The Loose Ends: (8/31) Edition

Wrapping up another week around the blogosphere. And as usual the weekend can't ever come soon enough. So, this is our usual Friday farewell and best regards for all to enjoy the long Holiday weekend. And let's all raise our cups in honor of the return of meaningful football games and a reason to deposit money into the Sportsbook account. It's not hurting anything either that the Baseball season is locked into full pennant swing mode. And it's going to get interesting this next month. Anyhow, let's not waste anymore time and polish off a few odds and ends from the happs on the week that is all, but gone.

It's always an interesting week over at Epic Carnival. Be sure to check a few posts that Rupes dropped, one about "Hard Knocks" and another quick clip about just how stupid some people really are. I shed a little light on the current cast of the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars." Unfortunately, my counter suggestions are a day late and a dollar short.

We also engaged in a pretty interesting debate about who was the most talented member of N.W.A on the epic email group. Yup, these are the mature things we think about on a regular basis. My vote was securely with Ice Cube and/or Eazy-E, but I may have been met with some resistance. It ended a little like this from WCT: "We're just going to have to agree to disagree on that one... By the way, this argument inspired me to spend the last 30 mins reading Suge Knight's Wikipedia page."

And how could we forget? Be sure to check out our candid interview with Matt Mosely of ESPN's Hashmarks. Matt's a cool dude and is a monster about keeping that blog on top of the business.

You may heard about the gay support Joey Harrington is getting in Atlanta. Kudos to Joey for always making new fans. Sorry, no Piano Man joke on tap. Meanwhile, in completely stark contrast, another once famed QB has hit the rocks. Yup, Todd Marinovich was busted with some meth, a needle and a spoon, while trying to skateboard in the OC. He probably could've skated with just a warning had he not tried to run away from the Cops...sigh.

In more troubling news Al Debarge of the legendary group El Debarge was arrested on charges of Domestic Abuse in LA this past week. Ah yes, feel the beat of the rhythm of the night. On the bright side of things, the DA is not going to pursue charges, yet Debarge is being held on outstanding warrants. We'll always have a soft spot for El Debarge, after all his brother used to buy me beer when I was wee bit teenager...long story.

Moving on, today is August 31st. And it also happens to be the day a classic horror film gets a facelift. I am speaking of the one and only Halloween. As a horror film buff, I am greeting the project with eagerness and anticipation. Rob Zombie should do nothing, but justice to this classic film. And let the record show that I rank Michael Myers #2, just behind Jason Voorhees on my serial killer list. Trust me, that is no slight. I will be in attendance on opening night. Enjoy the trailer..



TGI-mutha fucking-F!!! And with that, as always enjoy the weekend and make it a great one. Best of luck with all of your football parlays and teasers...ENJOY!!! We'll back next week.

It Was Only 3 Games...

It appears that the onslaught for our undivided attention normally owned by football this time of year, may have to compete just a little with baseball. At least, it will have to in this man's house. Baseball is in full swing, stretch mode and this was supposedly the make or break week in which we got 5 (count 'em) 5 first vs. 2nd place match-ups.

Well, the Tigers and Indians pretty much already had their rendezvous a week or so back. And I'm just about ready to declare the division a lost cause for the Tigers. Anyhow, of the match-ups the Phillies and Angels are the two who made out the most...like bandits in fact. The Phillies sliced the Mets lead down to just two games by sweeping a 4 game set, while the Angels essentially bitch slapped the Mariners back into reality.

The Padres took (2 of 3) from the D-Backs to keep pace and remain just (1) game out of first. The Cubs gained very little, despite taking (2 of 3) from the Brewers. And so, the NL WEST & CENTRAL both still appear to be wide open and for the taking.

And that may leave you scratching your head, as to why I failed to mention the Yankees sweep over the Red Sox. Well, I failed to mention this, because it is only 3 games. Yeah, sure it was a big deal in New York, but not really anywhere else. Does Boston now continue to look over their shoulder? Of course, but haven't they always done so? The Yankees will never be dead until they are officially dead.

However, relax Boston fans...the Yankees are still dead in terms of winning the AL EAST. It's just not gonna happen. The three game sweep allowed the Yankees to creep to a mere (5) games out of first place. Meanwhile, from here on out both teams get to beat up on sub-par AL EAST teams leading up to a showdown at Fenway in mid-September.

The Red Sox aren't playing to hold off the Yankees, they are playing to just make the playoffs. And in that event they will stave off the Yanks to win the division. It's only inevitable. So, enjoy the 3 game sweep Yank fans, but don't get ready to declare '78 all over again. From an outside perspective...the Red Sox are still better. And even they know it was only three games and they still have dibs on the AL EAST.

Yet, as for the rest of the division battles...it's gonna be fun.

Our Favorite WWF Wrestling Entrances

It's a casual Friday at the Ghosts and thus we are compiling, yet another one of these list things. To be honest, we are a little lazy this time of year, but hardly consider this as mailing it in. Rather, this our own little tribute to some of the best WWF intros we can recall from the good ole days. Important to note this pertains to the WWF. And yes, we like to call it the WWF still...cause we stopped watching long before it become the WWE.

So technically speaking, some of the obvious omissions include the likes of Ric Flair and Sting. Either way, these are a few of our favorites from our favorite wrestlers. Apologies if we couldn't exactly find an actual LIVE entrance for some of these...we tried our best. And besides you should get the point...right? Well, at least our intentions were in the right place. And who doesn't love some of the classics?

As always your comments, suggestions and critique is welcomed in the comments section below. So, enjoy and if you will, follow me...

The Greatest. Ever.
What else really needs to be said. The Legend that still lives, Hulkamania.

The Macho Man
No Entrance theme, but a candid interview where we get to see the lovely Miss Elizabeth.

The Ultimate Warrior
One of the few who could say they took down Hulkamania in his prime.

The Million Dollar Man - Ted Dibiase
If he was a millionare...why in the hell was he wrestling?

Hacksaw Jim Dugan
USA! USA! USA!

Ravishing Rick Rude
The self-proclaimed sexiest body in the business. RIP Rick...you are missed.

Brutus the Barber Beefcake
He was always good for shear entertainment...no pun intended. And you get bonus coverage of a match between Brutus and Rick Rude.

Mr. Perfect
Dude, was so perfect he would always spit his gum out on the stroll to ring and perfectly bat it away with his hand, sending it into the crowd. Another RIP.

The Undertaker
Would any list be complete with him?

Bret "The Hitman" Heart
The best there is, was and will ever be.

The Twelve Reasons Phish Should Reunite

1) Because Vegas just isn't fun anymore.

2) Because they still owe us that Halloween cover of the full Michael Jackson Thriller album (see Lincoln, NE 10/21/95).

3) Because Antelope Greg might freak some people out as a member of regular society.

4) Because I am becoming really addicted to blogging. I need to get out more.

5) Because as they said in Providence (4/5/98), "We just can't end this thing without a little more funk."

6) Because we all know they want to.

7) Because cute hippies in patchwork are a dying breed.

8) Because dreadlocks are fashionable.

9) Because "phishing" now refers to a criminal activity using social engineering by which computer criminals steal personal information. Go think of your own name you sneaky bastards.

10) Because we all thought Trey had sobered up and that's why the music was getting choppy. We envisioned him to be that Jon Daly-esque figure who was just when he was f-cked up. We were wrong.

11) Because we are all wondering what ever happened to those random friends that only existed in the parking lot of Phish shows.

12) Because all the good drugs are going to waste on those nappy Hollyood bitches.


If you feel like reading more, here's a couple other new Phish posts.

Top Ten Harry Hoods - New
In Defense of Sample
You Know You're a Phishhead When You What???

Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese Sized NFL Preview

Hmm, Hmm...Hors D’oeuvres?

By now, every major sports publication and/or web-site, as well as most blogs have long since run through the gamete of an NFL Season Preview. Well, here at the Ghosts we haven't exactly been slacking, we've shared a couple individual team previews over at Epic Carnival (Saints and Chargers). However, we haven't done a full fledged review of our thoughts about the entire league, nor made our predictions.

We are now officially one week away from the Opening Kick-off and we are just about friggin' giddy. And that's why we are ready to run through our own mini-preview of the NFL. Consider this our snapshot on predictions, gambling, contenders, pretenders, etc. Hey Salisbury...eat your bleeping heart out. Let's get this thing rolling...

The Creme De La Creme: I'm of the opinion there are only three teams with a legitimate claim that they can and will win the Superbowl. And for the record, my hunch tells me one of these three teams will be hoisting the Lombardi Trophy.

Indianapolis Colts

The Defending Champs, despite having a Swiss cheese defensive line they should indeed be ranked at the top to start the season. It's only fair, but their quest is going to be anything, but easy. They are jumping out at 9:1 to win the Superbowl, which might be your money's worth...that's the highest they've been in quite a few years.

San Diego Chargers

On paper...here are your Superbowl Champions. On the field, well we are just going to have to wait and see. Denver has gotten better on defense and always poses a potential roadblock for the Chargers in their own division. Besides, who do you trust head to head Norv Turner or Mike Shanahan. The Chargers are 6:1 to win the Superbowl, are opening as a (6.5) favorite over last season's Superbowl runner up and were 9-8 against the spread last season. My guess is that this isn't a regular you want in your parlay rotation.

New England Patriots

Oh, Tom Brady...yeah, yeah. Moss hasn't played a single down yet and Maroney scares the shit out of me as the feature RB. Yet, the defense is going to be as good as always and Belichick is worth a few extra wins solely due to his um, Genius. The media and oddsmakers are lapping up their balls already as the 5:2 Superbowl favorite. And all that changed with the addition of Moss, lofty expectations...huh?

The Contenders: Alive and well, these teams have as good a chance as anybody to make some noise and maybe knock off the Creme De La Creme.

Denver Broncos

They'd love to believe last year was just one big mistake. Jake Plummer shit the bed and Cutler wasn't quite ready to clean up the feces in time to save their season. Shanahan is liable to have his eyes pop out of his skull if they aren't pushing towards the playoffs. The safe odds are in their corner 20:1 for the big game, 11:1 to win the AFC or 8:5 to win the AFC West.

New Orleans Saints

Can it really get any better than last season? Yes, it can and that's all because of Reggie Bush. This has got to be the best team in the NFC...right? And so who wouldn't like 11:1 to win the Conference? This is going to be the "fun" team to watch for obvious reason this season.

Philadelphia Eagles

They've literally owned the NFC East for years (sans 2005). They are on the board at 8:5 to win the division...yet again. However, they'll have to contend with...

Dallas Cowboys

The Wade Phillips era is in full swing and Tony Romo is ready to make amends.

Cincinnati Bengals

Chad Johnson is promising big things (in the stat department) as he does every season. However, I am inclined to actually believe him this time around. And the Bengals are ready to clean the slate from the agony of a year ago. A wise wager just might be the Bengals at 7:4 to win the AFC North or get frisky and snag them at 20:1 to win the whole thing.

Take a Step Back: Every single year a crop of the previous season's playoff teams fall off the map and we are left wondering what the hell happened? Well, here is this year's class.

Baltimore Ravens

I am just not fully ready to buy into the Ravens as the team to beat in the AFC North. Steve McNair ain't getting any younger, nor is that defense. Yes, I like the McGahee addition, but does he still have a knee? This team went 10-7 ATS last season, so keep that in mind. Overall odds are equal to the Benglas if that helps.

Chicago Bears

It has been anything, but a pretty off-season for the defending NFC Champs with the whole Tank Johnson incident and Lance Briggs holdout. And now to top it all off, Briggs smashes his car, Grossman looks atrocious as ever and I see a team fighting to stay at or above .500. Maybe a stretch, but I'm sticking to it. They are only 4:1 to win the NFC North.

Seattle Seahawks

Each year you just want them to go away, but they never really do. An improved division is the only logic behind my feeling that they will finally make the fade this season. However, they dropped some duckets in the off-season to hopefully remain in the thick of the hunt. And a lot of people are buying into them at 11:10 to win not only the division, but also 11:2 to win the NFC.

New York Jets

As long as Chad Pennington is still the quarterback, this team is going nowhere. They are NOT going 11-6 ATS this season. And the Patriots do STILL own them. 5:1 for the AFC EAST, 15:1 for the AFC and 30:1 for the Superbowl...save your money.

Ready to Make a Leap? - Technically not quite sleepers, because they are on the tips of everyone's tongues, but these teams are by no means ready for contender status...just yet.

St. Louis Rams

San Francisco 49ers

Arizona Cardinals

Really, we can kill three birds with one stone. All three teams play in the same division and so essentially, not ALL of them can make the leap. They are going to have to root on a Seattle falling off the map and/or one or the other being a fraud.

Ironically, currently all three teams are at 5:1 to win the division and 40:1 to win the Superbowl. Have fun figuring this one out. Hint, Hint...I really like the Rams. Everyone has already sexified the 49ers a little too much for my taste this season. And last season that honor went to the Cardinals.

Enigmas: We really just don't know what to expect.

Pittsburgh Steelers

New coach on board, new team chemistry and make-up makes you wonder. After an abysmal season last year, you expect the bounce back. They are a sneaky play under the radar at 2:1 to win the AFC North and 11:1 to win the AFC. Keep in mind they were a lousy 7-9 ATS last year.

Jacksonville Jaguars

No team is more frustrating to wager on than these Jags. You know every single season they are automatically playing for a wild card spot with Indy in their division. So, all bets are off with this team, because they'll cover against Indy and lose to Tennessee the following week.

Carolina Panthers

See Jacksonville...to an extent. How many years in a row were they the "sexy" pick to win the Superbowl? When are we finally going to realize that Jake Delhomme is no better or worse than Jake Plummer? 9:5 to win the South and 6:1 to win the NFC sound like sucker bets to me.

New York Giants

Turmoil abound. They had the NFC on a platter last season and Eli soiled his drawers. My advice give these guys a wide birth...stay away from them on Sunday's. 8-8 ATS last year and 11:4 to win the NFC East this season...NO THANKS.

Sleepers: Somebody has to be a darkhorse...right?

Detroit Lions

Go ahead and laugh it up all you want. You know what Kitna has promised and I am banking on him delivering. The Lions suck, but they competed hard last season despite going 6-10 ATS...I like them as a parlay and teaser mixer this year. Not too shabby at 8:1 to win the NFC North either.

Buffalo Bills

While, everyone is touting the Pats and the Jets in the AFC East, I'm going out on a HUGE whim and saying the Bills will be the surprise team of the year. Not contender status, but a marked turn around where people say: where the hell did that come from? 10-6 ATS in 2006.

Green Bay Packers

Ladies and Gents...your NFC North Champions. 9:2 odds...perfect. Thanks.

Stuck in the Mud: These teams aren't going anywhere for a long, long time.

Kansas City Chiefs

If any team took a further step back in the off-season...I'm all ears. It's hard to even fathom that this team made it to the post-season last year.

Tennessee Titans

I am fully prepared to eat my words, but I am banking on LenDale White getting busted with Pacman in a gun fight or something and Vince Young taking a major step backwards without having a legitimate NFL WR on the roster.

Atlanta Falcons

As if I really need to explain this one?

Miami Dolphins

I'd like to issue a formal apology to anyone who has Ronnie Brown on their Fantasy roster.

Duds: It just wasn't meant to be.

Minnesota Vikings

The Vikings are in a good spot, really they are. This just isn't their year, but they are building a future and will be competitive to an extent. Jackson is going to see a lot of 8 man fronts and he'll have to prove he can beat teams with his arm. The defense is solid and the running game should flourish. They are weekly watch on the spread radar and should be called upon for a slump buster. 50:1 to win the whole show.

Tampa Bay Bucs

The Gruden watch is on.

Houston Texans

No Comment.

Washington Redskins

Go figure, I couldn't really decide where to put them on the hierarchy. Yet, my gut tells me this is Joe Gibbs swan song season and it ain't gonna go pretty.

Shit Stew: As if this comes as any surprise?

Cleveland Browns

Browns fans are talking themselves into the Brady Quinn era. They continue to ignore the writing on the wall or the pictures on the internet...he is gay. Aside from that he is bringing back memories of Eric Zier with his remarkable pre-season. Thank god you gave up the probable #1 overall pick next season for him.

Oakland Raiders

Daunte Culpepper. Enough Said. Have a fun season.

And all that said, my pick to win the whole song and dance...THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS.

Carlos Zambrano: Fat and Tired

The Cubs season relatively speaking, hinges on their Ace, Big Z. And as of late, Carlos has been anything, but an ace. He's gone from being lights out to essentially a BP pitcher, getting teed off on left and right. He has now lost 4 straight games, while giving up an average of 5.5 runs per contest. This is a far cry from the Big Z we witnessed from June 1st on, where he helped the Cubs surge back into contention by going 9-2 over a stretch.

And now, that prediction of the CY Young award is slipping away like a box of leftover cheese sticks in his fridge. What is ailing the big fella and what can be done to turn this around? Let's face it, he needs to right the ship or the Cubs are going to be in serious trouble. The rotation is what it is right now, with Lilly, Marquis, Marshall and Hill all filling in just fine. However, NO team can win down the stretch or in the post-season for that matter, without a lights out front end starter.

And unfortunately, for the Cubs none of the aforementioned names fit the billing of a front end starter. Maybe it's the heat getting to Big Z. When you pack as much punch as the big fella is carrying on his frame, the humidity can and will wear you down. The mass provides power, we do know that. However, maybe he is fat in a different sense...outside of the physical sense.

Yup, the irony of it all is that his tailspin essentially coincides with him signing his new contract. A contract in which, yes he took less money than would've been offered on the market to stay in Chicago. And we are all happy for that. However, maybe the contract has made him too fat and happy. I do mean that both figuratively and literally.

Look, nobody is ever going to proclaim Big Z to be in peak physical shape. However, you can't really say he is running up a tab at the Cheesecake Factory ala Chris Farley. Ok, bad example. What we do know is that the Cubs need the big man now more than ever. He re-committed himself after the melee on June 1st and proclaimed that he was starting anew.

However, there isn't really anymore candidates deserving of a punch in the Cubs clubhouse. So, what's it going to take to kick start a new streak? I'm not sure what will work, but we need a re-birth, or so to speak from Big Z or the post-season WILL go down the tubes. Maybe, he is too fat or maybe he is just tired. Either way, he's gonna have to find himself and start over soon or it's gonna be much too late.

And yes, he can forget about the Cy Young...better luck next year.

Does Hard Knocks Make Sense From Coaching Standpoint?

Today over at Epic Carnival, we took a close look at whether or not televising training camp (i.e., HBO's Hard Knocks) is a good idea from the perspective of the coaches. I fist pumped when I finished it, so you know it's good.

The Bloggers Invitational Quick Peak

Well, the Bloggers Invitational Fantasy League is officially underway, as the commencement of the draft took place this past weekend. As promised, we are now welcoming in a few quick takes from some of the participants, as well as a snapshot of the draft and potential favorites. For the record, we are talking about a 14 team league comprised of some friends and daily destinations from around this good 'ole "blogosphere."

And here are the contestants:

Pacifist Viking

Signal to Noise

Empty The Bench

Flyers Fieldhouse

Sports Agent Blog

Roughing the Reader

Pyle of List

Our Book of Scrap

Bad Choice Milk

Wayne Fontes Experience

The Extrapolater

Sons of Sam Malone

Cobra Brigade

For Rupes, the Turd and myself...we've never been a part of a 14 man league. And to be honest, drafting was pretty friggin' hard, ecspecially when you are trying to co-manage w/ two other people. Anyhow, we weren't expecting a lot to be leftover after the first few rounds, but were still somewhat pleased with our first three picks; Reggie Bush, Chad Johnson and Drew Brees. However, things probably went south for us when he nabbed Ahman Green in the 4th round. And the rest they say is history.

Look, we know it's not logical to expect an all-star line-up with a diminished talent pool. This is nothing like an 8 or 10 man league. It's going to take strategy, luck, skill and playing the match-ups to a tee in order to not embarrass ourselves. In all we'd rate our team about a 6 or 7, but these things will work themselves out in time.

We're never really good at predictions, but if we had to peg a few of the early contenders...we'd gracefully submit our nominations for Sons of Sam Malone, Empty the Bench, Sports Agent Blog, Signal to Noise and Pyle of List as the opening faves on the board. That's not to say the league won't end up being a crapshoot, rather we're just making a guess.

And with that, here are a few tidbits from some of our competition, as to what they felt about the draft and the prospect of a 14 man league.

Empty the Bench: Over all the years and leagues I've participated in fantasy football, I've never been awarded with the top pick, so I was somewhat shocked to finally get it. I'm psyched to have LT on the roster, without question, but history says that 99% of the great running backs eventually break down or at least miss a few games; in 6 years, LT has yet to miss one. I'm a bit nervous that his flawless run could come to an end this season...

But then again, I'm very pleased to have enough behind LT in the backfield to make up for any games he might hypothetically miss. The Vikings' RB committee is secured in stud rookie Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor, with leading ROY candidate Brandon Jackson in the mix as well. Jesse Chatman, a former backup to LT in San Diego, is also stashed on my bench if/when Ronnie Brown continues to flop in Miami.

I'm no McNabb fan, but when the guy's healthy he's an elite fantasy quarterback, so to grab him in the fifth round--behind guys like Ahman Green, Fred Taylor, and Jamal Lewis--felt like a coup. I'm banking on him staying healthy, as I'd rather not be forced to plug in No-Helmet Roethlisberger unless absolutely necessary.

Reggie Wayne is one of the top WRs I planned to target, as this should be the year he finally overtakes Marvin in terms of production. Vincent Jackson looks like he's ready for a breakout season--with him and LT in the fold, watching Chargers games will (hopefully) be a joy. And I've always been a Drew Bennett fan, and feel like he's getting little to no respect in fantasy drafts this year; with the Rams, he's in line to put up big numbers, especially if Torry Holt's worrisome knee gives out and if Old Man Isaac runs out of gas.

All in all, Empty the Bench's squad is shaping up to be a contender. Check back in a few weeks, though, when half my team is on the trading block and the other half have been decimated by injuries. Ah, the joys of fantasy football...

McBain (Flyers Fieldhouse):

1. I went into this drafting season with one rule across all of my drafts: Do NOT, under any circumstances, let yourself draft Jamal Lewis. And yet my first draft is in the books, and I have Jamal Lewis. Not cool.

2. I was getting a little restless near the latter rounds and was drafting players that just amused me at the moment. Now I look back and have Slowrenzo Booker (thanks to Sports Agent Blog for the excellent nickname) and Drew Carter's imploding knee on my roster. Perhaps I should have taken it a little more seriously.

3. I may never forgive myself for not taking Adrian Peterson. I have to get him in at least one of my five leagues so I have a vested interest in his ass-kicking ways. No player embodies the Truck Stick quite like AP.

4. Being a blogger, I should be perfectly comfortable in the basement of this league. Just need to lose these annoying pants.

Bad Choice Milk: I just can't believe Vick slipped to me at the last pick of the draft.

Sports Agent Blog: 14 people in one league. That means that you should be picking Mike Vick by the 5th round, right? At least you should still be able to pick a starter in the first round (even if you are SportsAgentBlog.com and got relegated to picking in the 13th slot), right? Wrong. We chose Maurice Jones-Drew, who is still listed as a backup to former Florida Gator, Fred Taylor. We then decided to choose Willis "I have no ACL, MCL, PCL, other-CLs" McGahee with the 16th pick. It was all downhill from there...other then the fact that we got Marc Bulger. Here is my proclamation: Any team in any Fantasy League that picks Marc Bulger will win their league. Why did I select Reggie Williams, again?

And so, sorry for the short re-hash, but we aren't the best at breaking down a draft. We do know this is going to be a league not short on trash talk or fun and we do plan to keep a weekly update running. However, for now...it's onto the season and may the best man blog win. Best of luck to all involved. And enjoy playing for 2nd place.

Week 1 Lines, as set by us...not Yahoo!

Ghosts (-3.5) over Extrapolater (We think Reggie and Brees are going to go off in Indy).

Flyers Fieldhouse (-7.5) over Our Book of Scrap (Sorry Doug, anybody starting Kitna is a favorite in Week 1).

Signal to Noise (-1.5) over Empty the Bench (Best match-up on the board this week).

Sports Agent Blog (-7.5) over Wayne Fontes Experience (Too much MJD and McGahee).

Pyle of List (-7.5) over Bad Choice Milk (We sided w/ Yahoo on this one).

Pacifist Viking (Pick 'em) vs. Cobra Brigade.

Roughing the Reader (Pick 'em) vs. Sons of Sam Malone.

So, This Is How It Was Meant to Go Down

The Chicago Cubs had been playing just about as flawless of baseball as they could possibly play from June 3rd on. And that was just to get back into the playoff picture. That stretch of great baseball coupled with the plummeting Brewers aided the Cubs ascension to first place in the NL Central. However, as is with the ebb and flow of baseball the Cubs eventually cooled off (thanks to the Soriano injury), but the funny thing is...the Brewers went quite possibly from bad to worse.

So, coming into this week's series with the Brew Crew, the Cubs could very well be ready to put the finishing touches on Milwaukee's remarkable run and solidify themselves as the team to beat in the NL Central moving down the home stretch. Well, not so fast. Lost in the shuffle most of the season was the mediocrity surrounding the defending World Series Champion, St. Louis Cardinals.

Somehow, after everything that has gone down the Cardinals aren't too far behind in the rear view mirror. In fact, they are just two games back of the Cubs. And it's the Brewers who have slipped into third place. Wait, where the hell did the Cardinals come from? Was it Rick Ankiel that turned their season around? Ah yes, I am scratching my head and asking the same exact questions. When the Cubs first caught the Brewers a little less than a month ago and euphoria sank in, the Cards were nowhere on the radar.

Yet, as the final days of August settle in and the push for supremacy begins to take shape, it's only fitting that this division will come down to the Cards and the Cubs. And may the best team win. Let's be honest, neither Cub nor Cardinal fans would want it any other way.

The two teams face each other exactly 5 more times in September. The Cubs own a rain-out game at Wrigley, while the Cards host a 4 game set (including a double-header) the weekend of Sept. 14-16th. It'd be hard to argue that the outcome of the division race will in all likelihood be decided that weekend. And there will be no shortage of pressure on both sides.

Nobody is going to argue that this a pretty pennant race. However, nobody imagined the Cards at just a shade over .500 last season would win the World Series. So, here is to remaining mum on predictions, but the Cubs do hold a 7-4 season series advantage. And let's face it, nothing would be grander than to shove it in the face of all the taunting Cardinal fans and claim the NL Central.

Cheers to hoping and cheers to an epic race to close the season. I didn't see this coming, but wouldn't want it any other way.

The Top 25 "Obscure Sports" Movies: #1 Thru #5

Alright folks, this is it. It's the moment you have all been waiting for... waiting for a really long time that this. Well, the wait is over and the votes are in. The Top 25 "Obscure Sports" Movies collection is complete. It has been one hell of a ride and I would like to thank each and every blogger who lent their opinions.

For a complete description of the The Top 25 "Obscure Sports" Movies and the celebrity sports bloggers who contributed, check out this jump (Part I: Getting Started). For those of you who are too lazy, here's a quick recap.

"Obscure Sports" - Anything that is NOT football, basketball, baseball, hockey, or soccer (with a special exemption for hooligan flicks).

Also, before you get started on this one, you can check out the first few segments if you missed them. We're counting 'em down in true suspense-building fashion.

Part II: #21 Thru #25 and the Also-Rans
Part III: #16 Thru #20
Part IV: #11 Thru #15
Part V: #6 Thru #10

And now, without further ado.... Let's go already.

#1 - Caddyshack

There's only one way to truly honor the inaugural champ. It's the old We Didn't Start The Fire serenade. So, put on those mental headphones and kick back.

Al Czervick, Carl Spakler, cannonball, Spaldin Smails.
Dr. Beeper, two of those, six of those naked lady tees.
Free bowl of Soup, Danny Noonan, Is this Russia?
I got it from a negro and Lacy Underalls.

Dr. Frankenputz, What's that sign say, no fighting
You'll get nothing, and like it. The world needs ditch diggers, too.
D'Annunzio, a donut without a hole, is a Danish.
Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia

It's easy to grin, When your ship comes in
And you've got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile, Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

That about sums it up, right? Caddyshack is a truly venerable champion.

#2 - Karate Kid

You're the best around. Nothin's ever gonna ever take you down. Ok, well second best is pretty solid too in this case. There' not much you complain about when it comes to the Karate Kid. You've got Pat Morita as the undeniable most popular banzai tree clipper in the history of the world, omnipresent 80's bastard, Billy Zabka, as the subservient dick, Elisabeth Shue as the yuppie bitch, and the man, the myth, the legend - Ralph Macchio.

This plot is just filled with great writing. I always laugh when I imagine the screenwriter thinking, "I got it. He'll dress up as a shower curtain for Halloween and these dudes in skeleton pajamas will chase him down on BMX bikes into the night, climaxing with a big wipe out, whereby he rolls down the hill and feels sad. Strong showing Daniel-san and the Kobra Kais. Well played.

#3 - Better Off Dead

Ladies and Gentlemen, Andre the Giant is down. The Hulkster has taken down the Giant. It's a tuly stunning upset here at Wrestle Mania III. I really believed Better off Dead was gonna win this thing. I mean, Caddyshack and Karate Kid are great games, but Donkey Kong is the best game ever.

"This is a spectacle. Inspired words from a man who knows how to ski." Work that into your repertoire with a Cossell accent; you won't regret it. How a movie with drag racing Asian Howard Cossell impersonators could only come in #3 is pretty tragic. Nevertheless, it's a strong #3 finish and we're not complaining.

We give a special salute to Roy Stalin, a first round #2 draft pick in last season's jerk draft here on GoWF. Roy is one of the finest jerks ever to grace the screen. All around the cast of Better Off Dead is just epic. Charles De Mar, the drug deprived local, is one of the finist peripheral characters ever. You can just feel his pain with great quotes like this one, "Greendale is a bodaciously small town, Lane. A fly speck on the map - a rest stop on the way to the ski slope. I can't even get real drugs here!" [holds up a bottle of whipped cream]

Finally, while we normally frown upon the cliche, the "winning back the girl, but passing in favor of the real love" plot is well developed here. Unlike Teen Wolf, when Scott passes on Pamela in favor of Boof, Monique is a far better score than Beth in Better Off Dead. Well take the exotic French girl over Roy's trashy-mall-bangs-butch, Pamela any day.

#4 - Raging Bull

God Damnit, here we go again. The bloggers are trying to look smart. Of course our know-it-all boss over at Epic Carnival, Scrap, gave this one a 10 rating as did Gheorghe and Cobra Brigade. I suppose it is only fair though considering that any Top Movies list should have at least one DeNiro/Scorcese appearance. A real cinematic masterpiece, Raging Bull has some classic dialogue for your upcoming fantasy league, such as, "You punch like you take it up the ass" and "You listening, your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks, you got that?" As for Scorcese films, this is actually not even in my top 5, but it's often classified as a top film of all time. Who knows, maybe it's worth a closer look? It's Raging Bull crap if you ask me.

#5 - Happy Gilmore

Remeber when Adam Sandler was funny? Me either, but I suppose it's sort of like Santa Claus - it is totally ridiculous that you once believed in him, but you did nonetheless. Happy Gilmore stands the test of time pretty well though given the "happy place" with Julie Bowen in assless chaps and midgets running about the meadow. Good times and all. I reckon if I had a happy place, it too might look something like that, only with a lot more Taco Bell.

I have a theory about Happy Gilmore. I think that the Bob Barker scene is actually inspired by the great Nolan Ryan vs. Robin Ventura showdown at the mound from 1993. It's the old man kicking the shit out of the young up-and -comer. Check out the Youtube clip, Nolan's punching motion is actually the exact same as Barker's. See for yourself.



Well, that seems like a suitable high note to put this baby to bed. I hope you all enjoyed the The Top 25 "Obscure Sports" Movies project. It's been a blast and thanks again to all the contributing bloggers.

Monday, Monday: The Finest of Links

For some, this is the last week of summer and for many that means the joy and splendor of football is just about here. Hold on loosely, we are now only one week away. And it sure makes Monday morning's a little easier to handle. You've got MNF that night, water cooler talk, Fantasy talk...all is well. Anyhow, we finally held the GOWF Bloggers Invitational Fantasy Draft this weekend and it went, well...so-so...we think (speaking for our team of course).

It's an all-star cast of blogs that you all should be reading on a regular basis. Anyhow, we plan on giving the run through and the breakdown/predictions at some point this week. Side note: I finally took the time to go see "Superbad" and wasn't dissappointed (hence the photo). Well, that should be enough laboring from me...here are the links you gotta get to in case you somehow missed them.

Classic footage of Harry Caray and Steve Stone celebrating the '84 Cubs. (Home Run Derby)

Last weekend was the Loews Coronado Bay Resort Surf Dog Competition and, not surprisingly, dogs did indeed do what was promised. They surfed. With great enthusiasm. (Blog of Hilarity)

More Fantasy Football...why not? The debate over owning a QB and a RB from the same team. Shit, we took Reggie Bush and Drew Brees in the GOWF league. (Flyers Fieldhouse)

Some interesting, yet odd facts about last week's 30-3 drubbing of the Orioles by the Rangers. (The Buried Lead)

Top 11 signs Yankee fans are losing it. (Epic Carnival)

The Top 50 Movie Rivalries of all-time. (RivalFish)

David Boston passes out at the wheel, thus ruining millions upon millions of Fantasy Drafts. (Brahsome)

Travis Henry is the Shawn Kemp of the NFL. (Signal to Noise)

Finding the right movie qoute if you are about to get into a fight. (Pyle of List)

If Reggie Miller doesn't come out of retirement...why not Danny Ainge? (I Dislike Your Favorite Team)

A few courtesy rules on how to draft at a live Fantasy Draft. (The Pig Pen)

Our buddy the Pacifist Viking explains why he was pleased to draft Peyton Manning in the GOWF Bloggers Invitational...and with good reason. (Pacifist Viking)

Candid conversation with Magglio Ordonez and his hair. (Babes Love Baseball)

The Florida Marlins Dynasty that never was. (I'm Writing Sports)

Brady Quinn is looking like the 2nd coming of Eric Zier in Cleveland. (The Nosebleeds NFL Blog)

Summerslam, still the biggest party of the summer. (Six Pack Sports Report)

It's Funston's Last Big Board before my final draft...so why not? (Yahoo Sports)

Back By Popular Demand: Tom Chambers can DUNK!

Last week we dropped a little nugget on this here site all about the white men that could not only really jump, but were also some pretty cool dudes. Well, we appreciated the interest and backlash in forgetting to add Pistol Pete, but time moves on and so do we. Anyhow, we had to go back just one more time to take another look at the marvel of a Tom Chambers dunk. And how soon we'd all forgotten some of the nasty and vicious dunks he threw down.

By no means can it be argued after you witness this video proof...Tom Chambers was the best "white" dunker ever. And let these clips state the case.

The Reverse Alley-Oop

I'd like to see this one performed today. No "white" dude can pull this off. Ever. Again.

The Larry Bird Facial

A two-handed flush to LB's face, right after he blew by him on the baseline. Filthy.

Owning that Baseline

Another reverse. Did he patent these dunks?

Owning Magic?

Seeing is believing.

A Dunk Montage

One more time...the Posterizing of Mark Jackson

How do those nuts taste?

TGIF: The Loose Ends Edition (8/24)

It's another Friday 'round these parts, which means another quick hello and goodbye from all of us here at the Ghosts. It's a pretty busy weekend with Fantasy Drafts abound and technically one of the last two weeks of summer. However, we believe in the Endless Summer. "The Ex-Presidents rob banks to fund their Endless Summer." Yeah, yeah...yet another Point Break reference, but I love that fucking movie.

Moving on, a few items to share before we depart. I'm dubbing this the post-of-the-week around this good internet. It's from the good folks over at Cobra Brigade and they begged us NOT to even link this one, but oh well. We like, what we like. Here's for your good read.

Rupes and I dropped a couple posts over at Epic this week and highly suggest any anti-Ohio State fans check out our preview of what should be just a splendid season in Columbus. Check out the twist of irony in the moves the Chargers front office has been making in the past 5 years. They've made out like bandits.

And lastly, I have re-opened the doors on my inaugural website, Overserved.com. It's still in the initial progression stages, but it's due to be just a vent or mindless dribble outlet from me, from time to time. Check it out if you care to see nothing special. It's kind of like my B-Sides or Siket Disc.

And with that, I bid you ado. Expect more fantasy babble and what not coming back at you on Monday. For now, just enjoy he remnants of what is left of your summer. As per usual, I am about 2 hours from hitting the golf course. Enjoy and as always, make it a great weekend.

The League Manifesto: The Do's and the Do Not's

Hopefully, by now we all know the way Fantasy Football is supposed to be played. Turning friends into bitter rivals and soon enough actual enemies, but all in good fun...right? It’s should be like those old Tecmo Bowl showdowns, the ones where you wouldn’t speak to a buddy for days because you beat his ass or he beat your ass pretty bad.

After about a week, one of you would cave in and realize how stupid you both were, but two hours later after another Tecmo contest you were right back to square one. The cycle would go on repeat. It seemed so personal back then, but in hindsight it never really was. Yeah, I'm sure Madden rivalries are the same way, but as I near the 30 year old plateau it's just not quite the same.

Insert Fantasy Football and that's where I get my rivalry rocks off. And that's why today, I've decided to drop another installment from what I like to call "The League Manifesto." It's the rules to live and die by in accordance with Fantasy Football. Actually, it's more or less a "dummies guide" to achieving and sustaining an solid league. For the record, my buddies and I have had a league running for 5 good years. And it's been full of scandal and corruption, hatred...etc., but that's a completely other story.

For now, let's close in on some of the basics as this weekend of many a Fantasy draft closes in. And if you've been down this road before, simply pass this one by. Anyhow...

Do NOT have a crappy team name!

Read More.

Do get “shit-faced” for the draft.
This is strictly for the betterment of your league. Nobody wants to deal with a stiff at the draft. Look, we all know how serious Fantasy Football really is. And I of all people am the last person to take any course of such, lightly. However, when it comes to the draft – camaraderie and booze is the way to go.

It loosens the inhibitions and makes it easier for several things to happen. 1) Somebody in your draft instantly begins to draft on a hunch and takes David Boston in the third round. 2) The insults and hazing are much more genuine and intense. 3) It’s really not that fun sober – how fun is it really to sit through at least 2 hours of a draft?

Don’t brag about your draft strategy.
We get it…you have a plan; you have vision, you have this year’s sleeper – great!!! Here’s a newsflash…everyone has a fucking plan and everyone has sleepers and a strategy. Most of us get ours from Brandon Funston or Mike Harmon, but big deal you bought a “Fantasy” magazine at 7-11 and think you’ve got the world figured out.

I’m all ears to hear the innovative draft strategy…are you going to take a couple RB’s with your first two picks and then go for an elite WR or is it RB-WR-RB? Surprise me…surprise us; just shut the fuck up about having this “plan” as if the rest of the common world is clueless on how to draft and GM a fantasy team. (well maybe some of us are…)

Do frequent the message board and send belittling emails.
There should be a system in place for mandatory belittling of fellow managers/friends. The fact that I’m even discussing this issue is evidence alone it is becoming one of the lost arts of Fantasy Football. Much as steroids have plagued baseball…I sense the lack of ridiculing on the Fantasy Football message board is challenging the integrity of the game.

The message board is like an open bar at a Wedding. It should be used excessively without a thought of remorse or recourse of action.

Don’t be the League “Whistle Blower” and protest everything.
Nobody likes you. Controversy stirs the pot in Fantasy Football and if you have a problem with it, stick to having a Roto PGA team.

Regardless, every league has one of these. Yup, the one guy who questions everything from the points settings, to the roster slots, waiver wire and on down to any proposed trade on the table. It’s like somebody died and made you the Pope of Chili-town.

The worst part about the “whistle blower” is that he usually tries to persuade or influence at least one other person into his crusade and then all havoc erupts. We’ve all dealt with this type coalition forming in our league and it gradually can spin out of control faster than Michael Vick's life.

Generally these cults arise from (see next).

Do attempt to conspire with another Manager for a shady trade before the deadline.
I highly recommend trying this at least once. If it gets shot down by the league (especially by the whistle blowing committee) who cares? At least you’ve caused some angst, hatred and hostility amongst the natives. If anything…you’ve opened up a long thread of vicious posts on the league message board.

Don’t quit on the season if you lose your first 3 or 4 games.
Of course, I’ve never been in this predicament, so I can’t say I would respond any differently. However, if you are in the position…it takes total restraint to not just give up, but think about the lives of who you are affecting – should you choose to quit.

It can completely sabotage a Fantasy season when somebody caves in and bags it for the season. Imagine what it would be like if the Kansas City Royals just stopped going to the ballpark for games after the All-Star break. Or imagine they did show up, but had nobody playing 2nd base or Left Field?

So all of the sudden the Yankees and Red Sox get to feast on the Royals minus a few key position players, but the Indians and Tigers have already tapped out the Royals on their schedules. Do you see the injustice there?

Enough already, it’s imperative to bring it every week…even if your team sucks.

Do make complete fun of the person or persons hanging out in last place.
At all costs make sure the bottom dwellers feel the ridicule. Not a day or moment should pass that they don’t feel the pressure. By Season’s end they should be ready to snap like Matt Millen during a “Fire Millen” campaign.

Do embrace a potential Death Threat.
Now, this is one of the rarest of occurrences. Yet, now and again you will be in a league where there is a rogue player. Enough taunting and shit talking can push this rogue to the edge (trust me...I've seen it happen). In the greatest leagues ever written about this will turn into a death threat on the post board. Now, there are certain steps that need to be taken if this happens. Pay very close attention or someone in the league could end up dead (thereby forfeiting the rest of the games, which could fuck everything up).

Make sure you take the threat seriously and follow these guidelines:

Do not call the police (it would just get messy).

Do tell the rogue that you fucked his mother.

Do restrict his posting for 1 week (this will help build his rage as he reads all the messages directed towards him).

Do tell him you have pictures of him and a lamb having sex.

Do not let this issue die down (it can distract other teams from the real goal).

Do post on behalf of the threatened GM and tell the person that his moms vagina had warts all over it, yet you still decided to eat it out. This serves dual purposes, upsets the suicidal GM and pisses off the threatened GM (once again throwing them off their game, odds are they will start a player with a bye that week).

And when all else fails just remember it is only Fantasy Football. The rule states; “it’s amongst friends”, but hey all bets are off when it comes to Fantasy Football. And you should know that going in. If everyone in your league sticks to this criteria...you should have yourself one hell of a league. So, let’s not forget these sacred rules for sustaining Fantasy excellence…and I hope to see you on the message board...soon!

Coming Next: Chapter 3 in the Manifesto "Life as the Commish."

It's On Like a Porta John

Who cares if that title makes no sense? It's 2 days till draft day. After a couple months of passing the buck on commissioner duties and rescheduling drafts, it's official. The big GoWF blogger draft is Sunday morning and the big money league of our friends is Monday night. So, I'm feeling a little generous this year and am throwing out a little last minute update. There's been a few major shifts in opinion since the fantasy rags came out this year, so for the lucky few who read our delicious blog, here's what's new.

1) The Saints look freaking dominant - The opening drive of the game against Cinci last night looked like a varsity/JV scrimmage and Brees followed with 1719 last night in a rout of the Chiefs. Colston and Henderson are both out day-to-day with knee issues, but neither look serious. There's a wideout by the name of Copper who is worth a look and Patten looks like a decent sleeper. Also, I'm now seriously considering Reggie Bush for a first rounder. Finally, the defense still has question marks.

2) Donald Driver has a foot injury - This sucks, I love Donald Driver and I was hoping he would slip to the fourth round for a bargain. He got a ride off the field on the dreaded cart, so it doesn't look promisising.

3) Jon Kitna has been (gasp) out with back spasms - It doesn't appear to be serious, but this is Detroit. By the way, Drew Stanton is down for about 6 months and Dan Orlovsky has turf toe. The Lions bus might have just popped it's first flat tire. This is going well.

4) Brady Quinn is not starting yet, but he still might - There's a QB controvery in Cleveland and it originally had nothing to do with Brady Quinn. After stepping in late in the game (key words "late in the game"), the BQE threw for 155 on 13-20 with two TDs. It's nothing to turn a blind-eye to, but he's still not worth a roster spot.

5) Kenny Irons is out for the season - Solid Rudi Johnson complement in Cincinatti, Kenny Irons is done. He tore a ACL and ain't coming back.

6)Ravens wideout Mark Clayton is out with a sprained ankle - While he will probably be back sooner or later, sprained ankles are a fantasy nightmare. Sprained ankles = "Questionables" every week, all week.

7)Ken Whisenhunt is on Leinart's ass and he seems to be responding to it - Since getting a little talking to from coach, Leinart went 7 for 7. I don't know if that means anything yet, but worth noting I suppose.

8) Shockey, Burress, Toomer, Moss and everyone else in New York is faking an injury - I made that up, but it seems weird that all have little nagging injuries. Keep an eye on this. Eli on the other hand, now has something to prove. His tiff seems to have sparked a little fire. Could this be the kick in the past we were waiting for?

9) Redskin's QB Jason Campbell left the game with a knee bruise against the Steelers - Not that anyone is banking on Campbell for their starter, but he should make a serviceable backup this season for your squad. The injury is day-to-day, so probably not a concern, but something to keep an eye on.

10) Dare I say it? Daunte Culpepper is probably going to start - JaMarcus Russell has yet to sign or set foot on the field and Culpepper is throwing better than Josh McCown. His stats look good so far (well, if you ignore the four fumbles) and looks like a solid sleeper pick.

11) Michael Vick got in trouble and might not play - Weeeeee. Thanks a lot. I'll be here all season.

If you have any other tips or key injuries I missed, please let us know in the comments. We'll try to run this every Friday throughout the season. Good luck at your drafts folks & have a fun weekend.

Come On Ride It, Woot Woot

Ladies and Gents, it’s bandwagon time. Over the course of the next couple of weeks, prepare yourself for the experts breaking down the ins and outs of their NFL sleepers for the season. Everyone wants to make the call on who will be the big surprise for the upcoming season. Fortunately, I am going to lay out in the most cut and dry manner possible, the perfect formula for hitching a ride on a bandwagon. This is a secret recipe that was previously only provided to sports experts and journalists, but as I have said before, I have blogger hookups and shit. Consider this your Polyjuice Potion to transform into a professional sportswriter for a minute... or at least a bush league blogger.

Step 1) Pick a really shitty team.

I’m serious. To begin this exercise, make a list of all the teams who you actually believe to be the absolute worst teams in the NFL. It might seem silly, but don’t forget the goal here. You are really just trying to make yourself look good, so predicting an actual decent team to surprise everyone isn’t really a surprise at all. Thus, it’s better to take a shot at a real road pie and hope that they somehow pull off a miracle. That way, your friends and sporting brethren will think you really knew your stuff if and when the call miraculously turns out to be accurate.

If you need a hand, here are some good choices to start you off.

Detroit Lions
Arizona Cardinals
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Cleveland Browns
Oakland Raiders
Houston Texans
Green Bay Packers
Atlanta Falcons

2) Latch on to a story

Next, it always helps to have a reoccurring newsworthy theme to talk about, so you can constantly hype up your sleeper pick. This can come in the form of a human interest story like a comeback, a team rattled by a history of injuries and adversity, or an old guy making his last hurrah. Well, there is certainly no shortage of stories amongst our list of teams, so here are some examples:

Detroit Lions – the history of adversity and Matt Millen’s decision-making

Arizona Cardinals – perennial sleeper, is this the year?

Atlanta Falcons – You know the drill. I refuse to ever mention you-know-who. I’d rather watch a Barry Bonds documentary at this point.

Green Bay – Grandpa Favre and his one last run before retirement... again.

3) Go after star power

This is the Detroit scenario right now. The team still freaking sucks on defense and the O line is soft and gooey. Still, Calvin Johnson has everyone overexcited. It doesn’t really matter though when you have a superstar though, because stars are on TV a lot. Therefore, a .500% team that’s on TV a lot makes you look good. If every highlight from your star is on Sports Center forty times per day, it makes your call seem pretty decent. Other examples:

Atlanta Falcons – the Joey Harrington turnaround story.

Cleveland Browns – The BQE, Brady Quinn Expressway

Arizona Cardinals – Can Edgerin James bounce back, Matt Leinart the man-whore & Larry Fitzgerald the model citizen.

4) Pick a team that has made some progress in the trenches

This is probably the only area that requires a little homework. All you really have to do is check the free agent moves in the offseason though. A team that has made a real offensive line upgrade usually makes at least two or three pickups in the offseason. This is where a team that seems like they should be good can actually get good. A coaching change is often a good indicator in this area as well.

5) Avoid everything that Bill Simmons says

This one is the most important. Sorry Bill, I love the column, but your picks suck. I don’t really care if you gave us Papelbon three years ago for fantasy baseball, your NFL picks are doomed. You signed your death warrant going up against your wife. Nobody can bounce back from that, it’s just a classic curse scenario.

My Wagontrain

When it’s all said and done, I’m going with Arizona. I’m on the Ken Whisenhunt / Russ Grimm wagontrain this season. It’s a head trip, because I’m still jaded on them from last season, but I think a modest upgrade in the offensive line and Leinart’s quarterback play will make them one of the elite offenses in the league. I love Larry Fitzgerald and Edge always bounces back after a crappy season (don’t forget, it has sucked before in Indy too). So, there it is. You got yours and I got mine.

P.S. If you’re wondering about the Lions, all Lions fans know not to start the season off optimistically. You learn over the years, to predict doom and gloom and take any success as a pleasant surprise. The disappointment is too great any other way.

A Bitch Fight: Eli and Tiki's Little Tiff

You're a prick.

Well, you're gay.

Uncle Tom.

Don't slap me in the butt cheeks with that towel.

Uncle Tom.

Gomer Pile.

Quitter.

Hey, come on hands off man you're wrinkling my suit coat...pussy.

Ok, maybe it really didn't go down like that, but I'm always one to exaggerate. And I'd like to imagine this is how it went down. Regardless, by now the word has leaked that a media spat far greater than Paris vs. Nicole or Paris vs. Lindsay has surfaced, Eli Manning vs. Tiki Barber. It's seems like a breath of fresh air for the NFL, considering all that's going down with Michael Vick these days. They need a story like this to bump "dog fighting" from the front page.

What? You don't think this story has the legs to do just that? Well, consider yourself absolutely correct. Anyhow, in case you hadn't heard, the normally mute Eli Manning is stepping out (and not out of the closet), but rather into the limelight to fire back at former teammate Tiki Barber. Tiki questioned Eli's ability or inability to ever lead a team (and for good measure) last week sometime in front of a total of about 10 people actually watching a halftime report of a fucking pre-season game.

However, this is New York and word travels fast. Eli didn't take so kind to those words and went straight up gangster on Tiki. "I guess I'm just happy for Tiki that he's making a smooth transition into the TV world," Manning said. "You know, I'll be interested to see if he has anything to say (about a team) besides the Giants, and what his comments will be on that." Ok, so maybe not gangster, but still quite a step forward for a man better known as Sheli.

Barber called Manning's offensive skills comical and Eli fired back about Tiki's leadership and essentially quitting on the team. Sounds like a good old case of "my dick is bigger than yours" argument. Although, Michael Strahan was not available to comment or confirm any such details for the media.

Of course, Barber has since tried to back track on his comments on his famed Radio Show, but come on Tiki...just fess up and stop picking on poor Eli. It should only be a matter of time before Archie and the Manning Royal Family steps in to interject their thoughts...if they haven't already done so. The Giants may have thought controversy and animosity were in the rearview mirror. However, this just reaffirms that if a retired running back and a lousy quarterback squabbling can make the news, the Giants will always remain prevalent.

Should be quite the season in New York and we're all looking forward to it. Giants fans need not worry as this story should soon filter to the bottom of the news barrel just after Jeremy Shockey pops up in a porn on Skinemax or Plaxico Burress gets busted with an ounce of brick weed. For now, cheers...that this is the only thing ailing your team. And let the feud live on for a few days...to at least let Eli show he has balls.

AP Story Credit: Yahoo Sports

Upon Further Review: Madden '08 Ain't So Great

Well, it's been about a week since I proclaimed the release of Madden 2008 to be an annual Holiday. And after careful consideration, several thumb blisters, a brick of Skoal, a few hangovers and about 100 some games played...I'm taking it all back. Yup, Madden 2008 really isn't that special. Aside from the updated rosters, it's basically just the same game all over again...and it's far from special.

To be honest, what else can really be done to upgrade the game? PS3 in and of itself is the upgrade, which I DO NOT have yet, but oh well. Anyhow, Rupes and I bounced back a couple initial impressions over emails this past week and here the quick blurbs we each came up with, as far as rating the game. Essentially, my expectations weren't met.

Rupes: Overall Rating - 6

I took Madden 2008 for a test drive, but unfortunately only on the PS2. Nevertheless, I thought it was a solid upgrade, but as usual, it's basically the same game. I felt the running game was a noticeably weaker than normal, as the spin move seems almost useless and the juke moves are increasingly ineffective. As a result, the game seems too pass important, making a turnover on downs particularly difficult - especially in multi-player. For 2008, it is worth the price of the game just to get a lighting fast Reggie Bush in New Orleans and suction hands Moss in New England. I think New England needs to be illegal in head-to-head. I got my ass kicked and almost lost my sh-t they were good. All told, you're paying for the rosters, but the game is status quo - again.

Stan: Overall Rating - 7

Well, we are both a step behind in the technological wave, as I too am forced to trudge along with the PS2 version. Anyhow, my faults were more or less with the players. I was so eager to finally play with a dominant Chargers team, but it just doens't feel that way with this team. As usual LT is only marginally better and not just drop jaw quick and dominant like you'd expect. It seems like Barry Sanders was always given similar injustices by Madden.

Reggie Bush on the other hand is unstoppable, the Saints are solidified as my team on the game...hands down (more on that in second). I've tried just about everyone, but the Colts. I'm disappointed with Steven Jackson (expected more), Frank Gore is sweet, LJ is LJ. Surprisingly the Lions are pretty good. Kitna is accurate as hell and Johnson, Williams and Furrey are fun as shit to run 3 WR sets with and essentially play the hurry up run and shoot.

Yet, I wasn't too impressed with the Patriots one bit. In fact, this weekend (I know it's dorky as hell), but my buddies and I had a little annual tradition of just cranking out as many Madden games as possible. Needless to say the lady is ready to smash Madden already. Lots of empty beer cans and controller slams. A lot of people were anxious to give Brady to Moss a test run and most all of us agreed it ain't nothing like Culpepper to Moss in the '05 addition.

As for the Saints, I am undefeated with them. I hammer Bush down people's throats and it's been good to piss my buddies off. I use him in every package, counters, dives, up the middle, off tackle...he can't be stopped. I'm good to drop at least one or two 75 yard TD gallops. And when I'm not running Bush I line him up split wide and send him deep or hit him on screens & comebacks. He is the new version of Michael Vick on the game. After, I get sick of Bush I run a play action where I can either drop it to Henderson or Colston, both of whom are so ridiculously wide open it's absurd. It's almost an unfair advantage.

I tend to struggle playing with other teams, because I love using the run to set-up those deep play actions and can't find a comparable set of players outside of Bush, Brees and the aforementioned Henderson and Colston. All that said, contrary to Rupes...I played my buddy last night as the Bengals and he was the Pats. He built a 35-14 lead. I stopped even trying to use Rudi and just started milking Palmer to Johnson and Housh. Final score 38-35...Bengals. Palmer 430 yards, CJ 226 4 TD's. Housh 195 1 TD. Yes, I keep stats like that for bragging rights.

Team Rankings Top 5
1. Saints
2. Colts (I am just guessing)
3. Chargers (defense, defense, defense)
4. Cowboys
5. Patriots

Best Players
1. Reggie Bush
2. Chad Johnson
3. Brady
4. Frank Gore
5. LT

Yet, don't take it from us...remember we are still stuck in neutral with PS2. I'm sure it's a whole new world with PS3, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Ranking the Fantasy Quarterbacks

As we close in on a gargantuan weekend of Fantasy Drafts, we figured it'd be as good a time as ever to run a positional cap and rank. First up is the all too vital QB slot and I'm the navigator. Anyhow, the QB situation in Fantasy Football can always be a tricky one. Technically speaking, Peyton Manning has traditionally been the lone QB selected in the first round, for obvious reasons.

And pending on what theory you subscribe to this isn't always the best choice on the board when you take into consideration that guys like Drew Brees and Carson Palmer have been nipping at Manning's proverbial Fantasy throne for the past few seasons. While guys like Donovan McNabb, Marc Bulger and Tom Brady ain't too far behind either. I for one, tend to shy away from QB's in the first few rounds. However, I question if that is going to work this year, as it's a pretty even consensus that aside from the upper tier QB's...it gets to tends to be a crap shoot.

And you very well could be shit of luck if you hold off for that "maybe" guy in the later rounds. You always gamble on losing the edge of consistency. Well, best of luck with your draft process. And so, now I present my rank on the QB's on the big board and just what they each bring to the table. Here is my tier system...top to very bottom.

1st Tier: The Studs - They should need NO introduction.

Peyton Manning: Never a stretch and never a doubt. Manning is the type of guy who picks himself #1 overall, despite denying every playing Fantasy Football. The ultimate stat whore, who plays to the stats week in and week out. I've never owned Manning, but if he were to ever slip late in the first round in a deep league...he just might be my target.

Carson Palmer: He's about as close to Manning as you can find on the board. The knee injury is long behind him and his steady stable of weapons puts him securely locked into #1A on the QB chart. A lock for 3500-4000 yards and a probable 30-35 TD's, minimal INT's...is this the year he equals or passes Manning? We'll see, but he's been damn close the past few seasons. Thanks Carson for helping me win a title in 2005.

2nd Tier: The Safer Alternatives - If you can't land Manning or Palmer these are the targets.

Tom Brady: He earns the "hype" every single season. However, has he really ever lived up to the expectations? Cold weather and the Patriots philosophy of grinding it out on the ground makes me wonder. Insert Stallworth, Moss and Welker and now everyone is drooling over Brady's prospects. He's gotta be on the top line of the 2nd tier for those assets alone. However, I've still got my doubts.

Drew Brees: Made the leap to the upper echelon last season. And another season in Sean Payton's offense should assure there is no slippage. His weapons need very little introduction and from all stat projections I've gathered...he could be right up there in the Stud division, but we'll just have to let the course play itself out.

Marc Bulger: Consistency. That's all you can really ask for and Bulger brings just that every week.

Donovan McNabb: I'm signed up for Camp McNabb. I'm a firm believer in the McNabb revenge tour. This should be his middle finger season to all his doubters. And we should all remember before he got hurt last season, he was not only the best QB in Fantasy, but also the best player.

3rd Tier: The Ford Taraus' - They aren't sexy, but they can get the job done.

Matt Hasselback: He's good for about 3500 yards and 20-25 TD's. And that's why he's an honorary member of the Ford Taraus division every season.

Tony Romo: He's got TO and really that's enough for me. A lot of people are shy on Romo for the mere fact that he essentially shit the bed down the stretch last season, but he's looked the part early in pre-season. Yes, I know it's pre-season, but I've got to stick up for the guy who will be quarterbacking my squad in at least one League.

Jon Kitna: He's guaranteeing us about 50 to 100 TD's, which may not be so much of a stretch. However, he forgot to mention that he'll probably fumble 75 times and throw 40 picks. If you can survive on that...he's your guy. One bright side, he did take every single snap for the Lions at QB last season. And Martz has big plans for him in year #2.

Tier 4: On the Cusp - Due for breakout seasons, but also still a hint of a gamble.

Vince Young: He's either gonna be really, really good this season or take a huge step back. Your guess is as good as mine. Who the hell is he going to throw the ball to?

Phillip Rivers: The Leap year?

Matt Leinhart: See Rivers. Although, his upside appears to be much higher with the likes of Fitzgerald and Boldin split wide.

Tier 5: The Jeep Cherokees - They'll get you where you going, but always breakdown in the long run.

Brett Favre: His one last chance to make amends for the shit platters he's put up in the past few seasons. However, with Driver and Jennings on board...Favre still holds value.

Jay Cutler: He'd make the ideal back-up to a legitimate upper tier QB. He has the tools, weapons and potential to be a great fill in starter for bye weeks or difficult match-ups. I'd refer to him as safe option at the very least.

Alex Smith: I'm moving him up this year, big time. He's in a spot to succeed with a stud RB and a beast like Vernon Davis at TE. Don't underestimate the acquisition of Darrell Jackson...it's quite the upgrade over Antonio Bryant.

Jake Delhomme: I have absolutely no idea what to expect from Delhomme, but as long as Steve Smith is healthy...he can disguise how mediocre he really is.

Tier 6: The Test Drives - You aren't quite sure what to expect, but you always hope it's a steal.

Steve McNair: He ain't what he used to be, but with an improved offense in Baltimore he can't really kill you all that much, nor can he help you really. So, it's your call if you want to give him a roster slot.

Eli Manning: This is Eli's last chance to finally make a good impression. He can't hide behind that Gomer Pile face and the Manning name any longer this season. Make or Break or he's moving down to the shit pile.

Matt Schaub: The Big Question Mark.

Ben Roethlisberger: It really can't get any worse than last season for Burger, which means he bounces back or heads for the CFL. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, but he's a questionable back-up at best. Play the match-ups if you're stuck with him.

Tier 7: Waiver Wires - Only in deep leagues or desperate measures.

Jeff Garcia: He will likely be laying flat on his back or taking it up the ass in Tampa Bay.

Jason Campbell: We need to see a little more of this guy before he lands on any roster.

J.P Losman: He's got Lee Evans, which could be a good thing.

Byron Leftwich: Yeah, he's slow and he's an injury waiting to happen, but he'll give you at least one good fill in week if need be.

Tier 8: The Lingering Farts - These guys never go away...they just keep surfacing on some desperate owners team.

Chad Pennington: He has looked simply pitiful this pre-season. I'm scared this could be the end...I like Chad.

Trent Green: Enough is enough already...Kansas City is not regretting his departure, but you will be if you employ him with a roster slot.

Tier 9: The Used Tampons - Somethings are just NOT meant to be recycled.

Joey Harrington: What can really be said that hasn't already been said a million times before?

Daunte Culpepper: He's BAAACK!!! And just in time to sabotage some unsuspecting owner in your league, who still thinks they are getting Culpepper circa 2004. Not happening, WAKE UP!!!

Tier 10: The Shit Platter - Better get yourself some toilet paper to clean up the mess.

Tavaris Jackson: I've got nothing.

Rex Grossman: If you can live with actually scoring negative points from your QB...be my guest.

Charlie Frye: Uh, yeah.

Brady Quinn: Why not?

Michael Vick: Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-ya-death-rows-in-the-mutha-fuckin'-house.

Are You Ready for Some Football?

Is it too early to start pondering Week 1 NFL lines? Probably so, but I really don’t seem to care one bit. Fuck, isn't everybody ready for the real football season? I sure know that I am. It's hot as a motherfucker in Southern California these days. I've got no ambition to do a whole lot. Well, what I am really getting at, is that I'm desperate and I'm in need of Football. And not this pre-season bullshit. I gave up betting on the pre-season years ago for good reason.

The first sign of relief coming was diving into my first of many Fantasy Football drafts this past weekend. The second came in the form of an email from Sportsbook.com. And yes, there are ways around the system to place wagers on the internet still...don't be scared. And that is why today, I could no longer resist the urge. The Week 1 lines are on the table and let this possibly be a manifesto of opposites for you...if you so choose. I have all the intentions of cleaning house on Week 1. What happens thereafter, I can NOT be responsible for. And so if you will, let's take a gander at the match-ups and lines for Week 1 of the NFL Season.

Pardon the pre-mature ejaculation...

New Orleans +7 over INDIANAPOLIS

The Colts essentially have a few varsity lettermen from the local high school filling in on the defensive line. Their linebackers are small, their secondary is fragile and their opening the season minus the chip on their shoulder. Smells to me like a recipe for the Saints to march into town with a chance to win this game. Yet, I won’t be surprised if and when the Colts prevail, but I am just not feeling the Colts getting up too much in order to cover (7). This is still the worst run defense in the league and they’ve got to entertain Reggie Bush and Deuce, which shouldn’t be pleasant. And yes, I do really love the over.

Kansas City -1 over HOUSTON

Proceed at your own caution. Suspect QB’s, questionable defenses, the overall uncertainty of Week #1 and I’m just not going to let this game sabotage any of my many parlay’s and/or teasers. Who knows if LJ will even be there? Who knows anything about Matt Schaub? I know nothing, which is I we can just scratch this one...OK?

Denver -3.5 over BUFFALO

Well, I’m obviously preparing myself to lose early and often this year by taking an inexperienced QB on the road laying points. Fuck it, Buffalo is going to be lousy and I am thoroughly impressed by the Broncos defense. ***This looks like a deal closer in a potential 6 point teaser.***

Pittsburgh -3.5 over CLEVELAND

We are all Witnesses to the disappointment that is the 2007 Cleveland Browns. Thank Brady Quinn.

Tennessee +5.5 over JACKSONVILLE

Might even consider taking T-Shoe to win the game outright. J-Town has fucked me over one too many times in the past. Then again, let's be honest I wouldn't even bang this game with your dick. Does that make sense?

ST.LOUIS (pick ‘em) over Carolina

And finally a home team on the board that should win outright and cover.

Philadelphia -2.5 over GREEN BAY

The McNabb “fuck-you-to-the-all the-doubters” world tour begins in Green Bay. Start him here if he’s on your fantasy team with confidence, because you are getting at least 300 and 3 TD’s.

MINNESOTA -1 over Atlanta

Tavaris Jackson vs. Joey Harrington. Can you say NFL Re-play? On a side note, Adrian Peterson is a splendor of joy on Madden '08.

Miami +3 over WASHINGTON

I don’t know why, I really don’t, but I just think the Redskins are going to suck this season.

New England -5.5 over NY JETS

Brady to Moss. Statement game…the Patriots will issue their summons to once again be given weekly blow jobs as to just how good they are, were and will forever be.

SEATTLE -6 over Tampa Bay

The welcome to the “hot seat” game for Gruden.

SAN DIEGO -6 over Chicago

That is an awful lot of points to be laying for the Chargers, but the game is at home. There is a ton of pent up aggression and motivation in that Charger locker room. And the Bears are still run by Rex Grossman, who no doubt should be hitting the Gaslamp and getting fucking bombed as part of his so-called vacation to America’s finest city.

Detroit +2.5 over OAKLAND

Easiest game on the board. Have fun and be creative with this one, tease it, parlay it, take Kitna over 3 INTS, just have fun.

DALLAS -3.5 over NY Giants

Sign me up for the Tony Romo fan club, I believe in the bounce back breakout season for him…if that makes any sense?

CINCINNATI -3 over Baltimore

I really believe the Bengals get off on the right foot this season and what better way than to start out with a win over the Ravens? I’m hoping for at least 3 fights.

SAN FRANCISCO -3.5 over Arizona

The 49ers are the sexy pick to make some noise this season. Wasn't Arizona in those same shoes last season? A well rested and healthy Frank Gore should pepper the Cardinals as he did twice last season. I'm taking the Niners to open on a good note. And I feel even better with them in a teaser.

Junk Bonds

Don't be fooled by the name. A junk bond may be a little riskier than it's safer counterparts with better credit, but these high yielders often pay juicy interest payments if you know how to evaluate them. While they typically have a much higher likelihood of default, often leaving the buyer with a lump of shit in their portfolio, when you pick a good one, the rewards can be lucrative.

As usual, I am not talking about money, but rather the junk bonds (i.e., late round sleepers) I am considering for my fantasy football portfolio. It's the Rupert Entwistle value strategy and I'm giving up some gems today. Since Stan and I are essentially playing on the same team in like 5 leagues, our secrets are no longer safe anyway. So without further ado, here are some of the risky plays I am considering for my late round gambles in 2008.

1) Devin Hester - Do not underestimate the power of star. We know Hester has the return skills and will find the end zone at least a few times on returns, but now that he is a household name, I expect him to get a lot of playing time in the regular offense this season. I'm telling you, marketability = playing time.

2) Eric Johnson - I mentioned this in my New Orleans preview over at Epic Carnival a couple weeks ago, but I have extremely high hopes for Johnson in New Orleans. We know that Drew Brees loves his big receivers and Johnson caught 82 passes in 2004. I ended up with him on my '04 fantasy team from a lucky autopick team and have kept an eye on him ever since. He didn't collapse since then, but just had a series of nagging injuries. Make sure to determine if he earns the starting job, but if so, lock him up. He's worth it.

3) Byron Leftwich - Leftwich is another guy who is backed by the full faith and credit of Rupert. He is a great quarterback; just another guy with nagging injuries. It's a contract year and his career is on the line. In case you forgot, this is still the guy who finished a college game on a broken leg. His balls are bigger than a bass player's. I predict a comeback player of the year nod.

4) Reuben Droughns - I don't love Droughns, but I'm more just a little skeptical of Brandon Jacobs. I think Jacobs leaves a void in the receiving game that Tiki filled so successfully. While Droughns is no Reggie Bush, he's caught 25 or more passes in the past 3 seasons and 39 in 2005. He'll be a very serviceable late round RB in my not-that-humble opinion.

5) Robert Meachem - Without Horn, I am not sold on Colston at #1. He'll see a lot of double teams and I am still not sold on the speed. Under the radar, Colston was a machine and he was a key part of my (ahem, championship season), but I am too skeptical. Thus, there is another Saint upon which I am high as a huffer. Meachem should make a decent #3 in 10+ team leagues for pennies on the dollar.

6) Eli Manning - Don't ask me. I just have a stupid hunch.

7) Ahman Green - He's got gas in the tank yet and nobody dares take the gamble anymore. Consider this, how many teams trust a featured back these days? Do you think the Texans really just bet the ranch on a geezer without thinking it through? OK, bad example. Nevertheless, he's a solid pickup for a flex position if he falls to a good value spot.

8) Muhsin Muhammad - Alright, now you're catching on. Old guys offer great late round value. Here's the philosophy. Don't predict a breakdown until you've witnessed one. Moosh is one of these wide receivers that will play until they are 85. I don't know how they do it, but it's not really that uncommon if you think about it: Rice, Monk, Harrison, etc. To put it in perspective, Muhammad is about the same age as TO. Chew on that.

Calvin Johnson will Fix the Lions.

If ever there was reason to get excited about a Detroit Lions football season it's Calvin Johnson. Sure, I know we've been excited once or twice before; Charles Rogers, Joey, Mike Williams and so on. However, I can safely say that I am more than confident this thing won't end in disaster. And these clips should give Lions fans more than enough reason to not lose sight of the optimism.

***Also be sure to check out Rupes guest spot about Mr. Calvin Johnson on "A Price Above Bip Roberts"...if you haven't already done so.

The Interview Session...I like this dude already.

The New Human Highlight Reel.

Back on the Train: The Monday Morning Links

Another day, same old shit. And we're off and welcoming the new week with open arms, in case you couldn't notice. With the new week comes our Monday Morning link dump (if you've got something to include always send your tips here). Just doing our part and trying to share the good vibes and/or reads we find 'round this here internet during our Monday through Friday tour of duty. As always we encourage you to take the time and visit these hits and leave your impressions. And of course, go out and grab that week by the throat and make it a great day.

"It took me a long time to get back on the train."

Apparently, there are some really hot Jewish athletes out there. (Doberman on the Diamond)

The ideal defense strategy for Michael Vick. (Introducing Liston)

Pondering how many Homers Bonds may have hit...if he wasn't hitting in a pitcher friendly ball-park. (CrashBurn Alley)

Always knew that Alex Trebek was a filthy drunk. (Deuce of Davenport)

Pacman's next career move. (Part Mule)

A rather interesting commercial starring Christina Aguilera. (Beautiful Game)

A detailed breakdown of the "Empty the Bench" fantasy draft. We were pleased to land Frank Gore at #9. (Empty the Bench)

The "real" 1980's Dream Team. Link of the week in our opinion. (The Sports Hernia)

Don't be so certain that Maurice Jones-Drew is going to a stud Fantasy back. We couldn't agree more. (Winning the Turnover Battle)

OMDQ is going mainstream...congrats. (One More Dying Quail)

***Also check out our interview w/ OMDQ over at Epic this past week. (Epic Carnival)

Barry Sanders video homage...we need more of this stuff. (The Extrapolator)

Never too early in the season to already be sick of those damn Manning boys. (Bad Choice Milk)

And these are the people that search for and read blogs...interesting. (My Brain Says Rage)

Another installment in the off-season adventures of Michael Vick from Big Daddy Drew. (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

Yup, the Tigers sure do have a lot of pressing questions right now. (Wayne Fontes Experience)

The good crew over at Brahsome is now LIVE and on the air. (Brahsome)

One Timers

Editor's Note: One Timers is a GoWF feature where we rap about the random odds and ends on our minds. Feel free to stick around and chat with us in the comments if you feel like hangin out.

I popped my Wrigley Field cherry this weekend and was absolutely awestruck. I haven't been to a few of the other great stadiums, but I have to believe Wrigley is the best ballpark in the country. The thing that I found so spectacular is how immersed the city is when the Cubs are playing. With the stadium right in the city, you really feel it when it's Cubs time. Honestly, I was so impressed - and jealous - by the Cubs fans. I wore a Tigers had and did not get a single smart ass remark and the St. Louis fans (who were out in droves) coexisted very easily at the Cub's bars. Just a really cool scene. I really don't have enough good things to say about Wrigley. I can't wait to go back. It really makes such a huge difference to put the ballpark right smack in the city, as opposed to say Yankee and Shea stadium, where they are out in the outer boroughs. You just don't feel the same energy in New York when the Yanks or Mets are playing.

As usual, I have been really enjoying the Little League World Series ("LLWS"). There's a lot to like about this event. I particularly love the visible emotion, especially the nerves. I think I really relate to the Little League world series, because I actually played at that age and remember how important it felt. Unlike college or pro football, which I certainly did not play, the LLWS brings me back to the prime of my athletic career (definitely 6th grade). Plus, not to get all cliche on you, but the LLWS is all about the team and all about winning. There is nothing else at play. It's kids who just want to win. They don't care about their contracts and endorsement deals (well, their parents probably do)like all of the other sports we typically watch. Laughably, the highlight of the series so far was a great game saving catch at the tracks, and the ESPNEWS commentator (Linda Cohn perhaps) freaking ruined this kids glory by proclaiming, "Oh bless his little heart." What a bummer, You make the greatest play of your life, get on ESPN, and the lady talks to you like your weird aunt.

Upon reading the great post over at the Sons of Sam Malone on the 10 best sports commercials of all time, I got thinking about some of the commercials I liked over the years. I went and found the old Be Like Mike commercial and realized that I love this song. I guess I'm a big dork, but I think this song is sweet and I'm filing it away in my mental memory bank of songs to cover if I ever join a band. Anyway, here it is. Man, I really worshiped this guy back then. Brings back great memories. I wish I could love sports like I did when I was 12. I still do, but it was just different then.



Next up, here is a little taste of my other creative outlet, rocking out. This is a little jam I recorded that was born from screwing around with the great Ozzy song, Crazy Train. Let me know what you think.

Get this widget | Share | Track details

Finally, I've been racking by brain trying to remember something. Does anybody remember those college football cards that came out in probably 1992 (+/- a couple years) that had these yellow strips with numbers that were meant to multiply the value of the card by 5, 10, 20, 50, 100, and even 1000? I was chatting about these things this weekend about how utterly ridiculous it was that we believed this scam. I mean, what a hoax. This company just plops a number on a football card and makes a $4 card all of the sudden a $4000 card.How was that even legal? Anyway, I cannot think of the name or find them anywhere, so wondered if anyone else remembers them.

TGIF: Tying Up the Loose Ends

TGI-mutha-fuckin'-F everyone. I'm calling this the loose ends addition before we vacate the premises for the weekend. Maybe you are sitting quietly behind a desk or at school, well not me. I'm heading out to hit 18, so have fun with that. Sorry to be a prick. Anyhow, Rupert is at Wrigley this afternoon, so right back at me. Jealousy is a bitch.
Moving on, a couple quick notes...we've been getting hounded over the omission of Pistol Pete in are "Coolest White Dudes" post and we are reading ya loud and clear. That's a definite oversight or what have you on our part and we sincerely apologize.

For a good read on just why the Red Sox won't choke away the AL East to the Yankees this season, head on over to our offerings at Epic Carnival from yesterday. Before you get too bothered by it, remember it's just sarcasm.

Rumor has it the Ghosts might, just might be looking for a weekend fill-in/Editor. Seeing as how, Rupes and I aren't big on keeping the site afloat, while we drink on the weekends. Anyhow, don't all jump at once. However, if you've got a "keen" interest...let us know and we may consider. Again, this is just a thought or work in progress.

Upon further review...Madden '08 really ain't all that great. That's just my opinion, but I'm also not quite sure what I was really expecting.

Random thought of the day: What would it be like to be trapped in Gary Sheffield's mind for one day. Kind of like the old sitcom that fucking sucked, Herman's Head. However, it'd be "Sheffield's Head." A stretch? Maybe, but I sure would've liked to have read his thoughts when he stepped to the plate at the stadium last night: "Fuck you mutha fuckers."

Lastly, no iPod post this week...like anyone is gonna miss it? However, I can tell you what album on my iPod is embedded in my fucking ears right now...the new Kings of Leon. This album just keeps getting better to me...you must give it a try if you have not done so already.

And with that, we're off. Enjoy that weekend.

Which Fans are the Biggest Drunks?

Look, I'm sure we've all been drunk at a baseball game. At least I "hope" we've all been drunk at a baseball game. It's a god given right, that time to heckle and that time to cut loose. If you really stop and think about it, a ballpark is technically the largest outdoor bar known to man.

I'm not about to deny ever being overserved at any such venue. Anyhow, what I am ready to consider is exactly which stadium/fans are the biggest drunks around. It's an easier question asked, then answered. Is it the Mets, Cubs, Phillies, Red Sox, Tigers, Yankees, etc.? Who is it? Do we really have a definitive answer? Well, I'm not quite sure and so that's why I open the comments to your stories and arguments. For the meantime, enjoy some of the better moments of drunk fans in the crowd. We've all been there. At least I know I've been there.

And you are probably asking yourself, why in all hell would I want to watch a bunch of stupid drunk people? Well, I asked myself the same question, but had no logical answer other than it's just funny. And for the record I am drunk as shit, as I type this very fucking sentence...so...

"I'm drunk, she's drunk, you're drunk...we're all drunk."

This dude is probably regretting this moment, every day he wakes up. It's like a slip n' slide...only it's piss!!!

Um, yes...this explains the Cubs problems.

Gotta Love the Brewers Fans.

A Classic Dodger Fan.

Red Sox fans can dance.

Don't start a fight with a Yankee fan.

I'm thankful everyday that there is no clip of me on youtube at a Baseball game...yet!

Make it a Great Weekend.

The Top 100 Most "Influential" People in Sports: Calvin Johnson

Check out this heady nug I contributed to A Price Above Bip Roberts as part of the Top 100 Most "Influential" People in Sports.

The Coolest of the Not-Very-Cool

What do accounting professionals, high school debaters, and white NBA basketball players have in common?

Well, besides the fact that they are going to be really rich one day, these people are all at a massive disadvantage when it comes to being cool. These poor guys get stereotypes as no fun, annoying, uptight, and even crappy in the sack. Perhaps none of these groups has it tougher than white NBA players. Let’s face it; the NBA is overflowing with the cool. Even Miles Davis would look lame compared to Dr. J, Dwayne Wade, and Michael Jordan.

Since the beginning of time, the league has been subjected to so many Duke and Indiana graduates that whenever we see a white guy in the NBA, we are programmed to assume they are a knob. For every one cool white guy who came into the league, there were handfuls of dweebs like Cherokee Parks, Christian Laettner, Brian Evans, Danny Ferry, J.J. Reddick, and Bobby Hurley. We grew up watching – and detesting - these guys and their pesky play and awkward appearances. When we were younger, they even made a movie about white gumpy ballplayers and their inability to get above the rim. While I totally respect these guys as ballplayers, they never could pull it together as likeable white dudes. In fact, with the exception of Duke fans and a few purists, most people despise these guys.

Nevertheless, throughout the history of the league, some of the whiteys made their mark in the annals of cool. So often, we see the white NBA players trying too hard by acting all gangsta, like Reddick and his terrible poems and rap lyrics. Today we are tipping our hats to the guys who embrace their whiteness and pull it off with panache. These are the guys with the goofy jumpers, the Rec-Specs, and the socks up to the sky. Today, we tip our hats to the coolest white dudes in the history of the NBA.

Kurt Rambis

Rambis is by far the number one loveable white guy in NBA history and forever the icon of cool. If it wasn’t for his size, Rambis could pull over on highway 80 in the middle of Nebraska and rap about travels in his eighteen wheeler and nobody would even question him. He is the down home NBA player complete with a dominating moustache and thick-rimmed glasses. Rambis was all heart and we are proud to give him a big thumbs up for the list. A little known trivia fact, Rambis had a reoccurring role on 7th Heaven as a basketball coach alongside it-girl Jessica Biel.

If you are like me and enjoy looking at Rambis photos for hours at a time, here’s a great tribute website.

Tom Chambers

As far as Chambers is concerned, sometimes a picture or an action shot is worth a thousand words. Dude, could flat out play ball and he defied the notion that white dudes couldn’t dunk. Do yourself a favor and peep this…


Larry Bird

Love him or hate him, you can’t leave Bird off the list. The tight green shorts and bleach blonde pube ‘stache may not have done it for you, but ask the 80's Boston ladies and they’ll tell you what’s up. Larry Legend didn’t get his name for that ugly ass three point shot. According to Isiah Thomas, “If Larry Bird was black; he’d be just another good guy.” Well, Isiah, you might be right about that, but I’ll never forget the game 5 steal against Detroit in 1987. I was ten years old and I knew that was not just another "good" guy.

Chris Mullin

He was the first and only white dude to sport a fade. And coincidentally he still sports the fade today. The soft little lefty floater, the re-birth of the Warriors franchise, an integral part of “Run TMC”…who can deny Chris Mullin?

Steve Nash

Many will attest he isn’t actually white, rather he is Canadian. However, he needs very little introduction, as he is a wet dream to play with for anybody in the league today. He’s wrapped up 2 MVP awards in the past three seasons and even flipped styles from long haired hippy to the spike hawk look.

Dan Majerle

Thunder Dan’s fame as a badass white dude came from that really terrible game when Nintendo first released the Game Boy. I can't even figure out the name of it, but you must know what I'm talking about. He was dominant. Thunder Dan was a suave tour de force. Plus, if you are ever in the Phoenix area, Marjerle’s Sports Grill has the best happy hour in town (4 years running). The Sir Charles chicken sandwich is to die for.

Bob Cousy

I hate show boaters. I mean I really hate show boaters. Even so, Cousy makes the cut, because he was after all, the Houdini of the Hardwood. Cousy was the original playmaker. Besides, rumor has it his dad was to blame for the hoopla crap. He taught him that the only way he was going to make it in the NBA was to play flashy. Regardless, he is often regarded as the best passer in the history of the game.

As you probably guessed, Cousy made the list because he played his game with style, because as you can see he looks exactly like the 40 Year Old Virgin. Plus, he has a heck of a story to go along with his career. From NBA.com, “Cousy grew up a "ghetto rat" on Manhattan's East Side. While very young he played stickball and boxball and stole hubcaps. At the age of 13, he fell out of a tree and broke his right arm. So he did what any other kid would have done: he learned how to dribble and shoot with his left arm.”

Scott Skiles

On the fact that he was busted with Coke alone. A proud Michigan State Spartan.

Bill Laimbeer

This is classic hypocrite material right here. If Laimbeer wasn’t a Piston, there is no question that I would hate his guts. Laimbeer is the quintessential annoying white guy, but he was the king of the annoying white guy. He was slow as hell, couldn’t jump, played a little dirty, and talked shit. Nevertheless, he is Bad Boy for life and I grew up cheering for him and I always will. Not only is he still the leading rebounder in Piston’s history, but he has fought with Bird, Barkley, Bard Daugherty, Robert Parrish, and James Worthy. Yeah, he pretty much took crap from nobody. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the head coach of the world champion Detroit Shock, Bill Laimbeer!

Bill Walton

Walt from the Vault obviously earns a spot on the list. Walton is another love/hate guy, but as loyal Deadheads, we got nuthin’ but love for Walton. This picture shows Bill hanging out with Bob Weir, his long time friend and member of the Grateful Dead. Stan even runs into Walton from time to time at the local San Diego Grateful Dead cover band night. It comes as no surprise that for a big guy, he still can move.

Rex Chapman

Dude was an oozy behind the arc. The famed Kentucky product could also throw down some nasty white boy dunks. If you ever stumble upon him in NBA Jam…look out, because “he’s heating up” is only moments away.


Grant Hill

Probably not the coolest on the list, but no doubt the whitest.

(Additional Note/Credit: "Jones on the NBA" also crafted a phenomenal piece on the BEST White dudes of the past 20 years in the NBA).

The Cubs Need Divine Intervention

That good fortune, that luck, that destiny...all that bullshit that was rattling off the tongue just a few short weeks ago is starting to dry up when it comes to the Chicago Cubs. No, I'm not throwing in the towel, but I can't say I'm bubbling with optimism these days. There needs to be some rallying point, some turn of destiny. And I'm not quite sure what it's going to take.

On the bright side of things, the Cubs are still keeping pace with the equally as awful Milwaukee Brewers, just (1.5) games out of first place. All things considered, that ain't too shabby for a team that has hit the shit skid for nearly two weeks now. And it ain't really all that hard to pinpoint what the hell is going wrong. Aside from Big Z getting lit up like a poet on payday in his last two starts, the Cubs are missing their most vital component in that line-up...Alfonso Soriano.

So much for all that CY YOUNG talk in relation to Zambrano, I guess.

Anyhow, the Cubs are just 2-7 since Soriano went down with the calf injury. And it only gets worse, he isn't expected back until September at the earliest. Yet, the Cubs must buck up and get back to the basics and live by the "we will get by, we will survive" mentality. Otherwise, they can ride this momentum swing right on out of the playoff picture. And let's face it, really the division is the only playoff spot shaping out to be realistically in range. They are now (4.0) games out in the wildcard...already.

More good news though, the Brewers are coming to Wrigley at the end of this month and as long as the Cubs can tread water up until that point...they have a shot to make some noise. It's not to the point of getting desperate, the dream is NOT dead. It's just going to take a little extra magic for karma and destiny to spin it's web back in the Cubs favor. I'm not ready to jump ship and really nobody should...yet.

And so with that, how about letting the immortal Harry Caray take us away with "Take Me Out to the Ballgame." The positive reinforcements are much needed right now. Here goes your shameless youtube plug...

Hmmm, What’s Happened to Kenny Rogers this Year?

The Hero for the Detroit Tigers post-season run just one short year ago, Kenny Rogers, is sputtering along on fumes this season. In fact, he's sitting on the DL...again. The center of a pine tar controversy, but nonetheless a simply magical and unhittable post-season run left many wondering just what Kenny Rogers had left or more importantly what he was putting into his tank to stay that rejuvenated. And to think the taboo word like, oh I don’t know STEROIDS has never been mentioned, now has it?

The main argument about Rogers performance last season was the substance on his hand in the World Series. Perhaps, they are barking up the wrong tree?

I know; we'd all like to keep that kind of stuff on the hush-hush. Look, let’s not jump to any conclusions. I’m just saying is all…could it be possible that Rogers was, um enhanced last year? How else could we really explain a 41 year old pitcher with a career history of post-season struggles and overall mediocrity, suddenly become “lights out” at the most crucial moment of his career? Most pitchers wilt away, not get better.

By no means am I saying he did use "something" to enhance his abilities, much like I believe Roger Clemens to have done, rather I'm just bringing the question into light. Rogers was nothing short of phenomenal last season, regular and post-season. He managed 17 wins against 8 losses with 3.84 ERA. The thought of ever hearing the words "Rogers stuff was electric tonight" roll off the tongue just seemed laughable for the longest time.

It just doesn't get electric without the aid of um, something...right? This season Rogers has struggled with the normal wear and tear we could expect from an aging pitcher. He's battled injuries and managed to spend the majority of his 2nd season in Motown on the DL. He's rallied to a 2-3 record with an ERA well over 5.00. His "stuff" has been anything, but electric or phenomenal.

Sure, we can always attribute age, injuries and what not to the diminished results. However, Rogers has lost any edge or velocity he may of ever had this season alone. It can't just go into the tank over night. In his last few starts before exiting stage right to the DL he was serving up gopher balls, fucking batting practice. He was peppered to the tune of 5,7,7 earned runs in each of his last three starts. However, the down slide started pretty much from the moment he hit the mound this season.

Again, just to clear the air...I'm not saying Kenny Rogers EVER did Steroids and I'm certainly not accusing him of doing so. Yet, it's also my right to imply the notion and ask just maybe, just maybe the pitcher we watched in awe last October wasn't all natural. The Kenny Rogers we are watching this season is a far cry from the guy who was pouring champagne over the police officer after the Tigers beat the Yankees in the ALDS. He's not the dude on the mound that was talking to himself, fist pumping, intense as fuck and all out filthy.

The Gambler has lost his mojo and whatever that mojo was...I'm not quite sure. Either way, maybe he just didn't know when to fold 'em or know when to hold 'em, because this ain't the guy who led the Tigers to their first World Series appearance since '84. And I'm asking myself why is that? And what happened to Kenny Rogers?

What to Do About Priest?

Fantasy Football season is just about in full swing, drafts are commencing and we are now forced to hold our every breath that our 1st round stud doesn't lose a limb during a meaningless pre-season game. With this time come the questions of what to do about (fill in the blank). That's right, the one specific player that you just aren't quite sure about, whether he be your sleeper or an oft-injured or even suspended player attempting to make a brilliant comeback.

Well, it just one of those things...you wrestle with the notion over and over and often times you over compensate and gamble a little earlier than expected. For example, a couple season's ago a lot of people went into the season knowing fully well that Ricky Williams was making a comeback, but we also knew he was sitting on a suspension and wouldn't be back until Week 6 at the earliest. However, it was just one of those things...you knew he was a capable running back, good for providing at least a few good fill in games, here or there. Last year, a similar candidate was Travis Henry, do you take the plunge or not?

Now, a lot of people will reference these internal debates in relation to a much more prolific producer. Like say, last season the TO debate of when to draft him, the "what about Portis and that shoulder" or the "is Carson Palmer" healthy debate, these things are common. And in fact, Empty the Bench did a great piece yesterday on players you should avoid all together or at least proceed with caution upon.

However, I like tapping into the fringe player market. And this year, the name that sticks out to me is Priest Holmes. Yeah, insert your joke here. Whatever; I'm battling an internal debate as to what I should do about the Priest. He seems like a viable fantasy option if certain things play out, as expected. As of right now, he is backed by GOD in his quest to return to the field. And his adversary, Larry Johnson just happens to be engaged in a contract dispute with the Chiefs. (Update: It appears LJ will sign).

Does Priest have the where-with-all to surpass not only Michael Bennett on the depth chart, but also possibly a sulking Larry Johnson? Well, I say no to the latter, but to the former...of course. How could the Priest not be the 2nd string RB in Kansas City...all things considered? And for an ironic twist of fate, isn't it logical to think that the Priest could fill in for an injured LJ if need be at some point in the season?

Correct me if I am wrong, but LJ carried the ball an NFL record something like 600 times last season (exaggeration). Anyhow, the last few RB's in this league to carry such an ample load in one season have never quite been the same; Jamal Lewis, Eddie George and even Shaun Alexander's ill-fated season of a year ago. And did I forget to mention the dirtiest bird of them all, Jamal Anderson? Well, after his 400+ season he was never heard from again, torn ACL...career eventually over.

Now, I'm not saying I'm wishing anything upon LJ, but just suggesting. It was only a few short years ago that Priest was a consensus first round pick in Fantasy Football. That same season, many owners were rushing to snag Larry Johnson, as their insurance policy in case anything happened to Priest. What a difference a few seasons can make? Most people going into draft day this year won't even consider the notion of the Priest. They'll snag LJ at #3 and call it a day. Yet, one sneaky owner will be sure to grab Priest on the cheap in the later rounds. And this person should be commended on the wise.

This goes against every principle my good buddy Rupes believes in, as far as handcuffing. And to an extent I couldn't agree more. However, my sole advice this season is to be leery of LJ and with a "potential" pick like Priest Holmes waiting in the wings, what do you really have to lose? Count me in on the Priest comeback trail...karma works in strange ways. He's on my draft radar, but I'm not letting anymore on, as to what round I might snag him.

Just be forewarned, if you are in a league with me and drafting LJ...watch your back, because at some point I'm snagging me a Priest. And I'll be glad to soak up the glory when LJ breaks down from the epic toll his body endured last season.

It'll be good to have the last laugh.

Today Should be a Madden Holiday

There are always those few select days on the work calendar that I’ve always felt should be modified as non-working Holidays. You know, like the day after the Superbowl, the first 2 days of March Madness and of course the day Madden comes out. Shit, I don’t want to use a Vacation Day...just give me the fucking day off and you don’t have to pay me, but you should. That’s how I feel every time one of these days pops up on the calendar.
Fortunately for me, I tap into any excuse I can find to not show up for work the days these all-too-important events land. And so, today you’ll probably realize is August 14th, 2007. It’s not just any old day, by now many of you already know that Madden 2008 comes out today (um, legally in the stores). Maybe, you’ve been lucky enough to pick up a random bootlegged copy, but I haven’t. And nor would I want to, it’d be like spoiling Christmas.

Today, I will wake up like any other day, but I will not go to work. I will think of some excuse like food poisoning, even diarrhea (I’ve got no shame). For instead, I will head on over to “Best Buy” with all the other geeks and pick-up a fresh copy of Madden 2008. I will then return home, get drunk and play against friends all day, sampling out various teams and finding “my team” that works just right for me.

It’s all about ironing out the kinks in the system. Everyone finds and develops a rapport with a specific team in Madden, or at least they should. The early prospects on the board for me no doubt include the Chargers, Bengals, Rams, 49ers, Saints, Lions, Cowboys and yes, even the Patriots. Word to the wise, I will never play with the Colts…never; it’s like using a cheat code and I find it to be a weak alternative when playing against real people.

If you want to play with the Colts on your time, during your own season…be my guest. However, when it comes to playing against live competition (that is actually in the same room as you) it’s “ixnay” on the Colts. For years, my buddies and I enforced this rule on Michael Vick, the Patriots and the Colts. We are borderline if Reggie Bush will fall into that category this season…we’ll just have to wait and see.

You’ve gotta have hobbies in this world and despite nearing 30 fucking years old, I’m none whatsoever bothered by the fact that I am planning a religious holiday around a fucking video game. To those of you who may find this a bit childish, I say to each his own. Today, is my day, it’s your day, it’s our day…let’s not let anybody or anything (like a job) shit on our parade.

Enjoy and I open the comments section to your initial Madden reactions, moments, etc. I’ll interject mine as the day wears on. May we all enjoy this day. And how could I not include a few youtubes for your viewing pleasure. Let the shit talking commence.

Rookie Breakdown

Player Ratings

The Trailer...Just for the Hype

The Link Dump: Monday Addition

It's Monday...again, which means another adventure into the doldrums and monotony of the work week ahead. And I'm starting this week off on the DL with a sever hangover. However, I'm here and that's all that really matters, right?

We drafted our first "official" Fantasy team of the season yesterday in the Empty the Bench League. We aren't terribly disappointed with the roster, but certainly not ecstatic. We were somewhat thrilled to find Frank Gore fall to us at #9, but aren't quite sure if his leg will stay attached this year. Other pleasing roster spots belong to Steve Smith, TJ Housh, Tony Romo (we believe, although we wanted McNabb), Julius Jones in the 7th Round and yes, even Daunte Culpepper as a back-up. Regardless, this should prep us for the other 5 or 6 leagues we are slotted to take part in.

Wait, where is this going? Oh yeah right, it's about time I give you the Monday Addition of the "link dump" where we spread the love and the links of our favorite haunts or top notch posts from the week that was or is. Does that make any sense? Good, let's move forward...

Hanley Ramirez is pretty good. (Vegas Watch)

The MLB Uniform Standings based on history, color and style. (The Pig Pen)

Shawne Merriman is going to tone down his act...just a bit. (Part Mule)

Red Sox fans are starting to lose it? (Epic Carnival)

Rick Ankiel weekend in St. Louis. (Deadspin)

Yao Ming's way more exciting when he's drunk. (Deuce of Davenport)

Why would a grown man bring his glove to a AAA game? Here's one reason. (The Extrapolator)

Brady and Brodie: A Tale of Two Younglings? (Arrowhead Addict)

A candid interview with Scoop Jackson. (NOIS)

Who is hiding under that mask? (Leave the Man Alone)

Tony Kornheiser is killing MNF. (Signal to Noise)

The British are coming and they are taking over our Sports. (Doberman on the Diamond)

AFC EAST Preview (Shot to Nothing)

And thank god, it's almost football season. These slow days and weeks are fucking killing me. As always, enjoy that day.

Tecmo Bowl 2008: The Return?

Could it be a comeback? Not sure. And not sure why I posted this, but oh well.

Just can't ever get enough of the nostalgia of Tecmo Bowl...can we?

Handcuffs Are Stupid

While I will confess, I have worn the silver bracelets once or twice in my heyday; I’m not referring to that particular tool of the man today. Rather, I want to air my grievance against the stupidity that is “handcuffing” in fantasy football. The fantasy football annuals explain every year that it is always wise to draft the backup to your key starters, particularly the running backs.

While I see the merit behind this thinking – that should one of your horses go down with an injury, you have his replacement ready to start without a hitch – I wholeheartedly disagree with this strategy. The flaw is obvious to me and I do not understand why so many people subscribe to this philosophy. Why would you draft two players to fill one roster spot?

In my mind, I would rather think about drafting a stable of 4 or five serviceable running backs that I would actually want in the game, regardless of an injury to key starters. Surely, some of these guys will be part of running back committees, but owning the whole committee is unnecessary. I suggest taking a defined feature starter in round one, another stud in the second or third round, and as the draft goes on, pick your spots with the committees to pick up late rounders that will get touches no matter what. There are a lot of committees this season and guys like Tatum Bell, Reuben Droughns, Marion Barber, DeAngelo Williams and Anthony Thomas, are going to be available on the cheap. Sure, they are not ideal running back situations, but these are all good players who will have important roles every week (well, maybe not A-Train, but I gotta support the Michigan guy).

So, pick your starters as you normally would, but back them up with good quality players who might be of value regardless of if your starter gets hurt or not. This way you have a shot at picking a sleeper as opposed to merely a wasted roster spot. Plus, these late round pickups are the kind of guys who win championships. The bye weeks pile up as the season wears on and a deep bench of RBs is the best antidote. Simply choosing two or three stallions to carry the RB load for your team will not cut it, because you will be stuck filling holes from the waiver wire all season long and praying for huge games from one or two stars.

Another glaring weakness with the handcuffing strategy is that fantasy football players all know about it. Are you forgetting that fantasy football is a game of complete and utter cruelty toward your friends and opponents? Do you really think your friends are going to let you handcuff your first rounders? Mine certainly will not. Every year, we either steal the second ring of the ‘cuff or worse, tease the steal so hard that the player who needs the second ‘cuff selects their backup player way too early, thus forgoing a starter for some useless backup.

Conversely, a lot of the handcuff players are legitimately backup players; therefore, nobody else in the league will want them (depending on the league size). Thus, they will be available on waivers should your starter get injured. As long as you are quick on the draw - meaning you can freely scour the waiver wires are work and on Sundays - you should be pretty safe to secure the backup without actually drafting them. Surely, this strategy isn’t going to work for a Laddell Betts/Clinton Portis, Reggie Bush/Deuce McAllister, or Chester Taylor/Adrian Peterson, but I highly doubt anyone is racing out to secure Michael Bennett (Larry Johnson), Travis Minor (Steven Jackson), Marcel Shipp (Edgerrin James), or Michael Turner (LaDanian Tomlinson). You will have no trouble grabbing these backups, should your first rounder blow out a knee.

Essentially, while many see the increasing popularity of the running back by committee approach as a driver for the importance of handcuffing, I feel the exact opposite. The more running backs there are in the league, the more important it is to pick and choose amongst those committees and evaluate who will perform well in various matchup situations. Picking up both backs in a committee is pointless. The day I start Clinton Portis and Laddell Betts in the same game is the day I forget to set my roster. Starting two running backs on the same team is moronic and I cannot think of any situation that I would feel comfortable doing so. Therefore, what is the point of having two running backs from the same team? There is no point. Handcuffing is stupid.

What's Playing on A-Rod's iPod

Yup, yup...it's Friday, our favorite day of the week. It means we get to shut it down for a few days and go on a bender...maybe. And it also means another installment of the "who's now" of the Sports scene and just what we'd expect to find on their most cherished playlist in their iPod. Yeah, yeah...it's gimmicky and it's playing it's course, but we enjoy the segment, so tough luck.

Today's guest spot belongs to none other than Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod is always one to come under speculation and/or gossip. And frankly, a lot of it just seems downright unfair. The man is the best living specimen we've got playing the game of baseball. He recently clubbed his 500th career homerun at the tender age of 32. However, now he's prepared to take dead assault on "800."

And so, we've popped open and found A-Rod's "Making Big Things Happen" playlist and if you'd like to, let's take a glimpse...

Rythm of the Night - El DeBarge
An all-time classic and this always serves as the cornerstone for A-Rod to hit the dance floor and show the world his "salsa" passion. He's never in fear of the camera lens when he hides beyond this soulful hymn.

Miami - Will Smith
Don't tell A-Rod this song is cheesy and a wee bit um, played out. He's just not buying what you are trying to sell. "Party in the city where the heat is on. All night on the beach till the break of dawn. Welcome to Miami...Buenvenidos a Miami!"

Rhythm is Gonna Get You - Gloria Estefan
This should need no explanation. Gloria is like a mother figure to him.

I Adore Mi Amore - Color Me Badd
Ah yes, the finest love making music available to man. Pour the wine and light the candles when Jeter is over for a sleepover or Mystique from Toronto he and Cynthia are about to perform an act of coitus.

All Eyez on Me - 2Pac
Hey A-Rod isn't some soft mangina. Dude is from the mean streets of MIA. He's got a little bit of thug in him, just like everyone else. This really ain't so far fetched.

Bailamos - Enrique Iglesias
His good buddy Enrique gets a nod, of course. The perfect track for slapping Jeter's ass when he comes out of the shower...or Johnny Damon's. Rumor has it A-Rod is much more of a JD type a guy anyhow. Although, he thought Johnny was much sexier with the caveman look.

We Ain't Going Out Like That - Cypress Hill
An oddball selection? Nope. This A-Rod's anthem for Curt Schilling. According to A-Rod that fat prick needs to show him some respect for shit sakes. Who the fuck does Schilling think he is? And just ask A-Rod, the blood on that sock was no doubt fucking fake.

Material Girl – Madonna
There is no shame for A-Rod in listening to Madonna. He’s totally confident in his being non-gay. Save your jokes.

Purple Rain – Prince
Love Songs 101. Purple Lipstick. I got nothing.

Yup, that is all...a good weekend to you all.

At the Movies With the Ghosts - Superbad

Editor's Note: This post initially ran on May 28, 2007. Since Superbad is opening in a couple weeks, it seemed like a timely re-release of our review of the premier earlier this summer was warranted.

Since this is essentially our first foray into movie reviews, clearly we need to formulate some sort of rating system. I’ve sent the other Ghosts emails about this from time to time, but they have all been met with silence, except for once Turd responded with, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” Well, the Turd responds to roughly 7 out of all 10 emails with a Patrick Swayze reference, but regardless, we’re basing the rankings on Swayze movies. It’s a five tier ranking system, from best to worst as seen below:

Point Break - "We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive."




Road House - "Man's search for faith. That sort of shit."




Red Dawn - "Well, when you grow up... then you'll know these things, Danny. Now get up here and piss in the radiator."






Ghost - "It's amazing, Molly. The love inside, take it with you. See ya."






Dirty Dancing - "Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame."




Now that we got that all sorted out, let’s move on to a review.

Superbad – Superbad is super good! Yep, they just come to me like that. This movie is actually not due out until August 17th, but I was fortunate enough to catch an advance screening last week. I’ve got blogger hookups and shit. The premise sounds a lot like an American Pie knock off, but it’s far funnier. Essentially, the two main characters, Seth and Evan, played by Michael Cera (George Michael from Arrested Development) and Jonah Hill (The guy who goes nutz on the proprietor of the Sell Your Stuff on Ebay Store in 40 Year-Old Virgin) are winding down their last two weeks of high school. They want to go out with a bang and pull a little ass before they graduate. Each of them meets a cute classmate who subsequently invites them to a party where odds look good that they might actually each get a little.

In typical Hollywood fashion, there is a quest of sorts that these guys must fulfill prior to just going to the party and pronging the chicks. First, they must buy some booze for the girls before they can head to the party, which obviously leads to some zany antics and all that. I’m actually docking points for this, because I do not believe that comedies need to follow this formula every single time. If you want to make a movie that is solely based on strong dialogue and funny scenes, it’s fine. There does not need to be a series of hurdles to overcome every single time. Frankly, it’s pretty annoying.

As you can see, the plot is pretty bland, but don’t fret. The dialogue in this film takes it to the next level. It’s literally one joke after another and it’s pretty epic material. Some of the funnier one-liners that come to mind (the short term memory isn’t helping me here) include: “I’m like the Iron Chef of Vag,” “Dude, lose the fucking vest, you look like Pinocchio,” and “(You scratch our backs, we’ll scratch yours.) Great. Funny thing about my back is it’s located on my cock.”

The cast of Superbad is familiar as it is a Judd Apatow production; thus, it’s a lot of the faces from Talladega Nights, 40 Year-Old Virgin, and Freaks and Geeks. Seth Rogen and Bill Hader play a hilarious tandem of misfit cops who proceed to get loaded on the job throughout the story. The highlight of the film is Christopher Mintz-Plasse, a skinny, geeky kid named Fogle, who lands a fake ID and changes his name to McLovin. When he attempts to buy beer he ends up spending the night in the paddy wagon with the sauced officers. Funny stuff happens. I don’t want to tell you the whole movie, right?

Ultimately, the movie concludes with a tale of man love, highlighting the friendship between Seth and Evan as they face heading to different colleges after high school. I suppose it is meant to be a heart-warming tale of friendship or something, but who really gives a shit. The jokes are hilarious from beginning to end. This film will probably still go down as an epic comedy, but the Hollywood formula detracts from what may have been a near perfect comedy. What we lose in plot is more than made up for with stellar characters, solid improvisation, and strong joke writing.

Overall Rating: Road House

Keep it Straight John

Who isn't rooting for John Daly this weekend? That's if he even makes it to the weekend. So, who isn't rooting for John Daly this afternoon? Big John Daly has always done it his way. Never influenced by what he should or should not being doing, John lives it...every single day. And it's hard to not like and support a guy like that.

In the days leading up to this PGA Championship, while most players worked on their putting and/or short games, Daly was out gambling. And he's not shy about admitting just that. Sure, you can poke fun at his life, the gambling, the booze, the women, the controversy, but to that I say fuck it. Big John is one of the most likeable golfers to ever brace the tour. And you do know why, right?

Because, John Daly is just a common man with problems, just like you and me. He's no different and he's not on any pedestal like many a superstar athlete. Perhaps, that's what makes it so easy to root for the big guy. I've only been to a few PGA events live in my day. And it just so happens, one of those was the Buick Open at Torrey Pines that Big John won. The support was just as equal if not more so than Tiger fucking Woods.

Yup, that's Big John...beloved by far too many. Yesterday, Big John shot a (67), which places him just a few strokes off the lead in the PGA Championship. Yet, most analysts don't feel as if he's even going to be around over the weekend. They joke that his diet of Cigarettes and Diet Pepsi are going to do him in during the heat at Southern Hills. Well, let's hope the joke is on them. Go get 'em and as always, "keep it straight" Big John.

Ok, What is Pedro Gomez Going to Do Now?

(Editors Note: Yes, we know similar twists of this story have long since surfaced. To be honest, we've been waiting on 756 just to publish this damn thing, but we got lazy...oh well...enjoy).

You may have heard by now that Barry Bonds has broken the Homerun record. Yup, imagine that. And you can probably hear the stampede of writers, bloggers and anyone with an opinion rushing to bash or praise the feat. Anyhow, forgotten in the whole shuffle is a man without a home, a fisherman without a net, a plant without light…Pedro Gomez.

For what seems like an eternity, Pedro Gomez has been linked and attached to the hip of Barry Bonds. He was never quite given the due respect he deserved and often times felt underappreciated by the man whom he was assigned to stalk. There was sure no love lost when Pedro got to put the final notes on the Barry Bonds Odyssey Tuesday night. Now, that 756* has flown into the night one can only ponder what is next for Pedro Gomez?

Immediately following the festivities and being shut out from a Barry Bonds exclusive, Pedro vanished into the depths of uncertainty. One could imagine that ESPN was all over Pedro’s blackberry with new assignments, very little praise and requests to get his ass to Virginia to cover the Michael Vick trial. However, we fully envision a somber Pedro looking for a new venture, a new path, something away from his oppressors at ESPN.

And that is why today we are throwing darts at a board and hoping we can find the ideal new direction for Pedro Gomez and his career path. And no, we are avoiding the obvious “Taylor Hicks” scenario. So, if you will follow along…

Dancing with the Stars.

Smells like a success to me. I mean, not a lot of people will know who the hell he is, but what does that matter? Let's face it; he's an overall nice guy, America would eat him up and he could do no wrong.

Work as an"E" Network Correspondent.

If he wants to stay in the media, but avoid the shit barrel stories…this has to be his best option, right? You don't think he is media savvy? Couldn’t you just envision him as the next Ryan Seacrest. Why not? He could work the red carpet, keep us posted on all the Celeb gossip and even spurn hot chicks, further confirming his gayness, just like Seacrest.

Gomez Out!

Live the Dream and Tryout for the Grapefruit League.

Having covered the Barroid scandal for as long as we can remember (and far longer than we ever cared), Gomez undoubtedly has some good hookups by now. Word around Miami is that Gomez is considering strapping on the stirrups and squeezing into some sliders to give the old diamond one last hurrah. He figures, if he could just tone up a little, he could conceivably raise some eyebrows in the Grapefruit League and get his shining moment in the Bigs.

Star Along Side Vince Chase in the Long Awaited Feature, "Medellin."

If Pedro could knock down the belt size a few ticks, he could join Vinny Chase as this guy on the left. We all know he looks great on camera, so why not take it to the next level and grace the silver screen? In my opinion, Gomez’s career will never be complete until he blasts some rails in a tale of Pablo Escobar. Who cares if the movie isn’t real… Or is it? http://medellinthefilm.com/

Host the Latin Music Awards.

He could co-host with Gloria Estefan and they'd even seat right next to the famous Al DeBarge, when his monologue wasn't running.

Write a tell all book about Bonds?

No, that just seems way too obvious and cliche. Besides, what could he really tell...that Barry ignored him for nearly half a decade?

Just come out of the closet already.

Seems like winner to me.

Can We Just Leave Barry Alone Now?

Just in case you've been living under a rock for the past few days...finally, Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's all-time Homerun Record. An exhausted nation and national media can finally step back and take a deep collective sigh of relief. And that really wouldn’t be so bad now would it? Haven’t we heard enough, written enough, played every angle just a wee bit much?

For the record, my take on Bonds has done a complete “180.” And it’s really nothing that he has done in particular to repair or polish his image. It’s you, me, us, them and everyone that has changed my perspective. I mean, how many times can we hear the steroid jokes, the rumors, the gossip column and not be ready to gag ourselves?

Ok, maybe you aren’t feeling my vibe, but I am begging everyone…to just end all this non-sense. At the onset of #756, stories were littered around the internet with steroids and asterisks as the stem of the jokes. Look, I get it…maybe the dude did steroids, maybe he didn’t, but you can’t deny that he just broke a pretty elite record. Jerk or not…when do we call the “beating the dead horse” card into play.

MLB, the media and this country have been on a national crusade and witch hunt for the past 5 years in relation to Barry Bonds. I ask for just one day, where we don’t have to hear Wilbon and Kornheiser bicker about this guy. I actually found myself rooting for him during the stretch drive to #756. How could I possibly not? I was ready to regurgitate from hearing all the propaganda about steroids, the clear and what not…that’d been shoved down my throat all these years.

The fact remains; he IS one of the greatest players of all-time and probably the best of our generation. And he was just that, well before he ever hit 73 HR’s in one season or watched his head swell to gargantuan proportions. I’m well past caring anymore on whether he is innocent or guilty. I’m going with the fact that is a phenomenal player and he is the greatest Homerun hitter alive…right now.

I get it, I get it…Bonds just has that attitude of “I don’t care what you think of me” and that pisses a lot of people off. What I don’t understand is why everybody cares so much. I mean he is unquestionably one of the greatest players of all-time, enhanced or not. Why do we continue to crucify this guy when nothing has ever really come up proof positive against him?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if this is the steroid era why then aren't his competitors also being singled out? Sure, a select few have had fingers pointed in their direction, but the face or the fall guy remains Barry Bonds. I know it's the same old argument, but what if the pitchers are juicers as well? Oh, yeah...we've been down this road and nobody wants hear about it.

Well, I don't want to hear anymore about Barry Bonds. It's time to just move, give it a wide birth and let it go. The shame in all of this is that a great moment took place on Tuesday night in San Francisco, but the majority in the media chose to crush any positive pulse it may of had. It shouldn't have been diminished as it was, but I guess that just how many wanted to write the story. However, now that the story has been written, I beg and implore everyone to just leave the guy alone already.

Rest assured, you won't see me pen about Barry Bonds...for a long, long time...if ever again. And I open up the comments for hatred and bashing.

Yardbarker Survey

The good folks at Yardbarker have asked us to post a survey on their behalf. Since they are the closest thing we have to an income off this baby, we're more than happy to oblige. If you have a minute to burn, they would really appreciate your time.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=Z3zIxR8DJgo7nONefmQtfg_3d_3d

Upon completion of all questions, readers will be entered in a drawing to win a $100 StubHub Gift Card from Yardbarker! There will also have a second drawing for 10 users to win Yardbarker prizes.

Storytime with the Ghosts: The Farmer and the Colt

This here story begins a few years ago on in nice little country town on a small family farm. There lived a happy old farmer and his wife who sowed the oats of hard work and provided fresh vegetables and foodstuffs for all of the local townspeople. The farmer would till the land and feed the livestock, while his wife baked fresh pies with the pumpkins, bread from the wheat, and muffins from the corn. Even the farmers’ three children worked from sunrise to sunset everyday to lend a helping hand. Every Saturday, the farmer and his wife with pack up the wagon and head down to the farmers market to peddle their wares to all the local villagers.

For many years, the villagers were happy as could be with the farmer and his wife, as everyone had just enough food to eat, the vegetables were fresh, and the baked goods were out-of-this-world delicious. But as time went on, the villagers grew hungrier. They wanted more variety, larger portions of food, and cheaper prices. The farmer and his wife were growing weary from all of this bickering and selfishness from the villagers and were unsure how to cope. The farmer did not want to ask too much of his wife, children, and the farm animals, but he felt he owed it to the townspeople to provide them with the food they needed, for they relied on him. He was at a loss.

Then one day it dawned upon him, if he could buy himself a nice strong colt, he could plow the fields faster, haul the crops to the market, and take the burden off the family and other animals. So, one day while his wife and children were performing their daily responsibilities, he went out to the livestock auction and bought himself the finest colt that money could buy. He brought the colt home and displayed his new horse to the family and other animals with pride.

The family was not exactly sure how to react. They felt relieved that the farm would receive a much needed helping hand from the new colt, but at the same time felt a little deceived that they were not consulted on the decision. The wife felt that they could have spent the money more wisely on new supplies for the kitchen. The other farm animals felt rejected, because they felt that this was a sign that they were not good enough. Finally, the children were ecstatic to meet their new friend, but also wondered why they were not invited to help pick out their new family member.

Well, time went on and the farmer spent all of his time with the colt, while the rest of the family began to feel neglected. They were starting to assume more responsibility around the farm and seeing less and less of the farmer. The colt made progress in his duties on the farm, but for every one step forward he would take, it was two steps back. Finally, one day the farmer and the colt were pulling two plows at once, a dangerous chore for any animal, when the cable attached to one of the plows snapped, and the colt broke his leg. The farmer was devastated as his precious colt would no longer be capable to work the farm.

The farmer was heartbroken. He has invested all of his hopes in this colt and could not bear the thought of not rising to the occasion for his townspeople. He knew the townspeople relied on him; therefore, the only solution was to buy another colt – this time even bigger and stronger than before. Again, the family and farm animals were hurt. They felt betrayed once again by the farmer, but understood that the farmer knew what was best and agreed to do their part on the farm, whatever it may be. Again, the farmer devoted all of his time and energy to the colt, while the rest of the family picked up the slack. This time, the colt looked like he just might be the answer to their problems, as he was growing very strong. Then one day, when the farmer was inside the farmhouse for dinner, the colt got into the barn and ingested some dangerous pesticides. The colt grew ill and was yet again unable to work on the farm.

This time, the family spoke out that they did not feel that a new colt was the answer to their problems on the farm. The mother wanted a new oven for baking in the kitchen, the animals wanted new feed and fertilizer, and the children, now growing older, were ready to learn from the farmer and wanted to spend more time with their father.

Even so, the farmer had grown obsessed with having a prized colt to improve the efficiency of the farm. He decided he knew what was best despite the family’s wishes and bought the biggest and strongest colt that the town had ever seen. This time, the farmer was just sure he had done the right thing, for nobody could argue that this colt would solve all of their problems. When he returned to the farm, he was very proud as everyone agreed that this was the finest colt they had every seen.

The farmer was very excited to show off his new colt and went to strap on the two plows at once. Oddly, the fields were already plowed. When Saturday morning came, he expected the family to be in a frantic rush to get all of the vegetables and baked goods to the market in time for the first villagers, but the mother and children had already made the deliveries. When it came time to fertilize the crops and feed the animals, he was again surprised that the family and other farm animals had all learned to work without the farmer and the colt.

The family and the other farm animals explained to the farmer that while he was busy working with the colt, the rest of them had been working together to efficiently handle the tasks around the farm. They had accomplished the tasks together and while they were happy to have the farmer and the colt to help around the farm, they knew that they could provide for the villagers with or without the farmer and the prized colt. So while the colt went on to be big help around the farm, it was the mother, the children, and the animals that ultimately saved the farm. So, the morale of the story goes: a colt can plow the grasses, run the fastest, (and catch the passes), but it’s the family that works together that gets the food to the masses.

Boys and girls, I give you the 2007 Detroit Lions.

I am the Dalton of Fantasy Football

It's August already and you should probably have already started preparations for your Fantasy Football league. Lord knows, we've been ready since June. And for the past 3 years our league, like many others, has been plagued with arguments, midseason rule changes, and draft issues.

This year there is a new commish in town and he is going to get things in order. The Turd will be running the show this year and I would like to outline my 4 part plan to restore order to our league. Please feel free to apply this plan to your own leagues.

1. The League Manifesto – This year I am going as far as to have everyone send in a signed copy at least one month in advance. Here are some key areas to cover...

A. League Fees
B. Point System
C. Trade rules and deadlines
D.. Fines
E. Payouts
F. Draft information (date, time, etc…)
G. Playoff structure

2. The Draft – First and foremost is the location. This might be the most key part to running a successful league. It’s the beginning of the season and the start of the shit talking. This is an area that we have done fairly well in for the past few years. This year we are going to step it up a notch leaving San Diego and moving to Las Vegas. Here are a few key items that will help ensure a good, clean draft...

• Draft cheat sheets should be sent out 2 weeks prior (do not rely on the league to provide one for you).


• The technique used for deciding the draft order should be in place 2 weeks in advance and those selections should surface or be rumored at least 3 days prior to the draft.


• Alcohol – Beer and Whiskey are the only acceptable items aloud on draft day. Always stock extra. A keg is a great solution.


• Time – Midday usually works best. This will allow some of the league to get drunk enough that they think about drafting Brady Quinn in the first round.


• Entertainment – See Bullet #2 above.


• Food – Ditto. Bullet. #2.


• Make sure the timekeeper is not too drunk.


• No outsiders – This is a key item. Do not allow anyone to be present during the draft if they are not part of the league. (obviously this rule does not apply to strippers).

3. The website – A key part to any league is the sharing of information. I prefer using Yahoo, but there are tons of sites to choose from. Pick one that best fits your league needs. Make sure everyone has an account and that they have signed in at least 2 weeks prior to the draft. I am not a fan of using the online draft setup (see item 2). Setting up the site correctly will make your job as commish much easier.

4. Be Nice!! – “If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal”

“I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.”

Follow these simple rules and you to can regain order in your own leagues.

I Should've Invested in Vitamin Water

The Sports "Energy" Drink market has always provided a revenue stream. For years, the competition for market share has been securely owned by Gatorade. And in fact, unbeknown to my knowledge, Gatorade is in all likelihood still the leading figure. When you take into account the proven track record, famous endorsers such as Michael Jordan (back in the day) and the recent additions of Peyton Manning, Derek Jeter, and so on...it all makes sense.

Powerade tried to become a major player in the market with the signing of LeBron James, but although backed by Coca-Cola they still just haven't risen to the heights of Gatorade. You may recall that Powerade also tried to play a sneaky marketing role in the promotions of the "Matrix" films, where a secret agent encouraged consumers to drink Powerade. Uh, didn't quite buy into that one.

The funny thing that you may not realize is that Gatorade is owned and promoted by a sector of Pepsi Co. You see, it all boils down to Coke versus Pepsi. Powerade has gone as far as pushing their own flavor for LeBron (FLAVA23). Coincidentally, LeBron is also inked with Sprite, another Coca-Cola product.

Look, we all can agree that Gatorade has the marketing team to stay on top. Those nifty commercials with Keith Jackson explaining the origins of Gatorade and the classic "Be Like Mike" and now "the Re-birth of Cool." However, Vitamin Water is pushing to become a serious player in the Sports drink market. And we all should've see it coming.

To be honest, I'll take a Vitamin Water any day of the week over a Gatorade. You have your preferences and I have mine. It's owned and branded by Glaceau, which is parented by Energy Brands Inc. Hard to believe, but it first surfaced around 1996. It's heightened popularity came about when spokesmen such as David Wright, David Ortiz, Tony Parker, Tracy McGrady, Kasey Kahne, Brian Urlacher and LT to name a few came aboard.

Not that anyone would ever let outside influence swing their decision in which drink they choose, of course not. Anyhow, in 2004 Vitamin Water went after a different avenue and snagged up rapper 50 Cent. He bought a stake in the company and now has his own brand "Formula 50."

Like I said, my preference of Vitamin Water over Gatorade developed sometime ago and it wasn't based on who was pitching the product. So, where did I go wrong by not forking up some cash to buy shares? Vitamnin Water has far surpassed Powerade in the industry and about 4 years ago would've been the ideal time to jump on the bandwagon. However, here I am left out in the cold, just watching the drink become more of a mainstay in the business.

The funny thing is, we all could have been on the ship and been sitting on a decent kickback. You see, Coca-Cola paid an estimated $4 Billion for Vitamin Water a few months back, which would've no doubt seen it's shares rise beyond expectations...or so I imagine. In essence, this is still all about a battle between Coke and Pepsi. However, it'd be far fetched to think that Vitamin Water won't continue to be a player in the market. And for that, I continue to kick myself.

So pick your poison, but just realize...we all missed out. And so with that, enjoy these various Vitamin Water bits and go snag yourself a nice cold Vitamin Water XXX, it's coated with anti-oxidants and is great for a hangover. And now, I end my lousy sales pitch...just drink Vitamin Water is all.

Catching Up With Mateen

You may not know much about him nor care, but Mateen Cleaves holds a dear and special place in my heart. And that’s why I’m going to tell you a little more about the man, the myth and the legend. Hopefully, you’ll become well acquainted with Mateen and understand just what a warrior the dude really was - and still is for that matter.

Mateen Cleaves fell into Tom Izzo's lap after Maurice Taylor, Tractor Traylor and some remnants of the dying Michigan Basketball program nearly killed the poor guy. They flipped a Ford Explorer he was a passenger in, during a recruiting visit. From the moment he stepped foot onto the campus in East Lansing he brought with him "hope."

He helped lead the Michigan State Spartans to several Big 10 Championships, as well as few births in the Final Four. He was able to will his team with that warrior mentality during the 2000 NCAA tournament, in a couple epic comebacks along the way. The Spartans would go on to win their first National Championship since 1979 that same year. You may recall a fellow by the name of Magic Johnson led that '79 title team.

Anyhow, Spartan fans will always remember the infamous Teddy Dupay of Florida, who undercut Cleaves, leading to sprained ankle in the title game. Cleaves disappeared to the locker room, but returned in Willis Reed like fashion to lead the Spartans to the title. Who could ever forget those words: “It FEEL GOOD!” Yup, we know Mateen it sure did feel good. And my god, it only seems like yesterday.

Well, Cleaves hasn’t exactly been rolling in success on the basketball court since that magical night. He was originally drafted by the Detroit Pistons, but simply dwindled away into mediocrity before they shipped him out of town. He spent sometime as the highest paid cheerleader in the NBA on the Sacramento, Cleveland and Seattle benches. His notoriously atrocious looking sweaters, perhaps even led to the NBA enforced dress code.

Anyhow, Cleaves stuck it out. He stuck around; despite not smelling a lick of the basketball court and often times he may or may not have even been issued a game uniform. However, not once did any of that stuff deter Cleaves from staying positive and learning from the game. As he said on draft night “I’m a Warrior.” Yup, the prophecy holding so true, as most would’ve just thrown in the towel and called it good.

His final cut was in 2005-06 with the Sonics, but since then he has surfaced overseas, in the development league and most recently around NBA Summer leagues. In fact, Cleaves was invited to participate in the summer league that just passed with the Minnesota Timberwolves. Rumor has it, KG demanded to be traded on the premise that Cleaves would probably not make the team…I joke, I kid.

In reality, Cleaves was commended over the camp, but not for spectacular play. He averaged a mere 12 minutes a game to go along with 5.2 ppg and about 1 assist. Rather, Cleaves was an elder statesman who competed and provided the younger players with honest advice. To many, Cleaves would be considered an NBA casualty. However, he never left school early or forfeited his education for basketball.

He stuck out a dream and continues to chase that dream, even though he knows he may be chasing shadows. He’s never been a man about ego and his representation at Summer Camp, further backed the notion. “Lot of guys my age won’t play Summer League. Not me, It’s not about ego. I have no ego, nothing. I just want to play basketball. And I still think I can do it here.”

Cleaves never felt entitled to anything and that's an attitude he tried to share with many of the rookies and younger players playing in their first summer league. He was never the most talented guy on the block, but his heart more than made up for any athleticism he lacked. At nearly 30 years old now and a life as a journeyman who rides the pine, it's only inevitable that his career will soon be coming to an end.

You probably won't see his name on any NBA roster this fall, but don't disregard any possible influence he may of had on players such as Corey Brewer or Randy Foye. Cleaves will continue to work on his game in the meantime and play the game he loves, but don't ever feel sorry for Mateen. He accomplished quite a lot in his Basketball career and will always remain beloved by any who cheer for the Spartans.

He is living proof that despite not making it to the famed lifestyle of an NBA star, it isn't the end of the world. The dude is always happy regardless and really isn't that what is most important? It's a shame more players in the league or trying to make it in the league can't adopt the same attitude, mindset and philosophy Cleaves carries with him on a regular basis. The world would no doubt be a better place with a few more Mateen Cleaves' in it.

And to that I say cheers Mateen. I'll never forget the smile and I'll never forget the night you made the phrase "It FEEL GOOD" stick in our long term memory.

(Additional Credits: Startribune.com)

Is Pedro Going to Help the Mets?

Perhaps, the best pick-up in Baseball this season will be when Pedro Martinez returns to the Mets sometime in late August or early September. Ever since the deadline many have been quick to point out that the Braves made all the right moves to overthrow the Mets from the leader board in the NL East. However, to that notion…I say non-sense.

This week the Braves visit New York for a three game series. A series in which the Mets could conceivably put an ample amount of distance between themselves and the rest of the pack. Aside, from the glamour of clinging to the (4.5) game lead, the notion of adding Pedro Martinez to a rotation that ranks amongst the Top 10 overall staffs in the NL would be a great asset.

And it just so happens that Pedro is set to throw his first minor league rehab start sometime this week. How's that for timing?

In order to bide time, the Mets have gotten steady pitching from Oliver Perez, Orlando Hernandez and front end stalwarts John Maine and Tom Glavine. In the back of the bullpen, Billy Wagner has been as solid as ever converting 8-for-8 on save attempts in July. When is the last time this guy blew a save? Sorry Met fans if I just added a jinx.

Anyhow, Pedro has been overlooked since he went down last fall with a torn rotator cuff and left the Mets with a make-shift rotation for their World Series run. Well, the run ended one game short and the rest they say is history. Speculations abound were that Pedro could’ve possibly done severe enough damage that he would consider bagging it and calling it a career.

They must have forgotten the competitive fire that burns inside the eccentric Pedro. He is arguably “pound for pound” one of the best right handed pitchers of this or any generation. At 5’11 and a shade under 200 pounds, Petey never seemed like the type of guy who could intimidate people on the mound, but he can still do just that. His speed, precision and filthy movement on all his pitches is and was somewhat of an event to see for many a good year.

By adding Pedro to the rotation, the Mets may indeed catapult themselves into the drivers seat and favorites in the National League. Sure, the Braves will counter with the addition of Mark Teixeira, but it’s pitching that wins in October. And an experienced pitcher like Pedro Martinez provides ample post-season fortitude. That’s the one ingredient the Mets were lacking last season.

A well rested Pedro could present many advantages. As has often been argued, Pedro tends to wear down at specific times in the season. However, the Mets will be getting a fully vital and refreshed Martinez just in time for the stretch run. The fear of injury becomes a non-factor with Pedro making his return, as even he knows this could always be his last shot.

If anything, Pedro provides that laughable class clown persona to an already loose Mets clubhouse. You’ve probably heard his named batted around these past few weeks, as he begins his accent back to the majors. However, it’s also been just a touch off the radar, probably to the Mets liking. For they know, they are sitting on the best mid-season pick-up possible…a seasoned pitcher, healthy and in-shape.

Maybe he isn't quite the Pedro of old, but that may not matter so much. The extra arm alone could be the only thing the Mets need to push them over the top. Give it sometime, but in the end it could be the Mets proclaiming themselves as the deadline winners. That’s all up to Pedro now, isn’t it?

Michigan State Football Preview: That's Just the Way It Is

Alright folks, this is the sane half of this partnership coming to you to put the Spartans back in their cribs. If you're a little confused, I'm a Michigan fan and alum and Stan is a Spartan. We've decided to engage in a little Royal Rumble, by allowing each other to compose the opposing team's 2007 preview. You may have read these thoughts on U of M from our completely irrational MSU fan, Stan. Hopefully, I can get a little of my dignity back today.

Writing a preview for the Michigan State Spartans reminds me a lot of playing one-on-one with my little brother while we were growing up. Every year, I’d hear about it all winter. “I’m taller this year. I’ve got better moves off the dribble. My AAU team is better than any team you ever played on. This year, I can take you.” Every year it’s the same story. It’s the big brother’s right and virtue to beat the little brother. There’s a little intangible I like to call “man strength” that enables us to stay just one step ahead of the little brother.

This is the same disadvantage the Spartans face year in year out. As a maize and blue blooded fan and alumni, I hear the same argument from State fans every year and I always humor them, because just like playing with my little brother, you love playing with them and want the rivalry to thrive, but you just know on the inside that they stand no chance. Unfortunately for MSU, 2007 is not going to be any different for the largest Community College in the state. Let’s take a look at what looks to shape up this season for the Michigan State Spartans.

The typical 4-0 start will lead to the perennial “sleeper” talk promptly followed by the monumental collapse

It’s almost a certainty at this point. MSU fans will start the season down and out with low expectations. Then a few wins against UAB, Bowling Green, and Pitt (Pitt looks pretty lousy this year) should raise some eyebrows. The sleeper and possible Big Ten contender whispers will begin surface. Then, the Spartans will battle to death and take down Notre Dame, which will inevitably send the irrational optimism exploding into the solar system.

This storybook season comes crashing to a halt in chapter 5, when the 28 point crap in the pool loss to Northwestern initiating a five game losing streak. It’s all downhill from there.

Couches will burn

There’s not denying it. Michigan State students love fire. Who can really blame them though? When you haven’t seen the inside of a classroom and have been tripping on acid for two months straight, burning coaches probably looks pretty cool. In the handful of times I visited MSU in college, once a kid accidentally threw a parking cone threw his own window, another threw a giant rock at a random parked car, and I also saw a group of kids do some blow right on a table inside Subway. Any big win, and you better run for the hills, because East Lansing is gonna be a fucking war zone.

A new wide receiver will emerge as the ghetto thug du jour a la Plaxico Burress and Charles Rogers

Michigan State arguably produces the best wide receivers in the Big Ten. Concurrently, they almost produce the most ghetto fab, egomaniacal wide receivers. There is a clear frontrunner in T.J. Williams this season, but Devin Thomas is a pretty badass name, so I’m not ruling out a double threat.

Michigan will come in to East Lansing, walk all over the Spartans, win the game by 24, and wipe their asses on the Sparty statue. Spartan fans will resort to calling Michigan fans dorks.

Look, we've heard it all a hundred times. We are dorks. We get it. We already have the script to this whole stupid dialogue. I retort, “I forgot that half of you rejects couldn't get into Michigan and thus you chose the only place left that would accept your sorry dumb beep...”

Excuse me Sparty while I wipe my butt juice on your face

We love it when State fans call Michigan fans dorks or use the commonality of "we may not be good at football, but we’re a bigger party school." Better yet, "our tailgates are better than yours." Is there some sort of judge or evaluation system that rules on who can and who can't party? You didn't invent beer pong or flip cup, dickfucks. Here is another thing; just because you get drunk in a field and call yourselves the king of tailgates doesn't prove shit.

The MSU bloggers will berate the Wolverines… Oh wait, they don’t have any blogs. Spartan students are too dumb.

That’s requires, like writing and shit, man. Fuck that shit. That sounds like work.

We can expect at least one enormous choke job.

A Michigan State football season is just not complete without a totally inexplicable self-destruction to the tune of last season’s 46-21 loss to Indiana. Looking at the schedule, Indiana actually looks to be the logical choice for the big collapse again this year. Hopefully, this annual sodomy will take place at Spartan Stadium this year, just to twist the knife around a little. I love watching the Spartans get wrecked at home. Unlike the victories, the blood just stops flowing in East Lansing after a big loss. Football Saturdays like this in EL start like a tornado and end like a summer breeze. A good ass kicking sucks the life right out those drunks.

Did I forget to mention coughing up a 16 point lead against Notre Dame on primetime in the final 5 minutes last season? Oops, I must've forgot, since it is so rare to see your sorry ass team on television. At least, they capatilized on the big stage.

Finally, Michigan will destroy you.

Your dorky new Scott Bakula look-alike coach cannot help you now. The Spartan squad is just massively inferior to the mighty Wolverines. So tune up all your tired dork jokes and make sure you start your ‘roid cycles. That way, at least you stupid meatheads can pick some fights with the Michigan fans. It looks like yet another year of the inferiority complex. Don’t feel too bad though Spartans, at least you cracked the Top 75 this year. The little baby steps are important in your 17-year rebuilding program. Sparty on, you sorry bastards.

Michigan Football Preview: Some Things are Certain

(Update: There is always a response and rebuttal).

I should start off by clearing up one small thing: I personally loathe the University of Michigan. Not the town of Ann Arbor, I actually love the town and all the neat, little, intricate things it has to offer. Yet, when it comes to Michigan athletics and their self righteous fans…spare me. Perhaps, my hostility stems from the fact that I am a proud graduate of Michigan State University (go ahead and taunt me…pricks).

Anyhow, you may not realize this, but my amigo Rupert who also pens for this very site is a proud graduate of Michigan. It’s just one of those things, but certainly never a wedge in our friendship. For Spartan fans, the notion of “football” has been somewhat of a laughing stock, since God knows when. And I’ve learned my whole life to take the punches and roll with it, for on those seldom glorious occasions we do get to shove it right back in those smug pricks faces.

Apparently, Michigan is loaded this year with the return of Chad Henne, Mike Hart and Mario Manningham. They are a consensus Top 10 team in just about every pre-season poll, which really isn’t anything new. In fact, they are being touted as one of the favorites to not only win the Big 10, but also possibly finagle their way into the BCS Title picture. However, let me be the judge of those proclamations.

That’s why today, it is “I” who gets to deliver a soliloquy or omen on the Michigan Football Season. Yup, imagine that? Well, I’m here to recommend to all those snobby Michigan fans who think “their shit don’t stink” that I wouldn’t go making plans to travel to New Orleans or Pasadena in January. There are always a few things certain about Michigan football and I suggest putting these on your plate and letting them digest just a little.

Here goes…

At some point Lloyd Carr will be called into question and fans will urge he be fired. Real fucking original Maize and Blue. And that’s fucking yellow not maize. Anyway, like just about every other pro or college sports team, some jackass fan will stir up http://www.firelloydcar.com/ by mid-season. Oh wait, sites like that already exist? Well, guess what smartass…you and your 3.8 GPA didn’t invent the trend. That stuff has been around for quite sometime.

Ever sit in a room with Michigan fans and hear them go stark raving mad about Carr? It’s fucking priceless…they can’t ever come up with any cohesive logic, as to why he should or should not be canned. Well, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us…make up your mind?

Jim Brandstatter will gain another 25 pounds over the course of tailgate season. And his turkey chin will sag another three inches. Also, at some point in the season he will have an emotional breakdown on air about Bo Schembechler.

Michigan fans will swear that Mike Hart is a Heisman Canidate. Even though he may be...he will NOT win the award, please don't talk about him all year.

Michigan will “gag” as usual early in the season to a non-conference team and then demand to be in BCS title game picture after winning 7 straight. This seems to happen ever single year, but somehow I “think” they are going to avoid the plague this season, which should be a good thing. If I have to go through another fall, hearing Michigan fans talk about how they are “hot” and could hang with USC or whomever, I am going to vomit. Yet, not even Michigan could gag on Appalachian State, Oregon or Notre Dame…all at home. Way to schedule some tough road games you cheap fucks.

They will NOT lose to Ohio State this year. Of course not, the game is at the “Big House” and they are well overdue for a win. Let’s not forget the “inferno” seat Lloyd Carr and his job will be sitting on come this Saturday in late November.

Although, this does NOT mean they will be in the BCS picture or win the Big 10. That honor will go to Wisconsin. Sorry, Wolverine fans we know the offense is stacked and how could they not be the favorite, but book it…the Badgers are winning the Big 10. It’s really a crying shame considering U of M rigged their schedule this year to have only 4 fucking road games. What the fuck is that? Again, pussies.

This is the year they will lose to Michigan State. We’ve been waiting almost 6 years, gone through 2 coaches and several monumental collapses against the Wolverines since Smoker hit Duckett with :01 left on the clock. Ironically, that is the last time I’ve stepped foot on MSU’s campus. A week after that game, I moved to California and the rest is history.

I will no doubt become annoyed with pseudo “Michigan” fan. Trust me; these people are littered all over the globe. And I’ve managed to run into quite a few out here. These are the same people who have never even been to Michigan and just seek to agitate me at a bar, while I am simply trying to drink as many beers as possible to kill the embarrassment of losing 49-3 (2002) or trying not to hang myself after Braylon Edwards catches his 7th TD in an epic comeback.

Look prick, I get it…you like Michigan, but can you tell me a little bit about Ann Arbor? No, I didn’t think you could…please go back to rooting for the Yankees, Michigan Football, the Lakers, Duke Basketball and the Dallas Cowboys, ass.

This is an exert from a passage I wrote for an old website about an encounter with a Michigan fan in San Diego (I should mention she was NOT attractive at all):

I can’t help, but feel the annoyance of that high pitched nasal induced Midwest accent. Ok, that’s a bit harsh coming from someone like me, also from the Midwest. However, I have been in Southern California for three years now and have taken my fair share of jousting for the accent. So as of right now, I am taking full advantage of mocking rights. If you have a problem you can thank this dork sitting next to me that lived in the dorm her entire life at U of M.

She leaves little to the obvious she is a Michigan fan when she says, “Sweet Michigan State is winning that means ‘we’ are going to the Rose Bowl.” After she stands up and cheers like a hyena that needs to be put to sleep on Cobb’s TD to make it 42-14, we all get the point. First off, let me go on record to say that I would never root for Michigan (the enemy) in public, regardless of the situation, no way around it. I could have $5000 on the Wolverines to beat Grand Valley on the money line and you won’t even see me blink a drop of joy for that team. I loathe and despise them and everything they stand for, so shame on this pathetic “Michigan” fan for stealing my glory and making a proclamation that Michigan State has just propelled Michigan into the Rose Bowl.

As if Michigan State shirts weren’t a dead giveaway, she still asks us if we all went to State. No, we are really Wisconsin fans who feel that we can jinx Michigan State by wearing Green and White moron. Uh-oh, Q & A session coming.

“What part of Michigan are you from?”

“What year did you guys graduate from State?”

Of course, she answers all the questions before you even have a chance. I’m from Chelsea, I graduated in 1999. You know like anyone really cared to hear all this useless information about her life, you knew she has going to provide anyway.

I continue to try and ignore her and wear my annoyance of her on my face as the time slowly ticks away in the State game. I believe about 20 minutes have passed, although it seems like an hour. She has not stopped talking, nor has she given up her attempts to discuss her life with us. I’ve now heard her tell us and everyone on her phone that Michigan is on the verge of going to Rose Bowl, at least 10 times. I can’t seem to drown out that poisonous voice even as I slug faster on the Heffenwiezen in front of me, it is like deadly venom pissing on my hangover. It remains a constant with anecdotes about Michigan and calling her family to explain she is going to the Rose Bowl this year. Somebody please silence this fucking “Chatty Cathy” doll…I did NOT pull the string.

Inevitably, Michigan will be favored in their Bowl game and get beaten soundly. Last winter I sat back at a bar in Chicago with a pack of Michigan fans on New Years Day. There is nothing more gratifying then an “I told you so” in Sports rooting interests. If you sprinkle on the fact that I wagered on the USC money line, while my counterparts hammered Michigan, it’s even more gratifying. It’s always glorious when Michigan loses, but even better when I get paid to watch them lose.

And so there you have it, bring it on Michigan fans…you don’t intimidate me at all. Keep that dork with the cowbell to yourselves. You either A) didn’t go to Michigan B) you lived in the dorms all 4 years or C) are just a smug prick who deserves to be knocked down a peg. Cheers, and enjoy the “Blockbuster” Bowl this season…pricks.

Tossin' Links: Hang-over Sunday Addition

It's another installment of our weekly gander 'round the sphere. Where we give "mini" shout-outs to some of favorite haunts, as well as share some of the more popular links or great reads from the week that was. That's about it, our big link fest...apologies if you've already hit these destinations...if not, get caught up. And as always, be sure to shower the following with lots of love.

Barry Bonds has finally tied the record, but somebody ain't too happy about it at all. (With Malice)

The tactics of trickery and disinformation as strategies in Fantasy Football. And to think we've already tipped our hat with all these stupid mock drafts? (Pacifist Viking)

The Lions are just going to have to wait on Drew Stanton, he's already hurt...shit. (Wayne Fontes Experience)

This upsets me, but it's actually very true...the Cubs are becoming another Evil Empire. (I'm Writing Sports)

I always knew Neifi Perez was a cheat, but now he is stealing my Adderall and Ritalin. (Babes Love Baseball)

A look at the real probabilities of the Contenders in MLB. (Pyle of List)

The "Epic" series on the best Jersey in Sports. (Epic Carnival)

A few select un-tapped...um, hotties you don't know about in Sports. (Winning the Turnover Battle)

Fun with some non-profane nicknames for the NFC. (Five Tool Tool)

Only $19.95 to have a conversation with Larry Holmes. (Deuce of Davenport)

The "BEST" Erin Andrews pictoral you could possibly ever find on the web. (Barstool Sports)

Predicting the impact of this year's rookie class in the NFL. (Doberman on the Diamond)

Midgets and wrestling...jeez, twist my arm why don't you? (Blog of Hilarity)

An update on Jeff Samardzija. (Cobra Brigade)

Everybody's Working for the Weekend, but Not Us

Yup, it's one of those long weeks that just never wanted to end. However, the end is now in site. And so we've decided to give ourselves a break for the weekend. It's still a gorgeous summer out there and we are gonna enjoy it. In fact, I'm tapping out right now to go hit some sticks (um, that means golf). A big congrats to our buddies over at the Flyers Fieldhouse who are guests on this week's "Blog Show." Be sure to check it out.

And with that, we couldn't possibly leave you without some Loverboy...right?


Be sure to make it a GREAT weekend as always. Due back on Monday with some College Football Previews, maybe some NFL previews, a movie review and various jibberish.

What's Playing on David Beckham's iPod?

It’s a casual Friday all around today at The Ghosts and we are yet again dropping another installment of our off-beat bit “what’s on ____’s iPod.” It’s where we take a look into the “who’s now” of the sports world and (fictionally) hack into their iPod’s to get a taste of what’s striking their fancy. And today’s guest is none other than David Beckham.

Becks and his wife Posh were certainly supposed to be the “it” celebs of the moment. They broke onto the LA scene a few short weeks ago, running with Tom Cruise and his cult. Yet, the rumbles are a many that Beckham is hardly anything other than a prop in the world of American Soccer, as he has seldom even graced the field.

However, that’s still just not going to stunt our intrigue. And so, today we are tapping the inner Beckham and finding quite the variety on his “Coming to America” Playlist. So if you will, “bend it like Beckham” and follow me for a gander…

Wannabe – Spice Girls: What? You thought there was going to be no Victoria represented on his iPod? Get over it…she wears the pants in this family and sometimes even the strap on. When Becks was putting this playlist together she warned him; Spice Girls or full body cavity search. “So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want” was the warning. Becks thought it over for a few minutes and opted on the former.

Waiting for 7:18 – Bloc Party: It’s hip to like Bloc Party these days and Becks wouldn’t be caught dead NOT being hip. Although, boy was he ever shocked when he found out this dude was black, oh well. “Let's drive to Brighton on the weekend.”

Wonderwall – Oasis: For Becks, his beautiful wife Posh is his “Wonderwall.” She was the one that saved him. And musically speaking Oasis saved him. Arguably, his fondest treasure is the complete Oasis collection, bootlegs included. It gets dusty in the room for Becks when he hears anything Oasis.

Kruder & Dorfmeister – Conversions (the Album): Yes, Becks can have a full length album in the middle of any playlist he so desires. This is used primarily as a method of relaxation and mediation. The subtle and trance beats clear the mind and are ideal in moments of reflection just before a huge MLS game or perhaps, a photo shoot for “W” magazine.

The Drug Don’t Work – The Verve: “All this talk of getting older is getting me down my love.” Don’t worry Becks…you aren’t too old to make an impact in American Soccer. The MLS is littered with so-called stars that are well past their prime.

It’s Over and Done With – The Proclaimers: As Beckham bid farewell to his homeland and headed for the United States for some odd coincidence this song grabbed his attention. Never really a fan of cheesy 80’s music, Becks found solace in this one track. Posh hates it, she doesn’t believe in being cheesy…anymore.

Stand – R.E.M: That’s odd…how did that wind up on there?

Smack my Bitch Up – Prodigy: Another ultimatum from Posh. She gave Becks the “meanface” death glare, as if to warn him this is what happens when you disobey. This song serves as a reminder to never dare cross her again, unless of course he wants to be beaten with a whip, tied to a bed post and have a dolphin shoved up his BEEP!

A Day in the Life – The Beatles: Becks is still under the impression that every single Beatles song ever written was dedicated to or about him in some way shape or form. He’s well unaware that these songs were written and recorded in the 60’s.

Champagne Supernova – Oasis: Again, you can never have enough Noel and Liam Gallagher.

I Turn My Camera On – Spoon: Big ups for the paparazzi. Never shy of vanity Becks and Posh know this song is all about the camera being on them from sun up to sun down. And they wouldn’t want it any other way.

Snow (Hey Oh) – Red Hot Chili Peppers: As encore he needed something American and very California-ish. You do know Becks is buddies with Anthony Kiedis…so why not? Yeah, he stole it from the “X-Games” Theme tracks, but who cares. He is now ready to take on America at full speed with Posh looking like an Alien in the background.

It's Pronounced Gahn-Yay

While watching the old winners and losers of the trade deadline analysis the other day, I realized something. When people pronounce it properly, I get all confused by the name Eric Gagne. I am totally prepared for them to say Eric Gag Knee, like Greg Gagne. On the other hand, it must be painfully annoying for Gagne to have his name butchered by the media and fans on a daily basis. Thus, in Gagne’s honor, we have assembled a little hat tip to the Hall of Fame of Butchered Names. To clarify a bit, we avoided the overly complicated foreign names, because we were getting bogged down by the long list of Olczyks and Ozolinshs in the NHL. Instead, the list in more in favor of just the random mispronounced names. In no-particular order, we present a few of the great tongue-twisters in sports.

Patrick Roy (Patrick Wah) – Thank heavens for Sega Genesis. It’s bad enough that 97% of all girls still refer to him as Patrick Roy, as in Roy Munson, but imagine if every dip-a-toe-in-the-water hockey fan still did as well. As they say in Boston, at least NHL ‘93 and ‘94 helped spread the Wahd.

Guy LaFleur (Gee LaFleur) – This guy (gee) is screwed for life with this name. He never quite broke the level of fame of say Steve Yzerman to get the masses pronouncing his name correctly.

It’s pronounced “Gee." Not "Gee" like in this exchange: "Great, Dad. But I got homework to do." "That's okay, son. You can do it on the boat." "Gee, hon, isn't our son swell?" "Yes, dear. Isn't life swell?" But rather, "Gee" as in: “He went for totally (gee)k to totally sheik.”

Carl Yastrzemski (Carl Yastrzemski) – I don’t know what the deal with this one is, but people see a name that ends in “Ski” and they just start making shit up (I might have a little familiarity in this particular area). Fortunately for Carl, he got off the hook as most fans referred to him as Yaz, but I guarantee that his teachers all throughout high school would call him Mr. Tasterminowski.

Brett Favre (Brett Far-Veh) – Shit, I can’t even pronounce this right on paper. Well, Brett has the undisputed most disastrous name in the history of pro sports. The sheer difficulty of Brett’s Surname is immortalized on the silver screen in "There’s Something About Mary." The trick to Brett Favre’s pronumciation is to just belt it out with confidence. Nobody really knows how to say this one, so whatever you choose, just say it like you mean it.

Tim Biakabutuka (Tim Bee-Ah-Ka-Buh-Too-Kah) – Despite a stellar college career at the University of Michigan, the 8th selection in the NFL draft, and a decent NFL career with the Carolina Panthers, nobody ever came close to getting this name right. Oh and by the way, his first name is actually Tshimanga. Tim is wrong too, but he just assumes you’re all too dumb to even bother. I guess you can’t blame Tim for succumbing to the easy abbreviated name though, he did live in Canada.

Eric Gagne (Eric Gahn-Yay) – It’s pronounced Gahn-Yay. If it helps you remember, you can recite my childish little pneumonic device. Eric Gagne has gone to to the bay to eat some hay and go on a date with Rebecca De Mornay.

Dat Nguyen (Dat Win) - Trust me. You do not want to mess up Dat’s name. Contrary to popular belief, little Asian dudes will f*ck you up. This is good to learn, especially for you college kids, because this last name is everywhere. You might as well start pronouncing it right now. It’s not Na-gu-yen, but rather it’s pronounced Wen or Win or something like that.

Renaldo Balkman (Renaldo-not-Rolando Balkman-Not-Blackman) – White people have this perception issue with Renaldo’s name. It seems their eyes plays tricks on them. I think it’s because he is, you know, um, black. Thus, white NBA dabblers always call him Renaldo Black Man. Plus, as if it wasn’t confusing enough the white people, there is also a NBA player from the 70s & 80s called Rolando Blackman.

Pavel Bure (Pah-Vel Boo-Ray) – This one is little more mainstream these days, but man back in Pavel’s heyday, he used to get butchered. Who would have thought 4 sylaables could cause do much damage. Any combination you could imagine, people used it: Pay-vel, Pah-Vel, Byure, Burr, or Bu-Ra. You name it, he’s heard it. We don’t feel too sorry for him though, since he’s seen Kournikova in the raw.

Before we leave you, here’s a funny little tidbit of Bure-Kournikova trivia from Wikipedia. “In 2001 a Moscow based newspaper called the eXile published an article claiming Bure broke-up with Anna Kournikova after discovering she had two vaginas.”

Finally, if any others come to mind, hit us up in the comments.

Turn on the ^&*#ing "Auto-Pick" Before You Leave the Draft Lobby

I’m by no means afraid to admit that I am a pure unadulterated Fantasy Football Geek. In fact, you may have taken note of this by me actually thoroughly planning out a full pledged 14-Round mock draft without the aid of just copying the one already posted on CBS SportsLine. No sir, I was planning on doing this all on my own intuition and reserve. Well, today the dream is officially deceased…I am cutting off the “Mock Draft 1.0” at the ankles.

However, that’s not all bad news. For those of us, like myself with the occasional 2 or 3 hours to kill on the internet, instead of working during the day, there is always the “Mock Draft Lobby” on ESPN.com. Somewhere behind the scenes Eric Karabell is ejaculating in his pants over and over like “Orgasm Guy” at the mere thought of being able to mock draft every 5 minutes…24/7.

And for somebody like me, who just can’t get enough Fantasy intake or prep for my own draft(s), this really is a good thing. So as per usual, I arrived promptly on-time at work yesterday and beneath the watching eye of the Internet Police explored my first mock draft of the year, which actually took place outside of my own head. It felt pretty fucking good I must admit.

Fantasy Drafts are exhilarating to me, mock or not…they really get the blood a pumping. And you factor that in with a cup of morning coffee and I must appear as though I did a couple of Richard Dawson rails at my cubicle.

By noon, I’m usually 5 mock drafts deep and forming draft patterns and strategies. For the record and not to give away too many of my drafts plans (as somebody from one of my leagues could be reading), but anyway…I’ve found there is an overabundance of “good” RB’s, very few “REALLY good” RB’s and only a couple “REALLY good” QB’s. Now, I know real revolutionary…you could’ve just read Brandon “fucking” Funston and gotten that tidbit.

Yet, again…I can only give away so much. On a more frustrating note, in my sample work yesterday I was relegated to drafting no better than #5 and (count ‘em) 4 times I was slotted at #7 and once at #9. While at #5, I went with the obvious choice of Frank Gore…fuck the injury. At #7, a couple times I took Manning, Gore was there once, also took Addai and Westbrook. At #9 I got cute and took Steve Smith…so there you have it.

However, I must issue this warning or summons for those of you who may be trolling around the draft lobby in the next few weeks. If you do leave a draft you had better fucking put on the “Auto-Pick” feature or I will find you and shit in your cereal…prick. There is nothing more absurd and frustrating than getting all amp’d up for a “MOCK” draft and then having a few flakes just click out of the page and leave the rest of us hanging.

Is it too much to ask to just set it on Auto-Pick? Look, I’m not being anal, I’m being honest. Yeah, maybe I’m taking this waaaaaay too serious, but when I’m bored, I’m bored. And it just so happens that my boredom coincides with the building and anticipation of Fantasy Football season. So, if you’ve got some time to kill hop onto a Mock Draft, but remember to NEVER sign out without flipping on the auto-pilot.

It’s a courtesy to your fellow fucking nerds drafters. And it should work to the betterment of the whole ESPN production. I thank you and for fuck sakes Eric Karabell thanks you and cums in his pants. Now, go test run your fucking draft…pricks. I'll be back at this morning...gotta run.

Roger Clemens is Making “Funny” Again

Have you seen the new Roger Clemens “T-Mobile” commercial? You know, yet another one of those dropped call ads, trying to persuade consumers to switch over to “T-Mobile” service? I enjoy Verizon Wireless...so no fucking thanks. Long and short, Rocket is out on the golf course, surprisingly in shape, with some buddies and he calls his wife to see if it’s “OK” to play baseball again. Of course, his wife appears irate, but the reception drops and Rog…thinks she’s speechless.

Hence, he is coming back to play Baseball for the Devils Yankees. It’s certainly not quite as funny as a 43 year old making close to a million per start. Or that same pitcher boasting a 3-5 record with 3.92 ERA, but it’s a start. I’ve often thought of Rog as Satan stale, bland and rather un-funny. Yet, couple him with some cute ad campaigns and clever executives and all of the sudden we have a more personable Roger Clemens.

Of course, one can only wonder if the Rocket charges for commercials what he charges for his mediocre pitching. Anyhow, the Yankees got what they bargained for and Lucifer the Rocket is surprisingly sticking around the team in good and bad times. He’s apparently in mid-season form thanks to the steroids the many hours of dedication he puts into his regular fitness routine.

And better yet, the Rocket is trying to make us all forget the arrogant prick often times selfish image we perceive of him. Hey, hats off to you bud and nice work on the “T-Mobile” bit. At least, if he is gonna suck on the mound, he’s doing something to earn his money. Too bad, it’s not at all like this classic…where Rocket gets “Zestfully” clean.

Fantasy Mock Draft 1.0: Round #8

And so, all good things or bad things for that matter must come to an end sooner or later. That is why I can do no more. This is it, the final round of the “Mock Draft 1.0.” I’d like to thank all…um, nobody…that actually stuck around to make it this far. Well, it’s been fun, but now I am psyched to just get ready for the Fantasy season ahead...on my own.

(Check in with the Previous Rounds).

99. Baltimore Defense – Technically speaking, they were a smidgen better (point wise) then the Bears Defense was last season. So, it’s kind of coin flip on who you pick first.

100. Jay Cutler – He seems like he’s got that "under the radar" tag, where all the right things are being said about him, but the hype isn’t overwhelming. This could be similar to Carson Palmer’s first full season, when he emerged in the 2nd half…could be.

101. Terry Glenn – Yup, he is still in the league. And he’s ready to take the sloppy seconds from the TO/Romo love affair. Simply, the utmost professional.

102. Eli Manning – Have fun with this one. My mistake last season, but not again. Someday he’ll wipe that Gomer pile look off his face and be a man. Not sure if that is going to happen this year, but he no doubt should’ve been a “Chunky’s Soup” Spokesman.

103. Isaac Bruce – The Reverend is still in the building. In a really, really deep league he holds a lot more value than you’d think.

104. Joe Horn – No Michael Vick, no problemo – he’s got JOEY!!!

105. San Diego Defense – I don’t know why anyone would take the Patriots before this unit. Ron Rivera is in town and you’d only think an already stellar defense is going to get better.

106. Patriots Defense – I’m smelling a run of defenses coming off the board. Somebody is going to over gamble on this team, keep in mind their linebackers are ancient and slow…you can’t hide them any longer.

107. Jason Witten – And J-Witt will be glad to take sloppy thirds from Romo and TO.

108. Priest Holmes – Somebody’s gotta draft him…why not you?

109. Chris Henry – He’s RB on the Titans…this is gonna be fun.

110. Dominic Rhodes – He’s got the 4 game suspension to deal with and then he should have no problem pushing the big fat, Lamont Jordan. Of course, he has absolutely no offense line to run through.

111. Wes Welker – Bill Simmons already has a man crush, so I’d recommend staying away.

112. Reuben Droughns – Why? Because I am burnt out on doing these mock drafts…I’m out.

Sports Fanatic: Who Would You Want to Hang With?

Allow me to introduce a new feature piece here at the Ghosts. And pardon me if this borders on the cliché or the “been there done that” fine line of blogging. Yet, we’ve decided to take an approach loosely based on a “Sports Fanatic” theme. That’s right it’s all about you the fan.

The topic goes like this…if you could hang out with three athletes who would they be and why? The rules are pretty basic, the assumption is that you’d get the chance to hang with each one for just one day at various times. The athlete can be alive or dead, doesn’t matter. You don’t have to go in depth, as to why you want to hang with them, just give us a general idea…please don’t get all gay and emotional on us.

These don’t have to be your favorite athletes necessarily, just a select crew that you’d love to meet. Well, you can guess where this is going right? Yup, we’d like to be able to run this bit in the regular rotation, but that’s going to require some help. We’ll probably enlist a few bloggers from around this here internet to get involved. And of course, we’re also entertaining anyone who has an interest to do a guest submission (send an email here).

So, along the same lines of a “if you were stranded on a remote island what is one thing you couldn’t live without?” Actually, a better version of that would be Brahsome’s “Sitting in Limbo” series. Anyhow, here is our first stab at “Who would you hang with?” - Our potentially new running bit and first up is going to be yours truly, Stan G. Marcohz, your co-editor.

Let me think this over for a second. Three athletes that I’d like to hang with? Hmm, this is going to be tougher than I thought.

Rasheed Wallace – If anything just to feel like I’m one cool mother fucker. Sheed just seems like that down to earth kind of a guy. Please turn off the gay music. Anyway, it’d be cool to smoke some fine nuggets and play video games with Sheed all day. Isn’t Madden coming out soon? Actually, Sheed is a long standing favorite of mine and by no means could I have this list without his name plastered all over it.

John Daly – This is an easy choice; the booze, the women, the gambling, even the occasional stabbing and/or domestic abuse. “Keep it Straight” John lives a lifestyle littered with vices, that I see more as a hobby than anything. Sprinkle in a round of Golf at a spectacular PGA course and we are talking gold. How about a round of 18 where I try and keep pace beer for beer with Big John? Or we could head over to the track and wager on the Ponies? I’d get his read on every NFL and College Football game on the board…and bet the exact opposite.

Stephen Jackson – The Basketball Player and Gangster. This was a most difficult decision. Actually, it came down to a three way coin toss between Chad Johnson (who helped win me a Fantasy Football title in ’05), Steven Jackson of the Rams and of course our boy, “S-Jack.” Well, after much debate I had to go with “S-Jack.” If anything he provides that element of danger, which anything involving gunfights and strip clubs just seems like a curiosity and adrenaline peak.

S-Jack would hardly rank as a favorite player of mine, by any means. However, his volatile and protective attitude no doubt would make me feel safe that I could walk away just fine without any scars if we were to say…get into a street brawl. Or even better if we were to get involved in a fight at an NBA arena…right?

And so…those are my picks. Yes, I am well aware that I would end up dead or waking up in a sewer with my pants missing on Monday Morning if I hung with that crew for three straight days. I’m not quite sure how it happened that way, but I guess that’s just how the apple fell from the tree. Apologies to leaving out the following: LT, Matt Leinhart, Reggie Bush, Chris Chelios, Manny Ramirez, Maria Sharapova, etc.

As always, your comments and ridicule are welcomed below. And don’t forget to send us an email if you want to be a guest in this bit.

Letter to Jerry Garcia: Happy Birthday from Bill Walton

(Note: A special guest/feature to the Ghosts from Bill Walton. Well, not really).

Hello down there, it’s Bill Walton ready to usher in this day of utmost importance. And you may be wondering where I am when I reference you as being “down there.” Well, today I am simply floating on air to the hymns of the Grateful Dead. And the special day of which I speak is none other than the “would be” birthday of the great Jerome John Garcia.

I petitioned for my counterparts at ESPN, ESPN.com and even ESPN Classic to allow me to devote a Special segment or program to my good friend Jerry on this of all days. However, the good working suits at ESPN/Walt Disney didn’t see the logic behind my concept, fools. To my utter dismay, not even Sirius Satellite Radio would grant me the access to do such a simulcast. They informed me, I am allotted only “x” amount of time per week and the program would not air until Saturday.

So, I turned to the only folks I knew that would accept my bid to pay a tribute and that was my good friends over at the Ghosts. Allow me to do thee honor and thanks. It’s a gorgeous day in Del Mar and the summer breeze about the air serves as a reminder that the fair winds will blow me safely home.

If will, please take a long strange trip with me and listen to the river sing sweet songs to rock your soul. I’m gathering a handful of the old Maxell XL-II’s from the vault and spinning out some of the fondest memories ever captured on analog. Ah, the splendor and joy of celebrating the one and only, Jerry Garcia.

In basketball, as in the meandering melodies of the music, players change their ways, move to new cities, and things turn over and start a new. Just like the “Franklin’s Tower” from the Winterland on March 19, 1977, the Celtics too are starting a new. You sang, "It can rain turn night to day, rain like fire if you lose your way."

Well, this beloved and storied franchise we know as the Celtics had lost their way. However, the Celtics are no longer confused, as they did "just listen to the music play." And with the help from a special little instrument of change named Kevin Garnett. I hope Garnett brings a little of the magic back that you once brought to Boston, Jerry.

I recall a special memory we shared on your birthday in 1994, Jerry. You and the other cats played the Palace and fans throughout the room lit candles to celebrate your birthday and we all sang you a special happy birthday serenade. I even signed the giant card that went around for you. Unfortunately, that was the last birthday we would share together as you passed away just a year and change later.

Nevertheless, this was a great memory. I sure felt free when you and the boys belted out "Liberty" for a stellar encore. Sadly, that was not the only dynasty that was ending in Detroit. The Pistons were in the midst of a colossal decline. After the reign of the Bad Boys in the late eighties and early nineties, Detroit Pistons saw their heart and soul disappear much like when you passed into the next life. The Worm, Dennis Rodman, made his long strange trip off to another team and another state of reality. All the broken dreams and vanished years left Detroit Fans feeling Stella Blue. Stella Blue.

Oh, how bittersweet it is to here a soothing “Brokedown Palace.” Much like the rendition from New Years Eve 1986; that one just rocks my soul. And the irony of such a sad, but emotional song is what David Stern is dealing with around the NBA these days. This is a song about passing to a better place and let’s hope with this atrocious referee scandal in the rearview, the NBA can leave this state of flux it’s in right now, this “Brokedown Palace.” Fare you well, my good friend.

Yes, for Jerry I must devote an epic “Chinacat>Rider” from Alpine Valley in 1989. And who could forget a classic rendition of “Bertha” from the Capitol Theater in ’71? How could I possibly leave out the “Uncle John’s Band” from 12/26/79? Oh, the treats and a treasure filled landscape much like the NBA’s Western Conference. So many GREAT, very GREAT teams and only one can be the Champion.

Good lord, look at the time…where is it going? “All I know is something like a bird within you sang…all I know you sang a little while and then flew on.” And so, my good friend I am signing off…Happy Birthday Jerry! And thank you to The Ghosts for having me...I hope you all wake up tomorrow to find that YOU are the EYES of the WORLD.