 100 yards of his rushing lead.
Funny, that will just be added incentive for AP to simply go out again and obliterate any defense put in front of him for the remainder of the season. Oh yeah, and that just happens to coincide with the Fantasy Playoffs. So, relax and breathe easy with me if you own Adrian Peterson. We'll get through this and for those laughing in the wake of the lord, judgement day will come. This Purple Reign is far from over.
#5 - Pearl Jam "Ten"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
Pearl Jam - Ten
"Clearly I remember, picking on the boy…seemed a harmless, little fuck."
Overview: The launch of the grunge era can be relived through the many phenomenal albums released during its prime in the early 90's. Most proponents would argue that Nirvana actually initiated grunge music and took it further than anyone else with the groundbreaking “Nevermind.” And despite the overall respect we do have for that album, we’d much rather say um, nevermind and hello to Pearl Jam’s “Ten.” There’s always going to be a lingering debate on such a notion, but for the sake of this being “our” call…we are squashing the conversation here.
“Ten” broke through and resonated on many different levels. Pearl Jam was always a touch less edgy than Nirvana. The album “Ten” was carried by a deep soul and backbone, with anthem like songs we always seemingly sing aloud and relate well with. The soothing and solemn voice of Eddie Vedder wasn’t quite like anything we’d heard. It made such an impression on folks that Scott Stapp of Creed has tried to copy it for years. Shameful Eddie never put a patent on the voice. Anyhow, “Ten” marked the debut of a different kind of heavy rock, one with feelings and emotion.
Key Musical Highlights: Pretty much all of it, but this is where it gets tricky. The song “Jeremy” was revered as the most commercially successful track on the album. Yet, many would argue the band’s epic ballad “Black” is what completely and religiously converted them to Pearl Jam. However, to pick one selection as representation for this album, it’d have to be “Alive.” That song was and is as close to an anthem in the Pearl Jam catalog as it gets.
Where and When to Listen: It’s hard to gage where this album ranks amongst the casual music fan these days. It’s certainly fallen from graces in many circles, but mainly just do to it being on the fringe, much too new to be classic rock, but too old to be considered cool to throw on at your afternoon BBQ. It’s by no means an offensive record, but it might just be one of those chill-out and run back down memory lane, alone with your headphones jam sessions. Tough call.
Who you’re likely to meet if you're wearing this t-shirt?
Well, you probably wouldn’t ever be able to actually tell if somebody was really wearing a Pearl Jam shirt or not, because chances are it’d be covered up by a flannel shirt. That’s a bad joke, but anyway I’m not sure what the market is for rock t-shirts anymore these days. I promised myself I’d stop wearing tie-dye’s and rock shirts once I hit 30. So far, so good.
Lasting Impression: Eddie Vedder. His voice, his lyrics, his emotion, his soul…you are seeing the foundation of something great and lasting in Rock n’ Roll taking place.
Overall: To circle the wagons once again, it’s essentially a matter of preference and a coin toss on who you like or liked better, Pearl Jam or Nirvana. For us, the call was and is Pearl Jam. And the album “Ten” was the bit of refreshing rock that forever changed the landscape of music. It was a fixture in tape decks and CD players in the early 90’s and that’s why it’s made the cut on the Ghosts Top 101…EVER.
#99 - Motley Crue "Shout at the Devil"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil
“It has been written ‘Those who have the youth; have the future.’ So come now children of the beast; be strong and Shout at the Devil."
Overview: The album begins like a friggin' horror movie with a creepy introduction speech by Nikki Sixx. It'd be easy to think you're about to dive into a Satanic gospel when you first pick up the album, but that's hardly the case. This album is a slap of adrenaline, a red bull and vodka with a bump of cocaine. It's glamorous hard rock, disguised by some angry looking dudes. In fact, it’s quite possible that it cocaine that carries the spirit of the album as these were the binge days for Vince, Mick, Tommy and Nikki.
The Crue always tried to look like hard asses and give off the impression with the title that this album was a statement of rage. However, after you invade a song like “Too Young to fall in Love” you realize this album was all about Sex and Drugs. And this fits right into the fast paced L.A rockstar lifestyle the Crue has lived throughout their musical careers.
Key Music Highlights: After Sixx's intro the album explodes into the title track, "Shout at the Devil." The radio friendly and MTV video "Looks that Kill" feeds the bender. Several other angst ridden jams culminate into the semi-ballad "Too Young too Fall in Love." Arguably, Vince Neil's screeching vocals are the driving force behind the album from start to finish.
Who you’re likely to meet if you're wearing this t-shirt?
A slut. A dirty, dirty slut, who just happens to be a used and washed groupie that we’d better like to call; damaged goods. I mean let’s face it, Motley Crue pulled ass consistently in their "better" days. However, you rarely see most folks wandering around with Motley Crue t-shirts, but rock it...if you got one.
Lasting Impression: The album cover. 4 men in make-up and torn spandex with the eternal fires of hell ablaze behind them. It’s hard to fathom there actually talent agents and PR people back in the 80’s. I mean who gave the green light on this photo shoot?
Overall: I know we'll probably take some flack for this one, but I don't care. Motley Crue released some of the finer metal albums of the 80's glam-metal era. Whatever drugs the Crue was on at this stage of their career; it sure translated into a heavy metal album for the ages that has withstood the test of time. And that folks is why this album makes the cut on the Ghosts Top 101.
And just for the bonus, enjoy "Looks that Kill" the music video.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
What's Playing on Matt Millen's iPod?
Matt Millen is doing the bull dance, feelin' the flow. After years of scrutiny, criticism, and demands for his job from Detroit fans, Millen is finally riding on easy street. The Detroit Lions are the Cinderella story of the NFL and continue to improve. Well, Matt Millen is finally starting to grin about his little brainchild. Most experts thought that this would be the last straw for Millen, but he has risen to the task. The team is barreling ahead with a winning record and barring a complete collapse, we should see Detroit in the playoffs for the first time since I got my driver's license.
Well, Millen is basking in his own self-indulgent glory and is ready to take his pride and joy, the Ford Windstar, out for a cruise, pop on some good tunes, and enjoy the sunshine. One of Millen's favorite pastimes is his "me" time out in the Windstar cruising along some windy roads and soaking up the master craftsmanship.
Surely everyone is wondering what the puppeteer behind the scenes of the Detroit Lions success story is listening to to unwind. So, let's all hop aboard the Windstar, sit back, and soak up the sounds of Matt Millen.
Aerosmith - Livin' on the Edge
When Millen gets in the Windstar, it's time to get loose, baby. He likes to put that roadster to the test. Whether that means putting the pedal to the metal on I-94 or rolling down the windows and heading to Flint, a little Aerosmith really pumps him up. It's not odd for him to get a little Terets and yell out profanities in the ghetto. The Windstar makes him feel just bulletproof.
Faith - George Michael
When George comes on, so do the sunglasses and off goes the shirt. Now it's time to pick up the guys and head for Orange Mocha Frappuccinos. When everybody doubted his bizarre front office moves, George Michael told him time after time, "You Gotta Have A Faith A Faith A Faith."
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
The man loves wide receivers and Cyndi helped him make the right decision. When everyone else said, "We need help in the secondary, the line is too soft, and it's time for a franchise QB," Cyndi knew just what to say to keep trying on the receivers. "If you fall, I will catch you, I will be there. Time after time." Plus, Millen is allegedly a big Captain Lou Albano fan and he stars in the video for this 80s Millen fave.
Me Against the World - Tupac
"I got Nothin' Ta Lose, It's Just Me Against tha World Baby." When Millen starts feelin' the G, he pumps up the subs and heads to 8 Mile.
Go ahead, move with it if ya need to. It helps me.Road of the Righteous - Dropkick Murphys
This is one of Millen's wiser manipulations. He needed a tune to pump up Kitna when he picks him up from Church on Sundays before the game. This way they can rock out the Windstar and get pumped, while still saluting the Lord.
Loner - Ekoostik Hookah
This is Millen's favorite singalong jams for a long road trip. He's not about go get shitcanned and roll up to Wendys in the raw, but he might spark a jib if he's got a long straightaway on Highway 80 through Nebraska on the way to Mile High Stadium. "I'm a Loner. I am a Lo oh oh oooooh ner. Won't you please leave me alone... And you may ask me, how did you get that tan Matt? I say out on the beaches of life boy. Matt Millen on the lead guitar ladies and gentlemen, Wooo!"
Redemption Song - Bob Marley
When you lose it's all your fault. When you win, it the coach and the players turning it around. Millen just can't win. This old standby helps him clear his head after a tough bashing by the media and Fire Millen signs Ford Field. The man needs redemption. "Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, None but ourselves can free our mind. Won't you help to sing, These songs of freedom? - 'Cause all I ever have - Redemption songs"
Manic Monday - The Bangles
Hey, how about a Monday Night game ESPN?
Your Song - Elton John
Finally, Millen likes to end every cruise with an introspective tribute to his very most special friend, Calvin. Matt Millen is not quick to forget the hardship it takes to find Mr. Right. Wide receivers come a dime a dozen, but finding the one with the perfect size, speed, work ethic, and selflessness to be a part of the best receiving corps in the league - those come just once in a lifetime. "I have ya don't mind. I hope ya don't mind. How wonderful life is when you're in the world."
All-American Profile: Tyler Hansbrough
With our favorite time of the Sporting Calendar now upon us, it must mean that College Basketball Season is just about to or has already tipped off. And instead of giving a long drawn out and not so insightful analysis of the season, we figured it'd be a much better use of your time and our time to just do a series of meet and greets with some of the top players in the country. Today's profile is the one and only, Tyler Hansbrough of North Carolina. Let's get this thing going and check out the vitals on the pre-season All-American himself.
Name: Tyler Hansbrough.
School: University of North Carlina Tar Heels.
Class: Junior.
Position: F/C
Nickname: dumb hick, redneck, Psycho "T"
Favorite Food: Oatmeal
Favorite Beverage: Mountain Dew
Where to find you on Friday night: Waffle House
Favorite Outfit: Dockers with an Old Navy Fleece
If you weren't a Basketball Player you'd be: Bass Fisherman or Professional Angler
Favorite Candy: Mint Skoal.
Famous Person you'd like to meet: Burt Reynolds.
People say you look like: Sinead O'Connor
Favorite Movie: Zoolander
Favorite CD: John Cougar Mellencamp "Scarecrow"
Favorite Hobby: Ping-Pong
A quote that best describes you: "Pain don't hurt" - Dalton, Roadhouse.
NBA Player you look up to: Brian Cardinal, he's just like me.
Two words that sum you up: Horse Cock
Friday, November 9, 2007
Loose Ends: Meet the Fockers and the Picks Edition
Ah, the weekend can't ever come soon enough. A long week behind the bars many of you know better as the cubicle.
This should be an interesting weekend as it's Meet the Fockers time in NYC this weekend. That's right, the rents are in town for some wedding planning fun.
The weekend looks to be pretty good for college football, for those of us who aren't too busy picking out color schemes and contemplating how bad it hurts to exit a taxi going full speed on Madison Avenue. The USC-Cal game gets top billing here and should solidify, well nothing. The big Auburn-Georgia game should be fun as always if you're, you know, southern. Last nights win for West Virginia should rev up the BCS talks for the Mountaineers. And of course, there is a big game in Madison. Oh baby. Come on Big Blue, win one more and we got an undefeated showdown with the Buckeyes at home. Holy crap. Alright, one game at a time. One game a time. Sorry Stan, the Spartans' season is officially in the crapper.
Presumably something is happening with A-Rod, but I know one person who doesn't give a shit.
In more important news, Jimmy at SI's Extra Mustard, interviewed Erin Andrews - that lucky bastard. Nice work Jimmy. I can only wonder if she has perhaps, just maybe clicked GoWF link on one of her visits to Extra Mustard as she has said on multiple occasions that she is a big fan and Jimmy has been nice enough to hook us up with links from time to time.
I'm officially absorbed in the life of Micheal Oher (pronounced "Oar") as I'm almost finished with the new book by Michael Lewis, the Blind Side. I'm planning to do a book review thing in the next couple weeks as I have a few sports books that I liked over the last several months, but in true pre-jizz fashion, I thought I'd mention it because I love it already and it hasn't even ended. Check out this Michael Lewis interview and then go buy the book.
Finally, I leave you with a question. What do you say when you meet someone famous you really respect? Personally, I go with nothing. I have never met any of my super idols, but I always assumed if I met someone rad that I idolized at some point (Trey or Michael Jordan are the obvious one that I think of), I would probably just skip the ass kissing and all that and maybe say something funny if I think of a good joke, but probably avoid it altogether. I figure you are far more apt to blow it entirely and spend the rest of eternity feeling like a tool (it's happened once before with a certain lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers). Anyway, just wondered if anyone has any funny stories or anything like this.
On to Stan's winners...
KANSAS CITY (-3.5) over Denver
And the Priest shall be re-born. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord. In the words of Mr. Randy Watson, “can I get an amen?”
Buffalo (-3) over MIAMI
Not going to lie, I predicted the Bills to be my sleeper team in ’08. They’ve started slow, but are finally coming together. Take away the Dallas miracle and this is a 5-3 team.
PITTSBURGH (-9.5) over Cleveland
Sucker bet. I know my Cleveland buddies are going to latch onto the Browns this weekend like a coke whore.
St. Louis (+12) over NEW ORLEANS
You just can’t go from 0-4 ATS to all of the sudden being double digit favorite no matter whom you are playing.
Philadelphia (+3.5) over WASHINGTON
McNabb and his bum knee have one more chance to save the season. If not, Andy Reid will be heading home to the opium den for good after this season.
Minnesota (+6) over GREEN BAY
Bet against “All Day”…I can think of better ways to give my money away.
Chicago (-3) over OAKLAND
Got a friend from Chicago actually flying out for this game. He suggested I hop on a Southwest for the game. No thanks.
Detroit (-1) over ARIZONA
God vs. Jesus. (Kitna vs. Warner). Who’s who? The Lions renaissance is happening before our very eyes and somewhere in suburban Saginaw Charles Rogers is smoking some good ass brick weed with a tear drop in his eye. Don’t fuck with destiny…the Lions win.
The Odd Couple: Millen and the Intern "The Golf Outing"
Editors Note: Returning where we left off with the running series "Millen and the Intern." Yes, the famed and now somewhat mysterious much maligned GM of the Detroit Lions and his intern are still around. In case you missed how this all began, here is the back story. And today's adventure finds the pair relaxing in Arizona before the Lions play the Cardinals this weekend.
A Golf Course somewhere near Scottsdale, AZ
Our buddies are riding around in a golf cart and soaking in the Arizona sun on a peaceful afternoon of some golf.
Millen: Put me down for a “5” on that last hole.
Intern: You sure you had a 5---
Millen: Don't fucking question me, my track record is indicative enough proof of what an established man I am. Would the face of the 6-2 Detroit Lions fib or lie? What are you trying to accuse me of...cheating? You smug prick, wipe that grin off your face.
Intern: Got it.
Millen: Damn straight you got it skippy. I’ll tell you...it don’t get much better than this does it?
Intern: No Sir.
Millen: Yup, just getting out and enjoying mother nature’s gift of fine weather and hitting some sticks. Remember though, this is strictly leisure golf. Nothing business related, I don’t want to hear what a great fucking GM I am. How I’ve “restored the roar” or how if I would only take over the Auto-Industry and work the same magic I’ve worked with the Lions, Detroit’s economy would pick up. You hear me…none of that shit. Send me an IM, blow hot air on my ballsac and tell me I’m great when this vacation is over.
Intern: Um, that would mean Detroit’s economy wouldn’t stabilize for at least another 5 or 6 years.
Millen: Why you smart ass, I oughta shove a wedge up your ass. Hand me my “5”…NOW!!!
Millen pauses looks down and lines up his shot. The Intern coughs.
Millen: Seriously, I can’t fucking concentrate when you are coughing in my back swing. Here what do you think, should I hit the “5” or the “7?”
Intern: I’d go with the 5.
Millen: Really, give me the 7…prick.
Millen lays up short.
Millen: Prick. You’re a cocky little son of bitch now aren’t you intern? Well, I got news for you…I’ll fuck your day up.
Intern: Affirmative.
Millen: Hand me my phone. Check this out, I can organize my Fantasy team right here on my Blackberry. Maybe, with my recommendation to the Ford Family you might actually become an actual employee in the Lions organization and I could get you one of these neat little devices. However, with your “hollier than thou” attitude on the course this afternoon, that’s not looking so promising. Check it out; I’m starting Kitna, Williams, Johnson, McDonald and Jones this weekend.
Intern: I don’t know, Kitna hasn’t been doing that great lately.
Millen: WHAT? Do you know Jon Kitna? Have you met Jon Kitna? The man is devout follower and disciple of the Lord. How dare you fucking insult the QB, I hand selected to lead this team.
(Awkward Silence)
Millen: When the cart girl comes back we need to get some Tuna Grinders. Give me two. This one is on your tab. I could eat the shit out of a Tuna sambo right about now. They always give me the shits, but god damn are they good.
The two approach the green and line up their puts. Millen abruptly farts as the intern is putting and busts into hysterics.
Intern: That putt was for par.
Millen: Wha-wha, you fucking baby. Be a man. I saw you hacking it up back there. Par, my ass.
Intern (mumbling under his breath): I'm not the one cheating.
Millen: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Intern: Nothing.
Millen: Exactly what I thought you fucking morsel --- Oh, there she is. Look at that fine little juicy ass. I'd devour and ravage that poor little cart girl, but you didn't here that from me.
Intern: Loud and clear.
Millen: Sunday bloody Sunday my friend. Can you believe that I will have engineered the Lions to a 7-2 mark by Sunday night? Who is laughing now? Who is the idiot now? Nobody is laughing anymore. I am the architect behind the Lions renisance. Speaking of which, I need to call my bookie...Wayne Fontes and drop some cash on the team this weekend.
Intern: It took you long enough.
Millen: That's about enough from you. Stop this cart and give my wedge, I'm gonna shove this thing up your ass.
Millen grabs his wedge and is foaming at the mouth.
Millen: I'm sorry bud, sometimes I just get so fucking tense about my team. They are like my baby. My "Big Baby." What do you say we go get a burger...my treat? God, I can't fucking wait until Sunday. Roar Restored. That message has been approved, by Matt "Fucking" Millen...prick.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
#89 - Slayer "South of Heaven"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
Slayer - South of Heaven
“Screaming soul sent out to die, Living mandatory suicide. Suicide.”
Overview: It’s hard to use the word “masterpiece” when speaking about a death metal record. However, when it comes to “South of Heaven” we can say that it’s musical mastery in its purest and most demonic form. Slayer definitely skips under the radar on most sane and/or mainstream music fans. However, this album delivers so many revelations for an angry youth who is willing to explore the gospel of Satan. The funny thing is that this album really has not much to do with the devil at all, despite what the title would lead one to believe.
The true essence of this album captures an eerie Black Sabbath feel in its core musical foundation. The lead guitar work from Tommy Araya is constantly chased by the backbreaking drum speed of the unheralded Dave Lombardo. Say what you will about your preferences for or against Heavy Metal, but these are unquestioned talented musicians. I always dug on this album for the music not the message. It’s arguably the most mature and refined, yet still refreshingly disturbing album that Slayer ever produced.
Where and When to Listen: Preferably alone, because let’s face it; unless you’re carving the word Slayer into your arm and setting it of fire for marking…you probably aren’t playing this album at your next party. It’d also be a useful tool just before you are planning to beat the shit out of somebody, drinking heavily, working out, drinking blood, eating a meat shake, burning something or planning a sacrifice. I joke, I kid.
Key Musical Highlights: “Mandatory Suicide” is the albums crowning achievement. This song stands so bold on its own, not just by title, but also by the musical substance. I never really did analyze the lyrics to the song for various reasons, such as I wanted to keep my sanity and I didn’t really think it would be a good moral to discuss.
Who you’re likely to meet if you're wearing this t-shirt?
Well, a Slayer shirt doesn’t exactly reek of “come fuck me” cologne towards the ladies. I mean you wouldn’t want to be caught dead near a Catholic Church…or a nightclub in a Slayer t-shirt. However, it’s not a bad shirt in a strange, twisted, vintage kind of a way…I guess.
Lasting Impression: Cover Art. Clearly, Slayer was always pushing the envelope with their satanic designs. I can’t quite tell if they were trying to send a message or if the whole Skull with the Devil’s pentagram was done for effect. If you are like me and you own this album or any other Slayer album; the first rule is to always hide any Slayer album when you are having a lady over. It’s fine, just enjoy the album in peace, but keep it to yourself.
Overall: Slayer was and is a guilty pleasure of mine. This album always brings me back to when I smoked my first cigarette. Anyhow, I never picked up smoking, but I picked up Slayer. Lyrics and gore aside, this is a uniquely gifted band that probably gets a black cloud cast upon them for their obvious satanic undertones. However, one shouldn’t ever let that scare them from solid music. And that’s why this one cracks the Ghosts Top 101.
Why Is It So Easy to Hate These Guys?
A while back you may recall, we rolled out an installment of the very coolest of cool when it comes to white dudes that can play hoops. Well, today we are flipping the script just a tad and bringing you the very "un-coolest" of un-cool when it comes to white dudes that have attempted to play ball. Ironically enough, they all tend to share one common trait; they all played for Splinter himself at Duke. With College Hoops rolling right around the corner, what could be a more fitting time?
So, rally with me Duke haters and Duke defenders, but you're going to have a hard time arguing the list of the utmost in un-cool white dudes to ever lace 'em up. My apologies and regards go out to Dick Vitale for if he were to read this very piece his head would rotate in circles on a swivle that is his neck. Oh wait, it does that already. Anyhow...on to the list.
When compiling such a refined list as this it can be a pretty rigorous task. The problem isn’t necessarily figuring out who to add, but rather who not to add. With so many choices to be made, at times the whole process can flip into information overload. There are just so damn many of these nerdy fucking dookies aren't there? For obvious reasons, I had to leave Christian Laettner and Josh McRoberts off the list? Why you may ask? Well, for one Laettner has been known to pull some ass in his day, remember Duff? And McRoberts, well I read somebody told me he was seen in US Magazine with L.C from the "Hills." Hence, the omission.
Ok, moving right along...
Lee Melchionni – A recent addition to the ever growing list and he should very well be proud to have made the cut. Melchionni was the ultimate garbage player when at Duke. He was also the ultimate antagonist and ever so annoying douche bag that, go ahead and raise your hand and admit you wanted to punch.
Mike Dunleavy Jr.– The question I always used to ask about Jr. was “did somebody take a shop vac and suck the skin and muscle tissue out of his face?” He looks very creepy and kind of like Skeletor. However, not to be biased solely on his looks, but he was very easy to despise in his playing days at Duke. 
I do have to give the man his due credit, he had game. He was a certified back breaker for any anti-Duke fan like myself, watching as he sank countless three balls from the corner. His ability to glide in the lane unscathed on a routine basis was enough for me to pull my hair out. The Larry Bird comparisons during his freshman season are what pushed me over the edge and made Jr. a feature in this column. Personally, I would trade all my basketball skill in the world to not have to walk through life with a sunken in cave-like structure of a face, but that’s just me.
Besides, after that last sentence…its official, I’m going to hell, see you there.
Bobby Hurley – Ok, I won’t be as harsh on little Boobsy for obvious reasons. The image of him racing for Coach K and raising his right arm, almost in Hitler-esque fashion when they finally one the National Championship, still stings me today. It’s like I was on that Kansas team that lost to Duke in the title game.
There were countless times I pounded my fist on a wall or asked myself “why” during Bobby Hurley’s career. Like many hated Duke players, he was notorious for that back breaking play that just left you gasping for air. Is that becoming a theme of this column? One side note on Bobby, I am pretty sure he played Hans Klopek in one of my favorite movies “The Burbs.”
Jon Scheyer - Only 3 more years of pleading with my television for him to please keep his mouth from hanging wide open when he makes any kind of attempt at a Basketball move. And for God sakes, hit the weight room kid.
Danny Ferry – The original most hated Dookie of all-time on my list. I have a more vivid recollection of Danny Ferry hitting a game winning free throw in Chapel Hill in 1988, then what I did last weekend. I guess you could consider it a battle scar. Do I take things too personal at times? Probably, but who cares. Ferry, single handily killed it in virtually every big stage of his Duke career, sans the Final Four. From Ferry, I learned the phrase, “you love him if he’s on your team, you hate him if he’s not”, as it applied to him. Fuck, end it now. 
It all made perfect sense back then and no such phrase is more applicable to Danny Ferry. He was a nuisance, but nonetheless, he was a hell of college basketball player. I love stressing the word “college” with every player I profile. It has a nice ring to it.
Cherokee Parks – He's probably much better suited for the all-Duke goon team, because I really don’t have a strong hatred for him. However, I do like to laugh at him at times. He was dubbed as the savior of Duke Basketball in the post-Laettner era. Yet, he really never amounted to much of anything. He was a team captain and leading scorer of the 1994 team that went 2-14 in the ACC. That should give you a pretty good measuring stick of his importance. How'd that NBA Career turn out?
Matt Christiansen - (King Goon) A picture is often worth a thousand or a million words.
Shavlik Randolph - The Next Larry Bird? Inside/outside game with strong hands, great length, tremendous upside potential. Very, very long. Was that the Jay Bilas scouting report? Yup, it was.
Nick Hovrath - Wasn't he an extra in Deliverance?
Erik Meek - (King Gump) He was actually a regular in Coach K's rotation in the mid 90's. Of course, you may recall Rasheed Wallace consistently dunking on him and making a constant mockery of MEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!
Marty Clark - Loved the Buzz cut buddy. Why did you ever lose it?
Chris Collins – He is like the Rudy of Duke Basketball, although he was not a walk on, he still had that feel to him. Somehow, I could just picture Coach K giving him that famous Rudy speech. “Your five feet nothing, without an ounce of athletic ability.” After Collins worked his ass off for three seasons, he finally had arrived by his senior year. And Coach K was able to have one of those special tear filled senior nights when he graduated. It was as if Coach K had created this amazing “college” basketball player from rubble.
Steve Wojciechowski (a.k.a WoJo) – I don’t mind little WoJo so much anymore, even though he wipes Coach K’s butt on the sidelines as an assistant with Chris Collins. However, that will never relinquish the years of torment he brought me when he was a player. To this day his nickname is the all-time favorite of Dick Vitale. He would actively seek out opportunities just to rattle of his name.
Disturbing to say the least, but not as disturbing as the “floor slap.” Anyone, who is a diehard College basketball fan, will never forget the floor slapping days of WoJo in the mid to late 90’s. It was more agonizing than hands screeching down a chalkboard. No matter if Duke was up by 20 or down by 20, after any big play WoJo was pounding that floor. He was a tenacious little fucker in that regard. How someone didn’t just turn and punch him in the heat of the moment, I will never know.
J.J Redick – Ok, I'm doing lay-up drills now. Welcome to the obvious section of the post. J.J's balls still hurt from Dickie V's 4 year rim job. And the tears of abandonment the day he left
Duke, still sting Coach K more intensely than the battle scars of Redick's poetry.
"No bandage can cover my scars. It's hard living a life behind invisible bars"
"My hopes and dreams shattered by the miscalculation of my own situation"
Is that Eminem? Where did he come up with that stuff? Correct me if I am wrong, but does his tough life consist of having grown up middle class in Virginia? Being given the opportunity to attend one of the most prestigious academic schools in the country on a scholarship to compete and excel in athletics?
"I went blow for blow, I went face to face"
Do you think he's talking about Coach K...or when Shane Battier came down for Alumni weekend and stayed in his dorm room one night?
“A sharp thorn once cut my soul. The blood flowed, but no bandage would cover the wound. I couldn't help but stare at the distant moon. Waiting for a resolution to come at an instant soon.”
How does Redick's mom respond when she reads that shit? "J.J I don't understand, I thought we pampered you and kept you away from drugs and Slayer."
Shane Battier – The consummate leader and professional, so I'll spare from taking any cheap shots at the All-American kid. However, I ask you this…doesn’t he look kind of like a Shar Pei Dog?
Well, that's enough from me...my feet feel really warm and I think the eternal fires of hell are calling my name. So, if you'd do me the honors in the comment section, tell me I'm right or tell me you'd like to beat the shit out of me. I'm cool either way.
A Revitalizing Year For Big Ten Hoops
Over the past few years, the Big Ten has been the basketball equivalent of TCBY; decent enough in its own right, but melts down whenever things get heated, has pretty boring flavors, and is terrible when stacked up against the real thing. In other words, year after year, the Big Ten tends to get a lot of hype and looks alright during conference play, but when it’s tourney time, it’s a perpetual “upset.”. The reputation for being overrated in the rankings and not being able to compete with the elite conferences has become cemented in sports commentary over the past few seasons as under achievements have been rampant in recent seasons. Year after year, the Big Ten sends 5 or 6 teams to the tournament and year after year, a hefty number are sent packing in the first round to teams like George Mason, Northwestern State, and Virginia Tech.Don’t get me wrong, the Big Ten has kept up with some of the great teams of the last ten years including Mateen and Michigan State, Deron, Luther, and Dee at Illinois, and Oden and the Buckeyes, but broadly speaking, when’s the last time anybody outside the Big Ten fans really got excited about Big Ten basketball? Well, it looks like this could be a rebuilding year for the Big Ten – and in particular, a rebuilding of that interest level. For the first time in a while, there is really a lot to be excited about in Big Ten Hoops. For once, fans might actually stay awake until March.
For starters, the Big Ten has added three prime time coaches to the mix. Michigan has John Beilein taking over from West Virginia after a sordid relationship with the mock turtleneck. Beilein brings an exciting offense often loaded with perimeter shooting. Iowa snagged the highly coveted Todd Lickliter after his Butler team made a huger splash, going 29-7 and going all the way to the Sweet 16 for the second time in Lickliter’s 6 year tenure. And Finally, Minnesota secured the biggest of the show dogs, Tubby Smith from the University of Kentucky. Despite recent struggles, Tubby is a legend who will undoubtedly bring a sea change to the Minnesota program.
Besides the three new juggernaut coaches, the Big Ten still has Tom Izzo, Thad Matta, and Bruce “Nice F*cking Orange Jacket” Weber to boot. The list of Big Ten coaches in summation practically sounds better than half of the NBA Eastern Conference.
Also, the Big Ten isn’t getting so much preseason hype this year. Granted, they have 2 teams in the Top 10, Michigan State and Indiana, but no others graced the Top 25. Michigan State deserves it. Drew Neitzel, a sure fire contender for Big Ten players of the year, returns with the team intact from last season’s 23-12 squad and adds four top freshman. With Izzo at the helm, it’s hard not to start thinking about a national championship already. Indiana has the talent in D.J. White, but is a little more based on expectations and the hope of a freshman phenom, (hold on for one moment) so we’ll see if the hype is real soon enough for the Hoosiers.
Fear not, the loss of super-frosh Greg Oden and Mike Conley won’t be an issue either. This year will see a new crop of elite newcomers as well. Eric Gordon at Indiana is probably the biggest name to watch, a 6’4”, 215 pound guard, that some say is the best freshman and possibly the best guard in the country. Ohio State has a center coming in who is actually bigger than Oden at 7’0”. Obviously, you cannot replace Oden, but Korta Koutos is certainly worth keeping an eye on. He is not known to play as physical, but has good feet and touch on his shot. Michigan has high hopes for the state’s Mr. Basketball, Manny Harris and Purdue wrestled in the #7 recruiting class in the country.
So this season, with a little more underdog mentality, the Big Ten is sure to present some surprises. A rock solid corps of proven college coaches, fresh faces, and a wide open field should make for a far more compelling Big Ten season. Relative to the past few, there’s no place to go but up and this year, the conference looks to be headed back to the elite status it once enjoyed. For the first time in a while, it should be fun to watch as well.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
#12 - Herbie Hancock "Head Hunters"
Editors Note: Continuing with the ongoing series "The Ghosts proudly present the Top 101 Albums…EVER." Worthy to note this collection is comprised of OUR personal favorites and shouldn’t be used as a compass or declaration of what many music critics may have written or compiled in the past. This list is solely for the establishment and entertainment of, for and by the Ghosts. We will continue to randomly run our selections in no particular order. As usual, we encourage you to make us whole with your angst-ridden additions. Enjoy.
Herbie Hancock – Head Hunters.
Holy Funk.
Overview: There *may* have actually been a moment frozen in time where these kids in college were having fun on hallucinogen's and out of their minds. They were listening to the song "Chameleon" from Herbie Hancock’s Head Hunters record. And that’s when it hit them all, much like it hit Steve Martin in "The Jerk." They could dance and dance they did, just like it was mother fucking "Soul Train." Many would later speculate this led to a dance off and every robotic, hypnotic twist of the funk carried the competition, complete with a an aisle way for breaking it down. Not bad, for a bunch of white dudes and psychedelics. Of course, this may or may not have ever happened.
Anyhow, if you’ve ever picked up a copy of this deep dose of jazz funk, you’d probably understand the previous anecdote. That’s what Herbie Hancock delivers with his 4-track epic through the annals of space and funk. How those words often get linked, I’ve never been too sure. However, thinking about this album…the correlation now makes perfect sense.
Key Music Highlights: All of it. No seriously, all of it. "Chameleon" and "Watermelon Man" are the captivating "drive you" in selections, while "Sly" and "Vein Melter" are the "let’s see if you are still into this" encores that bring the album home.
Why should you own this album?
It’s edgy and experimental, yet easy to understand and engage. The bass line to "Chameleon" is riveting, catchy and lures many into shaking their ass. Its soul existence is the core and backbone of what eventually became of the funk genre. It’s Herbie and his electric hands, accompanied by the finest group of Jazz musicians. They border on the bizarre, creepy, but overall remain in brilliance. If you love Jazz this is an experiment you simply can’t bypass in your musical collection. There is just so much going on that it takes several listens to even comprehend just how gifted the music is presented, you've got to find the intricate nuances.
Lasting Impression: The introduction to "Watermelon Man"…it’s either going to freak you out or get you psyched. That alone should dictate where you go with this record.
Overall: Variety is the spice of life and this album carries a lot of weight around these parts. Herbie sheds a shit load of influence in many of the finer sounds you hear today. He reached out for this album and the results show just how deeply talented he and his crew really were. When it all boils down to it, this album just makes you feel the groove. And that’s why this one cracks the Ghosts Top 101.
Wait, What Drug Test?
This past week the sports community was inundated with yet another prime-time athlete being accused of using contraband- yawn right? Yet, this time the accusations took on a different tone, shocking the dozen or so fans of the WTA when tennis phenom Martina Hingis was accused of having trace amounts of cocaine in her system during this summer's previous Wimbledon.
The 27 year old Hingis had just made her triumphant return back to the limelight after a three year hiatus caused by several career-threatening ankle injuries. This past July she entered Wimbledon and made it to the third round before being ousted by Ai Sugiyama. It was sometime during this tournament that Ms. Hingis was summoned to submit a mandatory urine sample to the WTA pursuant to WTA policy. A few months later both split samples confirmed that Ms. Hingis had indeed been under the influence of cocaine sometime during Wimbledon. Soon after, not wanting to face critics or the WTA brass, Ms. Hingis chose to voluntarily retire from the tour- ending her twelve year career in which netted three grand slams, one of which made her the youngest woman ever to win a grand slam at the age of 16.
Now this story is not the first shocker to the WTA, back in the mid 90's American sensation Jennifer Capriati admitted to illicit cocaine use and addressed her problem by a brief sybattical brought on by a stint in rehab. A year later, Ms. Capriati made a come back breaking the top 10 on tour. It's not so shocking that Ms. Hingis was necessarily caught with drugs in her system- I think most people in the world can empathize with some substance issues that don't involve performance enhancing contraband- it's more that she decided to take the easy way out of this dilemma by throwing in the towel.
Not only did Ms. Hingis decide to throw in the towel, but she did so without expressly accepting responsibility for her actions. She has blanketly denied all allegations of drug use, and even hired an attorney to poke holes in the WTA drug testing policy. Citing a hair sample that was taken 2 months after Wimbledon, Ms. Hingis claims she has never used drugs and furthermore is, "100 percent innocent." The problem is that the hair sample is just an after thought to this whole saga. Cocaine will only stay in your system, minus addict frequency use, for a few days. Therefore a hair sample submitted months after the original sample is not proving anything other than the fact that after her initial test she wisened up and decided to stay off the substance.
It is known within the tennis industry that you can be randomly selected to participate in a drop at any given time. Therefore, if using contraband is on your calender, you should at least take a tournament off to remain clean, (please see Rafael Nadal's mysterious absence from a string of tournaments including the French Open, followed by his return; quicker, stronger and about 30 pounds of muscle bigger). Chances are Martina got arrogant and banked on not being selected for a drop during Wimbledon.
Well she got caught, and it makes me angry that yet another athlete cannot fess up to their own shortcomings. Like Floyd Landis, Ms. Hingis chose the easy way out by pointing fingers at the tour and the drug testing agencies involved. This is not a conspiracy. The world is not out to these athletes. Take your punishment, use the time off to get your head back in the game, and make a furious return. At 27, Ms. Hingis is walking away from a sport in which she still has the potential to dominate. Now her name, and her previous titles, hang out there for one to wonder if they are all tainted. The world can tolerate athletes with issues, but the it is tough to tolerate an athlete who categorically denies all allegations and retires. Now her name, like her cloudy piss, will always be tainted.
Fantasy Scope: The “All-Bust” Team
Every single year we always “think” we know the sure fire tickets to a Fantasy Football Championship. However, as maddening as the injury bug can be, so to can be our often lofty expectations. We listen to everyone proclaiming the “can’t miss” prospects, we read Brandon Funston, and we just know we are right. Come the night of the draft, we are locked in and asphyxiated on what we deem to be the “perfect” team. And then a few weeks into the season we are forced to make excuses for “what’s his name” and can only attempt to convince ourselves that our prize is not…GASP…a BUST.
Oh no, oh shit; how could this happen to me? You’ve vested a shit load of marbles into your upper tier/echelon selection of players. However, when just one of them fails to meet the statistical barometer many have bestowed upon them, the word “Bust” leaks to the surface. As anyone who has ever played Fantasy Football can attest, at some point or another you just have to deal with your “bust” in the best way possible for your team. Do you cut the bait and admit defeat or do you hold out for hope? That calls…is all yours.
And so, today I’m doling out the ring of honor for the first half Fantasy Football “All-Bust” Team. However, keep in mind that anyone of these guys could swing the momentum back in their favor and into your good graces at any moment this season. If you’re lucky enough to still be in Title contention holding one or more of these fading assets, take solace in the belief that they will play a vital part in your quest for the remainder of the season. And now, I give you the team.
QB – Marc Bulger
Sure, injuries and a decimated offense line have set the "Bulg" back quite a bit this season. It’s not helping his cause that his team is rocking an 0-8 mark. You have to ask yourself are things going to get better or get worse? Well, it’s not so easy to gage. Bulger came into this season as one of the legit Fantasy QB’s who is capable of tossing 300 yards and some six spots on occasion, but also rarely screws you over. He was loaded with a plethora of weapon’s at season’s start with an amped up Steven Jackson at RB, Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce and Drew Bennett at WR.
So where did it all go wrong? Don’t answer the obvious question, I know…the offensive line. Regardless, one has to wonder if Bulger is really all that bad. Remember in the pre-season when all the talk swirled around just how good the Rams were going to be? Obviously things didn't quite go as planned. And I'm by no means saying they are going to flip the script and go 8-0 down the stretch, but in terms of Fantasy Football, Marc Bulger could very well lead a 2nd half surge. Other than that...the bust label will stick for good.
RB – Steven Jackson
Ah yes, the pre-season promise of 1500 yards rushing and 1000 yards receiving. And that came from Jacko himself. Who wasn't sold on him being the undisputed #2 Fantasy RB? He finished strong to end last season and a glimpse of promise was thrust Jackson's way much like it was Bulger and the Rams as a whole. Granted in Jackson's defense he has only played about 3 and a half games, but injuries no doubt can and do contribute to the bust label.
Jackson has no doubt ravaged several Fantasy teams, but not mine...yet. Anyhow, it's really up in the air as to just what Jackson has left in the tank. His case, much like Bulger's depends on the Rams overall fortunes. If the line can't ever quite figure things out, the team keeps losing and Jacko is getting knocked around, he could hang it up for the season. However, if you've gotten this far without Jackson, even if he's even 75% of the player he was last season, that's the best mid-season pick-up you could ever ask for.
RB – Frank Gore
In Gore's defense his QB stinks, his offense is dull and boring, but still. Many had Gore pegged in the Top 5 RB's heading into the season. He hasn't exactly shown much of anything that would lead you to think he's going to snap out of the funk. Another case of minimal wear and tear and the usual nagging injuries, but on a team going nowhere, much like Jackson you have to wonder just what to expect from here on out. Gore was supposed to be something special this season, which has left many wondering what the hell happened?
WR – Steve Smith
A victim of circumstances beyond his control. Regardless, Steve Smith was the #1 WR in most Fantasy circles. The sad part about Smith is that he came out swinging to the start the season, scoring 5 TD's in the first two weeks of the season. Since that time it's been a complete spin south. And do we attribute that to Jake Delhomme going down? I never thought I'd say so, but the answer is a definitive yes.
What's the prognosis on Smith? I'd say not good, but it's still Steve Smith and he can erupt at anytime. Just keep in mind that his success is tied to David Carr and/or Vinny Testaverde. However, if you can buy low on Smith in your league...I can't advise against that.
WR – Chad Johnson
Boy, oh boy Chad...the many you have let down. You promised 2000 yards. Well, the reality of it all is that Chad may not be that big of a bust, but he's certainly not been the undisputed dominant WR most of us have known and loved. It's been an up and down season for Ocho Cinco and again, a lot of that coincides with just how miserable his team has become. The yards and production are there...to an extent. What's been missing is Chad getting into the end zone to celebrate.
And to make matters worse, most around Cincinnati have made Chad the goat for the Bengals problems. Now Chad is dealing with a neck injury, so you can't even be certain he's going to play the next few games. However, if he does...something tells me we've seen this act before. Chad starts slow, but finishes strong and there are more than likely several show stoppers left in the tank. After all, if the rumors are solid...Chad is going to auditioning for a new team the remainder of the season.
WR – Marvin Harrison
His injuries simply don't matter. Harrison is still Harrison. On the season he has only 20 catches for close to 240 yards and only 1 TD. So, he wasn't exactly on pace for your typical Harrison season. And each year he seems to slide a bit further, not that far, but nonetheless. Should we mention now that Reggie Wayne has long since passed Harrison as Manning's go-to target.
TE – Todd Heap
I guess this is every year, because isn't Heap always hurt?
K – Robbie Gould
I refuse to elaborate on a kicker, because it never really matters...does it?
DEF – Baltimore or Chicago
Flip a coin and take your pick. Last season these defenses were equally as valuable as some RB's. And what a difference a year makes, as this year you may find yourself playing the match-ups against these defenses, as opposed to avoiding them.
Now, if somebody gave you that roster in August and said that’s your squad boy, make do with it. You’d be cashing your prize money and throwing yourself a parade in honor of a 16-0 Fantasy Football season. Well, it’s funny how those “can’t miss” players tweak an ankle here, a rib there, a groin there or simply become a victim of circumstance. And this all the more proves that yes, skill goes a long way in Fantasy Football, but in the end you’d better have a lot of luck riding shotgun with you.
And for the record, if I could draft a mid-season team…I’d probably still take this collection. I’m more than convinced each and every one of these guys is going to get off the mat and prove a point. Thankfully, I’m working with a lot of these parts and am still in contention. Here’s to holding out hope and here’s to serving notice on all those unfortunate enough to keep league company with me…I’m winning this BITCH.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Tuesday's Gone...with the Links
A highly entertaining Monday Night Football game, if I must say so myself. Oh wait, it pretty much sucked. Well, note to ESPN and NBC; the most exciting team, highly endorsed by God himself isn't slated to be on your little prime time schedule at all this season. And that is exactly why we get stuck with shit platters like the Steelers vs. Ravens. Let me interject my first "I told you so" of the season, because it was I who claimed the Ravens would suck this season.
And thus, I turn away from the bitterness and toast to the finest of links around the web logs from the past week or so...that was. As always, enjoy and be sure to hit these links up, so it looks like we actually generate decent enough traffic to warrant our seldom running link edition. Does that make sense? Good.
Thank God, somebody points out the obvious...Boston fans are burning every one's nerves. (My Brain Says Rage)
Not a good week to a Michigan State Spartan...thanks for the reminder. (Sports By Brooks)
Not a big fan of the Sunday night NBC Studio Show, neither am I. (Sports Hernia)
Mark your calendars, Duke plays Notre Dame in two weeks. (Juiced Sports Blog)
Fuck it, I'm linking it. Another stone was cast in what looks like a soon to be Blogosphere at total war and chaos. Not saying he's right, but he's got the right to say what he wants. (The Grand National Championships)
Joe Torre heads west. (Burly Sports Blog)
More homage in video to Adrian Peterson. (We are the Postmen)
Short and sweet...now, go get that day.
We Question Your Motivation: HBO
It's been quite a while since a ran a "We Question Your Motivation" bit. Presumably, that is because it is the wriiten equivalent to drinking a cocktail comprised of hot milk and a fresh ground blend of Ambien and Xanax. Nevertheless, this is the outlet whereby our resident conspiracy theorist and corporate watcher gets a voice. It's purpose; to call out sketchy business decisions from the corporate world.
Today, the object of my defection is the usually beloved, HBO. I have long been a subscriber to the HBO On Demand service. Despite the miserable selection of films and completely ridiculous level of service interuptions, I appreciate the ability to watch the HBO original series whenever I feel like it. At this point, I feel that pretty confident that every show they create, I will enjoy.
Well, recently I found one I absolutely love. I'm sure most of you have already discovered the hilarity that is Flight of the Conchords, but I find these guys to be some of the smartest comedy out there right now. I love their music as well. They have an incredible sense of humor when it comes to emulating various sounds from different very discernible types of music and settings, including but not limited to space stations, Rivendell on the way to Mordor, Latino Dance videos, 80's Town of Dhanwan, and Footloose warehouse dancing.
So, the point is that this season just wrapped up a couple months ago, so naturally it should be available via HBO's On Demand for fans to catch up on any episodes they may have missed or rewatch some of the great ones. Is it there? Nope. You want to know why it's not and why I question HBO's motivation? It's bullshit. They know that the DVDs for this show are going to sell like mad. Thus, they chose to screw over their loyal On Demand customers who pay for this extra service for exactly this reason. I would say there have been no less than 15 times that I have checked in hopes that the episodes are up there to rewatch some of my favorites.
So thanks HBO for pouring hot diarrhea in the mouth of your most faithful customers in favor of selling a few extra DVDs. You can forget about this little stunt going unnoticed. It's official; you have been questioned by this all-powerful, all-seeing blog. You should never underestimate the value of a fan.
Anyway, since HBO ripped everyone off and prevented us from watching the show even though we pay for it, we'll leave with a youtube clip of one of the epics, Bowie to Bowie. It's just too bad we can't go watch the entire episode.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Let the Big Man Eat
It has to be the play of the year. In fact, for my money it has to be the single greatest play I've ever seen. And I'm not even slightly kidding, I'm dead serious. Shaun "Big Baby" Rodgers put the stamp and exclamation point on the Detroit Lions decimation of the Denver Broncos on Sunday. Good times and laughs were had all around Ford Field on this afternoon.The hysterics of the afternoon came when Big Baby picked off a Patrick Ramsey pass (he'd already knocked Jay Cutler out of the game) and took it 66 yards to the house. As the Big Man galloped down the field, he pushed his way to the finish line after a stiff arm to Selvin Young. He then leaped for a gorilla splash/collapse over the goal line. Several Lions players swarmed "Big Baby" in the end zone to make sure he was still alive and breathing. He motioned for oxygen and/or food, as the gesture looked more like a "feed me" signal. He found the oxygen mask on the side line, but undoubtedly treated himself to a well earned post game king's feast.
It was just one of those, you had to see it moments. However, it's simply a fitting cap on what was an all around "great" day to be a Lions fan. As always, Big Al from the Wayne Fontes Experience puts the day in perspective in his weekly recap. God's Team is for real at 6-2...where we go from here is yet to be seen. For now, enjoy the photo recap of "Big Baby's" scamper.
I love it when ya call me Big Poppa...
It was all a dream I used to read "Word Up" magazine...
A tee bone steak, cheese eggs and Welch's grapes...conversate for a few cause in a few we gonna do what we came to do ain't that right boo? True.
Biggie, Biggie, Biggie can't you see, sometimes your words just hypnotize me.
And That's Why We Call Him "All Day"
Good things tend to happen when Adrian Peterson touches the ball. Still not sold? Still not sure about this dude? Well, how does 296 "record breaking" yards and a TD hat trick sound? You can probably catch highlights, somewhere if you missed it. Or you could simply wait for the AP show on ESPN classic. And something tells me this might just be the beginning of many performances we'll see someday on the classic network.
Friday, November 2, 2007
The Loose Ends and Picks: We've Gotta Get Outta This Place Edition
It’s about damn time it’s Friday. It’s pretty amazing what one extra week without the time change can do. In one of the longest weeks in the history of the world, it pretty much felt like everyday this week I woke up on one of those days where you are randomly getting up at 4 a.m. to go skiing or drive to the airport. I for one am pretty glad to see this one come to an end. And here’s hoping the daylight savings will put the winter off for another month or so. So, cheers mates; it’s the weekend.
The Big Ten season pretty much starts this weekend as far as we are concerned. We will finally sort out some of the question marks about who is worth anything in the next three weeks, starting Saturday. While we are obviously anxiously anticipating the big rivalry in East Lansing, there’s another big one down in Columbus – Ohio State vs. Wisconsin. Everyone is writing off the Badgers, but they have 3 straight wins at the Horseshoe and have been playing better since the losses to Illinois and Big Ten. I have a feeling we may see a shakeup this weekend in everyone’s Big Ten assumptions.
Drawing sneers and jeers from Detroiters, Ross McKeon took it upon himself to reassign Hockeytown, USA moniker to another US NHL team. Upon reading the headline, I figured I was about to be pissed off, but upon reading the whole article, it’s hard to disagree. I like the choice of Minnesota as well. Detroit has Hockey fans, but Minnesota has hockey blood. Plus, when Detroit has seen more people leave town than any metropolitan area in the past five years, save for New Orleans, is it really surprising that hockey tickets are not selling like they did in the nineties? Finally, if you are a Detroit fan, how many players can you name on the team? I can easily name the ’94 team, but nowadays it’s not as easy. Then again according to the adjoining poll, Detroit still has a big lead, so maybe Ross is just blowing hot air.
I just noticed this article talking about how Joe Torre signed with the team he “hated” as a kid. That just raises a whole slew of questions, including, but not limited to: 1) Who would do that; B) Why would you say that when you just signed with said team; and C) What is the world coming to? OK, I’m over-exaggerating, but it really must be hard as a sports professional to just change loyalties like that for the sake of the job. I’m glad to see he and Mattingly are still together though. I always liked Mattingly. I think because I coveted that ’84 Topps. That was a great year for baseball cards. Why are we talking about this? I don’t know.
Also, I got a good chuckle from the Mud Hens stunt. In response to Hank “I’m a dumbass too” Steinbrenner’s sarcastic comment about A-Rod wanting to end his career as a Toledo Mud Hen, the Tigers Triple A farm team, instead of the Yankees, the Mud Hens sent an offer to Scott Boras. The contract includes incentives for hitting 75 homers. They might need to rethink that though. He could probably do it.
Watching the Pistons-Heat game right now and am kind of shocked. I never thought I’d see the day when Shaq was ineffective. I thought he’d be more apt to just always dominate even without running, jumping, or trying, but he didn’t even score until the second half. Maybe, it’s a fluke, but it doesn’t look like it. The Pistons look good even without Rip, despite letting the Heat slip into mini runs instead of putting them away for good. Prince looks like he is ready for superstardom as he is pretty much doing everything, including rebounding, playing point, and scoring like a pinball. I’m not gonna lie, I sorta wish Webber was still around. The surprise of the night is Jarvis Hayes. Of the newcomers, he’s definitely had the most impact and seen solid PT.
Alright, nothing major to report, but we did produce some product over at EC this week. I continued the Doc Brown’s Imminent Luminaries project that began a few weeks ago, which highlights some superstars from the future, who are currently in high school. This has become one of my favorite things to work on all week even though I’m pretty confident nobody reads it. Stan contributed a great post about A-Rod, his possible suitors, and all the bullshit surrounding that saga. Finally, we interviewed some of our best buds in the blogosphere, Kigh, Stamos, and Bstone from Brahsome. We expected this to be one of the best interviews yet and we we’re right (it actually happens occasionally). Alright, set the gearshift to anywhere but work. Have a fun weekend folks. I’ll see you Monday.
Finally, here are Stan’s weekend picks.
Well, considering I got my ass whipped by a bunch of god damn nerds – um, I mean betting on College Football last week – I’ve decided to take a step back from the Collegiate game. And thus, I’m slapping on my NFL picks of the week. Relax, I won’t feel the least bit offended if you ignore this entire section.
Washington (-3.5) over N.Y JETS
The Redskins lost on the road in New England last week (of course) by 45 points and yet, somehow they are favored on the road this week in New York? What does that say about rational thinking of the J-E-T-S? Well, it means common knowledge states that they S-U-C-K.
KANSAS CITY (-2) over Green Bay
The Favre of Destiny hits a speed bump at Arrowhead.
TAMPA BAY (-3.5) over Arizona
Vegas continues to shower the Bucs will love, despite consecutive losses. Anyhow, I guess we can cue the Arizona collapse? Jesus returned Kurt Warner’s soul to the Devil, once he acquired Jon Kitna’s.
TENNESSEE (-4.5) over Carolina
Memo to John Fox, touch up the resume. It doesn’t matter if you start David Carr, Vinny Testaverde or even had a healthy Jake Delhomme…they’re all equally as bad. Perhaps, you should consider Jeff George.
San Francisco (+3) over ATLANTA
Surprise, surprise…Left Tits is hurt…again. And so, the Falcons turn it over once again to Joey. The gays are happy.
NEW ORLEANS (-3.5) over Jacksonville
Face Stain is finally playing up to the expectations.
DETROIT (-3) over Denver
The Lord is our Sheppard. And Jon Kitna is our QB. “Jesus is just all right with me, Jesus is just all right.” Note: Buy a “God’s Team” shirt NOW!
Cincinnati (-1) over BUFFALO
Chad Johnson is about two more games away (if he doesn’t get in the end zone) from going T.O on the Bengals organization, circa San Francisco 2003.
CLEVELAND (-2) over Seattle
Anderson-to-Edwards a Fantasy Football wet dream.
INDIANAPOLIS (+5.5) over New England
“Begging mercy for their sins…SATAN laughing spreads his wings.” Satan has vowed to make his point to the NFL this season, but I’m hanging on the fact that NO team will ever go 16-0 vs. the spread. Logic says the Pats win, but can they cover like that in the Dome?
Just Another Friendly Reminder on How Long a Second Lasts
It's rivalry weekend and let the taunts begin and end, because this is all we've got as Spartan fans.
***The last time we've beat Michigan. Happy Friday...and enjoy!!!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The Ghosts Proudly Present the Top 101 Albums…EVER!
Around here we rather enjoy making up lists, compilations, etc. And we do this for our own shits giggles, as well as reminders for ourselves. That way we look smart if we are at bar and somebody is talking about the biggest dweebs to ever play a lead in a Sports movie, or the coolest white dudes to ever play hoops, or the greatest obscure sports movies and so on, and so on. Well, that’s why we just felt this site would be an empty and meaningless vessel if we didn’t toss around a list of OUR favorite or personally certified Top 101 albums…EVER.
Like anything we do around here, the process is rigorous and we swap emails back and forth, debate, devise formulas, create a ranking system, throw darts at a dartboard and drink heavily. Several excel spreadsheets and a few arguments later the list comes to fruition. OK, really it doesn’t happen like that at all (sans the drinking), but I wanted to make it sound like we do actual in-depth research, aside from just “oogling.” Anyhow, it goes more like this: “Do you wanna make a list?” Sure, he goes…
Regardless, this time around we did put some deep seeded thought into this list. As lazy as we can be sometimes, we’re feeling pretty confident about this venture. And that’s why over the course of the next week; month and even year (yes, we aren’t going anywhere) we’ll be dropping the occasional post about specific albums that made the cut. Hopefully, this gives you something to look forward to and critique in the near future. However, just keep in mind this isn’t a “Rolling Stone” or “Spin” magazine Top 100…this “The Ghosts” Top 101, our picks and our favorites. We can agree to disagree on some of them…right?
And we have no plans to stop at just music. We plan on doing a Top 101 movie list, the Top 101 Teams Ever, Top 101 Athletes ever --- yeah, no need to get ahead of ourselves. For now; stick around and be prepared for the launch and don’t be surprised when you see a random album review stationed on our site with a random number next to it. As always, enjoy in good spirits and share in the groove. Lastly, if you’ve got an urge to do a review of a specific album don’t hesitate to ask us.
Obsessed about Carolina Blue
That's me (below), proudly wearing my Michael Jordan North Carolina jersey. Of note, that is the only jersey I own. And to give you a quick re-cap of the scene below, that's me amidst a sea of white caps at the University of Arizona. Perhaps, you recall the complete ass wiping the North Carolina Tar Heels laid upon U of A last January in Tucson? Well, I know all too well, as I was nearly run out of the arena by angry senior citizens.
And I'm not kidding in the least bit. Anyhow, this is where I talk about the quirky rooting interest and/or passion that it is I have for North Carolina basketball. For me, it's life and death...it means everything and Will Blythe's "To Hate Like This" is my bible. So, I guess if you don't like the personal touch on a blog post, it'd probably be a good idea to just pass over this one. However, if you want to follow along in my passionate pursuit and delirium of being a fan, welcome aboard. And let's clear the air right off the bat; North Carolina WILL win the 2008 NCAA Championship. Glad we got that out of the way.
I could write a complete detailed biography of Carolina basketball spanning the past 20 years, without even doing a lick of research. Every game, every player, every detail has been etched in my memory, for good or bad. However, I have earned my inherited rights to North Carolina basketball, through over 25 years of pure deranged fandom. And that all started when I was a wee young lad and my pops turned me onto his alma mater the North Carolina Tar Heels.
In fact, the first actual sporting event I ever watched was North Carolina vs. Georgetown in the National Championship (1982). I’m not even making this up, how could I? All I remember back then was whoever that dude who stuck out his tongue and made that basket at the end, was who I wanted to be. One problem, I was white. Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from worshipping that dude named Jordan and North Carolina Basketball. Although, I never did get that Basketball Scholarship from Carolina, huh? Let’s move on.
So, maybe my Dad did a little bit to encourage me into engaging the Carolina tradition. However, all I know is I needed very little by that way, as I took it and ran with it ever since. And he may have occasionally wanted me to speak to a Psychologist about my growing Carolina obsession, but I know deep down he’s proud.
I can recall the 1991 season vividly. That was the season; I officially instituted the term “self-destruct” and have applied it to virtually the end of every Tar Heel Tournament run since. Just last year, I was sitting on my couch clenching my fists, looking pale as a ghost, while Georgetown put the finishing touches on what at the time seemed like the apocalypse.
Anyhow, 1991 was the year that Carolina should have won the National title, not Duke for god sakes. Carolina was staring down defeat in the Semifinals at the RCA Dome (where they still never win) against Roy Williams and Kansas. It became painfully obvious late in the second half that it wasn’t meant to be their season. Brian Resse was a freshman at the time and the Kansas zone was forcing him to be the lone shooter with an open look, which he wouldn’t take.
After Dean Smith got his 2nd technical of the game for leaving the coach’s box (unheard of), I headed directly to my room to be isolated. I walked around the house for a good hour crafting the term “self-destruct.” I probably resembled the look of Danny from the “Shining” walking around saying, “self-destruct” instead of “red-rum.” Coincidentally enough, I’ve been told by my girlfriend that she can’t stand to be around me when Carolina loses, because I look like Jack Nicholson from the “Shining.”
Fair enough, anyhow, back then not even a bottle of Ritalin could’ve stopped me. How the fuck did they lose? How? Unfortunately, I took out my anger on my “famous” Carolina team poster. And that was a damn shame, because that poster had so much meaning…just listen.
After the 1990 season and a tough loss at the hands of Arkansas in the Southeast Regional, my dad sent Dean E. Smith a nice letter thanking him for a great season. He shared with Dean how much his son (me) had become adapted and committed to the Carolina tradition. Well, Dean E. Smith, not only sent him back a letter of acknowledgement, he guaranteed that in the fall the athletic department would be sending me an official team poster and schedule. And on schedule, the package arrived just before the tip of the 1991 season.
I can still name everyone on that poster from the Seniors Rick Fox, Pete Chilcutt, King Rice to the incoming highly touted freshman Eric Montross, Derrick Phelps, Brian Resse, Clifford Rozier and Pat Sullivan (the original Fab Five). That poster hung proudly in my room and served as a reminder that it came from Dean Smith. And yet, after that fateful Final Four night against Kansas, that poster laid in shreds on my floor. I tried to proclaim I was never going to root for Carolina again. Thankfully, my dad revived my spirit for Carolina and explained how they couldn’t win it every year, much to my chagrin, yet I managed to move on.
And I was rewarded for that faith just a few years later in 1993. It wasn’t hard to figure out that was going to be a special season. The bright spot of the early season was the amazing 21 point comeback against Florida State at the Dean dome. There hadn’t been anything like it, since the Duke game at Chapel Hill the year prior, when Montross gushed blood and Carolina upset then #1 Duke.
Henrick Rodel made a couple of clutch 3 pointers to seal the victory and I remember a couple of my buddies taunting me the next day at school with the usual “Carolina sucks.” It was all the more gratifying to allow myself in explaining the actual comeback. And although, I know I make the proclamation at least once per season, at that point during that season, I just knew we were going to win the National Title.
Everything was seemingly falling into place and they capped off the brilliant run through the ACC with a complete thrashing of Duke on Senior day in Chapel Hill. This was always one of Dean Smith’s lasting treats to allow the Senior’s to start, even if they were a scrub. Coach K eventually stole the tradition and tried to claim it as his own. I will never forget Bobby Hurley’s face that day; it’s in my top Duke/Carolina moments, priceless.
There was a minor scare in the ACC tournament when Derrick Phelps hurt his ankle. Dean Smith opted to rest him and the Heels gave Georgia Tech a charity bid to the dance. However, did it really matter? Carolina was still the #1 seed in the East Region and after a couple scares in the Regional; they were bound for New Orleans and the Final Four. In New Orleans they cleaned up against Kansas and Michigan to earn the crown.
I was already wearing the Championship T-shirt and reading the “Daily Tar Heel” Championship addition just a split second after Chris Weber got away with his travel and then called the timeout. As Dean Smith said, “Lucky, yes. Fortunate, yes, but were still the Champs.”
To no surprise, Carolina’s dominance continued through the 90’s. However, then came the down the years that everyone would just as soon forget ever really happened? However, I’m not a fool…I remember those years all too well. Those down times made the return of Roy Williams to Chapel Hill and the eventual National Championship in 2005 all the more rewarding.
And that’s why I know fully well that the tease, the taste, the sting of last season’s ultimate collapse against Georgetown will simply make this season all the more rewarding. Everything is in place for Carolina; the stars are aligned as one might say. There’s simply no need to worry about the supposed jinx of being ranked #1 in the pre-season. That’s simply not going to matter; as I stated I above…I know fully well that North Carolina is GOING to win the National Championship this year.
Look, I’ve never claimed to be able to keep things in perspective when it comes to Carolina. As the years have gone on, my insanity for Carolina basketball has remained the same and/or gotten much worse. However, I’m glad my Dad got me interested in North Carolina Basketball. We live nearly 3000 miles apart now, but on any given ACC Wednesday night on ESPN, I know we are both watching. I simply can’t wait for College Basketball to get going and I can’t wait for North Carolina to settle up on some un-finished business from last season.
Why Aren't the Pistons in the Kobe Bryant Sweepstakes?
Editors Note: This is a re-run post that I wrote this past summer just after the Pistons gagged for a 2nd straight year in the Eastern Conference Finals and blamed everyone, but themselves. What else is new? Anyhow, the question above seems just as relevant today as it did back then. And that's why I'm taking a closer look at the prospect, updates have been included.
Why should the Pistons not at least be somewhat involved in the Kobe Bryant sweepstakes? If you stop and think about all the ridiculous scenarios that have been passed around not only the Pistons camp, but the NBA in general…this all makes obvious sense. (Update: Kobe is still available...so?).
Look, we aren’t trading Rasheed Wallace and another starter for Shawn Marion. And nobody in their right mind is going to take Nazr Mohammad off our hands for even a 2nd rounder. It’s supposed to be a dramatic summer of change in Detroit and with several variables in play, trading for Kobe Bryant seems to make the most sense. Well, they had better at least throw their hat into the mix…right? (Update: We still have Nazr).
Let me explain. For all practical purposes the Lakers and Timberwolves trade for Garnett is going to fall apart. Unless somebody “roofies” Kevin McHale there is no chance this deal gets done. Why would Minnesota trade Garnett for 10 cents on the dollar to another team in the Western Conference? Makes no sense and I don’t need to read Chad Ford’s Blog for the logistics. (Update: I guess he'd trade Garnett for 10 cents on the dollar to his good buddy Danny Ainge. Congrats Celtics).
Meanwhile back in Detroit, Joe Dumars' hand is going to be forced this off-season. Priority #1 is getting Chauncey Billups back under contract, which I fully expect will happen (watch me eat my words in a week). With that aside, Dumars will have to make some form of shake-up, as he promised. The Pistons simply can’t stand pat on what they have, unless they are fully content falling further down the pathetic ladder that is the Eastern Conference. (Update: Chauncey is still a Piston, which is a good thing).
As much as the media and some of the fans would like to cast blame on ‘Sheed, how could we really trade him? Who would that leave up front? McDyess and Maxiell as the starting front court? Re-signing Webber? No thanks. I’d suggest everyone back off the ledge…we can’t really afford to trade ‘Sheed. Last time I checked there isn’t another 6’11 athletic big man with range that can play lock down defense, temper aside…walking through that door. (Update: We kept 'Sheed - thank GOD and dumped Webber - thank GOD).
So that brings me back to the Kobe option. And go ahead and stop me if I sound crazy or if this trade is completely illogical and just wouldn’t work under trade structuring guidelines. Regardless, I’m throwing out my best guessed option. And if you think I’m crazy at least I’m not alone.
The Pistons have flexibility with talent and draft picks. How about Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, the #15 and #27 picks for Kobe, the #19 pick and we’d even take one of those contract dumps, like Kwame Brown? Ugh, I just got sick thinking of taking Kwame Brown, but if it means getting Kobe…why not? (Update: The #19 pick was Javaris Crittenton, the #15 pick - Rodney Stuckey and #27 - Aaron Affalo).
I know, I know…relax Pistons fans and hang with me on this one. I know it’d be a lot to give up and I’m not even sure it makes sense or would work, contract wise. However, before you get all defiant about losing too much, just think about the positives. We’d be talking about Chauncey, Kobe and 'Sheed in the starting line-up. (Update: Could that triple threat out-shine the Celtics? Well, 5 rings to 0 says YES.)
That should grab your interest. That is a team that could not only win the East, but also challenge the Spurs for the NBA Title…am I right? Yes, I know they need at least a little more in terms of a cast to surround “The Big 3.” Well, with the mid-level exception they go after Grant Hill. He’d fill out a role just nicely at this point in his career. And we move Maxiell into the starting line-up. (Update: Grant Hill took his bum ankle to Phoenix).
You’re now looking at a veteran starting five with some much added athleticism of Jason Maxiell. Off the bench you still have Flip Murray and Antonio McDyess (presuming he doesn’t opt out). And with the #19 pick they draft a back-up point guard like Javaris Crittenton or Gabe Pruitt if they are still floating around. Who knows, the guy they wanted all along Rodney Stuckey may still be there at #19. (Update: Hmm, look I predicted would be around and taken #19).
#15 to #19 isn’t that significant of a jump. And they could use this pick to take whoever is the best player left on the board to develop and groom to play significant minutes. Ideally, between their 1st and 2nd round picks they would simply need to find viable PG and SG back-ups, but this can be done.
So there, maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about and maybe I haven’t taken the contracts or luxury tax into consideration, but on paper…you’ve gotta like what you see. The Pistons need to make a drastic move to stay afloat in the East.
And I’ll give you two more vital reasons why Dumars needs to throw his cards into the Kobe sweepstakes.
1) The current front runner to land Kobe is our division rival, the Chicago Bulls. If they land Kobe…forget about it. They will battle for the Central ever year with Cleveland and we will be spectators.
2) The East is on the verge of being carried by two budding Superstars (Wade and LeBron) for years to come. The Pistons can no longer compete in this landscape without a Superstar. Kobe gives them their answer to Wade and LeBron. He would be the deciding and separating factor from us and the rest of the Conference.
To me, this is a no-brainer. Yet, then again…I am just a desperate fan trying to convince myself that my favorite team can re-invent itself and stave off extinction for just a little while longer. Without that hope, all I can see is a window slamming shut. (Update: Kobe IS still looking to be dealt. And the Chicago Bulls appear to be the favorite. I stand by everything, this IS a move the Pistons should realistically explore...or else settle for trying to win the East...if they can even do that).
20 Years and Waiting For a Rose Bowl
1988. That was the last time the Michigan State Spartans played in the Rose Bowl. And it's somewhat debatable; if that was the last time the Spartans were at all relevant. Bobby McCallister, Andre Rison, Lorenzo White, Blake Ezor...that was the team and those were the days. And who could ever forget the win over Indiana at Spartan Stadium that propelled the Spartans into the Rose Bowl? (I was 10 at the time if you’re keeping track, but I remember it well). How could I ever forget watching the goal posts go down for the first time in my life?
And so the Rose Bowl drought is about to hit the 20th anniversary mark early next year, when most teams are headed for a Bowl game. During this 20 year slump the Spartans have battled in such classic bowl games as the Aloha Bowl, John Hancock Bowl, Gator Bowl, Silicon Valley Bowl, Liberty Bowl, Sun Bowl, Moon Bowl, Quaker Oats Bowl, Crystal Clear Pepsi Bowl and the Jiffy Lube Bowl…to name just a few (Ok, I made a couple of those up).
Anyhow, the only real Bowl of significance in the past 20 years was the Citrus Bowl in 2000. That was arguably the best, if only really good team the Spartans have had during this dreadful interval of time. The coach back then was Nick Saban who helped lead the Spartans back into respectful circles and a 9-2 mark before bolting for LSU. Thanks again, Benedict Saban…you left us with Bobby “fucking” Williams.
Regardless, with the help of a guy you may recall named Plaxico Burress, Bobby Williams was gift-wrapped a win in his first ever adventure on the Michigan State sidelines over the Florida Gators in said Citrus Bowl. However, cue the music for destruction and I believe the term I am looking for is landslide. That’s the best word I can think of to describe the Bobby Williams era. I need not open the old wounds, but Bobby took a team on the brink of respect and set the program back about 10 years.
And I won’t even touch base on the John L. Smith era. Shit, at least Bobby Williams holds a win over Michigan and won a Bowl game. It’s been since 2003 since Michigan State has played in a bowl game. And that was probably the most forgettable experience, as the Spartans rolled into the Alamo Dome talking smack, staying out late, getting in bar fights and then getting their asses whipped by Nebraska.
Moving on, last week the Spartans had a chance to clinch bowl eligibility, but regurgitated on themselves at Iowa. And so, the quest to make it all the way back to the Goodrich Tires Bowl picks up where it left on Saturday at home against Michigan. And that’s the funny thing; all this talk about Bowl games seems very minuscule when talking about the Wolverines. The reality of it all is that I’d much rather settle for beating Michigan than going to some stupid fucking Valvoline Bowl.
And why does it always go back to Michigan? Just because, it always does. Call it an inferiority complex that most Spartan fans have, or call it hate for U of M. Either way, our season is always measured against Michigan and if we can beat them or not. I mean, we haven't beaten Michigan since 2001 when the miracle clock work by the Spartan Stadium crew, allowed Jeff Smoker to find T.J Duckett in the back of the end-zone with one tick on the clock.
There isn’t exactly a whole to hang our pride on when it comes to this so-called “rivalry.” Now, 
you’ve probably heard me bashing on Michigan before, but that’s all done out of spite. However, I’m a realist and I know it’s NO rivalry when you can count the number of wins that State has had over Michigan in the past 12 years on one hand. There’s the Tony Banks game in ’95, the Plaxico game in ’99 and Smoker-to-Duckett in ’01…that’s it folks.
Sweet! We can count a few wins over Michigan here and there, as well as ONE huge upset over Ohio State, a small era of dominance over Notre Dame, but all in all there ain't a whole lot to hold your head up about...if you're a Spartan fan. Imagine going into every single season...just knowing that you have about ZERO chance of going to the Rose Bowl. Yeah, we don't pump ourselves up every year like Michigan fans, proclaiming Rose Bowl or bust. Rather, we like to keep things in perspective, while we drink and act stupid at tailgates…right?
Where is this going? Well, as Michigan State fans we’ve endured enough. We’ve put up with the ridicule and the arrogance from “Michigan” fan, but that’s just about all we can take. Sure, I know some of you reading this very line are indeed Michigan fans. Well, I got news for you…tough luck…we deserve this game, we may be bad, but we don’t lose to Appalachian State…at home. And "WE'RE GOING TO WIN THIS GAME!"
No matter how bad or bleak things have looked in the past for Michigan State football, there is one constant that always remains a positive. And that is a Saturday morning tailgate for the Michigan game in East Lansing. It doesn’t matter if the Spartans are 0-5, 1-6 or 4-3 heading into this game. The late October autumn mornings in East Lansing when Michigan is town are electric.
Quick Note: There is nothing I miss more about East Lansing than those Saturday’s in the fall. I know it sounds really cliché and who doesn’t miss the leaves changing colors? However, really it’s always been a slice of nostalgia for me to walk the campus with a 30 pack of Bud Ice and suck in the smells of the barbecue and enjoy the beautiful campus. It really gives me goose bumps just thinking about how much I miss those moments. It’s just not the same in Southern California, just not the same. I know, I lament about this all the time, but nothing replaces a Michigan State tailgate. And so to all those alumni lucky enough to be in East Lansing this weekend; have fun and remember if you wake up in a dorm room, it doesn't matter who wins the game.
Back to my story, we deserve it this year Michigan fans. We deserve it for that year Charles Woodson rolled into town and embarrassed us all by himself. We deserve it for the 49-3 beating we took at the Big House in 2002. We deserve it for losing Drew Stanton in what was an assured win at the Big House 3 years ago. We deserve it for Braylon Edwards catching what seemed like 10 TD'S in that same game 3 years ago. We deserve it for having to endure Bobby Williams and John L. Smith. We deserve it for having to endure all of your jokes. And most importantly we deserve it, because we tired of being the little brother who gets picked on.
So, who really gives a damn about the Rose Bowl anyway? As long as we beat Michigan, everything will be at peace in East Lansing.
