Ranking the Fantasy Quarterbacks

As we close in on a gargantuan weekend of Fantasy Drafts, we figured it'd be as good a time as ever to run a positional cap and rank. First up is the all too vital QB slot and I'm the navigator. Anyhow, the QB situation in Fantasy Football can always be a tricky one. Technically speaking, Peyton Manning has traditionally been the lone QB selected in the first round, for obvious reasons.

And pending on what theory you subscribe to this isn't always the best choice on the board when you take into consideration that guys like Drew Brees and Carson Palmer have been nipping at Manning's proverbial Fantasy throne for the past few seasons. While guys like Donovan McNabb, Marc Bulger and Tom Brady ain't too far behind either. I for one, tend to shy away from QB's in the first few rounds. However, I question if that is going to work this year, as it's a pretty even consensus that aside from the upper tier QB's...it gets to tends to be a crap shoot.

And you very well could be shit of luck if you hold off for that "maybe" guy in the later rounds. You always gamble on losing the edge of consistency. Well, best of luck with your draft process. And so, now I present my rank on the QB's on the big board and just what they each bring to the table. Here is my tier system...top to very bottom.

1st Tier: The Studs - They should need NO introduction.

Peyton Manning: Never a stretch and never a doubt. Manning is the type of guy who picks himself #1 overall, despite denying every playing Fantasy Football. The ultimate stat whore, who plays to the stats week in and week out. I've never owned Manning, but if he were to ever slip late in the first round in a deep league...he just might be my target.

Carson Palmer: He's about as close to Manning as you can find on the board. The knee injury is long behind him and his steady stable of weapons puts him securely locked into #1A on the QB chart. A lock for 3500-4000 yards and a probable 30-35 TD's, minimal INT's...is this the year he equals or passes Manning? We'll see, but he's been damn close the past few seasons. Thanks Carson for helping me win a title in 2005.

2nd Tier: The Safer Alternatives - If you can't land Manning or Palmer these are the targets.

Tom Brady: He earns the "hype" every single season. However, has he really ever lived up to the expectations? Cold weather and the Patriots philosophy of grinding it out on the ground makes me wonder. Insert Stallworth, Moss and Welker and now everyone is drooling over Brady's prospects. He's gotta be on the top line of the 2nd tier for those assets alone. However, I've still got my doubts.

Drew Brees: Made the leap to the upper echelon last season. And another season in Sean Payton's offense should assure there is no slippage. His weapons need very little introduction and from all stat projections I've gathered...he could be right up there in the Stud division, but we'll just have to let the course play itself out.

Marc Bulger: Consistency. That's all you can really ask for and Bulger brings just that every week.

Donovan McNabb: I'm signed up for Camp McNabb. I'm a firm believer in the McNabb revenge tour. This should be his middle finger season to all his doubters. And we should all remember before he got hurt last season, he was not only the best QB in Fantasy, but also the best player.

3rd Tier: The Ford Taraus' - They aren't sexy, but they can get the job done.

Matt Hasselback: He's good for about 3500 yards and 20-25 TD's. And that's why he's an honorary member of the Ford Taraus division every season.

Tony Romo: He's got TO and really that's enough for me. A lot of people are shy on Romo for the mere fact that he essentially shit the bed down the stretch last season, but he's looked the part early in pre-season. Yes, I know it's pre-season, but I've got to stick up for the guy who will be quarterbacking my squad in at least one League.

Jon Kitna: He's guaranteeing us about 50 to 100 TD's, which may not be so much of a stretch. However, he forgot to mention that he'll probably fumble 75 times and throw 40 picks. If you can survive on that...he's your guy. One bright side, he did take every single snap for the Lions at QB last season. And Martz has big plans for him in year #2.

Tier 4: On the Cusp - Due for breakout seasons, but also still a hint of a gamble.

Vince Young: He's either gonna be really, really good this season or take a huge step back. Your guess is as good as mine. Who the hell is he going to throw the ball to?

Phillip Rivers: The Leap year?

Matt Leinhart: See Rivers. Although, his upside appears to be much higher with the likes of Fitzgerald and Boldin split wide.

Tier 5: The Jeep Cherokees - They'll get you where you going, but always breakdown in the long run.

Brett Favre: His one last chance to make amends for the shit platters he's put up in the past few seasons. However, with Driver and Jennings on board...Favre still holds value.

Jay Cutler: He'd make the ideal back-up to a legitimate upper tier QB. He has the tools, weapons and potential to be a great fill in starter for bye weeks or difficult match-ups. I'd refer to him as safe option at the very least.

Alex Smith: I'm moving him up this year, big time. He's in a spot to succeed with a stud RB and a beast like Vernon Davis at TE. Don't underestimate the acquisition of Darrell Jackson...it's quite the upgrade over Antonio Bryant.

Jake Delhomme: I have absolutely no idea what to expect from Delhomme, but as long as Steve Smith is healthy...he can disguise how mediocre he really is.

Tier 6: The Test Drives - You aren't quite sure what to expect, but you always hope it's a steal.

Steve McNair: He ain't what he used to be, but with an improved offense in Baltimore he can't really kill you all that much, nor can he help you really. So, it's your call if you want to give him a roster slot.

Eli Manning: This is Eli's last chance to finally make a good impression. He can't hide behind that Gomer Pile face and the Manning name any longer this season. Make or Break or he's moving down to the shit pile.

Matt Schaub: The Big Question Mark.

Ben Roethlisberger: It really can't get any worse than last season for Burger, which means he bounces back or heads for the CFL. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, but he's a questionable back-up at best. Play the match-ups if you're stuck with him.

Tier 7: Waiver Wires - Only in deep leagues or desperate measures.

Jeff Garcia: He will likely be laying flat on his back or taking it up the ass in Tampa Bay.

Jason Campbell: We need to see a little more of this guy before he lands on any roster.

J.P Losman: He's got Lee Evans, which could be a good thing.

Byron Leftwich: Yeah, he's slow and he's an injury waiting to happen, but he'll give you at least one good fill in week if need be.

Tier 8: The Lingering Farts - These guys never go away...they just keep surfacing on some desperate owners team.

Chad Pennington: He has looked simply pitiful this pre-season. I'm scared this could be the end...I like Chad.

Trent Green: Enough is enough already...Kansas City is not regretting his departure, but you will be if you employ him with a roster slot.

Tier 9: The Used Tampons - Somethings are just NOT meant to be recycled.

Joey Harrington: What can really be said that hasn't already been said a million times before?

Daunte Culpepper: He's BAAACK!!! And just in time to sabotage some unsuspecting owner in your league, who still thinks they are getting Culpepper circa 2004. Not happening, WAKE UP!!!

Tier 10: The Shit Platter - Better get yourself some toilet paper to clean up the mess.

Tavaris Jackson: I've got nothing.

Rex Grossman: If you can live with actually scoring negative points from your QB...be my guest.

Charlie Frye: Uh, yeah.

Brady Quinn: Why not?

Michael Vick: Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-ya-death-rows-in-the-mutha-fuckin'-house.