Tony and Eva: Date Night in Cleveland.

It’s late on Thursday night in Cleveland. The San Antonio Spurs have just won the NBA Championship and Tony Parker was named the MVP. Meanwhile, back at their hotel suite in downtown Cleveland, America’s “it” couple of the moment Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are just a few hours removed from the celebration. They are enjoying a moment of solace to cherish the events of what took place on this special night.

Eva: Baby, I’m so proud of you. Wow, Mr. MVP...my Tony Parker. That sounds so sexy.

Tony: Vous êtes le prix le plus beau dans le monde ma colombe.

Eva: Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty, sexy French to me. What the hell did that mean though?

Tony: It meant, forget the MVP trophy…you are the most beautiful prize my dove.

Eva: Oh baby, keep talking French to me…it’s turning me on.

Tony: “Fermer vos yeux, faire un souhait et éteint le canlde. ..I'll make love to amour de marque à vous, comme vous me veut à et je ne laisserai pas vais jusqu'à ce que vous me dire...”

Eva: Oooooh, I’m getting hot. I’m feeling VERY vulnerable. What did that mean?

Tony: That was Boyz-II-Men baby.

Eva: Gross…baby that is so gay. Boyz-II-Men is so 1990’s. I thought you were going to listen to that copy of Justin’s new album I burnt for you?

Phone Rings.

Tony (answers): Hello…Manu?

The voice on the other line is Manu Ginobli.

Manu: Hello Tony. I want to congratulate you, I’m so excited Tony. I’m so excited, I’m so lonely.

Tony: Oh Manu, Manu. I’m so glad you called.

Manu: Ah …what you doing tonight for eh…um…ah, dinner?

Tony: Manu, Manu you know I’d love to have you come along with us.

Eva is rolling her eyes in the background and motions for Tony to cut the phone conversation.

Manu: OH! This is very great. VERY great. I miss you Tony.

Tony: And I also miss you Manu, Manu. We shall leave the quarters very soon for dinner and you will be my guest Manu, Manu.

Tony hangs up the phone.

Eva: What the fuck was that baby?

Tony: What baby? You know Manu, Manu is very lonely. He needs our company.

Eva: Baby, he’s like our child. Everywhere we go, he goes. Why can’t we ever have a romantic evening alone? He's always hopping on as our third wheel. What happened to all that sexy French talk? And you question why we don’t have sex until we are married? We’ll he’s the reason.

Tony: My dove, please don’t fret. Je vous aime plus que les mots jamais pourraient montrer.

Eva: Did you just quote Extreme “More than Words” in French? What is wrong with you? Baby, you just won MVP of the NBA Finals…you have to start acting like it.

Tony: But Sweetie, Manu is lonely he has no woman to comfort him.

Eva: Baby, he is balding and has awful breath…could that be why he has no women?

Tony: In Argentina, it is common for man to have bad breath. It’s part of their culture.

Eva: Well, here is some French for you and your lover “Vous les gars baisent gai.”

Tony: Why are you being so harsh to me?

Eva: Because baby, NO husband of mine is going to be a pussy. I mean if you’re going to take the “Longoria” name you had better start acting more deserving.

Tony: Wait, wait, wait…who says I am going to take your name?

Eva: I do. And what I say goes in this relationship.

Tony: “Je fais n'importe quoi pour l'amour, mais je ne ferai pas cela.”

Eva: Is that Meatloaf? My god baby…I do know some French.

Tony: Baby, I am not changing my name.

Eva: Good, than screw you…you and “Manu, Manu” can go out on your own little date together, because I’m not going.

Tony: Baby---

Eva: Just go.

Tony: But I---

Eva: Connard.

Eva begins to cry and brushes off Tony’s attempt to comfort her.

Tony: Very well then my dove, I will bring you a doggie bag.

Eva: I’m not a fucking dog.

The Phone rings again.

Tony: Manu, Manu?

Manu: Tony.

Tony: Manu.

Manu: Tony.

Tony: Manu.

Manu: Tony.

Tony: Ok, I meet you in the lobby right now. (chuckles) No, she is NOT going. Just me and you.

Tony hangs up the phone.

Tony (to Eva): You are sure that you do not want to go my dove?

Eva: Get. The. FUCK. Out of here.

Tony leaves and the door slams behind him. He is off to cherish his prized hour of glory with his one true friend, Manu, Manu.